AN: Of course, thanks to Haleigh! Yay for procrastinated work on both our parts.


After a minimum amount of hassle, Steph managed to get both of her nieces strapped into the backseat of the car. She would have let Mary Alice sit in the front had Lula not given her a very vivid mental image of her door flying open on the freeway. Best to avoid tempting fate on that one.

The drive to Haywood was uneventful, and she pulled up to the gate of the parking garage several minutes later. Steph studied the gate, realizing that she no longer had Ranger's key fob to let her in. Fortunately, someone must have recognized her on the scanners, because the gate magically opened. She parked, and circled around to the back door to retrieve her nieces.

"What that?" A deep male voice asked from behind her.

Stephanie turned and smiled sweetly at Tank. "These are my nieces, who my sister asked me to baby-sit half an hour ago. Mary Alice, this is Tank."

"Does the boss know?" Tank said after several moments of staring down at the little girl.

"Not yet. This what he gets for being an ass," Stephanie replied. She smiled broadly and unbuckled Lisa from her car seat.

"You're really big," said Mary Alice as she stood, craning her neck to look up at Tank. "If you were a horse you'd be a Clydesdale. I'm a palomino today."

Tank gave Stephanie a confused look. "She thinks she's a horse," Stephanie mouthed over Mary Alice's head. Tank nodded once and smiled down at the little girl.

"I can see that. You make a great palomino," he said, still smiling. "But, I'm going to let you in on a secret. I'm a horse too, and if you want, I'll give you a ride."

Mary Alice's eyes sparkled and a huge grin broke out over her face. "Okay!" she said.

Tank carefully got down onto his knees, and Mary Alice positioned herself for a piggyback ride. Even with Tank on the ground, she still had to jump to reach his shoulders. He lifted her up and headed for the elevator, carrying the diaper bag in one hand, and holding Mary Alice up with the other. Stephanie trailed along behind, noting with amusement that her niece's legs dangled straight down Tank's back because his frame was too large for her legs to even begin to go around.

She fought a grin while she waited for the elevator to take her to Ranger's seventh floor apartment. He was sure in for a surprise.


Ranger hung up the phone and waited impatiently for Stephanie. It was a shame she didn't get a chance to wear the dress, but he'd already half expected it. He just hoped she hadn't rolled through garbage today, he'd just had his carpets cleaned.

He busied himself removing all traces of romance from his apartment, making sure that he was prepared for a causal dinner. He doused the candles and cleared away the fancy dishes, opting instead for regular plates. He had changed out of his tux and pulled on some casual black sweatpants and matching shirt. The soft, romantic, music had been stored and his apartment returned to its original state. Now only one thing was missing for his casual apology dinner.

What was taking her so long? Maybe she had decided not to come after all, he had heard about the hamster bedding incident from Tank, who had heard about it from Lula. Maybe standing him up was her idea of paying him back.

Even if she did show up, this wasn't going to be easy. Apologizing had never been his strong point, and he didn't have the first clue how to fix a fuck up this big. Laughing softly at himself, he realized he hadn't been this nervous in years. Not when under fire, hell not even when facing probable death. He had been shot, beaten, and threatened without cracking, but the idea of apologizing to one little white woman was making him pace the room like a nervous little girl waiting for her prom date.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, there was a knock on his door. He checked his watch; it had been exactly twenty three minutes since she had called. He pulled open the door, struggling to resume his stoic facade. It didn't quite hold up to the site that lay in wait.

Steph stood outside his door with a tiny baby in her arms. Ranger raised an eyebrow. Where on earth had she gotten a baby? Or a better question, who had gotten desperate enough to trust a baby to someone who regularly barbecued vehicles. His line of site moved upward and settled behind Steph, where Tank stood looking sheepish. Two pink hands were clasped in front of his neck, the attached arms disappearing over his massive shoulders. If he had to hazard a guess, it was probably another kid.

"Babe?" he asked, eying the baby in her arms. "There something you want to tell me?"

"This is my niece Lisa. Here you go," she said, thrusting Lisa into Ranger's arms.

"Babe…" he trailed off staring down at the pink clad bundle. Children always made him uncomfortable; he hadn't even spent time with his own daughter in ages. Even while holding the baby awkwardly in his arms, he had to give her credit. She had instinctualy managed to pick out the one thing that could possibly get to him. She had amazing perceptions.

"Nope. You told me come as is, well here I am!" Stephanie said, throwing her arms wide. She narrowed her eyes and added, "Besides. You owe me." That confirmed Ranger's suspicions. She was getting even with him like she had with Morelli. Even when he was at the receiving end of her wrath, he was proud of her. His babe was definitely no doormat.

He let out an imperceptible sigh, looked up at Tank, and gestured toward his apartment with his head. Tank, Stephanie and the little girl followed him inside. This was not the evening he had envisioned when he asked her over, but he was determined to make the best of it to show Stephanie how sorry he was. And if it meant putting up with little the little galloping girl and a screaming baby, he would gladly do it. Steph was worth it.

ONE HOUR LATER

"You have got to be shitting me," Ranger thought to himself. No one was worth this. The baby had screamed continuously from the time she had entered the apartment. The little horse kid galloped around the living room alternately making high pitched noises and demanding hay. She had even turned down the carefully prepared food that Ella had made until Stephanie had told her there were oats in it because, 'horses eat oats'.

Oh, who was he kidding? Stephanie was worth every torturous minute. And if he was being really honest with himself, he did deserve far worse.

After Mary Alice had eaten, she had studied Ranger for several minutes, finally declaring that he wasn't a horse like her and Tank, he had to be a donkey instead. Whatever the fuck that meant. Then she went back to the galloping. The entire time Stephanie had just sat back on the couch, taking in the entire scene silently giggling. He could tell that she knew who had won. And it wasn't him.

Ranger knew how to deal with drug dealers, crack addicts, enemy soldiers, and upper level military leaders. Nothing in his experience had prepared him for a little girl who thought she was a horse and he was a donkey. What was he going to do, throw her out the window?

She stopped her galloping and stared up at Ranger again. She cocked her head and furrowed her brow, obviously thinking very hard about something.

"What?" he asked, meeting her gaze.

"I don't get why Aunt Stephanie said you're a donkey," Mary Alice said solemnly.

"She said I was a donkey?"

"Yeah, I heard her say downstairs that you're an ass," Mary Alice said. She turned around and galloped away making the loudest noises he'd ever heard come out of such a small person.

A choking sound came from behind him, and he turned to see Stephanie doubled over, laughing uncontrollably. If she hadn't already been sitting down she would have been in danger of falling over.

He let out a sharp bark of laughter and met her tear-streaming eyes. "Alright babe, I deserved that. But don't you think this is bordering on cruel and unusual?"

"It's about time to return them to their zoo-keeper anyway. But don't think you're off the hook yet," she said shaking her figure playfully. She stood and gathered Lisa in her arms. Ranger snagged Mary Alice as she trotted past and threw her over one shoulder, scooping the diaper bag up in his other hand.

Ranger rode down the elevator with a giggling Mary Alice over his shoulder. Stephanie's eyes sparkled with amusement, which he hoped meant he was at least somewhat forgiven.

The elevator doors opened and he helped Stephanie to her car. He took in the duct taped door and sighed. "You want a car babe?" He crossed his fingers. Not only was it a sure-fire way to piss off Morelli, he would also feel much safer knowing she wasn't driving on the turnpike with nothing but duct tape between her and the pavement.

"Nope, I've already got the car seat in this one," she said as she leaned over to buckle in Lisa. Mary Alice climbed into the car and Stephanie leaned up and kissed Ranger on the cheek. "That was for the bar fight," she murmured in his ear. He smiled in spite of himself. She drove him nuts, but god he loved this woman.

Ranger leaned through her door to give her a peck on the cheek. "The car smells like goat manure babe," he said. He gave her a full on grin and closed the door in her indignat face before she had a chance to retort. She cranked the car on and backed carefully out of her parking space.

He watched her pull out of the garage and smiled to himself. Stephanie Plum was a challenge, and he loved a good challenge. Suddenly, another though occurred to him. If that was only payback for the bar fight, what else did she have in store? Good thing she didn't know about his and Morelli's deal. Yet.

Luckily, she hadn't even asked about the fight, he wasn't ready to explain that. And under no circumstances would he ever lie to her. He turned to go back inside the building still slightly smiling. Yes, the woman he loved was a stubborn pain in the ass, but he was even more stubborn.