**WARNING: The act of self-harm is featured in this chapter. Just so we're clear, I'm not supporting this in anyway but only adding it because it's necessary to the story and will be mentioned later on. Also, thanks for sticking with me this far :) **
Annie's feet moved as fast as her brain. What the hell just happened? She could not believe that she let that weakling tell what he thought of her, give her his jacket, and even kiss her hand! She still felt the blood rising to her cheeks—and it wasn't from the bitter cold grasping at her flesh. Inside, she could hear the Female Titan growling angrily: How dare you let that boy's kindness overtake you? He's an enemy. The whole world is your enemy.
Have you forgotten your father's words?
"No," Annie mumbled, voice low and frantic. She stormed through the crowd of people shuffling on the sidewalk, her steps quickening, her heart hammering.
You have. You deserve to be punished for being such a burden on your father.
Annie grunted as she rounded a corner and walked to the nearest empty space available—which happened to be another alleyway with an overflowing dumpster pushed against the brick wall. She plopped down behind the dumpster and began rocking back and forth while clutching her head in her hands.
"No, no, no," she muttered into her chest. "It's not like that…"
You don't get to tell me what things are, traitor! You don't disobey your father's orders, no matter what! What use are you? You're a liar and a traitor.
"I'm not a…liar…" Annie took out her mother's wedding ring from her pants pocket and examined it, her body practically hunched over the piece of jewelry. This was the only thing she had taken from her home before running away. It was hidden in her father's nightstand: the top drawer, underneath his wrinkled T-shirts. For some unknown reason, the diamond in the center of the ring was gone. All that remained was the gold wiring spiraling into the air, grasping nothing.
Weak and pathetic and useless! Wasn't your father training you to become a strong warrior instead of this scrawny and frail little girl? If you keep this up, you'll die just your mother did: covered in blood and crying like an injured puppy.
"No…" Annie curled herself into a ball, fighting back her tears and the overwhelming urge to drag the damaged wedding ring across her even more damaged skin. Armin's coat still hung upon her back, attempting to wrap her in its warm embrace. But no warmth could ever tame this cold-blooded monster.
Fall, Annie, snarled the Female Titan.
And so she did.
Annie sliced the diamond-less ring through the scars displayed on her wrist, ripping open multiple scabs. She didn't feel the pain (she had grown numb to it) as she watched her red blood slide down her hand. She rolled back her sleeve so she wouldn't get any bodily fluids on her sweatshirt and held out her hand in front of her, seeing the red river pour from her.
After quite some time, when the blood had dried, Annie stuffed the wedding ring back into her front pocket and lowered her sleeve back to her knuckles. She wiped her eyes hurriedly, just in case she had cried at all (she could never tell). Just as the broken soul shakenly got on her feet, something fell from Armin's jacket pocket.
It was a small bottle of cold medicine, made to cure headaches, runny noses, stomach cramps, coughing fits—things like that. Annie plucked the bottle from the ground and examined the label. This was a common medicine; Annie herself had taken this whenever her body ached after a brutal training session with her father.
Her thoughts wandered over to Armin. Why did he have this in his coat pocket? He didn't look sick or in pain, so he shouldn't need it. Unless it was meant for her…
"Bastard," she muttered under her breath, unscrewing the cap and taking a big gulp of the dark liquid. She put the cap back on, placed the medicine in Armin's inner coat pocket, and then made the trip back to Three Walls.
She quietly stepped through the front entrance of the bar just as the angered voice of Ymir rang about the room: "Dammit, you stupid piece of shit! Work!"
The freckled girl was nowhere to be seen however, once Annie looked around the room. She did notice Reiner and Berthold sitting by the spotless bar. They were wearing their thin and beaten up jackets and gloves; she thought they had just gotten back from who-knows-where and were in the process of warming up but as she walked further into the open space, she quickly realized that the room no longer held any warmness.
Annie glanced at the two boys, who looked back at her with expressions of annoyance and ice. "The furnace isn't working," Reiner explained, rubbing his hands together frustratingly.
"Ymir's been working on it for the past thirty minutes now," Berthold added. He nervously scrubbed his jacketed arm.
Suddenly a door to the left swung open and a very irritated Ymir stormed out. "That's it!" she yelled into the air. "I'm done trying to repair that piece of crap!"
Her giant feet stomped over to where the trio had gathered. "I have no fucking idea how the thing broke and I have no fucking idea how to fix it so we're just gonna have to deal with the fucking cold." After her explosion, she plopped down on the last available stool, crossing her arms and frowning deeply.
Annie was about to stroll away, really not in the mood to talk, but was stopped short by Reiner's next words: "Where did you get that jacket?"
She slowly turned half-way to meet Reiner, paused, and then lied: "I found it."
It was a crappy lie; even Reiner could tell something was up when Annie gave her answer. "That's an awfully nice coat. Where did you find it?"
"On an empty park bench. It got left behind." An even crappier lie.
Reiner stood from his seat and walked over to Annie. Her hands clutched at the rough fabric protectively the closer the jock got. He finally stopped in front of her, peered at the coat, and then back at Annie, eyes narrowed dangerously. "Did someone give that to you?"
Annie scowled. "No. I told you, I found it on a park bench."
An intense silence occupied the room for another minute. Reiner glared at the small girl and then spoke in a low and maddening tone, "Liar."
"What?"
"Someone gave that to you!" Reiner shouted. "Who in the fuck would leave a winter coat behind in thirty degree weather? I'm not an idiot, Annie!"
She took a step back. "Why do you have to know? Just calm down, Reiner." She knew Reiner didn't like people, especially people with homes, but why was he so concerned with Armin's jacket?
And then she felt her heart stop when Reiner barks, "The whole world is your enemy. Don't trust anyone."
Her shocked expression made the tall blond's glare more intense, forcing her to feel like the size of a flea. Berthold shifted in his seat to look at his companions anxiously while Ymir watched with a huge grin on her face like she was watching a football game. Annie tried to replace her current expression to her usual cold stare but those unexpected words caught her off guard.
"Fuck off, you stupid bastard." Her insult spat from her lips like venom as she started marching back out the front door, not bothering to spare the two brunets a glance. Just as her fingers barely touched the rusted doorknob, Reiner's hand suddenly clamped down on her shoulder and roughly spun her around, making her face him.
"Where the fuck do you think you're go—" Annie's tight fist connected with Reiner's bulky nose. She could feel something break underneath her knuckles as well as the spray of blood and hearing the satisfying sound of a small crack come from his nose.
Annie whipped around and ran out of Three Walls, leaving Reiner grasping at his now broken and bloody nose while Berthold hurried over to his friend's side and Ymir laughed hysterically.
Annie swiftly pushed her arms through the sleeves of Armin's coat and began buttoning all the buttons as she kept on running, having absolutely no idea on where to run to. She threw on her white hood and continued moving against the frigid wind.
Hardly any stars shone in the blackened sky and for once the streets weren't flooded with large and impatient vehicles. The hopeless girl easily crossed the road; the sidewalks were just as clear and it made Annie wonder just how late it really was. Shops were closed, crickets were singing, drunks were out. And here she was, fitting in with the loneliness of it all.
She walked and walked and walked until she felt like she had walked the entire city. She tried thinking, she tried coming up with a plan, but nothing came to mind. What was she looking for? There was a nagging feeling in the depths of her brain, like she was forgetting something important. Like there was another option if she ended up lost again.
She stopped in that same alleyway, the one where she and Armin technically first met. Her eyes dragged over to the café on the other side of the street. It was dark, but a single light could be spotted from deep within the shop. She could make out two figures in the light; one was taller and had a high ponytail while the other was short and possessed a rather large head. They appeared as though they were talking—hands flying, gestures exaggerated. Their motions suddenly came to a stop and then they just stared at each other until the shorter one muttered something which sent the person with the ponytail throwing their head back in loud laughter.
Annie continued to watch the odd pair switch off the dim lighting and stroll out the front door, locking it behind them. Ponytail hung her arm around the Egghead's shoulders and they went on down the sidewalk, looking at their booted feet as they attempted to avoid stepping on any cracks in the pavement.
Annie found herself wanting this, yearning for someone to guide her through the deep cracks in life.
Over the next four weeks, Annie and Armin continued eating lunch together every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday by that same bench they first sat at. They never went inside somewhere, even when the temperature dropped and the winds picked up—all because Annie said no.
She still wasn't sure why she was so persistent on not going anywhere with Armin; he kept on saying how much his friends wanted to meet her which she found strange—no one ever got excited to see her. He also told her to keep his jacket as he continued giving her homemade meals every other day. Pretty soon his warm food was all that she was living off of.
She slept very little and when she did, it was often somewhere excluded like behind dumpsters or hidden among the shadows. She never did go back to Three Walls after the incident with Reiner and didn't intend to. In fact, she hadn't seen Reiner, Berthold, or Ymir since then. That, however, she intended to stay that way.
Annie also found herself actually enjoying Armin's company over time. Although she'd never admit out loud, she stared longer at his charming smile and listened intently to their conversations. He did the same thing to her—watch her every movement and always put his words on hold whenever she shared a rare comment.
There was just something about him, she supposed.
