Okay so I did not mean for this chapter to be so long. It has a nice refresher of what she is at the end of it. And this is important the sort of person she slowly turns into. Also, it's a little Hidan time for her

Sadly I am beginning to realize that there will be less romance in this story and a lot of angst and action. The ending will have plenty though so don't worry! And there will be tidbits here and there.


Present Day...

The pressure on my mind slowly faded and I was praying panting. Each breath I took hurt as if I was trying to breath in cold air after running around the village. I prayed to the lord that Ibiki would cease his search now; that he had enough and he wouldn't continue the torture.

"She purged her memories." Inoichi spoke to Ibiki. I was too busy gasping to give any input. Not that I would.

"Just now? What?" His eyes went to me. I could tell because mine were open, staring at him in return. That's right. I wanted him to remember that he was the one who taught me the skill.

"No. When she was captured by the Iwa nin, she purged her memories to protect Konoha and Suna." Inoichi looked back at me and I met his gaze as well. There was a sadness in them. My mind was still clear so I was aware that this was no hallucination.

"How can you tell?"

"Because she remembered."

"What?" Ibiki snapped his head from mine to Inoichi's.

"I don't know how… I'm eager to find that out myself." He turned back towards me and moved his hand to my forehead.

"No…" I mumbled, letting my voice grow slowly. "No… stop…"

Inoichi avoided eye contact and closed his eyes.

"NO! STOP! I'll do anything! I'm begging you! Don't make me relive it again! Please!"

My cries fell on deaf ears and I was shoved brutally back into the past. Inoichi was about to find out just who and what I was.


3 months earlier...

I had blisters on top of blisters on the bottom of my feet. I hadn't known that was possible until I started traveling with Hidan and Kakuzu. I complained a lot to them but I never actually hated it. It was better than the place I had been before. I got to see so many new things with them. We traveled to different places, fought people, and Hidan was training me to be like them.

He called what I had the White Power. It was the ability to make something out of nothing. I liked it because it was fun. My brother was still stronger and cooler than me, as brothers should be, but I could block his scythe every once in a while!

I loved my brother. Even though I was just getting to know him again after losing my memories, that much was apparent. It was the love for a family member and I wondered if I would feel this way for my parents when or if I met them. Hidan never talked about them though.

Not only did I love him, but I admired him. I wanted to be like him. To fight and move and talk and walk like him. He was my world. My savior. When I had been tortured on a daily basis he made the sky rain red with the blood of my attackers. That was why I would fight for him alone. Why I would die for him. Not that it was necessary. You couldn't kill Hidan. That was how cool he was!

"Ne... Oniisan?" I asked cheerfully. "What are we doing in the land of tea? It makes me want tea! White tea. The kind you got me before!"

"I only got you that tea because you were sick! Don't expect too much! Stupid bitch." He turned. He wasn't glaring though.

Hidan was… different. A little on the insane side, and he killed people way to easily… not to mention he did that weird ritual thing. The one thing I refused to do for him was convert. He'd stopped pushing it for the most part. But despite all of his crazy faults, he had good moments. He could feel the same emotions I could, they were just less common and he had to be around the right people.

"You still didn't answer me! Where are we going?" I whined.

Hidan shrugged, looking at Kakuzu. "Where are ya taking us?"

Kakuzu said nothing, not even bothering to respond.

"Eh! Oniisan! You should carry me!" I grabbed onto the back of his matching cloak and hung onto it.

"Ey! Knock it off! Why the hell did they let you into Akatsuki? It's supposed to be for strong people! Not wimps like you!"

I pouted. "Not my fault I have blisters on the bottom of my feet! Just carry me. You carried me at first!"

"That's cause ya couldn't walk!" He reminded me.

Kakuzu stopped walking and we stared at him. We were in a grassy field. Hidan and I tilted our head in unison confusion.

"We rest here for tonight." Kakuzu turned away.

I grinned and flopped back, laying down and staring up at the sky. The stars were already out and ablaze. "Finally! My poor feet!"

Hidan sat next to me. "Wimp."

"Bully."

"Bitch."

"Asshole."

"Whore."

"Slut."

"Cocksucker."

"Son of a b-"

"Enough!" Kakuzu raised his voice, hoarse and raspy as ever.

Though I was angry at how he cut me off I did as he wanted and went quiet. When Hidan laid down I scooted closer to him until I was laying with my shoulder against his. He didn't complain. It felt best to sleep near someone. I didn't know that was a new thing since I had amnesia or not. "Hey.. Oniisan?"

"Hmm?"

"How come you never tell me about mom and dad?" I said thoughtfully and quiet as to not disturb Kakuzu.

"Cause they ain't worth mentioning."

I blinked in surprise. "Eh? How can you say that about mom and dad Oniisan? It's disrespectful!"

Hidan rolled over, looking away. "You don't know what sort of assholes they were."

"Did you not get along with them?" I tried to guess. I didn't understand how someone could not like their parents. Then again, Kakuzu never mentioned his either.

"They liked me just fine. Not at first, but when I got older I was the fucking golden child."

"Then what's the problem?"

"They hated you."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I was silent for a few minutes. Hated me? "I don't understand… I mean what did I do wrong? You're joking right Oniisan?"

More silence flowed and made me feel uncomfortable. Hidan couldn't be serious. A parent hating their child was as hard to comprehend as a child hating their parents. It made no sense at all. When the silence went on for a few more minutes I finally nudged him. "Oniisan?" Patience wasn't my best quality. I think I got that from my brother.

"Cause we were both freaks. That's why they hated me at first. I was too cool for them. Always fighting and killin and everything else a Shinobi should do. Then when I got older that weak ass Kage found me as a useful tool. Suddenly I wasn't too bad of a kid. I broke the record for youngest Jonin and they thought I was amazing." Hidan explained a little, talking as though he was bored with the subject. His eyes were open and staring at the stars in one of the more serious expressions I had seen him hold. Not that it was saying much.

My head nodded. "They sound… a little power hungry."

His lips twitched up. "Ya got that right. Then you were born. Ya weren't like me, but ya had an odd amount of chakra. Like Kisame."

"oh…" I tilted my head thoughtfully. I had met the shark man once when I became a member of the Akatsuki. That had been less than two weeks ago so the memory was fresh in my mind. I liked him and his partner better than the other members. Itachi was a little weird though. He'd stared at me with familiar eyes. And I knew that made no sense considering I'd never met him before.

"I don't really understand Hidan. Shouldn't lots of chakra be good? Why wouldn't our parents be proud?" My lips twitched down thoughtfully. I also didn't understand why I didn't have the chakra I supposedly had as a child. Now it was at the level of Hidan's, perhaps a little lower.

"Well there was more." Hidan scratched his chin. "You had violent tendencies."

I looked at him for a second before cracking up in laughter. I only stopped when Kakuzu let out a growl. Even then the giggles continued. "You have got to be kidding. I know I'm not the most gentle person but violent? That's your job."

Hidan did not chuckle along with me. He didn't even smile. I let my face mold into a frown to match his. Kakuzu had taken us to collect a few bounties and while I would fight alongside the two of them, I usually left the killing to Hidan. I'd only step in when he got himself in a stupid position. Which had only happened once with a Jonin ninja from Sunagakure. The ninja trapped him in some puppet jutsu. It was also the only time I killed one of the bounties instead of just beating them up and letting Hidan use them. I just didn't enjoy ending lives. It was a nuisance and rather gross. More than that: I always found myself hesitating before the finishing blow. My body rebelled even if my mind was more than willing.

"I don't know why it happened, but ya changed after a certain event. For the first six years of your live though, ya just weren't normal."

I glared through the dark at him. "I don't want to hear that coming from you."

He did chuckle a little at that. "Yeah. But… damn. I don't know how to describe it."

"Try?"

"You didn't show emotions. Not to anyone but me. At first we just thought you were tougher than other kids when you didn't cry. When you never asked for help. And when you learned how to talk ya referred to our parents like they were strangers. I think we realized something was up when you were four." Hidan wasn't seeing me anymore. He was seeing a memory. "Well…"

Flashback

A young Hidan in a Chunnin vest held on tightly to a small girls hand. Her hair was the same grey as his and her eyes had a slight green hue. Nothing else made the toddler stick out, but for some reason the villagers around them stared.

"Hidan. The village is on a curfew with the war. You shouldn't be out so late." A Jonin appeared in front of Hidan, frowning. The little girl surely noticed him but paid no attention. Instead her curious eyes were on a nearby building. She watched with interest as a mom and dad held a tiny girls hand. Probably a family. There was something in her eyes Hidan couldn't identify. Similar to envy and hate, but overwhelmed with a lack of understanding.

"Eh? I still have another hour before then. Since ya'll aren't giving me any missions I've got to find some way to spend my time!"

The jonin rubbed the back of his head. "Hidan, the reason why you haven't received any missions for the past few days is because the feudal lords are still deciding on your rank."

Hidan sighed. " I don't care about some fucking rank! Just let me get out there and slaughter those Iwa bastards!"

"That attitude is probably why you haven't been promoted yet. You're too immature. It is too much to expect from a boy as young as you."

Those were words any idiot would know you didn't say to Hidan. Even at a young age he was formidable. "You wanna die cocksucker?" His hand was reaching back for his red scythe, eyes glazed over with bloodlust and excitement, when a small tug on his hand made him stop.

"Can we go to the training forest Onnichan?" She asked, her eyes looking at him with anticipation. Once more she completely ignored the other man. She was often like that. When around her brother no one else had her attention and no one else existed.

Instantly Hidan was back to normal. Everyone knew that his only weakness was his strange sister. The girl who had no emotions. His hand returned to his side and he tugged Calista away. The man who they had been talking to was forgotten; left to stand there dumbly.

The training grounds were close to the entrance of the gate. Calista enjoyed watching her brother spar with himself and the nearby trees. Her head would rest in her hands as she laid on her stomach and watched. To her the clang of Kunai was the sweetest melody.

Hidan stopped moving his scythe in his lovely dance, making Calista frown with confusion. She stood up, looking at Hidan. "Oniich-"

Before the sentence was completed a ninja dropped down from behind her, a kunai raised. "Interesting how low the defenses of the hot waters prized-"

He never finished his sentence. Hidan had disappeared only for a second, reappearing behind Calista. The little girl frowned, feeling something wet land on her face in drops. Her head turned when a thud hit the ground. Her brothers scythe had red liquid on it, and the Ninja who had been behind her was now on the ground with his head rolling away from his body and towards her. It stopped at her feet, looking up with glazed eyes.

She blinked. "That was fast Oniichan."

Hidan was frowning and coming down from his adrenaline rush. His little sister should be screaming and crying and freaking out that he had just killed someone in front of her. Like a normal 4 year old. He took a careful step towards her. "Calista-chan, are you Okay?"

She didn't answer in time. Four more ninja arrived on the scene, each breathing heavily. Hidan stiffened but soon recognized the ninja as their own. The squad leader stepped forward. "You took care of him already Hidan?"

"Hardly worth the effort." Calista's big brother made a 'tch' sound.

The leader nodded. "He's been giving us trouble, running away like a coward. Is your sister okay?"

The five of them turned to Calista. Hidan was wondering the same thing. "Ey, Calista-Chan?"

She didn't respond but bent down and intertwined her fingers in the hair of the decapitated head. It was just long enough for her to get a hold of. "Ne Oniichan… his eyes are open still." She cooed, lifting it up with effort and looking at the Iwa ninja. Her eyes studied his as if looking for something. The dead man had nothing to tell her though and she frowned.

The five exchanged looks, none of them knowing what to think. "It's probably just the shock." The leader said again. "Get her to bed and let it sink in."

Hidan didn't snap back like he normally would have. His attention and concern was solely for his little sister.

Flashback End

"I didn't understand what kind of four year old could of gone through that and been fine." Hidan finished.

My mouth wouldn't move. The first thought that came was lie. Hidan had to be making it up! The second was a feeling of truth. My brother could be an asshole but he wouldn't tell a story that cruel. Not if it wasn't true. My mouth unhinged. "But I don't get it Oniisan. I'm not like that anymore. What did I do that changed me? Was it when I was captured by those Iwa nin?"

This was when Hidan took a deep breath. "I'll explain it to you tomorrow. It's a long story."

I settled for that, even though I was on guard duty the rest of the night. Kakuzu offered to let me sleep a little but I adamantly refused. I couldn't sleep if I wanted to. Hidan's words of who I used to be weighing on my mind.

He kept his promise. The next day Hidan explained everything to me as we walked through the fog to our destination. "We were losing the war against Iwa and our pussy of a Kage was cornered. They did some messed up experiments on how to get the better hand. I don't even know what exactly went on. But one day they came to our house and said they needed you. I overheard the whole thing. Our 'parents' didn't even protest when they said they had to have a body to create a weapon and that you were the only one with the chakra to handle it. You were six for crying out loud. They dragged you away."

"W-what did they do to me?"

"I ain't sure. Rumor has it they tried to create a new type of chakra. A new Kekkei Genkai so to speak. The one I'm trying to work on with you. They needed to force a lot of chakra into a body to handle it. And that required sacrifices of more people than even I could play with." He grinned momentarily before glaring at the road ahead of us. "That was the White power I told ya about. I tried to get to ya. They kept you underground and the shinobi that guarded ya were the towns best. Nobody was allowed in. But I tried ya know. Once I heard yer screaming I couldn't hold back. You were in pain.

"That went on for a while. Terrible sounds. For a while I didn't even know it was you. Sounded like a battle between animals and shinobi were going on. Something it would be roaring, other times a females voice, and other times a howl. It always changed. And it wasn't till they reached the climax of the battle that I realized it was you. They gave up on taming ya and released you against the enemy. You against an army. I watched it happen. And I knew it was you. How could a brother not know his own sister?" He took a deep breath and looked at me. I was too entranced to interrupt or say anything.

"Your shape kept changing. From animal to human. But the weirdest thing was how it wasn't a complete shape like… ah how do I describe this. Your leg would be a tentacle and the rest of your body would be humanoid. And then your hair would change color and then your torso. It was always changing. No part of ya remained the same for more than a few seconds. And before ya stuff materialized. Weapons and walls and animals. Creatures not found in this world thank god.

"You did what we wanted though. You destroyed the Iwa Nin. The village wanted them to kill you in the process but it failed. You turned on us, destroyed the village. Like a Tailed beast. That was when our Kage came out. He fought you, or so the story goes. Sealed ya into a sleeping state and had them carry you off. It was top secret where you went.

"I waited for ya. I knew you'd awaken some day. The village turned into a tourist one but I was pissed at them for what they did, taking my sister like that. So I punished em and left. When I found ya again you looked different, but I knew who you were. It's also why I think ya changed. That chaotic creature took all the dark you were born with out and left ya as innocent as could be when it was done. " Hidan finished his monologue.

There was no moisture on my mouth. Certainly not enough to speak. My footsteps slowed to a stop and Kakuzu and Hidan looked back. For once Kakuzu did not snap at me but waited. You couldn't see my face because I was looking down. After a moment when I raised my eyes to meet them they had a hardness in them not seen for half a century. "Why would they do that? To me? What did I do wrong to make me a toy for experimentation? And then when I didn't turn out good enough they just decided to off me?"

Hidan had an angry look on his face, but it was directed at his old village and not me. "Yeah. That's how the Shinobi are. They use ya and then throw you away."

"They throw you away… even though they create you that way." My fists shook at the injustice of it. It wasn't right. Who gave these messed up villages those rights? Who were they to decide one being was above another? "It's sick."

My brother stepped back towards me and rested a hand on my shoulder. "Ya know, I could show you what yer meant to be. Teach you to take advantage of what they tried to destroy you for. Teach you to be what you're meant to. With no one to try and destroy you for it."

The temptation was sweet. It was like spitting in the face of the man who died trying to destroy me. In that state of raw anger I nodded my head. "I'd like that." The hidden villages were something I felt neutral to before now. The truth had come out though. They were perverse hypocrites. Trying to preach to the rest of the world good will while they stabbed their own members in the back. Kakuzu had a similar story. I didn't believe it until now, that he was imprisoned just for failing a mission. It was just… sick.

"I want that power…" I smiled a little, looking into the eyes of my Oniichan.

"There's my sister." He grinned back. "Let's get started."