Act I Scene VI
(Pinkie Pie, Spike, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo enter. Pinkie Pie is changed into a dryer dress.)
Pinkie Pie: This old thing is soaked! It sure is nice to be in some dry clothes.
(Applejack enters)
Applejack: Your majesty, the king has asked to meet the young lady.
Spike: Well that's weird. He never asks that.
Applejack: He heard that she swam the moat.
Pinkie Pie: Dauntless, is your father anything like your mother? Because if he is—
Spike: No, my father's silent and—
Pinkie Pie: Never mind! I would love to meet him!
(Big Mac enters)
Spike: Hi, papa. This is Princess Winifred.
(Big Mac bows)
Applejack: Your highness, the king welcomes you. And he wishes that you pass the test tomorrow.
Pinkie Pie: Aww, well thanks.
(She giggles and Big Mac puts his crown to his heart.)
Spike: The king never touches his crown to his heart unless he really means it.
Applejack: Alas, the king is mute; or he would speak for himself. He's under a curse cast by a witch long ago before Prince Dauntless was born. The curse reads "the king will never talk until the mouse devours the hawk."
Pinkie Pie: Until the mouse devours the hawk? Well couldn't you just get a big mouse and a little hawk?
Spike: We tried that before, but the mouse ran away and the hawk bit daddy in the butt.
(Big Mac tries to show Pinkie Pie the scar, but Pinkie Pie stops him)
Pinkie Pie: Oh! Well… lemme get this test under my belt first and then we'll figure something out. Don't you worry. It certainly has been a pleasure meeting his majesty, but a short while ago; I had the "pleasure" of meeting her majesty. (To Spike) Now THAT is a nice man!
Applejack: Your majesty, I think it's about time to have that talk with Dauntless now.
Spike: Talk? About what?
Applejack: Your father feels that he's been neglecting his duties. And now that you're old enough to get married, he thinks that you both need to have a little talk, y'know, man-to-man?
Spike: You mean about… things? Right now?
(Big Mac tries to stop Applejack from saying anything else)
Applejack: Well, your majesty thinks it's better to wait till later. There are still some facts he needs to look up first.
(She and Big Mac exit)
Pinkie Pie: Dauntless, I certainly do like… almost both of your parents.
Spike: Well, we want you to be happy here. We know that it's not quite like what you're used to.
Pinkie Pie: Well it is a little hard making the adjustment to dry land and all. (the Cutie Mark Crusaders giggle) But I do! You see, where I come from, we don't have any dry land. Well, some of the poorer people do, but the nobility all live right in the swamps with their servants and pets.
Spike: Do you have any pets?
Pinkie Pie: Yes, lots!
Spike: Dogs?
Pinkie Pie: Frogs.
I come from the land of the foggy, foggy dew
Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
Where walking through the meadow in the morning
Is like walking through
Pinkie Pie, CMC's: Glue
Pinkie Pie: The swamps of home are brushed with green and gold
At break of day
Cutie Mark Crusaders: At break of day
Pinkie Pie: The swamps of home are lovely to behold
From far away
Cutie Mark Crusaders: From far away
Pinkie Pie: In my soul is the beauty of the bog
In my memory's the magic of the mud
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Mu-u-ud
Pinkie Pie: I know that blood is thicker than water
But the swamps of home are thicker than blood
Spike: Blo-o-od
Pinkie Pie: Where e'er I roam, my heart grows dank and cold
My face grows grey
When shadows fall and I hear the call…
Of the swamps of home
I hear them calling me now, calling me back
Calling me, "Winifred! Winifred! Winifred! Winifred!
Who do you think you are?
Girl of the swamp, you've gone too far!
Maid of the marshland, give up the struggle!"
Listen to the voice of the swamps,
Gluggle-uggle-uggle
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Gluggle-uggle-uggle
Pinkie Pie: Where e'er I roam, the whips of fate may smart
But deep down in my heart
One though would abide, and will ne'er be forgotten
Though I search far and wide, there is no land as rotten
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Rotten, rotten, rotten, rotten, rotten, rotten, rotten, rotten, rotten
Pinkie Pie: As the swamps of home
Spike, CMC's: The swamps of home
Pinkie Pie: Dauntless, I have to change now.
Spike: You do? Alright.
(He doesn't leave)
Pinkie Pie: Dauntless, you know that it's bad luck to see too much of the bride before the wedding.
Spike: Oh!
(He runs off.)
Apple Bloom: Your highness, would you like to see your dresses now?
Pinkie Pie: Yes!
(Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo look for some dresses for Pinkie Pie until they find a flashy, hot-pink dress.)
Sweetie Belle: This dress is so you! (Laughs uncomfortably) Don't you think so, Lady Scootaloo?
Scootaloo: It's stunning!
(Pinkie Pie just stares blankly)
Apple Bloom: Would you like to see another?
Sweetie Belle: Do you have a favorite color?
Pinkie Pie: Well, back home we wear a lot of dark-green and earth-brown, I guess my favorite color would have to be the color of my other dress; huckleberry-pink. (Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo look at each other in disgust) I'll tell you what; why don't you leave the dresses here and the ones I can't use I'll send back.
Scootaloo: Very well, your highness. Ladies?
(She, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle throw the dresses on Pinkie Pie and exit. She puts the dresses down and accidently breaks a vase that's filled with water. She gets a cloth to wipe the spill. A knock is heard on the door.)
Pinkie Pie: Come in!
(Fluttershy and Rarity enter and see Pinkie Pie cleaning up.)
Fluttershy: I guess I won't need you, Emily. They already sent a girl to do the floor. (Rarity exits) Hello, you must be new here.
Pinkie Pie: Yes!
Fluttershy: Just remember, your job is just as important as everyone else's. (In her own world) Oh, dear Princess Winifred, you will pass the queen's test! You will! (To Pinkie Pie) Goodness, you can't clean this floor with such a tiny patch; you need a nice wet rag. (She throws a rag to Pinkie Pie) Oh, what a mess! What will the gentle princess think of me? Do you know what it means to be a lady-in-waiting to the dear Princess Winifred? (In her own world again) Oh, Winifred, Winifred, what a name sweeter than that? (She notices that the table is wet. She overreacts) Look at the table! It's dripping! It's dripping! I'll use this! (She grabs Pinkie Pie's other dress and uses it to clean the spill) Oh, what will the princess think of me? (A knock is heard on the door) Get that!
Pinkie Pie: Alright. (She gets the door, Rainbow Dash enters) Harry!
Rainbow Dash: Your highness.
Fluttershy: Your WHAT?!
Pinkie Pie: You don't have to go through all that with me. I have to say I'm sorry about earlier today. I hope that the whole swimming the moat thing didn't leave a bad first impression.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, not at all, your highness. If you just give your wet dress to one of the ladies-in-waiting, I'm sure that it would be taken care of.
Pinkie Pie: It's… already been taken care of.
Rainbow Dash: Well I see that you met my dear Lady Larken.
Pinkie Pie: So this is the little Larken girl.
Rainbow Dash: Yes, she is.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, well, Harry, she's beautiful… and a bundle of energy.
Rainbow Dash: When I gaze upon that captivating face, I realize how poor my description must've been.
Fluttershy: Sir Harry is not very good at describing people, your highness.
Pinkie Pie: Well, he may not know how to describe 'em, but he sure knows how to pick 'em! (She jokingly punches Rainbow Dash in the arm) Now, if you excuse me, I have to get these dresses back to the fourth floor.
(She grabs the dresses and exits)
Fluttershy: I've never been so humiliated in my life!
Rainbow Dash: What's the matter?
Fluttershy: I thought she was a chambermaid!
Rainbow Dash: (Gasps) Larken! How could you think the princess was a chambermaid?
Fluttershy: How could I? How could you mistake that chambermaid for a princess?
Rainbow Dash: Don't just say that because you made a stupid mistake.
Fluttershy: I made a mistake?! Don't you DARE try to blame this on me!
Rainbow Dash: I DO blame it on you!
Fluttershy: She was on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor!
Rainbow Dash: She was a LADY, wherever she's from, and that's more than I could say for… (She gives Fluttershy and annoyed look) some people around here.
Fluttershy: (Gasps) I HATE YOU!
Rainbow Dash: I HATE YOU MORE!
Fluttershy: GET OUT!
Rainbow Dash: DON'T WORRY, I'M LEAVING!
Fluttershy: FINE!
Rainbow Dash: FINE!
Fluttershy: GOOD!
Rainbow Dash: GOOD!
