Chapter 7
"Dad?" Zuko asked, shocked. Katara's eyes widened at his words.
"Yes, it's me." Ozai answered impatiently.
"What- Why-" Zuko stumbled, "Why'd you call?" A scoff from the other end of the line.
"Merely to keep you updated, Zuko." His father drawled, making Zuko's teeth clench. "As your father, that is my duty."
"What am I unaware of?" Zuko snarled, almost ferociously. He heard the familiar tone of his father's voice, the tone that meant to torture and devastate.
"Perhaps I shouldn't tell you," Ozai pondered mockingly, "I'm not certain you could stomach the information, you always were a weak child."
"Stop playing games!" Zuko commanded, almost at his boiling point, he was getting worried. His breaths came out in ragged gasps and he clenched his fist nervously. But nothing prepared him for his father's next words.
"Your mother is dead."
For a moment, Zuko said absolutely nothing; it took long enough for his mind to actually comprehend what his father his had said. Katara placed a hand on his arm and looked at him with a questioning gaze, he attempted a reassuring smile then turned his attention back to the call he was on.
"That's not true." Zuko finally replied. "What are you playing at?" Ozai chuckled.
"I knew you wouldn't believe me." He said casually, as if he Zuko believed that it was twenty degrees outside when Ozai had told him it was in fact twenty-five. "No matter." Ozai continued. "Simply go into the nearest convenience store and look at the front page of any newspaper. You'll find that I was telling the tru-" Zuko hung up on him and started to running to find a convenience store.
"Zuko?" Katara called. "Zuko!"
Zuko kept running. Nothing mattered; nothing mattered more at that moment than finding a newspaper. His mother wasn't dead, she couldn't be, his father was just trying to scare him, playing mind games with him. His mother couldn't possibly be dead…
Soon he was out of school, still running until finally, he was standing right in front of a little corner shop. As he went to open the door, he noticed Katara's reflection it. She'd followed him. She didn't say anything, just simply looked back at him solemnly. They entered the shop and Zuko leapt anxiously at the closest newspaper. Without thinking he exited the store and heard the shopkeeper begin to protest until Katara offered to pay and he heard them argue about whether she should pay or not.
Once Zuko was outside, he took a look at the front page. It read:
16 DEAD IN BUS CRASH
Continued on page 5
Zuko's hands shook violently as he turned the pages. Finally, he read the story:
Sixteen people died yesterday in a crash of a public bus, when the driver was allegedly drunk.
Yesterday at 8:21 pm, in Second Valley, Adelaide, twenty-eight passengers were on a bus that crashed due to a drunk driver. The bus driver, Arnold Cooks, became noticeably drunk when he began slurring his words at passengers. He was urged to pull over by several of them, who feared for their safety due to Cooks driving under the influence of alcohol
The crash was catalysed when one of the passengers approached Cooks to disengage him from the wheel and stop the vehicle. This caused Cooks to violently yank the wheel, causing the bus to hurtle abruptly into other cars and roll over multiple times. Upon investigation, police were able to confirm that sixteen people, including Cooks, died in the wreckage, leaving the remaining eight passengers severely injured.
Chief of police, Christopher Jenkins-
Zuko stopped reading, scowling. This was just another news story, nothing to do with his mother, it was a horrible accident, but he couldn't stop his relief. There was nothing specifically about his mother in here, as Ozai had implied. She was safe. He was about to squash the newspaper and throw it into the rubbish bin until he saw a list at the end of the bus crash story:
May the following rest in peace: James McCormick
Esther Lombardi
Brian Collins
Sin Yu Ten
Raaj Dakshesh
Aadita Dakshesh
Elizabeth Montgomery
Ursa Murakami
Zuko stopped reading.
Ursa Murakami.
Ursa Murakami.
Ursa.
URSA.
His mother.
His mother was dead.
No. No it couldn't be, no, no, no, no it was a mistake. Yes, Murakami was her last name and yes she lived in Second Valley, Adelaide. But surely there were other Ursa's? It couldn't be his mother. But no, beside each name, was their picture, and smiling serenely back at him, next to her name was his mother's face.
The newspaper dropped from his hands as Zuko staggered numbly to his knees. Dead, she was dead. At that moment, he heard the shop door open.
"Zuko?" Katara said, his back was to her, and Zuko clamped his eyes shut. He didn't want to talk to her. She came around to face him, looking down at him as he buried his face in his hands on the floor.
"Zuko, what's wrong! What did your father tell you?" She persisted. Zuko remained silent, everything was numb and nothing existed except for the fact that his mother was gone. Finally, Katara appeared to have spotted the newspaper lying abandoned beside him. She picked it up, reading the news story but Zuko knew she wouldn't understand, she didn't know his mother's name.
"Zuko what is it?" Katara asked urgently, after she finished reading. "Do you know any of these people?"
"Ursa." Zuko croaked out, his voice breaking with emotion. Katara took another look at the story, reading the list of names and the pictures beside them. Zuko watched as her eyes landed on Ursa's picture. Katara's eyes widened.
"No! Is she… is she your...?" She struggled.
"She's my mother," Zuko said, his voice dead. "And she's dead." There was a silence between them, and nothing could describe the powerful tension in the air, filled with ninety-nine different emotions.
"Zuko," she started, her own voice breaking, "I'm so sorr-"
"I don't want to hear it." Zuko suddenly snapped at her, jumping to his feet to tower over her.
"I know what you're feeling," she persevered, "I know you feel like you need time alone-"
"That's exactly what I need!" He yelled "So give it to me! I don't want to hear this! Your words of 'comfort' aren't going to make me feel better. My mother is dead. She's dead, Katara! And nothing you say is going to change that."
And to his horror, he started crying. He crumpled to the ground, covered his face and burst into loud, noisy tears right then and there in front of a convenience store and in front of Katara.
His heart ached with despair and he felt like he would never be happy again. But Zuko realised that he wasn't ever really happy, his father had shunned him, his best friend had turned against him, his mum had left, and when things had finally started getting better his mother had to die. He didn't feel like he would never be happy again, no. He felt like this pain would never stop.
He suddenly felt arms around him. Katara. She determinedly held him to her, but it didn't matter because nothing could change this, nothing could bring back his mother. He tried to push her off, to make her realise that she wasn't helping, but she refused to let go and before he knew it, he was confiding in her, as his voice broke with sobs and tears ran down his face.
"I never even had the chance to say goodbye, not even the chance to see her. I always thought I had more time, that one day I would find her and make everything okay, but now she's dead!" He babbled as he leaned into her, giving into her. "And my father, he doesn't even care, you should've heard him over the phone! He sounded almost excited, he wanted to hurt me.
"What's the point, Katara? What's the point anymore? Everything is getting worse; nothing is getting better for me. I wouldn't be surprised if Uncle decided he had enough of me or if you and everyone else decided you didn't want to know me anymore. I don't want to deal with it anymore, I don't want to know anyone so I can't be hurt by them."
Katara tightened her arms around him as he continued to sob. She paced a hand on his cheek and turned his face towards her and Zuko was surprised to see that she was crying as well.
"Stop." She said fiercely, her voice thick with sorrow. "You can't think that way Zuko. No matter what happens, no matter how bad things get, you can't think that way! When these things happen, the worst thing you can do is shut out everyone who cares for you, isolate yourself. The people who care about you, they're the ones who can help you heal, and you need to let them. I learnt that the hard way.
"I know you feel hopeless and miserable right now, I know you'll miss your mother and feel her absence from the world everyday, I know that you feel alone and you feel safer when you are, but you have to listen to me. I care about you! Sokka cares about you, Toph cares about you, Aang cares about you and your Uncle cares about you! And no matter what happens, we're always going to be there to help you.
"I know we can't bring your mother back or make it less painful right now, but we can help you through it and that is what every single one of us will do. But you have to promise me that you'll let us, that you won't shut us out."
Zuko looked up at her face. Her eyes were swirling with emotion and her features were screwed up in passionate determination. Thinking about her, about Sokka, Toph, Aang and his Uncle, he realised he didn't want to shut them out. He knew it was the safer option, maybe even the easier one, he wouldn't have to deal with anyone ever again, never have to get hurt. But imagining a world without the people he loved made his heart thump in panic. He would live in a bleak world of emptiness and nothingness.
"Promise?" Katara inquired. Zuko held her eyes for another moment, before slumping in her arms, needing her warmth, her attention and her support. He continued to cry, but silently now, knowing that at this time, if she left him alone, he wouldn't be able to cope or deal with the loss of his mother.
"I promise." He said quietly, truly meaning his worlds. Katara kissed his forehead tenderly in return.
So there sat Zuko and Katara. Him with his eyes closed now, resting against her and her holding him, both physically and mentally.
There sat both of them, mourning in front of a convenience store.
