October 10th

Dear Alex,

I've gotten and read all your letters, multiple times, in fact. I'm so sorry for not writing sooner, but I wanted to wait and... well, I just wanted to wait for a certain reason before writing you back and now I have. I'm okay. Everything here is okay and I actually have good news. I wish I could tell you what I've been up to for the past few months, but I can't. Confidential and all that, you know? I promise to tell you as much as I can when we're face to face, though. I could never keep anything from you. But before I share the good news, your series of letters.

What happened? Are you okay? Nikita? Michael? Ryan? I know you and you sounded distressed in those letters and I know you don't get distressed easily or without good reason. I wish I could hold you, wrap my arms around you and comfort you. You've no idea just how much I wish I could feel your body against mine. Whatever's going on Alex, everything will turn out okay. It may seem dark now, but there's always a solution somewhere. A remedy. You just have to hang in there until I'm home. Once I'm back, I'll do whatever I can to help you. As long as I'm around, you'll never be alone, babe. We've been through a lot, the two of us. A lot more than most people. You know I will always have your back. Never, ever doubt that, okay? You're my girl, I love you.

The good news I have to share is that I'll be coming home. Very soon. I'll be arriving in Virginia next week and then I'll catch a flight to you. You just need to be there at the right time. I'm including my schedule so you know where to go. I can't wait to see you. And I promise, as soon as we're settled in we'll talk for however long about whatever you want. I'd talk about anything just to hear your voice. 'm ashamed to say that the sound of your voice has almost faded from my memory.

See you soon.

Love, Sean.

October 17th

Dear Sean,

I'm so relieved to receive a letter, to know that you're okay. I've been expecting to get a call or letter informing me of your death, so when I saw this envelope and saw your familiar handwriting, I fell to my knees. I don't understand why you didn't write me sooner, but I'm willing to wait and here you're reasons. I trust you to tell me, be honest with me.

I'm a bit better since I last wrote you. Michael's been helping, and so have Ryan, Sonya and Birkhoff. There's – there's a lot you need to know. About Division, about Nikita and Owen. About me. Even about Amanda. Telling you here in this letter would be easier for me, but it wouldn't be fair to you and I don't want to give you extra concerns when you're close to coming home, so I'm going to wait and tell you everything face to face.

I've come to realize in your absence that I have a tendency to keep my feelings bottled inside, even suppress them and ignore them until they're so deeply festered inside me that they turn to poison, coursing through my veins and turning everything I feel into bitterness. I need to be more open and I need to be more open with you. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. And I know that you'll always have my back. We have been through a lot and we have managed to survive. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you and it hurts to think about it. I don't want to think about it. I need you. I'll always need you.

I've read over your schedule and the instructions and everything is already planned. I'll be there. I can't wait to see you, I really can't. I've got your back.

Love, Alex