WARNING TO ALL OWNERS OF WHEEL OF TIME© UNITS:
SIGHTINGS OF FORSAKEN UNITS ON THE LOOSE HAVE BEEN REPORTED IN THE AREAS OF CHICAGO, NEW YORK, SEATTLE, SAN FRANCISCO, AND CLARENCE. IF YOU SEE ANYTHING RESEMBLING ONE OF THE ENCLOSED PHOTOGRAPHS, IMMEDIATELY LOCK YOURSELF, SMALL ANIMALS, CHILDREN, AND ALL UNITS INDOORS AND CLOSE ALL WINDOWS/BLINDS. THESE UNITS ARE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, VOLATILE, AND UNPREDICTABLE. IF YOU SUSPECT THAT YOU HAVE BEEN SENT A FORSAKEN© UNIT BY MISTAKE, IMMEDIATELY DISABLE YOUR UNIT AND CALL OUR FORSAKEN HOTLINE LISTED BELOW. UNITS KNOWN TO BE ON THE LOOSE ARE:
LANFEAR/CYNDANE (ext. LANF)
MORIDIN (ext. MAD)
GRAENDAL (ext. GDAL)
MESAANA (ext. WTOW)
SEMIRHAGE (ext. PAIN)
DEMANDRED (ext. TAIM)1
ARAN'GAR/BALTHAMEL (ext. LUST)
ALSO: These units are now OFF THE LINE, i.e. NO LONGER PRODUCED. Please stop trying to order them! Thank you for your cooperation.
HOTLINES:
1-800-FORS-DISP + ext.
1 – Yes, I know that he's not actually. Probably. Taim. But still. They are, like THE SAME. It's weird. But whatev.
