EPOV
"Oh, Edward it's not good..", I could almost feel my sister's sadness through the phone.
"What is it?", I asked though I already had an idea what it might be.
"She was hurt,... so badly...how could anyone be so cruel to her?" Alice cried. So my assumption about Bella having a bad past was true.
"I can't tell you what it is...I promised her I won't tell anyone", she said. Again I had expected this too. In fact I was surprised she had opened up to Alice. Isabella was the kind of person who held her secrets close and put on an act for others.
"Where is she now?", I asked.
"Sleeping. In her room", Alice replied. I could hear Alice's nervous fluttering even through the phone.
"Do you have something else to say?", I asked her.
"I...she cuts Edward. I mean she used to cut, she promised she had stopped it an year ago but then I saw a razor in her hand today when she opened her room, I know she was about to cut, if I had been a bit late...she", Alice was gasping.
Damn. This hit too close to home. "Alice calm down. Please..." I tried to sooth her, but I have never been good with words.
"I-I it was almost like mom..I, what if I had been late and I had found her on the floor bleeding out just like mom? What if I can't help Bella either and she also goes away like mom?" Alice was sobbing.
"Alice, our mom suffered from severe depression. And as far as I know, her situvation is not at all similar to our mom. For one thing she doesn't have a philandering husband who shoves his various mistresses in her face", I couldn't help the venom in my voice I thought of the man who I had the misfortune of calling my father.
Alice was quiet. "Edward...you keep getting mad at dad for his deeds. You left home, your studies, your career and practically everything because of your hatred of him. But I am scared Edward. Every time I see you now, I am scared you are tuning more into him."
"What! What do you mean? I am not him!", I shouted through the phone. Bewildered at the complete turn in the conversation.
"How dare you compare me to that sleazy excuse for a human." I spat.
"Well, you say that he thinks of women as a commodity and as just a way to get off, but aren't you doing the same? Basically, you also get a different woman every night and then once the novelty wears off you dump them without a second glance. I am not accusing you..Edward. I just don't want to lose my brother. I don't want you to become another Carlisle Cullen", she whispered before she cut the call.
Alice's words hit home. No, No...No. I am not him. I don't treat women like that. I never promise them anything, they always know what they are getting from me. I always make my intentions clear. As if that makes what you do any better.
I thought of mom. Her face as my father walked around with his conquests in front of her. He had even bought them home, gloating it...I remembered how she had changed from the woman with the beautiful smile and wonderful hugs to an almost ghost. She had died long before the night she did physically. It was all his fault. She had loved him so much and he had thrown that love back in her face.
Fuck...she was right. I was becoming like him. I had been too wrapped up in my pain at losing mom and hatred towards my father that I didn't even notice that I was doing exactly what my father always did. Using women as a distraction, a way to keep your mind of things.
No, I won't become my father's son. Never in a million years. I swore then and there that I would never again take that path. I didn't want to be like him. I wanted to be a good brother. Someone whom Alice could be proud off. She is all I had left in this world and I didn't want her to be scared of me. Alice...I haven't heard her this scared and sad since she found mom's body in her bedroom three years ago.
Isabella...no Bella. It suited her. What had happened to her? Who had hurt her? I thought of her petite form, so small in my arms. Who would want to hurt something so beautiful and fragile.
She cuts. I remembered the numerous bracelets she adorned. I should have known. After all that I had seen mom do to herself, I should have known.
I imagined Bella's small form huddled in a corner, tears streaming down her beautiful brown eyes, cutting her skin just so that the physical pain would override the emotional one. I imagined the droplets of blood which would be oozing from her pores and I wanted to murder the bastard who hurt her that bad.
I couldn't get the image out of my mind. I tried to forget it, but nothing was working. I tried to imagine a face of her smiling instead, just to realize that I have never seen her smile. Not a genuine one at least.
I got up from my bed, feeling even more restless at that thought. I needed some fresh air. Maybe I will go for a ride. A ride always calms me down.
No, I wasn't going to check on her. I am not a stalker and I am not obsessing over her. If I do end up in her street later tonight, that would just be a coincidence. I am not getting involved in the story of Bella Swan. I had enough on my plate as it was.
Fuck who was I kidding...I was already involved.
