Chapter 7: It's my Funeral

A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. Smooches to the usual suspects Gabbysway2 and CorrinaT for being my cheerleaders.

I have to say a huge thank you to Boydblog just because she's awesome and agreed to be my beta and whip this baby into shape. I would also like to thank Edwardsisobel for pre-reading & offering her feedback. Those two helped me refine it, but I may have broken it again, so any errors below are on me.

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Edward and I spent the rest of the morning roaming around the forests near Forks. His ability to read minds, as well as our supernatural hearing, came in handy to ensure we didn't encounter any humans. We alternated between running and walking, we didn't have to discuss it; we just knew when the other wanted to increase or decrease speed. Neither of us could stop smiling. It was almost as if the past two weeks had never happened; except I was a vampire just like Edward.

I was so content just being close to Edward, that it took me a while to notice that he was herding me somewhere. It wasn't until I paid closer attention to our course that I realised he was subtly, but noticeably, changing directions every few miles. I didn't ask where he was leading me, because I honestly didn't care, I was simply happy to be back by his side, happier than I ever thought I could be. I had suspicions about our ultimate destination, but couldn't be completely sure. Eventually, I noticed a wide clearing of light in the forest before me, and realised that the trees around me were familiar. I smiled to myself when I realised I was right, he was leading me to our meadow.

He led me into the middle of the familiar place, clasping my hand lightly and smiling at me. I grinned at him, when he slowly pulled me to him and held me for a moment before his hands moved to caress my face gently. I closed my eyes to fully absorb the sensation; it felt as if he wasn't just touching me, but reaching into my skin and stroking each cell individually. Every nerve-ending responded to him with the same fervour, igniting and sending signals to the rest of my body. The touch of his fingertips ran deep under my skin and sank all the way to by bones. New fires that had nothing to do with my thirst, ignited within me and I longed to touch him in return. I needed to kiss him urgently. As if he were somehow able to read my thoughts, or perhaps he was just reading my face again, he touched his lips to mine ever so lightly. I pushed against him harder, longing for him to kiss me with the same reckless abandon he had earlier.

In response to my obvious desire, his lips pressed more firmly against me. I parted my own lips in response. Slowly, gingerly, his tongue pushed forward and trailed across my bottom lip. I groaned softly at the feather-light touch, loving the sensation but longing for more. Edward's lips and tongue continued their unhurried exploration of my mouth. We tasted each other's scent with each unsteady breath, relishing the new flavour of each other. I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling my body closer to his until there was no space between us. Our lips continued to move of their own accord as our hands began their own exploration.

The afternoon felt so similar to the first time we'd come to the meadow, except this time we both sparkled in the pale sunlight and neither of us needed to be afraid anymore. I grinned against Edward's mouth at the thought. I was so content that if the world stopped and nothing ever changed again I wouldn't have minded.

We spent the better part of the afternoon together in the meadow. It was amazing how everything between Edward and I felt so natural and so right so soon after rediscovering each other. I had expected there to be lingering issues, but there was no anger or wounds. Now that I knew he had never stopped loving me, his leaving made sense for entirely different reasons. He always worried that he was bringing danger into my world. That his own brother could have been that very danger had been too much for him to cope with. The guilt of being responsible for my heart stopping, one way or the other, was too much for him. He honestly believed the best thing was for me, and for my soul, was for him to leave. I could easily argue against the decision, but never the motives.

We hunted again before the light had completely faded from the sky. Neither of us really needed to, but Edward wanted to ensure I stayed glutted while we were still close to humanity. After the first bear we found ripped huge gashes in my jeans, Edward showed me how to overpower them before they could become defensive. I knew he had so much to teach me, knowledge he had gathered over the years, and I couldn't wait. We had forever to look forward to.

At nightfall, we headed back to his old house. When we arrived, I was shocked to see how quickly nature had reclaimed the once perfectly manicured and smooth driveway and garden. The trees were already beginning to sneak closer to the house and the grass was almost up to my knees. But the white house stood gleaming in the centre of it all. It felt like something out of a fairytale, when the heroine stumbles across a perfect house in the middle of an enchanted forest.

I stopped to marvel at the sight, but Edward kept moving. He stopped when he reached the top step before stooping to grab a small parcel. He laughed as he slipped the tiny box into his pocket.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Nothing." He chuckled. "It's just Alice's idea of a joke."

"Alice?" I was confused.

"Yeah, I guess she saw you finding me."

"What is it then?"

He shook his head and smiled at me. "Later."

"You keep saying that!" I exclaimed, exasperated. "But when is later?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Later is…when the time is right. The time is not right just yet. We need to get out of Forks first."

I shook my head fiercely. I wasn't ready to leave Forks just yet.

"What?" He asked with a laugh. "Don't tell me you are planning on an extended visit?"

I looked at him sheepishly. "I want to stay for my memorial."

He stilled, his face registering shock over my statement. He shook his head, a faint smile still on his lips. "That's a little morbid, Bella."

I stared impassively at him, hoping that he would understand what I wanted, and why I wanted it.

I saw him shiver as he realised I was deadly serious. "I don't think I can stay for that," he whispered apologetically. "Even though I know you are safe now. Even though I would have you in my arms the whole time, I don't know if I could stand hearing a eulogy." He shivered again.

"I want to see whether Renee and Charlie are coping. I want to make sure they are alright. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. I want that opportunity, even if it's from a distance and they don't know that I'm there."

Edward nodded his head. "If you're certain, then I support you. I'll come with you, if you like." He was leaving it as my decision.

"I...I don't know." On one hand, I never wanted to let go of Edward again and I knew his support would help me through one of the most difficult things I had to do, but he had only just finished explaining how hard it would be for him.

"You don't need to decide right now," he said, pushing the front door of our temporary home open.

The house was completely different to how I remembered it. It no longer felt welcoming or like the home it had been when Esme tended to it. Instead, dust covers lay over the large pieces of furniture and all the small personal items were gone. Without the personalities of the people—vampires—who had lived in it, the house felt vacant and empty. It was hard to believe that it had been a little more than a month since my fateful birthday party. I was startled to realise I could still detect the faint traces of where I had bled at my birthday party. It was masked by the smell of bleach and dulled by the passage of time but it was still there. I wondered how long it would take to dissipate or whether it would have gone by now if the Cullens still lived here and other scents mixed into it.

I must have been wearing a look of disgust because Edward turned to me. "We don't have to stay here if you don't want to. I just thought you might like to have a shower and some vestiges of civility."

"No, it's fine," I said, working on arranging my features into a more neutral expression. "I just noticed the scent of my blood. It…well, it must have been very strong that night."

He nodded. "Very. It was a bad situation for you to be in, the worst. I'm sorry I ever allowed that to happen."

I grunted at him in frustration. "That is it! I don't want to hear you apologise for that ever again. Ever. As I explained to Jasper, I knewthe risks when I got involved with you. I knew the risks when I came over here. I didn't expect to bleed, but given my propensity for bad luck, I knew it was a possibility. I knew exactly what might happen if I did. You don't need to shoulder the blame for everything. It's all worked out fine."

"For you and I maybe," he murmured. "But what about Charlie? Renee? What about your friends? It hasn't really worked out so great for them."

"It will." I had to believe it. "As you told me, human memories fade. Time heals all wounds. I have to believe that or else I will never forgive myself."

He sighed. "We might as well make ourselves comfortable then." He ripped the dust cover off one of the couches.

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On our second day in the house, we found out that a memorial was being held in the gym at Forks High in the morning before a private ceremony at Forks cemetery. I knew I wouldn't be able to get close enough to the gym to watch without the risk of someone seeing me, so that was out. But depending on which plot they had selected for me, I might get lucky and be able to see my parents up close one last time.

In the end, I decided I didn't want Edward to come with me. It was one of the hardest decisions I'd ever made, but I could see the pain he suffered every time he thought about my 'death'. It was painful for him because he had actually experienced it. For a period of time, he had genuinely thought I was lost forever. No matter what I did or said, I could never erase the suffering he had endured during that time. Instead, I made the almost impossible choice and left him behind. He had argued, trying to convince me that he would be able to survive it, but I couldn't put him through that. Our parting kiss was full of all the love we shared and our sorrow at being apart again so soon after our reunion.

I ran to the cemetery, noticing the thick, putrid smell I'd encountered previously. I cursed myself for not asking Edward what the scent was. I'd just had too many other things on my mind.

I tried to put the scent, and what sort of animal it belonged to, out of my mind to focus on what I needed to do to get through the next few hours.

I knew that I had to stay hidden, regardless of how far from the proceedings I had to be. I couldn't risk anyone seeing me and destroying the hard work Carlisle had put into planning my death. As hard as I knew it would be on my parents, I knew the closure would help them in the long run. The last thing I needed was there to be ambiguity or rumours of a sighting of me.

When I reached the cemetery, and saw the open plot, I realised my luck was with me. I knew that the space where the empty coffin—meant to represent me—was to be buried. It was the perfect distance from my hiding spot in the forest. I was close enough that I could see and hear everything, but far enough away that no one would see me. I arrived a little too early, but it didn't matter because it gave me time to find the best hiding place. I sat perched midway up a tree and waited.

I watched as people started to filter through the gates in the distance. I was surprised how many people from the school Charlie had thought to invite to the private portion of the gathering. Mike walked over to my plot with his arm around Jessica. Ben and Angela trailed close behind. It looked as if Angela had spent a lot of time crying recently. The image of her red-rimmed eyes helped me to realise just how much of an impact my death had on my friends.

But the pain of my former schoolmates was nothing compared to the looks of utter devastation on my parent's faces. Renee leant so heavily on Phil for support that she was almost being carried by him. As they came to rest beside the burial plot, she grabbed Charlie's arm with her free hand. Charlie's face looked even worse than it had when I saw him sleeping. The worry lines and deep black circles were so much more pronounced now that he was awake. He looked like he had aged twenty years over the course of the past month.

I clutched tightly onto the tree trunk beside me to stop myself from hurtling towards them to let them know I wasn't really gone. That I was going to move on and be happy with my new family. That they should celebrate for me. That they should move on with their lives. But I knew I couldn't do that. I was as good as dead to them; and that was how it had to be. My cold, non-beating heart was testament to that.

I watched as Mr Weber, Angela's father, read through a selection of bible verses and other poems. No one else spoke. I presumed they'd all said what they wanted to say at the memorial and this was just a time for quiet reflection. Eventually the coffin that represented my human life was lowered into the ground. Charlie stood and threw a handful of dirt into the hole, Renee following shortly after. They turned and embraced one another. After continuing the ritual, Phil placed his hand on the small of Renee's back, letting her know he was there for her. In that moment, I had a spark of hope that they would all be there for one another.

I turned my back on them, and on my former existence. I smiled despite the heartbreak. I was ready to move on. To move forward and leave Forks behind me – maybe not forever, but for a few lifetimes at least.

I was barely a mile into the forest on the way back to the house when I heard the footsteps of a large beast. The reek I had sensed earlier filled the air. I was almost sickened by the intensity of the musky smell. My nose wrinkled automatically against the putrid scent. My eyes automatically scanned the area, as if sensing some sort of danger, even though I knew it was absurd. As if any simple animal could hurt me now. I remembered the way the defensive strikes of the bear had torn my jeans but had no impact on me and tried to push my instinctive fear aside.

Even as I worked on ignoring my intuition, my eyes locked on a dark patch of forest where I could see a set of eyes peering out from within a coat of deep black fur. I watched with curiosity as the beast began to stalk deliberately towards me. I was surprised by its boldness. Even in the short time I had been a vampire, I had come to realise that most animals shied away from my kind. Their survival instincts were usually honed much more sharply than humans. It wasn't even as if I gave off any heat or scent to draw in a hungry animal despite the danger.

As the size of the figure advancing towards me from the forest became apparent, I grew even more confused. It was a wolf, but much bigger than any other I'd ever seen or heard of. This beast was the size of a horse, with long, claws and razor-sharp daggers for teeth. A long, low growl—a warning—escaped from between its teeth. A part of me wanted to run, as silly as that might have been. I knew I had nothing to fear from the beast, and yet its eyes held a depth and wisdom that I couldn't understand or turn away from. There was something so familiar about those eyes.

A snap of a twig alerted me to a second wolf to my left. I listened closer, hearing four sets of paws, four thundering heartbeats. I forced myself to turn in a tight circle on the spot trying to watch them all. There were four wolves, each coming from a different direction of the compass. They forced themselves closer to where I stood and I suddenly felt afraid. There was no logical reason for it, but I was completely and utterly terrified. I wanted nothing more than to run away and never see these horrid creatures again. The smell was so overpowering that I had to stop breathing. I stood completely still, hoping the wolves would get bored and leave. But there was something in the way they moved that told me that would not happen. They were hunting for something. I tried not to listen to the irrational part of my brain that was saying they were hunting me.

My eyes flashed wildly between the wolves as I continued to step in a small circle. The black wolf was the closest of the four, but directly opposite it was a russet brown one who was next closest. The two on my sides seemed to hang back a little. All of the wolves had their hackles up, growls issuing intermittently, all except the russet brown one who didn't growl but seemed to be issuing a series of small whines. I turned my attention to that animal, compassion driving me to want to know whether it was hurt somehow.

There was another low growl from the other wolves and the russet one howled. The noise almost distracted me from the sound of the black wolf's paws leaving the ground as it leapt toward me. I twisted at the last second, grabbing its fur as it passed and throwing it toward the other wolves, desperate to be clear of the pack around me. Almost the instant the black wolf had left my hands one of the others leapt forward and caught my arm in its mouth, attempting to sink its teeth in as deep as it could. I had expected the beast's jaws to slide from my arm, unable to get a purchase, but instead pain ripped through the limb, and a huge gash opened where his teeth had been. I knew immediately why my instincts had been screaming that I was in danger, and why I felt scared of these odd wolves. I was in danger. They could kill me. And it was four on one.

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