Okay, I know I write really short chapters and I rarely update anymore. I'm sorry, so here's a longer chapter for the wait. :)
Thank you for waiting, for those who waited and actually still read this... :D
Disclaimer: Hetalia is not mine!
School started a week ago. Sadly, Mathias had all the same classes with me. There was not a minute I was left alone. He always whined for help on his homework and always came over to my house, afterschool, as if he owned the place.
Today was a Friday so I had to meet my boss. Not a particularly favorite day, since Mathias followed me and waited outside the building. I tried to avoid him, but he tackled me as soon as I exited the building.
"Lukie~!" he shouted, tackling me to the ground.
I push him off and stand up, brushing my pants off. "I told you not to do that… Or call me that, idiot." He only pouts and follows me like that lost puppy he is. I start running, he runs too. I take a detour around the park, he takes a detour with me.
"Do you have a life, Dane?"
"A life with you."
"Shut up. That's not what I meant, and you know it," I blushed slightly, shaking my head, knowing this idiot couldn't possibly have a life if he followed me every day.
As I made my way to the building, I saw Berwald. Quickly leaving Mathias, I go to him and his new, so-called friend, Tino. I do know that Berwald likes him in the likey likey way. Oh, what am I doing? I've been corrupted by the childishness and idiocy of that Dane… Whatever happens to them, I'll let that happen. I'm not stopping them if Berwald wants to have a sexual intercourse with Tino. Oh woops, what did I just say? Poor Berwald doesn't know that I know he has the thing for Tino, not that it was unnoticeable before.
"See you at five!" Mathias waved as I went in, sighing. Why didn't he have to meet his boss? Why couldn't he go home? Yeah, why did he never go home until I walked him back? Brat.
oOo~ Time Skip ~oOo
It was eleven o'clock, and I was walking outside with Mathias under the starlit sky. He had his arm wrapped around my shoulder. I didn't want it there, okay? It would go on forever if I kept shrugging him off. I'm not going to spend my time like that. Just let him do what he wants, I guess… Back on topic though, I was walking him home. Keep in mind, this is not a romantical gesture, but I'm doing it for my sanity so I can have a few hours of sleep without him sitting next to me, taking pictures or something. Yes, taking pictures. I heard him one night when he started taking pictures with his phone. I don't know, okay?
"Hey, Lukie…"
"Yeah, Dane?" I look at him, keeping the same, blank stare as usual. We were now at his house. "Oh, and you can take your arm off now…"
He laughs nervously for a few seconds or so. An awkward silence fell over us. Only the noises of leaves rustling and wind blowing. I turned around, ready to leave when his hand grabbed my arm, turned me around, and placed a small kiss on my lips.
"I always wanted to do that…" Mathias smiled before running inside. I stood there, shocked. I probably stood there for half an hour. Always wanted to do that? What the hell does that mean? What the HELL does that mean? WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?
I suddenly saw Mathias looking out the window to see if I had left yet through the corner of my eye and I sprinted away, face red like a tomato.
When I arrived home, Berwald opened the door before I could pull out my keys and pulled me inside. "And where have you been?"
"Not sleeping, that's for sure…" I roll my eyes, trying to hide my blush and my shaking hands. My heart was racing, but that was because of running. It was because of the running… Right?
oOo~ Time Skip ~oOo
It was Saturday. And I didn't sleep at all. Berwald tried to get me to, but I couldn't. I even fell off the bed at one point. I just didn't get it… Always wanted to do that? Since when did 'always' start? Ever since we met? Ever since he moved to Norway? Ever since he realized we have the same, exact classes? Every time I thought of him, my first reflex was to slam my head into something. Let's say, the wall. At 3 in the morning, I was banging my head against the floor while kicking around. Why am I thinking of him so much? It's not like I like him. Or it's not like I love him. That's impossible. I hate him, and I know I hate him. Or do I?
Berwald found me in the kitchen, drinking an unhealthy amount of coffee at 4.
"What are you doing, Lukas? I heard a bunch of noises coming from the kitchen… And you made a mess…"
I looked around. I was crouching in the corner of the kitchen, surrounded by broken dishes and spilled coffee beans, powder, and cereal. I groaned. "I just can't sleep, and all my coordination is messed up, okay?" I kick the broken dishes around me away, sipping my third coffee this morning.
Sighing, Berwald cleans everything up and picks me up and hoists me over his shoulder.
"Put me down, Berwald!" I kick around. "Berwald, you idiot!"
He brings me to my bedroom and throws me on the bed. He glares at me. "Just get some sleep before you set bombs all over Oslo."
"More like over the Dane…" I grumble, glaring at the wall.
Again, I couldn't sleep. Why would I? It's eight and I should be eating breakfast and studying. Grades are important too. I was just about to start falling asleep when I heard the doorbell.
Downstairs, I hear Berwald open the door. I hear him mumble, "He's sick right now."
Mathias came running into my room. "LUKIE? You should have told me you were sick!" I blushed and turned away, pulling the covers over my head. He pulled the covers off and placed his hand on my forehead.
"Oh shit, you have a fever!"
"I'm perfectly fine, you dolt!" I shout. My face was only red from stress. Right?
"Not in my book… I'm going to take care of you the entire weekend…" And for once, I saw a serious expression cross his face, like a shadow in an empty room.
"W-whatever…" I grumble and pull the covers back over my head so I could stop my heart from pounding away. "I don't care…"
Note: I DO CARE. Tino came over when Mathias was downstairs. I asked him a few things. He says I'm in love. I know he's joking. He knows how much I hate the idiot cooking some weird concoction in my kitchen. He says it is soup, but it could be made from frog eyes and witch toe nails.
"You're in love~!" Tino smiles and squeals like a gossiping girl. "I knew this day would come, Lukas!"
"Pfft. Love is stupid. I need to get into a good college and make sure I have a suitable living. And I'm not gay." I scoff. "Like I respect homosexuals, but I'm pretty sure I'm not gay."
Tino only keeps grinning that weird grin that seems to say that I'm denying it. Sure, I might be denying everything, but it's for a good reason. Is it a good reason?
Mathias knocked on the open door as he entered, holding a tray with soup. I looked away. I wasn't sick. I don't need him here.
"Eat up Lukie, it's lunch time~"
"I'm not hungry."
"…" Tino winks at me and walks out of the room. I felt my face flush another shade of red.
"You need to eat." Mathias sat himself down where Tino sat. He picked up the spoon.
"Then leave it here."
"No, I'm not leaving you. I'm supervising you."
"Berwald can do that."
"He's having some fun with Tino."
"How would you know that?"
"Uh…" He paused. I glared at him and sat up, propping myself up against the headboard of the bed.
"Give me the spoon…"
"No…"
"You really expect me to eat without a spoon?"
Mathias smirked as he tilted my head upwards with two fingers. "I'm going to feed it to you, Lukie~" I made a disgusted looking face and quickly smacked my hand against his face and grabbed the spoon.
"Like hell that's going to happen, idiot!" I glare at him, taking the tray.
"Just teasing you~ Still energetic though… Are you sure you're sick?" he grinned.
"I told you I'm not, but you didn't listen." I take a spoonful of the soup into my mouth. It was good. Like, REALLY good. Amazing. But I was not going to admit that.
"How is it?" he asked, changing the topic.
"Good."
"Just, good?"
"Yeah. Just good. Nothing else…" I take another spoonful and another. One after another, and I can't seem to stop. It's just that good. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him smile even more. I felt my face heat up involuntarily again… I'm an idiot…
oOo~ Time Skip ~oOo
He's gone. He's finally gone. But I'm sad that he is. Shouldn't I be happy that he was gone?
I can't talk to Berwald about it. He makes me feel awkward. I can't tell Tino. He won't shut up about it. I stay in my room, lying on the clean, wood floor. I look out the open window, feeling the breeze pass into my room. The leaves on the trees rustle in the wind and the moon shone brightly. The Prussian blue sky held a very soothing effect on the night. I close my deep blue eyes.
"Where is Emil?"
"You want to know where Emil is?" Berwald's voice broke through the peaceful calm of the night.
I nodded, opening my eyes again. "Where is my little brother?" I turn to him, looking for answers. He only remained silent. "Berwald, I need to know. I don't know my parents. Emil is the only one I have left, and I'm the only one he has…"
Berwald orders me to stand up and follow him. He tossed me a coat and we went outside. It was pretty chilly and we happened to be outside at 11. I shivered as we walked. We could have walked for miles, but Berwald never seemed to stop. Soon, we were at my boss's house. Berwald walked in casually and no one seemed to notice.
I checked my watch. Only a minute has gone by, even though it felt like three hours.
Berwald pulled out a silver key and inserted it in the keyhole of a mahogany wood door. With a click, the door opened, revealing a dark room. If you squinted, you could see the window was boarded shut. Berwald stepped inside. I stayed outside, a bit afraid to go in. Berwald turned to me and robotically dragged me in.
My cousin shut the door, quietly. It was as if I was closing my eyes. It was pitch black.
"Berwald, I don't think anyone is in he—" I felt a jolt and the entire room seemed to fall. Or was it? I had no idea. It was too dark to see.
Berwald opened the door again, revealing a bright, florescent light. Squinting, I block the light with my hand.
"Lukas, just keep following… We're not there yet…" We stepped into a huge laboratory-like room with a huge computer. The cushioned seat in front of the screen was empty and seemed brand new. Like no one had ever sat in it.
Berwald pushed me into the seat and pressed a button. The lights dimmed and Emil's face popped onto the screen.
A small, child Emil adjusted the camera. "Is it on? This stupid camera…" he mutters a little bit, the camera's view shaking a bit. Once the camera focused, he tucked a lock of his silver-blonde hair behind his pale ear. His face was flushed slightly.
"Okay, my boss told me to do this kind of video log thing. I-it's pretty embarrassing since it feels like I'm talking to a dumb camera…" he paused. "My name is Emil Bondevik, but I like to be known as Emil Steilsson. I am six years old, and I am technically a teen."
I laughed at this. He was still cute as ever, and still that stubborn…
"Today is Saturday, May 17th, 2007. Today is the day my older brother turns ten." The child claps happily, smiling. "Happy birthday, big brother!"
I smiled. My heart started to ache.
"Anyways, today, I start my video log! And, I don't know what else to say so I'm going now. Bye." He reached over towards the screen and the transmission ended. The screen went blank before another video log came on.
"Today is Tuesday, December 9th, 2012." Emil looked deeply troubled. "I am eleven years old and the doctor says I am to die of a rare disease only found in nations…" His body trembled slightly as he looked down at his hands, which were on his lap.
"I-i… I don't know what it is called… But the doctor says I only have a year to live…" He turned the camera away from him to show the hospital. "Y-you see… I'm in the hospital right now… It's really boring, and I miss my brother… I barely remember him, you see… We were separated as soon as I turned five… I have little memories with him…" He paused. "Now, I am doing this video log for another reason… I am doing it so I can mail it to my brother's boss so my brother can see. I'm sure he misses me too…"
I bit my lip, trying not to let my emotions spill out in a flood.
"In the meantime, I've been making origami cranes. I read a Japanese book on a girl, who was sick like me. In the story, it said that if you made a thousand cranes, a wish would come true… And my wish is to get better so I can see my brother again…" He started to cry, tears pouring down his face from his violet eyes. "M-my eyes aren't blue anymore… They're purple… It will get darker and darker until they're nothing but black holes…" Another voice was heard, a bit blurred, but enough to hear clearly.
"It's time for you to get some rest, Emil…" the high voice of a nurse chirped and a sun burned hand turned off the camera. The end of the video log.
I watched with terror as another one came on.
Emil was really pale, and his eyes were very dark, almost ebony black. "It is May 17th, 2013… I am twelve years old and…" he coughed for a bit. Once the coughing ceased, he continued. "I am to die in a month… Happy birthday, big brother… It's your sixteenth birthday… And I made two thousand cranes of all different sizes and colors. It didn't work… Maybe my illness won't be cured… but… Maybe you could drop by a visit to Iceland and see me?" he started coughing again. "But.." he coughed. "I-I miss you… So I plan to make another thousand cranes before I die…" He held up a small, blue origami crane. "Like this. I know your favorite color is blue, so I'll make them all different shades of blue…" He paused. Right then, I noticed how hard it was for him to breathe. "I… i…" he stayed silent. "I'll make another video log tomorrow… I have to go in for surgery today in a few minutes…" He looked straight into the camera lens. "Lukas Bondevik, my only blood related relative, my very own big brother… I want to see you before I die in a month… You can promise me that, right?" Then the video ended.
I nearly cried when the next one started. It wasn't Emil this time. It was Emil's boss.
"Lukas Bondevik, or Kingdom of Norway. I have made this in memory of your brother. Today is May 18th, 2013. Today is the day after your birthday." He looked very grave. "Your brother, Emil Bondevik/Steilsson, has passed away just a few hours ago… Please… Maybe you could attend his funeral... tomorrow at three, when the sun shines the brightest. You know which graveyard... Your Boss will tell you… I'm sure Emil would love it if you attended…" Then the video log ended. The screen went black forever.
Tears rolled down my cheeks. I began to cry. The crying became weeping and the weeping became sobbing. My little brother, my only blood-related relative had died a year ago, the day after my birthday without me knowing. I had lived, thinking he was happy and alive. Now, I'm alone… Truly alone… Emil's not here anymore. My little Emil…
I glared at Berwald. Standing up, I pushed the chair away and went up to him, punching him in the face. "You knew this entire time! You knew and you never told me!" I punched him again. Berwald took the punches without any response. I kept yelling and shouting and hitting my cousin until I fell to my knees and sobbed on the floor. I have never felt this much emotion in years since I first was separated from Emil. "I HATE YOU!" I shouted with all my heart and my emotions and the world seemed to shake. "I FUCKING HATE YOU AND MY STUPID ASS BOSS!" And that was all I could manage to say before I saw the walls of darkness fill up every inch of my vision.
I'm bad at emotional stuff, but this ends here. Sorry! And next chapter won't be as sad at it was towards the end of this chapter. A favorite and a review will help me write quicker, as you know!
