Chapter 7
"Pass the pillow," Harry said without removing his eyes from the page he was reading.
Severus sighed, yet passed the pillow anyways. He was deeply absorbed in his book as well.
Harry positioned himself more comfortably on the sofa, arranging himself so that he was curled snugly in a blanket. A few sentences later and he had finished his chapter. He closed the book shut and let it drop to the floor, yawning widely.
"Tired?" asked Severus, finally peeling his eyes from his reading.
Harry nodded, rubbing his eyes.
"How many pages do you have left?"
"About a hundred, and then some diagrams."
"And this is for which subject again?" Severus asked, squinting to try and decipher the title on the volume's cover.
"Herbology," he replied. "Neville was helping me, but now he isn't answering any of his letters. You don't think he...?"
"No, I do not," said Severus firmly. "I heard news of him through the order. Most of the Longbottoms have gone into hiding. His grandmother is helping Dumbledore and is therefore staying in Britain, but most of them have gone to Scotland."
Yet again reassured that Severus knew more or less everything that there was to know about anything, he breathed a sigh of contentment and curled into a ball.
"This is relaxing," he said. "It's comfy."
Severus smiled, closing his book. "Is it, now?"
"Yes," he said, smiling back. "And I have to enjoy it while I can. In two weeks...everyone's going to be back from vacation, and we won't be able to do this anymore. What did you tell Dumbledore we were doing?"
"Professor Dumbledore," he reproved, coming to sit next to Harry. "And I told him that I was helping you with your Potions. I didn't mean to lie to him, I might add. I did intend on teaching you a thing or two. Which, evidently, has yet to happen."
Harry smirked. "I enjoy doing this. Just sitting here. Reading. Talking to you. Stuff like that."
Severus smiled. "In any case, as for those...students...returning to the castle, I doubt they'll take notice of what we do. As long as you keep it to yourself, I think everything will go well. You will, I hope, do so?"
"Yes," Harry said in an exasperated tone. "For the millionth time. I promise, it'll stay with me. I'm not interested in getting you sacked, or getting expelled."
"Even if something goes wrong and you suddenly hate me?" Severus questioned.
"I'd never hate you," Harry frowned. "But let's just say, for argument's sake, that I did. No, I wouldn't tell anyone. Honestly. I'd never hear the end of it."
"Too true," he muttered. He began to stroke Harry's hair, which received very positive feedback as Harry grinned in appreciation. He chuckled. "If you were a cat, you'd be purring."
"I would," he agreed. He stretched and took Severus' hands in his own, running his fingers across the pale skin. "You have nice hands."
"You have nice eyes," Severus replied, staring into them.
"You have nice lips." Harry was now smiling slyly. He let go of Severus' hand and climbed onto him without warning, straddling his hips.
"Harry, really," he said in exasperation, "that was hardly expected. In any case, you have a nice ass."
Harry blushed and laughed nervously. "So you've been looking?"
"Every day for the past three weeks," he muttered, kissing the boy's neck sensually. Harry moaned and pulled away so that he could better see Severus' face. The man was somewhat flushed with excitement, and was eyeing him as a predator would its prey.
"Well, you have a nice..." Harry cut off, blushing, unable to finish his sentence. He felt it necessary to outdo Severus, but at the same time, he didn't want to go beyond his comfort zone.
"Yes?" Severus knew exactly what he meant, and no doubt wanted to see him squirm.
"Cock," he finally managed to say.
"Harry, please, what a vulgar world," Severus frowned. "I believe the correct term is 'penis'. And I don't understand where your embarrassment comes from. It's been in your mouth. Surely you can name it?"
"Severus!" Harry gasped, though he was right. It was odd, however, for him to speak of these things. This was the first time that they had voiced aloud what they had done almost every night for the last three weeks.
"Harry!" he mimicked. Before Harry could retaliate, he pulled him forward and began to kiss his lips with fervour.
When at last they broke for air, Harry licked his bottom lip.
"I think we should take this to bed," he said huskily.
"Mmm," was Severus' comment as he lifted his lover with ease and made his way to the bedroom. In the semi-darkness he set Harry down onto the soft covers, following close behind. He trailed his fingers down his shirt and began to unbutton it at leisure.
Harry moaned and gripped the man's hair, trying to hurry him. Severus merely licked his collarbone as the shirt finally came off. Casting it aside, he settled his fingers in Harry's mouth, where they were suckled eagerly. In the little light that was available to them Severus saw Harry staring him down seductively, and it encouraged him to remove his fingers and trail them down the boy's torso. It was smooth and bare, a sharp contrast to his own, which was riddled with scars.
He was just about to slide his fingers into the boy's jeans when Harry whimpered and drew back. The young boy felt Severus floating away from him, and before he spoke his lover already seemed to be miles away. He held his breath then let it out slowly.
"I'm sorry."
"What's wrong?" Severus' voice was quiet, expressionless.
"This doesn't feel right anymore," he said.
Severus sat back in alarm. He had two choices before him: he could lunge in and use all of his strength to pull the teen back, or he could sit patiently and hope that Harry would make his steady way towards him. Not wanting to scare him off, he settled in between the pillows and waited for an explanation, stroking his lover's knee all the while.
"I don't know, but..." He drifted off and began to search in vain for words that felt right. Gaining confidence from Severus' treatment of him, he cleared his throat and said, "Severus, I'm scared. I'm scared that all of my friends will be disgusted with what I'm doing, that they won't understand. I'm scared I'll be expelled or you'll be fired. I'm scared you're going to hurt me in the end, as stupid and lame as that sounds. I've lost almost everyone by this point. I don't want to lose someone else. And the more I get into this...the harder it'll be to get out."
Severus weighed the words in what he hoped was an unbiased way. He wanted the best for Harry, without tainting the decision with his own needs. "Well, Harry, I don't know what to say. There's the chance of us being caught, yes. If so, the consequences could be horrible. But I am perfectly willing to keep it a secret. And if you do so as well, no one needs to know. As for breaking your heart or something of the sort...really, Harry, I'm an old man. I've no time for such melodramatic, adolescent tomfooleries."
Harry couldn't help but laugh. "So you're telling me that old men like you don't go around breaking up with people?"
"If they are wise like me, then yes, that's exactly what I am telling you," Severus smirked. "I am not with you on a whim; I feel a deep, serious connection with you. This isn't based off of dark thoughts at night, butterflies in the stomach, or weak knees at the sight of you. No. This is based on a mutual understanding between us, trust, a desire to get to know you, and the sense of peace and belonging I get from being around you. Harry," he softly wrapped the boy's hands in his own, "I'm not going to hurt you. Whether the others find out or not is affected by you as much as myself, and so I don't have complete control over the situation. But I can control my actions. And so I can guarantee you that I am not about to hurt you in any way."
Slowly, tenderly, Harry leaned forward and pressed his lips against Severus'. When he drew back, he smiled and allowed himself to be pulled down as the older man settled down on his back, Harry draped across his chest like a luxurious cloak. He stroked his head, weaving the hair through his fingers, and whispered reassurances to him.
After a while, Harry yawned and began to drift off to sleep.
"No wild, crazy sex?" Severus teased.
"This is just as nice," Harry replied. "If not better."
The night would be a long one filled with light kisses and muttered words of affection. They both prayed that the moon would not go down, and yet when it did, they were both fast asleep anyways.
