BROWNIESTICK: lol i do love the Alex abuse, last story I loved the Casey abuse...I go through moods ;)
VAMPIREPRINCESS: yeah, my bad, lol it was late and I was writing on a four hour drive back to vegas. not fun lol but i fixed it for you :) and no one ever said she was going to die. people recover from cancer all the time lol
FUTURENYPD: lol I cant let you think your THAT smart ;) but Ed is stupid, I just see some uses for him lmao
JENNIFERTVGIRL: dont be sad yet!
______________________________________________________________________________
"I just dont think it's going to work Ed. I have alot of affection for you, you really helped me get through last year, but I need something else that you cant give me."
He crossed his arms and looked down at her. "I dont think your being open minded enough for us to have a chance Casey."
"Ed," she sighed, "We started seeing eachother ten months ago, and you never once went any further than a peck on the lips. But you can fuck all of those girls you work with? That's not exactly my idea of how I want a relationship to progress."
"You were sleeping with other men too. Is this one of those female 'you-need-to-marry-me-or-I'm-leaving' kindof moments?"
She laughed and shook her head, "No, Ed, your much more of a woman in this relationship than I am."
He narrowed his eyes at her, "Who is he?"
"He?"
"The guy, you've been fine with this relationship for ten months, who is it that is offering you something better?"
She laughed again, "Oh Ed. Maybe I just dont want to be a part of something that I know is going no where. It's better to end it now, before there's any serious committment."
"I am committed Casey."
"No, Ed, your not. If you were then we wouldnt be having this conversation right now."
He nodded at her and closed his eyes. "Alright." She let him kiss her cheek and walk out of her office. She sat down and ran her hand through her hair, she hadn't expected that to be such a difficult conversation. Ed really had been there for her through alot, he had been with her when her father died, he had helped her get her job with SVU, he had taken care of her when no one else was there to keep her going. She couldnt help but feel like she was letting a large chapter of her life end, like he was walking away from her and she simply wouldn't see him again.
______________________________________________________________________________
Olivia looked up as the doctor walked towards her. She stood instantly, shaking his hand and waiting uncertainly for him to say anything.
"I'm Doctor Allen, I was Alex's physician at the treatment center in Arizona. You'r Olivia, right?"
"Yes, how is she?"
"She's out of surgery, but she needs to stay for a few weeks before we can transport her back to the treatment center. It doesnt look good, and I'm not sure we can get it all out. It's progressed alot further than we thought, she needs to go back into chemo-"
"She cant do that. She cant survive another bout of treatment."
"We'll all sit down and talk in a few hours, we can sort it all out then." He looked down at his clipboard, "Olivia, you are aware she gave you power of attorney, correct?"
Olivia shook her head, "No."
"If anything happens, we'll need you to be here. Is that possible for you?"
"Yes," Olivia nodded, "If I'm not here then I'm only a phone call away."
Dr Allen nodded. "She should be waking up soon, I'm sure she would want you to be there when she wakes."
Olivia nodded and followed him down the hall. She sat down next to Alex and held her hand, she sighed and laid her head down, resting it on their hands.
Alex woke quietly, looking for Olivia instantly. "Liv?"
Olivia's head shot up instantly, "Lex? How are you feeling?"
Alex gave her a small smile and shook her head slowly, "I'm not even sure yet. My chest hurts so bad Liv, I keep thinking I'm dying."
"Lex, dont say that baby. It'll be okay. I promise." Olivia brushed her thumb across Alex's cheek and wiped the tears away from her face, "Your going to be okay."
Alex nodded and closed her eyes, she squeezed Liv's hand and drifted back into sleep.
Olivia stayed next to her, woke her up gently when Dr Allen needed to talk to them. Alex came to her full awareness quickly, smiling weakly at Olivia and her doctor.
"How are you feeling Alex?"
She shrugged, "The pain meds are working. I dont feel much of anything."
He smiled at her, "Always making jokes." His smile faded quickly though, which told Olivia that it was only bad news that he was delivering. "We're going to wait a few weeks before moving you back to the center. You'll need to stay here, focus on getting rest and feeling better. I think we need to prepare you for another bout of chemo, keep a sharp eye on how your doing."
"No." Alex shook her head and looked at Liv. "I cant do chemo again. I dont want it. I dont want to go back to Arizona."
"Lex, baby, this isnt going to go away on its own."
"I know, but it's out of my hands. God has a plan, and if this is part of it, then who am I to say no? It's all for a reason Liv, and I dont want to go to Arizona, to be sick like that again. I cant do it."
"Baby, you'll die without it."
"It'll kill me faster than the cancer will Liv. You know I'm right."
Dr Allen cleared his throat and Alex looked at him. "Miss Novak, Alex, I cant say you'll live for a year without the chemo."
"I could step out of my home and get hit by a car any day, I say a year sounds like a pretty good chance."
Olivia couldnt help but laugh, she knew Alex was completely serious, but that made it even funnier. She couldnt tell if the laughter was caused by the real humor in Alex's statement of if it was a way to cope with the fact that Alex was dying and she refused treatment.
______________________________________________________________________________
Casey looked up sharply as her office flew open. Munch barely had time to breath before telling her that she needed to get to the interrogation room. Casey walked quickly, she didnt see Elliot so she assumed he was the reason everyone was so worked up. She looked into the interrogation room and was shocked at what she saw. Elliot was slumped against the wall, barely concious, and Fin was trying to get the man that they had in with them to keep still. Casey stood off to the side as four uniformed officers rushed to Fin's aid, and she edged past them to go to Elliot.
"El? Elliot?" He looked at her, but he didnt seem to register her kneeling next to him at first. "Elliot, please say something, please?"
"Casey?"
She nearly laughed with relief as he looked at her, "Why are you in here?" He looked to the crowd of men walking out the door, they could still hear the man cursing at the top of his lungs. "Did he hurt you?"
Casey smiled as he brought a hand up to her face and sat up straighter, "No, but he hurt you. Sit still, we called the EMT's already and your not getting out of this by saying your fine and going back to work. They need to check you out."
"Stay with me?"
She sat down next to him, leaning up against the wall and resting her head on his shoulder. "I should be working right now."
"No, you should be right where you are, with me." She looked up at him, he was staring at the ceiling, his thumb gently caressing her hand.
She stood when the EMT's walked in but didnt leave, she stood a few feet away, where he could see her. It didnt take them long to decide he was fine and didnt need to be taken to a hospital. They told him to take some asparin for the headache he would have and to drink alot of water, but other than that he was perfectly fine. Casey helped him up, using her entire body weight to pull him up. "No wonder your so stubborn, your head is hard as a rock."
He laughed at her and kissed the top of her head.
"Stabler!" They looked up as Cragen called them, interrupting the moment that was building between them. He looked down at Casey and shrugged, then walked away from her, into Cragen's office.
Casey took the opportunity to send a quick text to Olivia. 'How is she?'
She got a reply almost immediately. 'Refusing any more chemo, not good.'
'Want me to come visit?'
'Later.'
Casey sighed and walked back to her office. She knew that Alex refusing the chemo would end badly, they would lose her, but it would take time, they still had a shot at convincing her to go back to Arizona and continue her treatment.
______________________________________________________________________________
Casey gave a Alex a hug and kissed her cheek. "You look radiant, as always." Alex laughed but Casey continued, "I hate you for it you know, your so beautiful even when your sick, I'm so jealous." She spread a beautiful pink and white blanket over Alex and smiled at her, "Preset."
"Case, you bought this?"
"Shit no, I made that. You are laying underneath eight yards of patchwork love baby!"
They all laughed at that, Casey stood proud looking at the blanket she made. "I didnt even know you could sew," Olivia said quietly.
"She didnt," Elliot put in, "Until about two nights ago. I'm shocked she got it done."
Casey smacked him playfully and sat down at the end of the bed. She reached over and took Alex's hand in her own, "So how are you feeling?"
Alex shook her head and sighed, "Fine, they should let me go home."
Olivia sighed and stood up, she walked out of the room, mumbling under her breath, Elliot followed.
"Liv?" He touched her arm, "You okay?"
"No," She shook her head and looked at him, "No I'm not. She's going to fucking die because she keeps refusing treatment. I dont know what I'm going to do without her. And tomorrow I'm not going to be here. I have to go to work tomorrow. What the hell am I supposed to do Elliot?"
"Support her." He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "She needs you, she needs to know that your going to love her no matter what. This is her choice, she needs you to respect that and to stand by her."
Olivia nodded and gave a short laugh, "I just cant believe this. It was supposed to be gone, and it just came back in a different place, a place that could kill her."
"But being angry isnt really the way to deal with it. Right?"
