Chapter 7

Steve had to smash down the exultant feeling that tried to rise inside him every time he looked over and realized that it was actually Danny sitting beside him. He'd had lots of dreams about the other man over the past weeks up and down the rating scale, but the one that zapped through him and gave him the strongest longing was having Danny seated next to him in this very truck. The fact that he'd somehow managed it threatened to overwhelm him, making him realize that maybe the other fantasies might actually come true as well.

He'd been attracted to Danny from the moment they met, but he hadn't been quite sure about Danny's feelings. Danny's ex proved that he was definitely attracted to women. Steve's time in the Navy made his circumspection second nature, although to be honest, he hadn't had that difficult a time with being bisexual. So he sat back and observed, and what he learned had given him room for hope.

Not that Danny was obvious about his attraction, but Steve saw the way Danny's eyes focused on his arms when he was gathering the garbage or the way his eyes jerked up from Steve's ass when Steve turned around.

Steve tended to go for tall, introspective, dark haired men and women, so Danny, with his blond hair and compact size was as far from his type as one could get when looking at it superficially. But Danny's body was fantastic. His chest, bisected by those stupid ties he insisted on wearing, strained his button-down shirts, his tight pants cupping his ass spectacularly. His smile brightened the room. Normally Steve found rants like Danny's, complete with dramatic arm flourishes and theatrical expressions, tiresome, but for some reason, not only did he enjoy the hell out of them, but he found himself quietly egging them on from time to time.

Even more compelling was Danny's devotion to his friends and daughters. Those two little girls didn't seem to comprehend the idea of rejection. Sure, Danny didn't have the money or resources to take them places, but they knew that he loved them more than anything else in the world, and that was better than any trip. Steve watched Kono visit, Danny automatically sliding food and drink in front of her, asking about her studies, watching her closely to make sure she was doing okay. She always rolled her eyes at him, but it was obvious that she too basked in Danny's concern and attention.

There were also two homeless men who hung out around the corner from the shop, right in the path of Grace's bus stop, and Steve knew for a fact that those men were fed a variety of pretzels and coffee regularly.

And the more Steve saw of Danny's operation, the more impressed he grew. With just enough assistance from the corporate office to have hung himself if he'd been less of a businessman, less of an entrepreneur, less knowledgeable about Boone Pretzels, Danny had pulled himself up by his fingernails. Sure, he was barely making ends meet, but without his determination and intelligence, he wouldn't have made it three months.

And that was what incensed Steve. Here was a golden opportunity, both for Boone and for Danny, and it was all being pissed away by a failure on corporate's side. Catherine had sent him information she had gotten from Hesse's assistant, but between the street fair and his own workload, he found himself too exhausted at night to go through it. He'd only planned on being there for two weeks and had managed to push it to a month, but he knew he was running out of time and found that he didn't particularly want to fly back to the East Coast.

Realizing that train of thought was causing him to clench his hands on the steering wheel, he forced himself to relax, throwing a smile toward a suspicious Danny. "What?"

"What's with that face?"

"What face?" Steve made sure he maintained a neutral expression.

"That someone-kicked-my-dog face."

Steve blinked. "No one kicked my dog."

"I don't mean literally –"

"I don't even have a dog."

"That's not – " Danny sighed, and Steve had to turn away slightly to hide his smile. "You're obviously thinking about something that's pissing you off. Did something happen today?"

"No," Steve said. "It's just something that's going on with my father's business, but it's not really important." He ignored the pang of guilt at his evasion.

"Do you want to talk about it? Maybe brainstorm a bit?"

"It's not that big of a deal," Steve said.

"Sometimes all you need is a fresh point of view."

Danny's generosity just made Steve feel even more of a shit for his lies, and he felt his defensiveness growing. "Seriously, don't worry about it."

"You're worrying about it, so what's the problem with sharing?"

"What would you know about it?" Steve snapped, clamping his lips closed too late to hold back the words.

After a short pause, Danny asked, "And what does that mean?"

Steve sighed, parking in his driveway. He shouldn't have said it, but now that it was out there, he found that he didn't want to take it back. Turning off the engine, he faced Danny. "I know you're having a tough time making ends meet, but whenever any of us ask you about it, you just blow us off."

"I'm doing ok –"

"If you say that you are doing okay one more time…" Steve warned.

Danny looked down at his lap for a moment, then looked back up at Steve. He sighed, scratching the top of his nose before staring unseeingly out the window. Figures that the one time Steve wanted Danny to talk, the man suddenly found himself wordless. The conflicted look in the other man's face made Steve want to pull him close and hold tight, promise that he'd be there to help. But he knew Danny was too proud for that, so he waited.

Finally, Danny turned back to him. "Do you mind if we –" He gestured toward the house.

"Sure," Steve said, trying not to sound too eager. He led the way, unlocking the door and disabling the alarm before nodding to the back of the house. "I'll give you a tour later. Head out to the lanai, and I'll grab a couple of beers." Without waiting to see if Danny followed his instructions, Steve sped into the kitchen, grabbed the steaks he'd been soaking in a marinade since that morning, and quickly dumped some ice and a six pack of Longboards into a small cooler before walking out to the lanai in a determinedly casual pace.

Danny was draped over the chair Steve never used, his shoes on the ground like they'd been kicked off. He stared, as if mesmerized, at the water as it lapped up on the shore.

Steve stood in the doorway, watching the moon create a halo effect around Danny's blond hair. It was still swept back with whatever mystery products Danny used to keep it tame, and Steve clenched his hand around the cooler handle to stop himself from running his hand through it to see if it felt as soft as it looked.

"You know, it's physically impossible for me to drink my beer while it's hanging out in the doorway with you," Danny muttered without turning his head.

Grinning, Steve walked until he was flush with Danny's chair, twisting open the top of a bottle before handing it to Danny. Opening his own, he tapped his against Danny's before taking a sip.

Staring out at the ocean, Steve found himself enjoying the stillness, of just relaxing in the moment with Danny. He realized that he rarely did this, just let the time pass. And he knew for a fact that it definitely wasn't something Danny did often either. Besides the fact that Danny had the store and the girls, he was a natural talker who couldn't seem to sit still to save his life. Now Steve knew that Danny was capable of it. While it wasn't something he was used to, it was a nice change, just being here and relaxing with Danny.

He fired up the grill, setting the container with the steaks aside while it warmed and sitting down in his chair with a happy sigh.

Eventually, as Steve knew he would, Danny broke the silence. "I'm not sure what Chin and Kono have already told you," he slid a knowing glance over to Steve before resuming his inspection of the small private beach, "but I grew up in a series of foster and group homes. They weren't 'Oliver' bad or anything, but nothing was ever permanent, so we never really developed attachments. I mean what's the point if you're just going to another place with more new people in a few weeks or months, right?"

Steve didn't bother pretending that he wasn't watching Danny anymore. He could tell by the wave of Danny's hands that he was acting like his past didn't bother him, but Steve knew that it had to have been a tough way to grow up. He'd had his issues with his family, but at least he'd always had a family.

"I'd run into Rachel at a group home, but we didn't really connect until a few months after I'd graduated from the academy – she literally ran into me one day, and I offered to give her driving lessons. Obviously, she didn't have any family either, and we kind of started making one of our own. It was a going pretty well, too. I had a job I loved, a woman who understood me. Then Rachel became pregnant. That was a really happy time." He frowned, absently picking at the label on his bottle. "We were young and healthy, and we weren't used to regular checkups, so it didn't occur to either of us that Rachel needed prenatal care. We didn't know Jenna had Down syndrome until after she was born, which was probably a good thing." He looked over at Steve, gave him a small, pained smile. "Rachel kind of tuned out once she realized that Jenna wasn't the perfect baby she'd planned on having. She'd have probably snuck somewhere and terminated if we'd found out beforehand, but I can't imagine not having my baby around."

Danny thought back to that time, wondering how he had managed to survive it. They'd been so young, so unprepared, and so certain of the direction of their life. Jenna's arrival had definitely put a spoke in their wheel, but Danny'd known the moment he'd held her in his arms that he wouldn't have chosen any differently.

Rachel had been another matter. With hindsight, he now saw that her definition of "family" didn't allow for anything that might put in danger the life she had created. She looked at Jenna and saw someone who threatened her future happiness. While he didn't agree with it, he tried to understand it.

"So she left," Steve said, reminding Danny that he had gotten wrapped up in his own musings.

He sighed. "Yes, yes she did. She just couldn't handle it. But thankfully I had Gladys. She lived in our apartment building back in Jersey and is probably the only person I've ever really relied on, although I think it was partially because I was a new, desperate father and partially because she wouldn't take no for an answer."

Steve smiled faintly, getting up and putting the steaks on the grill.

Danny snorted. "I know what you're thinking over there, SuperSEAL."

Shrugging, Steve said, "You aren't the easiest person to help."

"Back then I was young and scared. I needed all the help I could get." Danny sighed. "Anyway, I was this young single father with a special needs kid, and even with Gladys' help, I couldn't keep a normal cop's hours. So I had to find another gig, something that let me put food on the table, keep a roof over our heads, and gave me quality time with her."

Those days had been tough. Being a detective was all he'd ever wanted to be, so it'd broken his heart to have to turn in his badge. His last day, he'd come home and crawled into bed behind Jenna, holding her close and forcing the tears at bay. It'd taken a long time for the pain to settle into something bearable, but it only took a look at his beautiful daughter to remind him that he he'd made the right decision.

"Gladys and her husband owned the Boone Pretzels right down the street, and she'd kept the shop even after he died from a heart attack. Two years later, we moved across the hall. She gave me a job, trained me, watched Jenna, and was pretty much my guardian angel."

"And then Rachel came back," Steve said into the silence as he returned to his chair.

"And then Rachel came back," Danny agreed, not surprised that Steve had figured it out; what a putz he'd been. But at the time, he'd felt like he'd been given a second chance at having a family. If Rachel hadn't been as… free with her love toward Jenna, he'd chalked it down to her just needing to get to know her now three-year-old daughter. Jenna, for her part, didn't seem to notice anything amiss, for which Danny was forever grateful. "And it was good, or at least I thought it was." To this day, Danny still didn't know if Rachel had just been pretending to be happy. "She got pregnant again, with Grace, and man, I was over the moon. This time we did all the tests, went to all the doctor's appointments." He'd been a little panicked at the time; a manager's salary didn't afford them a lot of luxuries, but Rachel and Jenna had both seemed happy, so he'd pushed his worries to the back of his mind and focused on his growing family.

"A little after Grace turned a year old, Rachel got a part time job as a receptionist at this real estate firm. It really helped ease the pressure financially, and Gladys was still our go-to babysitter. We didn't see each other much, though, because of my hours.

"Then one day, I come home, and Rachel and Grace are just. Just gone. She'd left Jenna with Gladys and a note on the kitchen table saying that she'd met someone else."

Steve shifted, his hand reaching out, only to still and fall to his side.

Danny smiled faintly, part of him wishing Steve hadn't held back, another part of him a little too wrapped up in the past to be able to appreciate it. "It took me about a week to realize that I didn't miss Rachel as much as I thought I would." He cracked a smile. "I will admit that my intense hatred for her taking Grace might've had a little to do with that."

"You still got visitation, right?"

"One evening every two weeks." Danny let his head fall back and closed his eyes. "I'd thought her leaving the first time was the hardest thing I'd ever lived through, but at least she'd left Jenna with me."

"How did Jenna take it?"

"I don't think she ever really understood why her mother and sister suddenly disappeared. I tried explaining it to her, but I was having a tough time wrapping my head around it too. Once again, Gladys was a lifesaver." Danny drained the last of his beer and gently set it on the small glass table. "Until Rachel informed me that she and Stan were moving to Hawaii."

"What'd your attorney say?"

Danny snorted. "I'd used up all of my savings with the medical bills and the divorce, and Stan was rich. You do the math."

"So you ended up here in Hawaii."

"I did. Gladys passed away and left me everything." Danny had to pause a moment. She had given them so much, even in death. He missed her presence, kept pictures of her in their small apartment so the girls would always know who she was, even if they didn't remember her. "Turns out, she also owned the apartment building, so I sold the building and her franchise, which was just enough to get me started here.

"Six months later, Rachel and Stan died in a car accident, and I had Grace fulltime, which you know, is a mixed blessing there."

Steve nodded.

Grace'd had to handle so much transition, first dealing with the death of her mother and stepfather. She also moved from a house one step below a mansion to a cramped two bedroom attached to the shop. She'd been used to drivers, private tennis lessons, trips to the beach and other islands on boats with floors that let you see the ocean life, and in one night, her radius shrank considerably. She'd also had to change schools, because even if Danny could afford to keep sending her to that private school, he couldn't get here there without a car – or without spending time away from the store to take the bus to drop her off and pick her up. And then there were the uniforms and all of the other extraneous fees she needed to keep up with the others. So to public school she went.

She also had to adjust to new family dynamic. It was one thing to visit and spend a Friday or Saturday night – depending on Rachel's schedule – every other week. It was quite another to suddenly find herself with them permanently. It'd been really hard on her, but with time, and quite a few temper tantrums and tears, she'd slowly acclimated and found her happiness.

Jenna, on the other hand, had been ecstatic that her baby sister was moving in with them. Rachel had been this shadow, someone she recognized but didn't love like she'd loved Gladys. So Rachel's death hadn't made much of an impact on her emotionally. What she did understand was that the sister she idolized was moving into her room, and they were going to spend more time together than ever. Her enthusiastic, unconditional love and impromptu hugs had gone a long way in helping them all adjust to the new dynamic.

"And here we are," Danny said, arms spread. "I guess I'm just so used to relying on myself that it's become a habit."

Steve thought it was more likely that Danny didn't want to put his trust in someone only to have them disappear like Rachel. It sounded like the only person who'd ever been there for Danny had been Gladys, and even she'd passed away. She had essentially left Danny too, even though it hadn't been her fault. Steve, of all people, knew that feelings rarely cared about the facts.

"And I'm sick of talking about me. Tell me about yourself. All I really know is that you worked at a Boone before you went into the Academy, you have a younger sister who drives you crazy, your father had some sort of health crisis a few years ago and is having some sort of issues now with his business, and you used to be in the Army."

"The Navy. I was in the Navy," Steve said, sighing. They'd had this conversation multiple times, and eventually Steve'd realized that Danny was smart enough to remember what branch; he just liked pushing Steve's buttons. But even knowing that, Steve fell for it every time.

"Right. Big bad SEAL," Danny said, grinning as he reached for another beer in the cooler. "So spill. Take my mind of my problems by telling me yours."

"I don't have any problems," Steve said, and for the moment, it felt true. He was sitting on his old lanai with a new good friend, enjoying a cold beer and the beautiful Hawaiian evening.

"Really?" Danny turned to face Steve. "So, why don't you ever mention your mother?"

Steve automatically stiffened, then forced himself to relax. "She died of breast cancer when I was fourteen."

After a pause, Danny reached out, pressing his hand against Steve's wrist. "That must have been rough."

"She'd been diagnosed about two years before. She'd tried everything, surgery, chemo… by the end, she was so tired and so damn thin. She just wanted the pain to go away."

"Doesn't mean you don't miss her."

Steve nodded slightly, conceding the point. She'd always been the mediator between him and his dad. After their blowouts, she'd come into Steve's room and explain his dad's point of view. Then he'd hear her walk into the garage, where his dad tended to let out his frustrations on a 1974 Mercury Marquis he claimed to be restoring. He'd hear the murmurs and figured she was explaining his side to his dad. They hadn't managed to figure out a way to talk to each other until after his dad's heart attack two years ago, and even now things tended to be a bit formal between them.

He found himself explaining that to Danny, telling him things he hadn't told anyone before.

"So you grew up here?" Danny asked.

Steve nodded. "In this very house, in fact. My grandfather – my mom's dad – died a couple of years after mom. He ran the family owned business out of Washington, DC, and dad moved out there to take over. Chin's parents took me in so I could finish my last two years here at Kukui High."

"So let me get this straight: you've essentially been in the Marines since college, and you suddenly decide to retire from there without a plan? That doesn't sound like you."

"I retired from the Navy as soon as I could after dad's heart attack," Steve said, knowing he was heading into dangerous territory. He didn't want to lie to Danny, but he knew he couldn't tell him the entire truth. Not yet. "I did my best to step into his shoes while he was recuperating, but he's pretty much back to full speed, so I need to figure out where to go from here."

"And you can take the SEAL out of the Navy, but you can't take the Navy out of the SEAL?" Danny guessed.

Steve shrugged. It was true that he'd had a difficult time rejoining civilian life, and he still had days when dressing in a suit and spending the entire day in the office made him want to scream, but he found that he was pretty good at his job. "I don't hate the work, but I meant what I told you when we met. I'm still trying to get used to living my own life." He sighed. "I don't know that I want to work in the family business."

"You weren't sure if you're there for you or for your father?"

Steve opened his mouth to refute Danny's words, but something in them rang true. "I want to make sure I'm taking my own path, not someone else's."

"That's fair," Danny said. "How does your father feel about that? Wait. Let me guess. You haven't told him."

"Dad's the type of man who responds better to a plan."

"Hmm," Danny said, eyeballing Steve.

"What?" Steve asked, feeling defensive without knowing exactly why.

"Maybe that's something you two have in common."

Steve huffed a laugh, taking a sip of his beer and looking back toward the ocean. "Maybe."

They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, before Danny said, "So I admit that I'm not good at accepting help, but I will try – try – to keep an open mind. How's that?"

"Does that mean I get to move the espresso machine?" Steve asked hopefully.

"Yes," Danny groaned, "as long as you take care of all of the wires and hoses – and you agree to hook it back up if I decide that it needs to return to its original location."

Steve didn't miss that Danny was going to make the final decision, but it was his shop, so it made total sense. "Deal." He smiled and stood, checking on the steaks. "These should be ready in a couple of minutes. I'm going to go make a quick salad."

"I'll be right here," Danny muttered sarcastically, making Steve smile.

Because he ate salads at least four times a week, Steve'd developed an easy routine, emerging less than ten minutes later, carrying two large, colorfully filled bowls. He placed them on the living room table placemats and headed outside to grab Danny and the steaks.

"So we can either cut up the steaks into pieces and add them to our salads or – " Steve walked out the lanai, serving plate in hand, to find Danny fast asleep in his chair.

Sleeping, he looked almost as stressed as he did when he was awake, the lines between his eyebrows still pronounced. Steve gave in to his urge and gently ran a finger over them, smoothing them out. Danny sighed, nudging a little closer to his hand, and suddenly he found himself caressing Danny's cheek, feeling the stubble scratch against his palm.

What he'd come to learn these past few weeks was that despite his gruffness and bluster, Danny's heart was almost bigger than he was. Steve wasn't sure how, considering how he'd grown up, but Danny's compassion and inner strength awed him. Unfortunately, while he was willing to give so much of himself to others, he consistently refused help from them, and things were just getting a little over his head. He'd been walking a tightrope for quite a while now, and all it would take was one strong tug, and he would lose his balance. Steve had no doubt he'd go down fighting, but he didn't want Danny to go down at all.

Danny'd made a huge concession tonight, agreeing to at least hear Steve out on his ideas, and Steve made a mental note to print out the list he'd been compiling. He'd take it easy and maybe mention only one or two a day, see how Danny handled them. Eventually, maybe Danny would let Chin, Malia, and Kono help a little as well.

Suddenly, Danny's eyes were on him, still intense despite his sleepiness. He didn't say anything, didn't shift away, just continued to stare, effortlessly ratcheting up Steve's heartbeat and making it absolutely impossible for Steve to look away.

Finally, Steve whispered, "Dinner's ready."

"Thanks," Danny said, just as quietly.

Steve reluctantly stepped back, dropping his hand, and turned his focus to the steaks on the grill, using the tongs to pick them up and drop them on the dish in his other hand.

"Uh, where can I – " Danny rubbed his hands together.

"There's a bathroom to the right of the front door," Steve said, enjoying Danny's sleepy smile as he ambled inside.

As if by unspoken agreement, they didn't talk about anything heavy during dinner. Danny explained his daughters' nicknames (Jenna was called Bear because of how she'd growled as a baby; Grace got the nickname Monkey because she climbed on everything when she was little); Steve shared some of his sister's 'adventures' and some unclassified adventures of his own. While he hadn't been on the job long, Danny'd had a few adventures himself as a Jersey cop, and he shared those.

After dinner, Danny borrowed Steve's cell and called Chin, wishing the girls goodnight and giving Chin and Malia nighttime and morning instructions before reluctantly hanging up.

Steve listened as he cleaned up; there wasn't much to do, so he was finished pretty much the same time Danny finished his phone call.

They fell on the sofa, Steve turning on the TV and handing the remote to Danny, who looked at it with a small smile and handed it back. "Babe, I haven't watched grown up TV since before Bear was born."

Steve refused to take it, shaking his head. "Then it's about time you caught up a little. Go crazy; hit some random numbers."

Danny laughed. "You're a goof." After channel surfing for a good two or three minutes, Danny finally settled on a sports channel. "I can't even tell you how long it's been since I've seen a football game!"

Fifteen minutes later, he was asleep again.

Steve sat there, watching him until he decided it was getting a little creepy. He locked up the house and got himself ready for bed before waking up Danny and leading him to the guest bedroom, grabbing Danny's backpack as he followed the man upstairs.

"Thanks," Danny muttered, absently patting Steve on the chest before stumbling over to the bed and collapsing over it.

Once he realized that Danny wasn't planning on moving, Steve dropped the backpack by the door and walked into the room. He took off Danny's shoes, placing them neatly beside each other by the door and shifted Danny around, pulling at the blankets until he had gotten Danny tucked in. Danny barely stirred, snuffling into the pillow.

Steve went to his own bed, imagining Danny curled around him instead of the pillow, snuggling his nose into Steve's neck.