Quickly, my chickens. Here is Chapter 7.

Usuals: I don't own Twilight or the characters. God Save Stephenie Meyer.

Big Edward flavored kisses to EvilBlackPoppies, the Wonder Beta, for wading through my Bullshit. One t-shirt comin up, dolly, I swear.

Big Fangirl Squees again to Sunfeathers, keep up the pimpin! (BTW, come follow me on twitter, I tweet about all kinds of shiz including where I'm at with the story...link on my profile.)

playlist for this chapter: Letting the Cables Sleep: Bush, Schism: Tool, Whole Lotta Love: Led Zeppelin, Can't Speak French: Girls Aloud


BPOV

It was worse than keeping it locked up in my head. To have it out in the open air, breathing it in was almost as bad as reliving it from start to finish every night. I've stained everything around me, laid myself bare in front of this guy who had kissed me like I was something good and beautiful not six hours ago. And now he knew just how awful my insides really were.

I dropped his hand and scooted to the end of the bed and curled up in a ball. I felt like everything in the room was growing until it towered over me, accusing.

You killed them. You killed them. You killed them.

The room closed in on me, dark and consuming, the chairs, the bed, the lights, the TV were huge, like tall trees and wicked branches in a dark wood. It was all getting closer, suffocating on top of me and I wish that it would just take me, kill me. Kill me like I deserved. I wanted it to have me, to finally come for me. I was so tired of keeping it together, barely holding on, putting a brave face on and all that stuff.

I just wanted it to be over instead of reliving it every time I closed my eyes.

I felt his hand on me and flinched away from his touch. There was a horrible noise in the room, a rattling, tearing noise. I thought it might be the air conditioner. I felt him shake me and I squeezed my knees tighter to my chest.

Suddenly his arms were around me, yanking me up and dragged me onto his lap, pulling me against his chest. I could see the lion tattoo, the celtic design weaving around. The ragged sound was louder. His hands were at my back, rubbing slowly up towards my shoulders. and I could make out over the sound that he was saying something to me.

"Cry, Bella, for fuck's sake, just fucking let go. You can't hold this in forever." I realized the sound was me. Breaths ripping from my chest, making my throat sore. Sobs, rough and wet muffled against his chest and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt like I was in a storm and he was shelter that I could crawl under, surviving while the world was torn around me. He rubbed my hair and then my back. He was rocking me, trying to sooth me, mumbling reassurances in my ear as I cried against him.

I cried for my mother and father, for the relationship they never had since I had been born. For the marriage they could have had if I had never planned this trip. I cried because the weight was pulling me down and I wanted to drown in it, to let go and drift into the fathomless depths of pain and grief.

After a while I sat there, hiccoughing. I felt so tired. One of my arms drifted down, my fingers on his chest. I drew small circles on his tattoo with my index finger as my eyes grew heavy.

***

My eyes opened and it was morning. The light pierced my eyes and I felt a sledge hammer pounding at my brain. I tried to open my eyes wider and the room actually started to spin. Images of earlier this morning flashed through my brain.

Oh God.

The shower. The panic attack. The crying. He knew. Oh God he knew, I had told him and he knew. Why? Why had I done that? I'm was an idiot and had thrown myself on him. I heaved in a sigh and the images went faster through my brain until I felt sick and dizzy with it. I groaned and rolled over, wondering if I could suffocate myself with the pillow.

Somehow, I was under the covers of the bed. The last thing I remembered was his chest so warm against my cheek, his wonderful smell surrounding me…

Oh no, I fell asleep on him again.

Flashes of last night flew through my mind too fast and I stumbled out of bed, feeling like I was going to be sick. I ran to the bathroom and heaved into the toilet, hoping that my memories would be purged as well but it was only empty painful heaves. I flushed the toilet and splashed cold water on my face from the sink. I decided I would brush my teeth hoping it would at least get rid of the taste in my mouth. Another flash went through my mind as I looked at the shower and stared at the corner I had tried to huddle into last night. I had been so cold when I woke up from my nightmare, the warm water from the shower seemed like a good idea at the time. I had only wanted to be warm, the cold a stark reminder of that horrible night.

I went out and found my over night bag, pulling out my favorite old pair of jeans and a lavender fitted t-shirt. I felt marginally better in clean clothes but still horrible enough to want to go back and wallow in bed. I yawned and felt myself shiver. I pulled the covers back on the bed and slid back in. I lay there and the room started to turn again. I put a pillow over my face and hoped it would stop but when my eyes were closed images from last night and that night with my parents flashed through my mind at a dizzying speed.

I curled up in a ball on my side again and rocked myself like Edward had rocked me last night. It seemed to help and I was able to sink into sleep again.

***

A sharp knock on the door brought me awake, my eyes snapping open. The knock sounded again and I got out of the bed. Glancing at the mirror above the dressing table, I groaned at my reflection. I was too pale and my hair looked like something out of a bad eighties hair band video. I ran a hand through the tangled mess, and made my way over to the door. The knock sounded again and I whipped the door open.

It was Edward, dressed in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt with a pair of scuffed doc martins on his feet. I stared at the green flame tattoos on his arms, for a moment. I blushed, not able to meet his eyes, embarrassed beyond belief.

"Check out is soon, are you almost ready to go?"

I nodded in response, still not able to meet his gaze.

His hand reached out and he put his finger under my chin, angling my face up.

"Hey…are you alright?" his voice was gentle with concern and I felt tears burn the back of my eyes. There was a lump in my throat and I tried to swallow it.

Still without looking him in the eye I answered as best I could, staring at a point over his shoulder, "Umm yeah. I'll get my bag." I turned away from him, leaving the door open and I heard him follow me inside.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him saunter into the room behind me. I frantically did an erratic circle around the room, picking up my things from where I had drunkenly strewn them. Every now and again, I looked at him under my lashes. Why did he have to look so good, his forearms strong and inked, I wanted to trace those flames with my tongue.

I finally had everything together and zipped up my bag, sliding the black flip flops I had set out onto my feet. I started to lift the bag but he stopped me, his hand taking a hold of mine.

"Bella?" There was a heavy pause while he waited for me to look him in the eye.

My eyes finally met his and my pulse picked up. His eyes were staring into mine, hot and loaded, just like they had last night before he kissed me.

Then he leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. I drew in a breath as his smell wrapped around me like an embrace. Not satisfied, he came in for another taste, his lips firm on mine, warm. I felt his hands cup my cheeks, his thumbs caressing my jaw. I opened my mouth and he deepened the kiss, moving his head for a better angle, tasting me. My hands crept slowly up his stomach to his chest, to his shoulders. One of his hands left my cheek to pull me closer. I kissed him back, my tongue caressing his. Both of his hands moved to my waist, and they moved up my ribcage to just under my breasts, his thumbs touching the sensitive skin through my t-shirt and then moving upward, slowly, teasing, knowing where I needed him to touch me. His hands cupped my breasts gently, his thumbs circling closer.

And then his phone rang. The opening rifts of Led Zeplin's Whole Lotta Love were loud, grinding, and had us breaking apart like guilty teenagers.

His eyes fastened on me and I licked my lips and bit my lower lip. He leaned down like he was going to kiss me again, the phone loud between us, and then he stopped.

He pulled the phone out of his pocket and looked down at it. His face was furious and he looked as though he was going to throw the phone against the wall. He sighed, pressing the answer button.

"What, Emmett?!" I could hear Emmett's chuckle and then his muffled voice.

Edward answered, "Yeah, she's awake and ready. I'll bring the keys down and check us out….Fuck you!….No fucking way after all that Jack Daniels. Yeah yeah, very fucking hilarious, Mr Fucking Sunshine….yeah, I'll see you back at the house tonight then." Edward hung up the phone and shoved it back in his jeans. He rubbed a hand through his hair and heaved in a sigh.

He moved closer to me and smoothed a lock of hair behind my ear. His hand lingered, his thumb stroking my cheekbone. I was staring up at him and his eyes were staring into mine, searching.

I worried my bottom lip. Reaching up his free hand, his thumb tugged my swollen bottom lip out from my teeth. He stood there, his thumb rubbing my lip.

"Bella, this is going to get better, I promise." He pulled me close, his arms around me, offering his strength. I felt him kiss the top of my head as I sighed into his chest. His wonderful smell surrounded me and I inhaled it, the smell of male, cologne, and cigarettes. He made me feel like I wanted to crawl deep inside him and be safe from the rest of the world, and from myself. After a while he stepped away from me.

He went to the bed to lift my bag. He picked up the key where I had left it on the night stand and turned towards me, "Are you sure you got everything?"

My brain was still all dazzled from his touch, "Ummmm, sure?"

Then he smiled crookedly and raised an eyebrow at me, "I guess we're all set then."

I watched as he walked to the door and opened it, waiting for me. I looked at him and crossed my arms as I moved out into the hallway.

***

BPOV

The car ride back to the Cullen's was full of the electricity between us. The car was silent; Edward did not play any music, for which I was glad. Rain gently pattered against the windshield and the swoosh of the wipers, the purr of the engine, were a balm on my frazzled nerves. The rhythm of the wipers and vibration of the engine made me feel sleepy.

The only thing of interest to me was the play of tendons on Edward's forearm as he shifted the gears of the car and steered the wheel. Strength and tension radiated from his arms and I was mesmerized by the play of muscle and tendon as well as the green flames licking their way up his arms. It made me want to be closer and trace them with my fingers, my tongue.

We pulled into the drive, the large door to the garage open and Edward parked his car in an empty space. He said nothing to me as we exited the car, but I felt his presence behind me as he followed me into the house, our bags slung over his shoulder. I made my way to the staircase and pulled myself up, exhausted; my brain focused on taking my medication and going back to bed. I had forgotten to bring it with me and I worried that after last night's confession the nightmares would be worse. The images clearer and sharper, piercing me on the inside, making the wounds deeper.

I watched as he moved down the hall and opened the door to my room first. He went in and silently deposited my bag on the bed. Turning towards me, he walked over and looked down into my eyes. His eyes were smouldering and I thought he was going to kiss me again.

His hand reached up to my face and caressed my cheek. He leaned down and his lips were against my ear and his voice was low in my ear, "Try to get some rest." His voice set all my nerve endings buzzing with electrical currents as if he had just caressed me from head to toe. He heard my quick intake of breath and his mouth kicked up at one corner. Silently, he stepped away from me and walked out the door, shutting it behind him.

***

I awoke to voices out in the hall, angry but in a hushed way. It sounded like Alice and Edward.

"Edward, I didn't know he was going to take her out there until he decided to do it. His mind kept changing."

"She should never have been with him in the first place. We were supposed to be keeping a fucking eye on her!"

"If I had known he going to try something I would have never encouraged her to dance with him."

"You fucking encouraged her?!"

"Calm down and back off, Edward."

There was a loud masculine sigh.

Alice cleared her throat and said in a quiet voice, "We should probably take this downstairs."

I heard the sound of footsteps move down the hall and fade. I sat there, not knowing what to think. I glanced at the bedside table to check the time. I noticed a bottle of water sitting on the table and wondered who had put it there. The clock's digital face read 5:26. I took a sip from the bottle and lay back down in the bed. The soft patter of rain against the window lulled me back into a dark dreamless sleep.

***

EPOV

I had been sitting up in my room, idly flipping through my vast music collection contemplating re-organising it according to preference and then alphabetically. Currently is organised chronologically according to when I had discovered it, spanning my lifetime. I was getting fucking impatient, waiting for Alice and Jasper to come in. Bella and I had been home a few hours and I had checked in on her to find her fast asleep.

Esme and Carlisle had decided to take a long drive, Rose and Emmett were playing rugby on a beach with some guys that Emmett had hooked up with last night before he had pulled me into the bar.

I had no idea what Alice and Jasper had planned for the day and it was driving me crazy that they weren't home yet. I needed to talk to Alice about last night. All her life, Alice had been able to uncannily predict events about to happen. She had known that Bella was coming over this summer and had encouraged mom to write to her.

Why she hadn't seen that fucking James coming I needed to know.

Suddenly I heard the large garage door opening and the sound of a car pulling in. After a few moments the door leading to the garage creaked open and I heard them enter the house, Jasper's muffled voice saying he would take their bags downstairs. Alice's quiet footsteps were on the stairs.

Before she could knock on the door, I met her in the hallway.

Alice danced over to me and punched me in the shoulder.

"Alice, what the fuck?!"

"Excuse me, Edward? Use your words without the expletives."

"Fucking last night! How did you not see that asshole?! You only told me about two seconds into him bruising her!"

"Lower your voice," she glanced at Bella's door.

"Edward, I didn't know he was going to take her out there until he decided to do it. His mind kept changing." She put her hands on her hips and jutted her chin up.

"She should never have been with him in the first place. We were supposed to be keeping a fucking eye on her!" I snapped at her.

"If I had known he was going to try something I would have never encouraged her to dance with him."

"You fucking encouraged her?!"

"Calm down and back off, Edward." Alice's blue eyes angrily challenged mine.

I dragged in a breath to try and calm down, shoving my hand through my hair in frustration.

Alice cleared her throat and said in a quiet voice, "We should probably take this downstairs." Her eyes pointedly looked at Bella's door and then she motioned with her head the direction of the staircase.

I nodded and followed her down the hall and then down the stairs. We ended up standing in the living room, I crossed my arms and looked at her as she began.

"Look, I know you and she had a long heart to heart last night. You need to be very careful, Edward. She is very fragile."

"I fucking know she's fragile and I'm not even psychic!"

"I've seen it, Edward. I've seen her try to do something reckless to get herself killed. You need to tread lightly, here."

"Yeah well when you have something more concrete, let me know."

"What is your fascination with her, anyways?"

"What do you mean?"

"Edward, pardon me for being blunt, but you're a fuck'em and forget'em kind of guy. I know you haven't slept with her-"

"Fuckin-A, Alice!"

"See? This is what I mean. What's going on with you big brother?"

"Fuck you, Alice."

She giggled, like the tinkling of a bell, "You'll figure it out soon enough. Just remember what I said."

"Yeah yeah, what the fuck ever." I stalked off into another part of the house where Esme had made a special home for my piano. I sat down and began playing, not really noticing what it was as my mind was whirling from all that Alice had said but especially what she had left unsaid.

It wasn't exactly a take a ticket system, but I never had a problem with girls finding their way to my bedroom. Emmett and I both had worked our way through sorority houses while we were at college like it was a fucking buffet. Sure there were a few girls who last more than a week or so but they were few and far between. Then Emmett had met Rose one night while he was on his way out of our apartment building. They had actually run into each other and she had taken him for some frat guy asshole. I snickered remembering, not so much on the frat guy, but we were definitely assholes back then.

Emmett pursued Rose relentlessly until she agreed to go on a date with him. They had been inseparable ever since.

Which had left me on my own while they fucking snuggled and made goo goo eyes at each other on the couch. Well maybe not goo goo eyes, Rose just wasn't that kind of girl.

Was this what it had been like for Emmett, was Bella my Rose?

There was part of me that wanted to run for the hills and never fucking look back. Then there was this curious part that wanted to be closer to her, I was drawn to her, like it was almost painful to be away from her. These two sides of me were struggling against each other and I didn't know which one would win.

I continued to pound away at the keys, the song soothing me, familiar, until I realized I was unconsciously playing The Heart Asks Pleasure First from last night.

Fucking fuck.

***

BPOV

I had managed to mope about in my room the last few days, coming downstairs enough so I didn't seem impolite. I guess I was hiding, hoping I would avoid bumping into Edward.

His presence thrilled me but sometimes it was too much, too fast, like being on a rollercoaster, about to go over the big hill and realizing the security bar holding me in has become unlocked. It scared me, but a tiny voice in my head whispered: But you like it, don't you?

It was Thursday evening and I was sitting on the couch downstairs, the rest of the house quiet except for Esme and Carlisle watching a movie on TV. I was reading my book in one of the easy chairs, my legs curled up and covered in my mother's Afghan.

Alice suddenly made an appearance into the room and came over to my chair. She dropped down beside the chair and put her chin on the arm. "Come and hang out with me, I'm bored." She batted her big blue eyes at me.

"What do you want to do?" I folded the page down to mark my place, and closed my book. Her face brightened and she took one of my hands.

"Come with me for fish and chips. It's disgustingly good and I have an urge to be reckless with calories!" she smiled up at me.

I hesitated and she continued, "C'mon, we'll take a drive over and come back and watch something stupid down in my room. Please, pretty pretty please? Jasper's out with Edward and they won't be back until later on."

I smiled and nodded, "Yeah sure." I got up and folded the Afghan, reluctant to leave it on the couch,

Esme piped up, "Bella you can leave that there if you want. This is your house too." I smiled my thanks at Esme and laid it over the back of the armchair.

I jogged upstairs and got my wallet, and met Alice at the foot of the stairs. She dangled her car keys and led me into the garage. I wasn't sure which car was hers, but my eyes were drawn to Edward's and I wondered at how we had avoided each other all week.

"C'mon Bella!" Alice's voice pulled me out of my reverie and I blinked as I watched her pull the door open to a lemon yellow Porsche. Didn't these people have a normal car?

I got in and Alice turned the car on, the sounds of bubblegum pop music snapping in the air. Some girl group harmonized about not being able to speak French.

"So Bella, what kind of music are you into?" she asked as we drove down the driveway and pulled out onto the road.

"Umm, I'm not really stuck on one genre. I like all kinds of stuff. Who is this?"

"This girl group I found called Girls Aloud. They seem to be really huge over here," Alice's phone beeped and she pulled it out of the console. "That's a text from Rosalie. Can you see what she wants?" Alice handed the phone over to me and I opened the text:

Hey bitch u better bring me smthng back Guys r here Want 2 no if we want 2 go out x

I read the text to Alice and she giggled., "Guess we better get something for everyone. Tell her we'll get dinner for all of them and yes we're going out."

I quickly relayed the text back to Rosalie. There was another text back a few seconds later:

Make sure you bring back alcohol Boys want to go into Glasgow Get train? x

I read the text aloud and Alice considered this and nodded, "Tell her we'll be back in about fifteen and yes we'll take the train." I texted Rosalie back and put the phone back where Alice had it.

"Oh yay! This is going to be so much fun, Bella. We haven't been out together since we first got here. We've either been too busy or off doing our own thing. You're going to love it, the guys are hilarious together." She bounced in her seat bubbling with excitement.

We drove down the narrow street of a tiny little town, shops lining the street. Alice parked the car and got out and I opened my door to meet her on the narrow sidewalk. We went into a little corner shop and bought a large bottle of Bacardi. Alice led me outside and we walked down to a little place which Alice called the chippie. Inside there was a large metal case which had a glass window. Inside the case, which was warm to the touch, were various shapes which had been battered and deep fried.

The smells of French fries, salt and vinegar assailed my nostrils. Alice and I waited in the line until it was our turn and Alice ordered asked the attendant for fish and chips. I watched as the attendant went to work, scooping chips onto a sheet of paper she held in her hand and then placing each portion on the counter. Then she selected 6 pieces of fish which had been battered and deep fried. The attendant looked to Alice and me and asked if we wanted salt or vinegar on our fries.

Alice looked at me and I nodded my head. "Yes on two please. Thanks." The woman shook the shaker and squeezed brown vinegar onto three of the servings and then wrapped them all in more paper before putting them into a plastic bag. Alice paid for the food and we went back to the car, Alice turning the key in the ignition and the radio smacked out more girl group.

During a lull in the music, Alice turned towards me suddenly, "Do you have something to wear for tonight?" Before I could answer her, her eyes got a far away look and then she focused back on me, "That's ok, I think I've got the perfect thing for you." Then she smiled to herself, her eyes on the road and I swear I thought I heard her mutter something to the tune of, Edward will certainly be pleased.

So Edward will be going with us? Why wouldn't he, it's his family after all. Would it be weird? Had he known that I was purposely avoiding him all week?

We pulled up into the garage and Alice shut the door behind us using a switch. She parked the car as the massive door finished it's descent.

I helped her carry in dinner, and as we walked in, Esme shouted, "They're all down in the basement!"

Alice and I made our way downstairs towards her and Jasper's part of the house. Even though I'd been down here before I had been too jetlagged to take anything in. It was much bigger than my room, almost like a small apartment. Her bedroom was a door off to the left side, a lamp faintly glowing inside. There was what seemed to be a living room area with a comfy looking leather couch which had these huge pillows with fluffy stringy wool on them. They looked so soft and inviting and contrasted perfectly with the black leather.

Alice had a large TV mounted against the wall and on either side there were shelves built in with a vast video library. There was music blaring from somewhere and I noticed that there seemed to be a small alcove over to the right. I followed Alice over and saw Edward leaning over a pool table as Emmett and Jasper looked on, pool cues in hand. Rosalie stood off to the side, her arms folded across with a smirk on her face.

Emmett noticed us first, "Hey Tater Tot, come see Edward get his ass kicked at pool He thinks he's shit hot, watch him screw this up." He said this as Edward was about to take a shot. As his green eyes met mine, he was unable to stop and ended up scratching the cue ball into a corner pocket. His eyes held me and I could feel that electrical pull between us.

Alice left the food on a card table in the corner. "C'mon and eat it before it gets cold. Bella grab some before they tear into it. Yours and Edward's are on the bottom with the salt and vinegar. Rose c'mon so we can start getting ready."

I grabbed two out and dug for mine at the back. Alice and Rose had disappeared behind Alice's bedroom door and I could hear Alice's pop music banging inside. I entered the room and saw Rose sitting on the bed. We sat and unwrapped the fish and thick cut potato 'chips'. I ate but felt it was almost too stodgy for my stomach. Rose picked at hers as well and we both watched Alice in her closet, tossing things out. I heard her squeal and she danced out holding a small pair of black satin shorts and a strapless shimmery sea green top that poofed out at bottom rather than having a hem. It was gathered at the top and belled gracefully.

She shoved the ensemble at me and pointed to her ensuite bathroom. Alice snapped directions like a drill sergeant: "Put this on, now. Rose if you're almost finished, get up and get changed! I don't want to miss the train. Make sure they're getting ready out there as well."

I emerged from the bathroom, the shorts were really short. Alice smiled wickedly and beckoned me to sit down. As she sang along with Britney, I noticed that she had gotten ready at lightning speed, sitting in stretchy vinyl leggings and a sequined strappy camisole. Alice moved towards me, hairbrush in hand ready to do battle. She put my hair up in a high ponytail and curled the ends. She dug around in her jewellery box and found me a silver chain with a silver bow on it and a bangle covered in velvet and beads that was the same color as my top. Then she dragged out her make up and gave me smoky eyes and glossy lips.

She got a worried look on her face and went into the closet. I could hear her muffled voice, "Bella, I know you may not want to, but trust me I know these things. You will look so hot in these shoes. Please just try them and if it gets bad, I'll keep a pair of satin dolly shoes in my purse." She walked out of the closet holding a pair of black patent leather stilettos covered in rhinestones. There were little black leather bows at the toe of each shoe also covered in glittery jewels. I grudgingly put them on, giving her a look that screamed if I twist my ankle, I'm holding you personally responsible.

She smiled, "Don't worry, you'll be fine!"

She stood back to admire her work and I rolled my eyes as she oo'd and ah'd over me.

She finished her own make up and spiked her hair. Slipping on a pair of black sequined stilettos, she turned off the stereo and said, "We better get out there, I think the guys are ready."

Alice opened the door and the sounds of the guys still razzing each other around the pool table drifted to us as we joined them.

The guys were crowded around the pool table still, Jasper in a deep purple buttoned shirt and dark jeans, Emmett in a red Ralph Lauren polo shirt and loose jeans.

Edward was dressed casually and I saw Alice sigh and shake her head as she looked at him. He was wearing loose jeans and around his narrow waist was a black leather studded belt. He was wearing a black t-shirt that said FUCK YOU VERY MUCH, across the front. His hair was mussed as if he had just woken up and ran his fingers through it. My eyes were drawn to his forearms, his green flame tattoos making my mouth dry as usual.

Rose stepped forward in a hot pink bustier that had black flowers embroidered on it. She was wearing black skinny jeans and black patent leather spike heals and they put her height close to Emmett's. "If we're going, lets go!" she said loudly and everyone moved to leave.

"Fuck's sake, Munchkin! Where have you been hidin those legs?"

Edward looked up and froze, his eyes narrowing as they travelled from my sparkly stilettos, lingering on my legs to my thighs. His eyes rested on my chest and he finally arrived at my eyes.

"You can't fucking wear that!"


Oh Edward!

Reviewers get to have a FUCK YOU VERY MUCH tshirt. I have enabled anonymous reviews. Go for it. Srsly. But if you sign your name, I can respond to you. And I do respond. Srsly.

I have posted up more pics of Edwards kilt, they are on my profile. Thanks again for reading. xo