"Foda-se!" yelled Portugal, kicking the seemingly indestructible door of England's house. He yelled again, grabbing his foot, hopping around - then promptly fell into a spiky rose bush. "MERDA! PUTA QUE PARIU!"
Poland rolled her eyes. "Port, I've got a key," she told him, taking off her necklace and opening it up. She shook the key out into her hand and opened the door.
"You tell me that NOW, querida?!"
"Get up," she laughed, already feeling better. Her nose was full of tea, peppermint and soft dewy grass - exactly how England smelt. She wondered deeper into the house, hearing Portugal close the door behind them. "England?"
"ENGLAND!" yelled Portugal. She whacked him on the arm.
"Not so loud, you'll disturb the neighbours!" she hissed, beginning to sneak through the house. It felt like an old super-spy film, like she was James Bond's hot companion looking for the man, who would, presumably, be tied up in the back room. Portugal seemed to have caught on, because he was humming a terrible rendition of the James Bond theme tune which caused Poland to groan.
"Shut up."
"Da da da da!" He sang, then knocked over an expensive looking vase. "Uh oh."
"You're dead, bastard," yelled a voice and suddenly a foot made contact with Portugal's face, narrowly avoiding Poland as she shrieked and ducked. "Anything I do now is legal - Portugal?!" England said, as he rolled over the groaning nation onto his back. Poland stood up, flinging herself at England's back, holding onto him. "Oh, love..."
She felt him pat her hands and she left go of him, punching him in the chest as he turned to face her. "Where have you been?! I've been going out of my mind! You idiot! How dare you abandon me at those meetings!" Now that she knew England was safe, and her initial sadness had faded, she was filled with anger. She screamed and hit his chest again, then pulled back her perfectly manicured hand to do so a third time when he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a hug.
Instantly, she melted into his arms, feeling safe again. This is your safe space. This is your safe space. Remember.
"Oh Felicity," he murmured, placing his chin on her head. "I never meant to cause you so much harm. How about a nice cup of tea and we'll talk about it?"
"Fine."
"You're still mad..."
"Hmpf!" Poland was mad, but she was reluctant to leave his warm embrace. England rarely doled out hugs, only when she was particularly upset or stressed. So his hugs were very important to her, both as a sign of affection, and knowing that he hadn't hardened his heart... She was afraid he was closing himself off.
"Argh..." Portugal groaned, face still bleeding. "I think you broke my nose!" he said. England gave him a kick, before pulling him up and leading the two to the sofa.
"Well you shouldn't have broken my vase."
"YOU DID THAT BECAUSE I BROKE A VASE?!"
"And because I thought you were an intruder. But, mainly the vase."
"Argh... Why am I friends with you, you puta..."
"How the hell do I know what's going on in that head of yours? After all, it's just liquid." England hurried away before Portugal realised his insult and began yelling profanities at him. He was silenced however, when England dumped an ice pack on his face. Poland had begun giggling, and to her surprise, England started as well, and Portugal (as best he could).
It was mainly to release the tension, and afterwards they fell into a comfortable silence. Poland, noticing England was preoccupied with Portugal's face, got up to answer the door. "Hey! Who's there -"
"Poland? Where's Angleterre?"
Hey everyone! How are you all? It's near the end of the hols over in Britain *groan* I have to go and deal with stuffy, caffeinated teachers again... How I long for stuffy, green tea teachers :(
Also I got a guest review so Guest (if that is your name) I know they seem like two weird subjects to tackle at the same time, but who in the fandom is sane anyway? XD Also I was raging when I first started this because my parents kept bad-mouthing trans people (old people amirite) so this mash up came along.
And the whole Poland and trans people thing, I had no idea about. But apparently 95% of Brits are scared of eyebrows so I guess England has a slight problem too ahahaaha XD
The view on the German invasion, I have no idea about either so I'll take your word for it. I don't mean to be offensive and it's not something I'll build on so you can tell your Polish friends to chill :)
Greetings from Britain!
