He says close your eyes

Sometimes it helps

And then I get a scary thought

That he's here means he's never lost.

Russian Roulette – Rhianna

Chapter 7

The meadow had changed over time. The purple flowers didn't seem to blossom anymore. The grass was still green, from the constant rain Forks always provides.

I chucked my bag on the ground and laid down. How could he do something like that to me? After everything?

90 years. I had been without him for 90 years. I had always felt something missing in my life, never fully complete. Then he walked in, and something inside of me lit up. Lit up with hope, that maybe, maybe we could go back to the way things were.

But he didn't. He said himself "I don't have to explain myself to you." All hope of ever being whole again was ripped out of me. And he didn't notice one bit.

And that girl, who was that girl? Was it really his girlfriend? She was pretty enough to. I had only caught a glimpse of her but I knew she was a vampire aswell. Forks high was getting more and more supernatural. If Lauren turned out to be a witch, I wouldn't be surprised.

I looked up at the sky, it had turned a light grey color and I could see that it was about to rain. "Well doesn't this just bring back old memories." I mumbled to myself.

I closed my eyes and decided to think of the moments where I thought I'd seen Edward over the 90 years.

The first was Charlie's funeral. Charlie had died 8 years after I had 'gone missing'. I remembered having no where to go, no one to talk too. So every night I went to my house while Charlie was asleep, and sit in my room. I made sure not to move anything, because Charlie, being a cop, would notice something different straight away.

I remembered one night, sitting on my bed, looking at pictures of Edward and I when I heard Charlie crying. He cried the whole night, wishing I would come home.

It broke my heart that had put him in so much pain and could do nothing about it.

His funeral was a lot to take in for me. I didn't know what to expect there, and I didn't know if anyone would notice me. A lot actually did, but I just clearly explained to them that I was Bella's cousin. Some believed, some had to believe because they knew I wasn't that young. But one person did see through my disguise.

It was Charlie's best friend, Billy. He took Charlie's death the hardest. I managed to talk to him, saying that I hadn't seen Bella in awhile either, and hoped that he would believe me.

But he didn't, instead he just said these words. "I know it's you Bella. You can't fool me. I don't know what you are or how you have managed to pull of looking 17 for the past 8 years, but just know that Charlie loved you and missed you everyday. I hope you live a good life and I know Charlie would be proud of you no matter what you are now." That was the last time I saw Billy Black. He was part of the Quileute tribe, so he knew there were things in this world that no one knew about.

After that I decided to leave, just in case anyone else noticed. And that's when I thought I saw him, standing in the corner, hidden by dark shadows. He was looking down, but I knew that hair. I stopped, looked harder, but no one was there.

The second time I thought I had seen Edward was while I was hunting. Forks wasn't always full of animals so I did move around a bit. This time I thought I saw him in San Francisco, drinking from a deer. When I ran to the place I thought he was in, no one was there. It was like my mind wanted me to believe he was still alive, but my heart knew otherwise.

Were they real sightings? Was it really my mind just playing tricks on me or was it actually Edward?

All these questions filled my head, and before I knew it, it had started to rain.

So here I was, once again, sitting in the meadow soaking wet, wishing my best friend would come back.

Suddenly I heard the crunching of a stick underneath someone's foot. My head whipped around to see who it was.

It was the person I had least expected to see here. I gulped as Edward walked over me. He was soaking wet. I stood up, not realizing how wet I really was.

"What do you want, Edward?" I said softly. I tried to look annoyed, but really I was still very hurt by his words. I didn't know what expression I wore on my face, I just hoped it was convincing.

"I came to apologize." He said. "I didn't mean what I said in biology."

I scoffed. "Really? Because it seemed pretty convincing to me."

He frowned, and I knew I had hurt his feelings. "I didn't know what to say, Bella. I haven't seen you for 90 years, how am I supposed to react?"

"I reacted quite fine, to be honest Edward. I just wanted to know where you have been all this time and what you have been doing. For 90 years I believed you were dead, believed that I was never going to see you again." I said, my voice cracking.

"I want to start over again. Pretend this morning didn't happen." He said, trying to reason with me. I looked at him. Then I sighed. "Your words really hurt me this morning. Why did you say them?"

"Because I didn't know what to do. I was shocked. I didn't know if you were real or just another part of my imagination. I seem to want to say something, but my mouth says the opposite." He said.

"I'm confused." I sighed. "Before you didn't want to see me, saying that you don't have to explain anything to me. Now, you want me to be your friend and act like this morning didn't break my heart?"

"That, I can understand. I shouldn't of said those things this morning, I didn't mean them. I'm sorry." He said in an apologetic voice.

That was the first time in my whole entire life that Edward had said sorry for hurting me. I had seen him say sorry to lots of people, and I knew his apologies were sincere.

"Oh, wait. I have something for you." He said, grabbing something from under his coat. He looked at it for a second, then handed it to me. I gasped. It was the photo frame I had just thrown out the window before I came here of Edward and I. "How..?" I stuttered. He looked at me, and a small smile played with his lips. "You really haven't been a vampire for 90 years, have you?" He said. "Of course I have! I was changed a few days after you died." I said, looking at the frame. It wasn't smashed at all, but there were a few scratches. "Please, Bella. Forgive me? Lets start over. Forget this morning ever happened." He repeated.

"Okay." I said, lifting my eyes off the frame and to his face. "But will you explain to me why you are here? I mean, alive? Or dead…? I saw your heart monitor go flat, I was at your funeral!" I said, throwing my hands up in there air.

He smiled his crooked smile. "That I can explain. But not here." He said. "Why?" I said, getting annoyed. "Well, one, because its pouring with rain. And two, because I need you to meet someone."

He grabbed my hand and pulled, and I was guessing in the direction of his house.