Once Rodentia had left the principal's house, Buster hurried to the side of his shaken friend. "Hey, what's wrong?" he inquired. "You don't look good."

Scrunchy breathed deliberately, as if fighting to calm himself. "I-I'm all right," he told the rabbit boy. "Just a bit startled, that's all."

"I think I can guess why," said Buster knowingly. "She tried to kiss you, didn't she?"

Scrunchy nodded weakly. "She did kiss me," he admitted. "It wasn't that much of a kiss, but I…I wasn't expecting it."

Buster shuddered with fear. "That's what girls do," he cautioned the man. "They sneak up on you and suck you in with the kissing, and the sweet talk, and the lipstick, and the perfume, and by the time you notice how gross and icky they are, it's too late—you're in love."

Scrunchy responded with a wry smile. "Gross and icky," he said softly. "Yeah, that's right."

"Finally, someone understands," said Buster, and he gleefully punched the pig-faced man's arm.


Night began to fall upon a difficult day. Sue Ellen returned to the house where she lived with the Krantzes, to see a not-so-welcome face waiting for her. "Hey, good lookin'," said Binky Barnes.

"Uh, hi," said Sue Ellen with more than a hint of uneasiness.

"Relax," said Binky. "Mrs. Krantz explained everything."

Sue Ellen felt a tingle of relief. "Then you know that other girl wasn't me," she said hopefully.

The bulldog boy nodded. "You don't have to be my girlfriend if you don't want to."

The weight lifted from her shoulders, Sue Ellen took a seat on the couch at his side. "Thanks," she said warmly. "You were a crappy boyfriend in the other dimension."

"Wanna watch wrestling?" said Binky, picking up the remote control.

"You know I don't," said Sue Ellen flatly.

Their minds wandered in silence for a few moments. "Binky," the cat girl spoke up, "tell me about some of the things anti-Sue did while she was here."

Binky smiled wistfully. "She was one freaky chick. About all she ever talked about was how Yordilians are superior to humans."

"Ugh," groaned Sue Ellen. "I had to listen to that all the time. Everything about the Yordilians is superior—their literature, their music, even their bathroom habits."

"She was horrible to George," Binky went on. "She called him Nerdgren all the time. And after she got her hands on the magic sphere, she was even scarier."

"Magic sphere?" said Sue Ellen curiously.

"There was this weird round object," Binky related. "It gave you the power to make people obey your commands. D.W. had it, and everybody she touched turned into a zombie, and everybody the zombies touched turned into a zombie too. Then Sue had it, and she told Beat to take a flying leap, and you can guess what happened."

"Oh," said the cat girl. "Is that how she broke her rib?"

Binky nodded again.

Sue Ellen sighed. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Fern's dead. With all the fantastical things that happen in Elwood City, I should be surprised that any of us is still alive."


The Crosswire condo included a small room which the family used as an office. Unlike the spacious "war room" of their former mansion, it barely offered enough space for the file cabinets. Ed Crosswire, therefore, was unable to recline his back as he sat, sulking, on an office chair. If Mel Cooper wants a fight, then by gum, I'll give him one, he thought bitterly.

Mrs. Crosswire entered after an hour or so of silence. "You look like Achilles in his tent," the monkey woman remarked. "Would you like your dinner now?"

The sullen man shook his head. "I'm not eating one bite of food until Muffy is back with us," he declared.

"Oh, Ed," said his wife flippantly. "Last week you swore you wouldn't eat a bite of food until I changed the bed linens."

"This is different," said Crosswire. "This time, I mean it more."

In the bed once occupied by Catherine Frensky, Muffy sighted and giggled. "Right now, he's probably sitting in that horrible chair, with no room to lean back," she speculated. "And he's muttering to himself, 'If Mel Cooper wants a fight, then by gum, I'll give him one.'"

Francine, in the opposite bed, chuckled. "It's déjà vu all over again," she quipped.

"Thanks for letting me crash here tonight," said Muffy to her friend.

"What are friends for?" said Francine.

"Now that Fern's dead," said Muffy grimly, "I guess you're my best friend again."

"Yyyyup," said Francine.

Muffy, clad in light blue pajamas that Francine had loaned her, turned onto her side. "If Fern were still around, I could live at her house," she mused.

"Why not stay with us?" asked Francine.

"Because," Muffy replied, "any day now Catherine and Mitch are gonna show up at your door and say, 'We can't afford a decent apartment. Can we move in?'"

"I'm sure Cath and Mitch will be fine," said Francine. "Mitch should have no trouble providing for her. He's got his own car, after all."

As the girls became drowsy, another question occurred to Muffy. "So, are you all done with the Christian thing?"

Francine yawned briefly and answered, "Yeah. Pokey turned out to be not much of a hero. I expected him to teach my dad a lesson, but instead he just stood there, taking punch after punch."

"It's called 'turning the other cheek'," Muffy told her.

"Whatever," said Francine sleepily.

"It's what Jesus would have done," said Muffy.

"You kiddin' me?" said Francine. "Jesus would've fried my dad with a bolt of lightning."

Francine's dad, at that moment, was in a profound slumber…until the sudden ringing of the telephone yanked him into the waking world.

"It's for you, Oliver," groaned Mrs. Frensky.

He climbed out of the bed, mumbling something about the parentage of a person who would call at such a late hour. Grabbing the receiver, he blurted out, "Hello, who is it?"

"Frensky, this is Jim Polk." The sound of the voice irritated him further.

"Whaddya want, Polk?" he grumbled.

A second of tense silence went by before Pokey answered, "A rematch."


To be continued