AN: I hope you'll enjoy my newest song that I borrowed to Shuichi. :)

Please read and review afterwards! puppy eyes

--

Something snapped inside his chest. He was recalling his mistakes. He was calling them 'sins' rather that mistakes.

Flashback

"You're going out again?"

"Yes."

"When are you going to go out with me?"

"As soon as I find some time, Shuichi."

"And you've got time for whoever it is, just not me! And don't tell me you're going out to meet the editor!"

Eiri snorted and rolled his eyes.

"And what are you going to do about it?" he asked.

"Oh, you'll see!" the singer was yelling, his face was becoming crimson. "You'll see!"

But he never did anything.

--

Another incident about going out.

"What are you gonna do about it? To forbid me?"

"Yes."

Eiri laughed. "Don't be stupid." he said.

This time Shuichi ran to K and spent there four days crying, crying, crying…

"Shuichi's just a child. How old is he? Twenty?"

"Twenty-one, actually." Eiri corrected him.

"He's been crying because of you for days. If he doesn't stop crying, he'll make me kill him. So please take him home." said K over the phone.

Of course K was worried for Shu and what he actually wanted to say was: "Take him home and don't be such an ass again".

But Eiri never cared to read between the lines everything K had ever said.

End flashback

And the pain was real. Something really snapped inside him. Later he found out it was heart. It was for real. It shattered. It hurt.

He was packing his things and was almost ready to leave the hospital. But his soul refused to meet the real world again.

--

Shuichi was now twenty-six. He's been with Eiri since he was nineteen. Sven years of love, suffer, pain and rare moments of welfare and happiness.

Shuichi was feeling so old despite he was still very young.

He was determined to forget his lover.

It was still winter. He was singing like a bird. In the studio, he gave an illusion of a spring. His voice was making people touch the stars.

But from the inside, Shuichi knew winter would never leave. He had to pretend. It was too late to be forgotten. And that was the story of how one nasty scar was born.

All the scars inside me

Are burning like living hell.

Everything I've ever done

Will be covered by veil.

When the soul dies,

There's only a husk.

An automatic body

That is covered with dust.

Because I don't use it

I don't want it.

I don't need it.

He was singing and singing and Sakano was recording and was very surprised by the sudden power in Shuichi's voice. He gave the soul to the words. He gave them meaning.

And Hiro's guitar was crying melodically, melting perfectly with Shuichi's voice.

My life can't stop,

But I don't feel alive.

Maybe my purpose is to suffer.

To suffer until I die.

I'm afraid of the world around me

When there's no one who can save me.

When you lose your treasure,

You'll never again feel pleasure.

And my treasure was you.

Everything, you are to me,

Inside my being.

Ran away from me forever.

In the end, I ran away from you.

You ran away.

Understand me now.

Knowing you never loved me

I had to do it. To you, I was just one in the row.

When the soul dies,

There's only a husk.

An automatic body

That is covered with dust.

Everybody was amazed by the song. It was obvious that Shuichi could never forget. He just wasn't that kind of person. He dedicated himself to Eiri, even after the breakup.

The only thing he really knew, aside of singing, was to love, to give himself completely to ones he loved. And Yuki was more than love to him.

Shuichi was well known for exaggerating. The thing he was feeling for Eiri, was pure adoration. Blind adoration.

And he wasn't even aware of the fact that he wrote the acrostic. He was obsessed, not even knowing that.

Some people would laugh at his obliviousness, but that would be cruel. He was just a fragile soul in search of salvation.

Tohma smiled when he heard the song. The melody was beautiful, Shuichi's voice better than ever.

"What did you do to him? I'm impressed." he asked Hiro in his office.

Hiro was sitting opposite him, scratching his head.

"Well, not much. I just grabbed him and shook him and yelled at him."

"Like a shock-therapy. I'd love if that could wake other lazy bugs that work here." Tohma chuckled, "But this miracle rarely happens. We were lucky." he winked at the musician.

'If only it could work on you' he thought.

"Yeah." Hiro said nervously, avoiding Tohma's look. "Have you read the lyrics?"

"No. Should I?"

Hiro smiled. He took the paper from the pocket. "Read the last strophes."

Tohma took the paper, not sure why he should read.

Then, when he read it, a smile crossed his face.

"Do you think what I think?"

Hiro nodded. "We must never let Yuki read this."

"What?!" he was observing Hiro with surprise. He never expected that.

"Yuki must never read this. Because he already knows what he represents to Shuichi. It is time for him to show Shuichi his love."

"He wrote a novel." Tohma pointed out. "He wrote a novel about them."

"That isn't enough. Those are just cheap words. He lives from writing such fluffy things!" Hiro lost his temper all of a sudden. "Deeds, Tohma! Not words! I won't let him hurt Shuichi again."

With that, he stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind.

Tohma was still sitting in his chair, blinking several times in surprise. It was strange how Hiro practically begged him to read between the lines, that he was saying about the two of them, but he shrugged the feeling. He refused to believe. Then he turned his gaze back to the paper in his hand. He read the acrostic again.

"Hmm…Nice." he smiled. "Eiri definitely must see this!"

--

"It's time to leave." said the blonde to the other blonde, smiling.

"Yes."

"Where would you like to go?"

"Home." Eiri replied.

"Why don't we drink coffee first?" offered Tohma. "I have to show you something."

Eiri didn't like how it sounded. And that weird smirk on Tohma's face was worrying him.

--

Everything, you are to me,

Inside my being.

Ran away from me forever.

In the end, I ran away from you.

You ran away.

Understand me now.

Knowing you never loved me

I had to do it. To you, I was just one in the row.

He read the lyrics in one small café, far away from downtown. It was there for celebrities like him, offering full discretion. Tohma was sitting opposite him, observing his face expressions.

When he finished reading, Tohma asked, all excited:

"So, what you think? You still have a chance!"

"This is just coincidence." the novelist replied flatly.

Tohma laughed.

"You really never want to accept the truth."

"The truth is I screwed up. The truth is it would be better for him to be without me. The truth is I am tired and I want to go home. Now if you'll excuse me." he stood up, not finishing his coffee.

Before Tohma could react, Eiri stopped one cab and sped off the road.

He shook his head, taking a sip of his own coffee. He was preparing to go into cold again.

Maybe Hiro was right. He didn't even want to think what Hiro would tell him if he found out that he gave the lyrics to Eiri. He screwed up. And his intentions were good this time.

It was the irony of life, when you want the best to others, you end up miserable. Luck never looks at you.

"Fuck" he muttered.

--

TBC…?