I had taken to singing for Enma just about every night. For some reason he had come to love the Jellyfish song I so shamelessly ripped off from my own world. Of course, there was a possibility the game existed here as well, but I doubted it was well known if it did. Regardless, I happily obliged each time, now making it a routine of sorts to sing Enma to sleep before spending the night talking to Mukuro about anything between heaven and earth. The only thing I never discussed with him was my death.
Knowing what he might be going through, though he never mentioned it, I didn't want to discuss such things with him, in fear that it would bring back bad memories for him. And I had to admit, I didn't particularly want to discuss it either.
But when Mami and Enma effectively closed me in one evening, each on either side of me in Mami's bed having just been read a story, and asked me about my family, I caved in almost instantly. The combined forces of Enma's and Mami's puppy eyes were simply too much for me to handle. Giving them both a pat on the head, I let out a sigh and a shake of the head.
"Well… My family is a bit different from yours, I guess. I don't really remember my mother, because she died when I was very little… But, I do have siblings. An older brother, who liked to tease me a lot, but he always stood up for me. And a little brother. He's really cute, although… when I think about it, maybe not quite as cute as Enma here," I spoke, gradually gaining a teasing tone to my words. Said redhead flushed, sending me a pout and a weak glare. If anything, it made him look even cuter.
"As for my dads..." I trailed off, crossing my arms.
"Dads? As in, several?" Mami asked, a look of confusion on her face.
I nodded, closing my eyes.
"A few years after my mother passed, my dad remarried. I was really surprised at first, when he married another man, but they're both wonderful people. They took really good care of me and my brother, and I loved them very much. I don't think I could've asked for a better second dad."
I couldn't keep the smile off of my lips. Even though I couldn't remember everything about them, I still got this warm feeling when thinking about them.
I just wish I could remember their names though…
"Sorry about your mama…" Mami mumbled a moment later, making me ruffle her hair.
"It's alright. I missed her every once in a while, but… I was told she wasn't in any pain, and she had been smiling the whole time, so I think that even though she knew she was passing on, she did so without regrets, knowing we'd be looked after well."
While I had quickly explained myself, I had a difficult time not showing my surprise. Most children weren't quite aware of just what death was, and yet both of them had sent me looks of comfort, rather than confusion. It slightly unsettled me that Makoto or their mother had already explained the concept of death to their children, but perhaps such a thing was normal in this world.
A pressure in my sides snapped me out of my thoughts. Glancing back and forth, I noticed how both of the children had scurried closer, throwing their arms around me. I found myself thinking that, if only there were more people like the two children next to me, the world would be a better place.
I put each of my arms around them, pulling them just a bit closer. It couldn't hurt to stay like that for a little while, I concluded. Besides, from previous experiments I had figured out that if their parents were to walk in, to them it would simply look like Enma and Mami were hugging eachother, rather than thin air. It was all very confusing, but I had decided not to dwell on it too much.
Holding onto them like this, reminded me of my own older brother, who'd comfort me and my younger brother in a similar way, whenever we were sad. While it filled me with warmth, I couldn't stop the sudden urge to cry. But I didn't want Enma and Mami to see me like that. I wanted to see them smile, to be happy. And I doubted crying would make them happy. If anything, they would probably feel guilty for prying.
But once their breaths slowed and their eyes closed I allowed the tears to fall. I wanted to be happy for them, I really did. But at times I felt nothing but sadness, worried about the future, missing the past.
At that moment, a familiar sensation surrounded me, and I slowly closed my eyes, willing myself to stop crying. I would have enough to explain to Mukuro as it was.
Mukuro felt conflicted. He had called Tomo here as a selfish means of escaping his own fears and pain, but when she had appeared, her eyes were red, a clear sign she had been crying. And yet, one part of him didn't want to let her go, despite the clear discomfort she was experiencing. And so he didn't.
"You've been crying," he stated eloquently, ignoring the voice in the back of his head telling him that he should've been quiet.
Tomo frowned, crossing her arms, displeasure obvious in her expression.
"And you're a brat."
Mukuro couldn't argue with that, though he'd never admit such a thing out loud. Instead he stepped closer to the woman before him, studying her face.
"Fight with your little friends?"
She scoffed.
"Hardly... I just got a bit nostalgic, that's all…"
Mukuro could tell she was forcing the words out. Though he didn't mention it, he felt slightly thankful she was being honest, even if she was reluctant to tell him the truth.
"They asked about my family, and I told them. It made me a bit teary-eyed, okay..?"
Mukuro grew confused, as he did remember Tomo mentioning her family once before. And he remembered she had said they were all well except for her mother. Upon seeing his expression of thought, Tomo seemed to realize what he was thinking.
"It's not that they're hurt or anything… It's just that I can't see them anymore."
"Can't… see them anymore?"
This was news to Mukuro. While he felt some anger upon not being told this before, he couldn't exactly claim he had been very open about himself, for that matter.
"Surely you must have noticed something strange about me?"
He had, but never mentioned such a thing, as he had other things on his mind most of the time. It hadn't seemed like something important at the time either, for that matter. She hadn't shown signs of being dangerous, after all.
He frowned, hearing her sigh.
"How… how should I put this?" she started, a conflicted expression on her face.
"I'm… I'm dead, basically. A spirit. And yes, I know it sounds unbelievable. I'm not sure I'd believe myself if I hadn't… you know…"
Dead.
A spirit.
Unbelievable? Perhaps to someone else. Mukuro knew more about death than most, and to him who had now suffered through three reincarnations, something like this was not particularly hard to believe.
Mukuro didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
So he did both.
When Mukuro had begun laughing hysterically, only to start crying, I didn't know what to feel. I wanted to hug him, to comfort him, but this was Mukuro. Even as a child, I doubted he would allow me. And so I stood there, watching him silently. Waiting for him to calm down. But he didn't.
I counted seconds, minutes until finally, an hour.
By now, Mukuro had been reduced to a whimpering mess, leaning up against a tree he'd summoned. His arms encircled his knees and his face was bowed down, making me only able to see the top of his head. I could see his shoulders shaking, and soft sobs left his lips. Despite my earlier assumptions, I walked up to him before crouching down in front of him. Hesitating for a moment, I slowly brought my arms around him, before pulling him slightly forward into my embrace. I could feel his body go tense, but he made no move to shake me off.
I lost track of just how long we remained like that, but by the time Mukuro dispelled the illusion, it was well after dark in the real world.
Mukuro hadn't said a word. He had simply gone quiet before softly pushing me away. After that, the illusion had faded away, as it always would at the end of our get-togethers.
I worried he wouldn't see me again, a frown tugging at my lips.
Letting out a sad sigh, I glanced at the two red haired kids at my sides.
Oh how I wished I could sleep just like them.
Ritsu: Ok! Now, there shouldn't be any more angst for a while now. I just needed to get this out of the way! Yes, some character development on both Tomo and Mukuro's side. Tomo does miss her family, and it does make her sad she's losing her memories of them. And yes, she has two dads and two brothers. I'll be making a short omake in a future chapter with a POV from her family's side, and how they're dealing with the situation. The next few chapters will focus on Tomo, Enma and Mami. Also… I feel like I should explain why Mukuro reacted like he did… so I'll try.
Basically, let's not forget that Mukuro is only a year older than Enma (If my math is correct.). He's still a kid. A kid that's gone through a lot of stuff. And while he becomes well… the way he does, that's after everything. The Mukuro I portray here, is in the midst of the experiments and don't yet possess the power to escape, which is why I've shown a more vulnerable and weaker side of him. Moreover, he found out someone he at least considers a semi-friend, or a source of comfort, is actually dead. So he found out he's been talking to someone dead the entire time. I would go a little insane too. And Mukuro's just a child. Eventually he cracks too. Perhaps not so much as an adult, but I believe it is very possible as a child.
