A/N: This chappy will be slightly…disturbing and graphic. You were warned. Also, to the reviewer Nonnie, it's called narcissism.
Curly
Chapter theme song: 'Drop the World' by: Lil Wayne ft. Eminem
"Turn."
I watched the orange and red color spectrum before me dance and glisten against the night sky. The smell of ash, the heat that kissed my skin as I stood waiting, it was all something that I desperately found myself needing. I found an abandoned lot to take out my frustrations there, finding that if I stayed any more around civilian life I would find myself seriously hurting someone.
I prayed more gasoline, watching the burning car breathe out a gust of high-pitched flames that could touch the sky. I let out a hearty cackle, throwing in some plywood and tin cans I found in piles of recyclables for an added effect. I looked at the dead cat I had mutilated and decapitated, ready to sacrifice it to my savior. I grabbed it by its tail, throwing it into the fire and watching it turn into dust; wiping small trails of blood off my hands and onto the pants of Chuck, the security guard I had gag and bound when he had tried to have me arrested for trespassing. Apparently this was a government owned lot that had restricted access. Who knew? There was no sign as far as I could tell.
"Press your thumb prints in the black ink and place each finger in their designated box."
I sighed, doing as told while trying to get even somewhat comfortable in these handcuffs. They were beginning to itch.
Chuck squirmed, trying to get his walkie-talkie out of his back pocket to call the other guards on duty a few miles East at the other location. I punched him one good time to get him to stop screaming through the makeshift gag and kicking me. He fell still, looking at me with fearful eyes that begged for his life. I just smirked, removing his walkie-talkie from his pocket before throwing that into the burning vehicle. He tried to say something but I was not listening and damn sure did not care about what he had to say.
I raided his jacket pocket, pulling out a package of gum. I asked him for a piece, thanking him as he nodded before replacing it back in his holder. I informed him to stop pissing me off before he made me really angry; I was not in the mood to play games. I had no intentions of hurting the guy but any sudden movements would only result in me acting on instinct and impulse, two things he wanted to steer clear of if he knew what was best for him.
The guard had dragged me back to my cell, shoving me into the cold chamber before locking the metal gate. I was in a room with a teenage whore, a heroin fiend, and some homeless guy accused of battery. I took my seat next to the fiend, closing my eyes before resting my head against the cool concrete walls of holding. I called my parents but they didn't answer so I decided to leave a voicemail letting them know where I was and how I got there.
I shook my head, replaying the events of late last night. I was in such a frenzy that I completely blacked out and found myself waking to nothing but chaos.
I picked up a handful of dirt, smearing the damp earth onto my face and arms before yelling into the night. Ripping off my jacket, I stripped down to nothing but my underwear and undershirt. I had grown so hot that I the mere touch of my clothes had the feeling of shredded glass. I lit another match, spraying another trail of gasoline around the lot before throwing the remainder of the can into a heap of scrap metal and rubber tires; the match following right after that lit up the night sky like the fourth. I let a small smile sneak across my face, finally feeling happiest I have felt in weeks.
A rhythm only I could hear began to beat against my soul, causing me to do some satanic ritual dance that I have never heard of a day in my life. I saw a live rat in my peripheral, giving a toothy grin when I chased the little rodent around the stack of burning metal until it became entrapped in a melting glass jar. It began to squeal and squirm, biting at my hand as I tried to force it into sudden death. It bit my middle finger, small drops of blood spilling against his fur when I pulled away violently. I let out a carnivorous growl, smashing the Mason jar against the wet concrete. The vermin didn't move, only making me even angrier. I gripped it by the stomach, squeezing it until its eyes turned a dusty orange. I grew tired of playing with my food, finally biting off its head.
"Thaddeus Gamelthorpe?"
I raised my head, looking at the officer that called my name. "Yes?"
"You had someone post bail for you, you're free to go."
I silently stood, being escorted out by two large men who shoved me all the way to retrieve my shoes, clothes, and wallet. The un-cuffed me, giving me a slip of paper as well as a business card that had my hearing date and who to contact if I needed subsidized representation. I didn't even have time to fully dress myself before I was yanked outside and tossed into the parking lot like useless trash. I wanted to retaliate but decided against it to avoid being back at square one in a cold, hard cell. There was a car that drove up towards me.
Sirens and lights flashed repeatedly outside the metal gates securing the perimeter. I threw what was left of my carcass into the fire before poaching it on a stick; running around and waving it freely to the Nigerian national anthem. Three officers had forced themselves through the gate and ordered me to not make any sudden movements. I decided to become athletic and give them a show by doing a few cartwheels and back flips before jumping onto a semi-broken trampoline. I waved my burning flag with pride, screaming in tongue a bunch of nonsense about anti-Semitism and anarchy.
More cops came flooding in, holding guns as they aimed at me; ordering me to settle down and not make any unwise decisions that could cost me my life. At this point, I didn't give a damn. I felt dead anyway.
The ride back to her place was a quiet one, but smooth none-the-less. She didn't say anything, only listening to the sounds of Coltrane and the occasional Beetles song every now and again. It was a little after five in the morning and I knew she was tired. She had just got off from working a double shift at the diner on Clark and even still had on her uniform; smelling of burnt French-fries and grease. I didn't dare say anything the entire time we rode in silence. There were a few times I wanted to say something to her but decided against it.
We arrived to her place in about a half hour, traffic being light since it was still so early in the morning and the station not being that far from her house. I thanked her for picking me up and told her I would reimburse her the money she had spent in order to bail me out later that afternoon when I would stop by my parent's cleaners to pass out payroll. She didn't say anything, only removing her apron and nametag in response before disappearing into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
I took a spot on the couch, careful not to make any sudden noises to wake her father. I began to drift off to sleep before I felt a hot, stinging flap hand across my face. My eyes shot open to be met with another on the other side, tears streaming down her face in silence. I just looked at her, pulling her closer towards me. She still didn't say anything and instead tried to hit me again.
I caught her hand in mid-air, my eyes never breaking from hers. She attempted to wriggle out of my grasp but it only made me clutch her tighter. "Are you mad?" It was a stupid question to ask but the only possible thing I could think of. She looked at me with pure disgust, wanting to slap me again but ended up failing.
"Unlawful imprisonment? Arson? Assault and Battery? Trespassing? Unlawful use of a weapon? Theft? Destruction of federal property?" I grew quiet as she went on with my laundry list of charges filed against me. She sighed. "Curly, I don't know what to say."
"Then say nothing." I breathed, pushing her off of me and onto the couch. I wanted to get up to go outside and clear my head but she yanked me back down by my collar, forcing me to face her.
"What has gotten into you?!" she shouted. "Ever since that night you have been acting different. I don't like the person you have become."
That made two of us. "Let it go."
"No, I can't." she pushed herself onto me. "You have grown more distant, angrier, moodier, and been on edge since the last night you were over my home." There was a pregnant pause before she spoke again, this time her voice cracking. "Those drugs you are taking again are turning you into a monster."
I swallowed, looking at her with lifeless eyes. She remained still, glaring into the depths of my soul to find the man she had fallen in love with and not the shell of his former self that sat before her. I picked back up my addiction with haste, finding myself unable to function properly without something to stimulate my on the daily basis since the night I cracked. The regular stuff was not doing what I needed for it to do anymore and I finally resorted to downing mollies on the regular. I initially kept my distance away from the stuff but since smoking it that night with Serena, it became impossible to stay away. It was like becoming lifted from your body into an unknown dimension where you are just a passerbyer in the story of your life. You're there but you aren't really there.
Serena didn't like the man I had become since then, and started to wane herself from me as a result. Truth was, the man I was and the man she thinks I am are one in the same while the man that rests before her is completely different- a truth stranger than fiction in its rawest form. Serena does not know the real me and part of me doesn't want her to.
"I better go." I dismissed her concern, standing to leave. "I'll stop by later to repay you for the bail money."
"What has gotten into you, Thaddeus?" She cried out, bawling as she fell to the floor. I glanced over my shoulder, emotionless, to watch in sadistic pleasure. I felt my heart grow numb as my mind wandered into a darkness I had not ventured into in such a long time. "I don't like this new you. Please talk to me; I want to help!"
I didn't respond. I snatched off my jacket, throwing it onto her father's 'throne' before waltzing up to her. I towered over her limp body for a short while, slightly scaring her into silence. Her heart started to slowly dwindle into a black hole, matching mine when I touched her. I didn't mean to grab her so forcefully but I couldn't restrain myself. I brought her in for a rough, passionate kiss; the bitter, coppery taste of blood mingling with her unique flavor and peppermint ice-cream.
I pushed her back onto the carpeted floorboards of her living-room, straddling her frail body before ripping open her blouse and pulling down her work shorts. She tried to say something but I gagged her with my hand, tearing off her panties. She was secretly turned on by this but more so startled and unsure on how to react to our new game of cat and mouse. I had never been this aggressive with her before and she remained lifeless in order to not make any movements she would regret.
Her eyes locked with mine, watching me as I pried her legs open to settle myself between her sex. I was stiffening to her sensitive touch, inhaling her aphrodisiac. I commanded that she unzip my pants and get to work, she obeying like a personal slave to my every whim. She positioned herself onto her knees to get better leverage, her shaky fingers slowly lessening the metal and fabric ratio. I watched her every move intently, palming her thick curls to bring them into fists full of hair. She squeaked out in minor pain but I muted her planting her face against the growing bulge in my pants. She muffled something inaudible, I ignoring her to grip her hair tighter. She screamed this time and that only infuriated me.
I decided I wanted to go against foreplay this time and get right into the main attraction. Throwing her against the floor again, I mounted Serena with a rough kiss. She squirmed underneath me, trying to push me from atop of her but I was much too strong for her feminine frame. I spread her legs, entering her with a hard, deep thrust that caused her to jerk back with a jolt of electricity. I slammed my hand against her mouth, matching my growing thrust with pent up fury and rage. She began biting the underbelly of my hand, clawing at my sheathed back. She managed to snake one of her hands underneath my shirt to scratch me against my shoulder blade.
The cool early morning air made it sting, causing me to roar out in agony. I pinned her deeper into the floor, picking up speed and ferocity as sweat dripped down my forehead and onto her taut stomach. All I could think about was Rhonda and how much of a fool I had been to fall in love with her again. It all began to make sense now. Her avoiding me, not wanting to be together after a year-long blissful relationship, the extended periods where we would go without speaking or seeing each other, everything all came together when I saw his face. I had no idea Rhonda was married, let alone seeing anyone else and that in itself spoke volumes. I truly didn't know Rhonda Wellington-Lloyd and the love I had fostered for her throughout the years had only been shown to be false sentiments of infatuation and obsession.
Rhonda never loved me and all that bullshit she spewed to me when we were together about her wanting to possibly be my 'number one girl' was nothing but empty words and false-hearted feelings that were masked my cruel intentions. She was a skilled puppeteer and I was her puppet, being pulled by her masterly crafted strings to do as she commanded with every beckoning call. It pained me to know she was married but it burned me to the core to know she never had the audacity to even tell me. I didn't know what to say when I saw him and decided it was best to lie.
Serena screamed in pain against my thrust, biting my hand as her nails dug into my flesh. I let out a low growl before finding myself buried in her hair again. I gripped her ponytail and felt as if I were strangling Rhonda herself. She kept screaming my name but it fell on deaf ears and a black heart that was tainted with the blood of an addict. I began to thrust against her sex harder, beating against her soft drum with lightening speed that even God himself couldn't match. She arched her back in her climax, wet trails of arousal streaming down her leg and pooling at the base of my shaft. I bit my bottom lip to finish the job, nearing for my own euphoric high.
I gave her a few final moments, the morning sun beginning to trickle alongside the shadows of the fleeting night through her window. They danced against me, simulating our erotic dance that would made a porn star blush. The darkness wrapped against the walls began to wane, my anger straying alongside with them as I climbed my high to dive into the oceanic waves of my orgasm. I screamed her name but felt no kind of emotion behind it as I collapsed atop of her. We stayed motionless for awhile, listening to each other's heart beat against the chirping of the birds perched outside on the window. I gritted my teeth, closing my eyes to drift off to sleep. Serena began to rub the back of my neck, humming lightly. It was a song we both knew.
How frostbitten I have become…
