Ch. 7: Moment of Truth
Christian
I pull up to Ana's house at precisely seven o'clock. I am a bag of nerves. I literally changed my outfit three times, before I just decided to say fuck it and went downstairs.
Thank god, Mia showed up before I was banned from going out tonight. I bet Elliot told her what was going on. Mia doesn't like Cora, and she would do whatever she could so we wouldn't end up together, not that we ever would.
In the end, I owe Mia for distracting Carrick so I could dodge his questions and finally leave.
I take a deep breath and get out of the car. I shut the door and admire her house in front of me. Nice. My hands visibly shake as I ring her doorbell. I look down at myself and drag my hands down my pants in nervousness. I'm hardly ever nervous around women, but with Ana, it's different.
Elliot had a pair of jeans that were not ripped, so I threw those on and then a white button-up shirt and a brown belt. I slipped on my brown dress shoes and my black coat with a gray scarf that I was wearing at school yesterday.
I look at my reflection in the glass beside the door. I smooth any hair that is out of place and take another deep breath. I swiftly freeze when the door flies open.
My mouth drops open at the goddess in front of me. She is wearing a gray sweater that is tucked into the silver sequin skirt, black tights, and black high-heeled ankle boots. Her brown hair is down in glossy waves that fall just below her breasts. Her makeup is light and natural. She's breathtaking. A natural beauty.
"Hi," she smiles, and then waves me in.
"Hi. You look beautiful," I look her up and down while I walk into the house.
She bites her lip as she shuts the door.
"Thank you. You look handsome," she winks.
I smirk and walk towards her. Her breath hitches as I lean down and kiss her cheek. I nuzzle her neck causing her to shiver. I chuckle and bring my lips to hers, and just when I am about to kiss her, we hear a throat being cleared behind us.
I jump back and turn around to see a man, and a woman who I presume is her parents.
"You must be Christian?" the man says curiously as he walks towards me.
"Yes, sir," I say politely as I shake his hand.
"Ana, told me you were taking her to dinner?" he looks from Ana to me.
"Yes. I hope that is okay?" I frown.
"Of course. Since it's a school night, I would like her to be home around nine thirty," he says sternly.
"I understand, sir," I nod.
"Great. Have a good time. It was nice to meet you," he nods and goes over to Ana and her mother who are talking quietly by the door.
"Carla," her mother introduces herself.
"Christian," I smile and shake her hand.
"It's wonderful to meet you. Have fun, kids," she gives Ana a thumbs up making her roll her eyes as she picks up her purse from a nearby chair.
I chuckle as Ana and I walk out of the door. I open the car door for her, and she smiles as she slides into the passenger seat. I shut her door and take a deep breath.
Here we go.
"What would you like?" I ask Ana while she browses through the menu.
"I am probably going to go with the creamy lemon chicken piccata fettuccini," she says to the waitress.
"I will have the eggplant parmesan," I hand the waitress my menu.
"I'll get those orders right in," the chipper waitress says as she takes our menus and scurries off.
"So?" Ana stares at me expectantly after a few minutes of silence.
I sigh and run my hand through my hair. I pick up my glass of water and take a huge gulp before I set it back on the table. I run my hands down my pants once more. It's now or never, Grey.
"What do you want to know?" I sigh.
"Well, the big question I have is who that girl is? What is she to you?" she frowns as she flips her hair behind her shoulder.
I squeeze my eyes closed, and my shoulders slump. Fuck. I knew she was going to ask that question. I didn't think she would bring it up first. I know she is going to run. I just know it.
Maybe I could just lie? Tell her that she is just a crazy ex? And that she is just stalking me.
No! I can't. I need, to be honest with her. If I want to be with her, I need to tell her the truth.
The whole truth. Baby and all.
I open my eyes, and she is staring at me curiously. Fuck, is it hot in here? I loosen my collar and feel beads of sweat form on my back.
I sigh and then take a deep breath.
"S-she's," I stutter. I scold myself for starting like an idiot. I swallow hard before I try again.
"She's carrying my baby," I blurt out, and like a coward I am, I look away.
What the fuck, Grey!
Ana
What is wrong with him?
Is he sweating?
He looks lost after I asked who that girl was to him. Is she that bad? I don't understand why he is acting this way. Yeah, sure I don't know him…well at all really, but I can tell that he really doesn't want to tell me who that girl is.
I have to admit that I am getting a little nervous. He hasn't said anything for a few minutes which makes me believe that she either is his girlfriend, or she really is a stalker. Am I in danger? I roll my eyes inwardly at my sudden stupidity. Really, Ana!
He finally opens his eyes and fearfully stares at me before he takes a deep breath and opens some buttons on his shirt. He stutters before he stops and swallows hard before continuing.
"She's carrying my baby," he blurts out before looking anywhere but at me.
My eyes widen, and the blood drains from my face.
Carrying his baby?
What the hell!
My mouth opens and then closes again. I don't know what to say. What the hell do I say to that?
Congratulations?
Do you want a boy or a girl?
When is the baby shower?
I mean…Oh, My God. I put my head in my hands and think about what he has just told me.
This was definitely the last thing I expected for him to tell me that he is going to be a father.
What the hell did I get myself into is right!
I groan and look up, and he is now staring at me wide-eyed, nervous of my reaction.
I sigh, suddenly exhausted, and we barely even discussed anything yet. Do I even want to know the rest of the story? Should I stay? Should I run and tell him that it was nice knowing him?
I don't know what to do. My head is all jumbled with questions; I don't even know what I should say.
I am attracted to him, but a baby?
"Say something," he pleads.
I sigh and shake my head in bewilderment. "A baby?" I clarify.
He nods and looks at me sympathetically. I sigh and look out the window. I snort and look back over at him. "What do you want me to say?"
He shrugs, now suddenly lost again. "I don't know. I just wanted to tell you up front before things go forward between us."
"Going forward? Christian, who says we are going to go forward? I don't think that is a good idea," I frown and shake my head at him.
He sits up straight and looks at me with hurt in his eyes. "What do you mean? You don't want to be with me?"
I slump down in my seat, and before I can say anything, the waitress comes by and gives us our plates of food.
"Thank you," I give her a small smile when she hands me my plate.
"Let me know if you need anything. Enjoy, guys," she smiles and then leaves.
I sit there and leave my plate untouched. I don't think I can eat anything right now.
"Well?" he urges me to finish what I was going to say.
"Christian. I like you okay, but what you just told me is-," I stop and try to find the right word.
"A game changer?" he says defeated.
I sigh and shake my head. I don't know…is it? I like him, I really do, but we don't know each other. Maybe we can be friends? I don't know if we can be any more than that and the thought suddenly saddens me.
I like him, and I thought we had a connection, but him having a baby with someone else turns everything more complicated.
"No, Christian it's not a game changer. To be honest, I don't know how to feel about the situation. We met each other yesterday for heaven sake! And then the next thing I know, you tell me that you are going to have a baby. How did this happen anyway? When did it happen?" I squint my eyes at him.
I feel like I am not making any sense, but I don't know what to think or do. My feelings are all going in every sort of direction; it's hard to keep up with my jumbled thoughts.
"It happened in August. Well, the short version is that I was mad on my first day, and I just picked up a chick randomly and had sex. She told me she was on birth control. I stupidly didn't have a condom, but I had sex with her anyway," he looks down ashamed with himself.
Well, he should be! No damn condom! Is he insane?
"So, let me get this straight. You got mad for whatever reason, and just decided to fuck a random girl without a condom?" I say outraged. How could he be so irresponsible!?
He pitifully nods his head and stares at his untouched plate of food.
I look at him in astonishment. "What on earth were you even mad about, that made you just decide to say fuck it and have sex with her anyway?" I shake my head, baffled at his reasoning.
He grits his teeth, and his head shoots up. Oh, He's mad now.
I cock my eyebrow at him. He doesn't intimidate me in the slightest. He is the one that got a girl pregnant. I just want the facts.
He narrows his eyes at me and in one breath, it seems, he tells me the whole story. I stare at him wide-eyed when he tells me the tale of his birth mother and what was going on in his head before the act.
My eyes fill with tears at what he and his brother and sister went through. How can a mother neglect her child like that?
I wipe my eyes with my napkin and clear my throat when he finishes. He stares at me impassively, and it makes me feel bad that I practically yelled at him. He made a mistake. We all do. It's human nature.
"I'm sorry that happened to you," I whisper.
He shakes his head and swallows hard before speaking. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten mad like that. I know I fucked up, and now I have to live with the fact that I am going to be a father. I just wanted to tell you all of this up front, because I don't want any secrets between us if you do decide that you want to start something with me. I know it will be hard with a baby in the mix, but I know we can make this work. Please, Ana, would you at least think about it?" he pleads once more.
I close my eyes and swallow the lump in my throat. I'm so conflicted.
On the one hand, I do want to be with him. I really like him, and I feel like something good can come out of the relationship. On the other hand, he is going to have a baby with someone else. How am supposed to be okay with that? I know the baby is the innocent party in all of this, and he or she deserves to have a mother and a father.
What if he ends up wanting to be with her in the future? She is having his baby. The mother of his child. I will only be the girlfriend.
I don't know the first thing about babies. I don't even know if he knows how to take care of an infant. They are so young, and they have their whole lives a head of them. God, Ana, you act like you're having the baby!
I mean, I guess if we do see each other, I will also be responsible for the innocent little baby. What would that make me? A step-parent?
I inwardly groan at this entire situation. I don't know what to do. This is a lot to process at the moment.
Maybe I should just leave now. Just tell him that it's too much for me to handle right now, and just go our separate ways. To say to him that I am too young to take care of a baby with him. Run out of this expensive Italian restaurant right now, and move on to someone else other than him and his whole baby mama drama.
But something holds me back. I don't know what it is, or how to explain it. I just feel like I have to give him a chance. I don't want to be selfish and just think about myself. Even though, my parents will probably kill me for getting involved with a guy who has a kid on the way.
I look up at him, and he is staring at me in uneasiness. His gray eyes are pleading with me to say yes. I sigh and rub my hands over my face. I put my elbows on the table and staple my fingers together.
"I can't give you an answer right now. This is a lot to process, so yes, I will think about it. Just give me some time," I give him a small smile.
He instantly relaxes and leans over and takes one of my hands and kisses my knuckles softly.
"I will give you all the time you need. Thank you," he beams at me.
I give him a weak smile, but suddenly another question pops into my head. "I have some more questions," I frown.
He sits up straight and then nods at me hesitantly after a few beats.
"Is she really stalking you?" I squint my eyes at him.
He rolls his eyes and suddenly looks annoyed. "Yes. She won't take no for an answer. I already told her in the beginning that it was just a one-time thing. For some reason, she will not stop bothering me. Even after I told her multiple times, I wasn't interested. I also let her know that if it wasn't about the baby, I didn't want any contact with her. I am taking responsibility for the child, but as far as us, it is not going to happen," he stares into eyes the whole time.
I know that he wants me to understand that he is telling the truth.
"I appreciate that. But as much as I appreciate that you let her know that you didn't want a relationship, I can't say I blame her," I shrug.
He looks me astounded that he actually thinks I don't see anything wrong with her stalking him. I grin and explain myself before he gets the wrong impression.
"Don't misunderstand me. I know what she is doing is wrong. She needs to let it go, and just focus on her pregnancy. She is probably just infatuated with you, Christian. I mean you're kind of smoking hot, and I would probably stalk you too," I giggle.
He shakes his head and tries not to smile, but he is not quite successful as he wants to be.
"In all seriousness, though, she probably just has a crush on you. I don't know all the details, and I don't want to know, but just go easy on her. I could see how heartbroken she is when I saw her yesterday. I am not defending her by any means, but I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt unless she proves me otherwise," I cock my eyebrow at him.
He looks down amused. "Fair enough," he smirks.
"Good. I promise you; I will think about everything," I give Christian a small smile.
He smiles shyly at me before looking down at his plate with a frown.
I smile and look down at my own untouched plate. It's probably ice cold by now. We have been sitting here talking for over thirty minutes.
"Let's get this bagged. Shall we?" he nods over to the waitress.
"Thank you for dinner," I say when he pulls up to my house.
He chuckles causing me to frown. "We didn't actually eat, but your welcome."
I shake my head and smile at the white to-go box that is sitting on my lap.
I look back over to him, and he has leaned towards me. "When can I see you again?" he whispers.
I bite my lip and frown at him. "I don't know. Let's take this one day at a time. Until then, I will still see you in first period and at lunch."
He nods and leans into me more until our lips are inches apart. "Can I kiss you?" he murmurs and stares into my eyes.
I smirk. "I don't even know your last name."
He grins and his eyes dance with humor. "Grey"
I narrow my eyes at him. "It is really Grey. Ironic eh?" he laughs which causes me to laugh as well.
He stops laughing and bites his lip. "What is yours?" he whispers seductively in my ear. I almost let out a small moan.
"Steele," I close my eyes as he runs his nose along my jaw.
"Well, what do you say, Ana Steele? Can I kiss you now?" he softly kisses my throat. I moan at that and nod my head.
His lips crash to mine, and I kid you not, I literally see fireworks. I moan into his mouth as his tongue pushes its way into mine.
We sit there and make out for a few minutes until little pecks on the lips are all that remains. He rests his forehead to mine and smiles.
"Goodnight, baby."
I smile and lean back. "Goodnight, Christian," I say as I open the door and get out.
I shut the door and walk over to my front door. I turn back towards his car and he backs out of the driveway. He opens his window and winks at me before he drives off. I shake my head and stand there until I can no longer see his taillights.
I sigh and look up at the dark sky and the bright stars and try to figure out what the hell I am going to do.
I almost jump out of my skin when Amanda sticks her head out of the front door. I didn't even realize she opened the door.
"Are you coming in anytime soon?" she smirks.
"Yeah, sorry," I shake my head and try to clear my thoughts.
I walk through the door and see my parents sitting in the living room snuggled together on the sofa. RJ is asleep next to them.
Momma looks up from the movie she is watching "Your home early. How was your date?" she smiles as she mutes the T.V.
"It was all right," I smile as I sit down on one of the chairs. The food box is sitting on my lap.
She frowns. "You don't look as if it were a good date. Did he do something?" she sits up, and Ray looks confused.
"No, he didn't do anything wrong. The conversation just didn't go the way I was expecting," I shrug and sigh. I look down at the box and trace the restaurant logo with my index finger.
"What were you expecting?" she asks.
I stop tracing the box and look up at them. They are both staring at me intently, waiting for my answer. I want to tell them what we talked about, but I am hesitant. I don't want them to forbid me speak to Christian, or see him before I think about what I want to do.
When I tell them that he is going to have a baby with someone else, I know they will freak out and tell me not to see him anymore. So I decide not to tell them what is going on until I am entirely sure on what I want to do.
"It's nothing. We just decided to take it slow since we just met each other. He was a little disappointed, but understands. He is a really great guy. I am looking forward to getting to know him better," I smile, and my mother relaxes. Ray is still staring at me curiously, but he nods anyway.
"Well, I am glad you both decided to take it slow. There is nothing wrong with getting to know someone before you take that next step," Momma smiles and winks at me.
"Yeah. I agree. Well, I'm going to heat this food up. We didn't get to eat much since we were talking the whole time," I smile and get up from the chair.
"Of course honey. It smells great," Momma says as she unmutes the T.V. and sits back.
"It does," I agree and walk towards the kitchen to finally eat my dinner.
I take a shower and get my homework done before I head to bed. I put on a pair of pajama shorts that has cute little pineapples all over them, and a gray camisole. I put on some more oversized socks and get into bed.
I don't feel like reading tonight, so I decide to play with my phone. I really should go to bed because of school tomorrow, but I can't seem to shut my brain off of what happened with Christian.
I like him, and we had an instant connection, but the situation he has gotten himself into is a problem. This is not just having a girl stalk him; this is the girl who is stalking him and having his baby.
I still don't know how I fell about that. I mean, this situation happened way before I came into the picture.
I feel somewhat sad that he is going to have a baby with another girl. If we do end up having a relationship, this girl is going to be in the picture forever. She will be the third person that will be included in the relationship.
Not only her, but this baby is going to be a part of him. Of us. If we do get together, then I will need to come to terms with having a newborn in my life.
I groan as I throw my phone next to me on the bed. What the hell am I going to do?
This is so much more than I bargained for. I don't know if I will be strong enough to go into this relationship.
What happens when the baby is born?
Will he have time for us?
Will he have to quit school to take care of the baby?
What will that girl do when she finds out about us?
Will my parents be okay with all of this?
Will we be able to be alone together without the baby?
All sorts of questions run through my head as I rub my temples with my fingers. I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can handle this. I want him, I really do, but the truth is, I am scared. I am afraid of the future.
I mean, what happens when I want to go off to college? Will we even still be together when school is over? Will he be even going off to college? What would happen with the baby? Will he need to stay here? Will the mother need to move with us, because of the baby? Ugh. This is so frustrating!
I feel selfish for thinking all of this. I'm thinking of Me, Me, Me when we all should be thinking about what is best for the baby. The baby is the innocent party in all of this, and I feel like shit when all I am thinking about is my needs and wants.
I hate this. Why couldn't I meet someone who doesn't have this sort of baggage? There I go, again! Thinking of myself. Ugh, stop it, Ana!
I sigh aggravated with myself and turn over on my stomach. I blow out a breath and decide that maybe I should give him a chance. I feel like I should give Christian a chance because I know I would always wonder, what if.
I felt a connection that I never felt before, and I want to experience that again and again. I want to get to know him and see where this relationship can lead.
I smile a little and take a deep breath. I think I made my decision. I am going to give him a chance, and we can worry about everything else when the time comes.
The only thing I am worried about is this baby. This baby is coming, and for the first time, I am concerned about the future. There are so many things that can happen that will change the road to my future, and that is what scares me the most.
I know life is about taking chances. We don't know how life is going to go, or where we will be in the future.
Life is complicated. Life is a winding road to endless possibilities. Life happens, and you just need to make the most out of any unique situation.
I just hope that we can make it work. I hope we will be able to survive what life throws at us, as a couple and as individuals.
My eyes start to droop before I hear a light buzzing sound coming from beside me. My tired eyes open fully, and I blindly pick up my phone. I squint at the bright light coming from my iPhone display.
It's a text from Christian.
'Goodnight beautiful. Dream of me. Christian X'
I smile groggily and text him back.
'Goodnight handsome. Ana X'
I put my phone on the charger and lay down and fall into a deep sleep.
