A/N: Thank you so much for all your kind reviews! I plan on writing four more chapters after this, so if you stick with me and keep reviewing, that would be great. Please enjoy this chapter and leave a review on your way out.
Chapter Seven- Bachelor/Bachelorette
"Would you flash your boobs to the maintenance staff? The AC unit in my office is on the fritz and I want it fixed pronto." House says as he walks into Cuddy's office. Cuddy, of course, is on the phone with an important donor who, of course, heard every word of House's rant. Cuddy holds up a freshly manicured finger which House ignores.
"Tell whoever it is that they can call back after you get someone up there to fix my AC so I don't have to smell ass every time I want to save a life," Cuddy says her goodbyes, writes a note on her calendar and finally turns her attention to her childish fiancé.
"It's not even that hot out for June, stop being a baby,"
"I am not a baby; I am a man of principle." Cuddy raises an arched eyebrow at House and tries her hardest not to laugh in his face.
"And what principle are you standing upon exactly?" House rolls his eyes as if it is obvious,
"The principle that one should always get hit in the face with AC when said person walks into a building that was built after the 1960's." Cuddy laughs at House's ridiculousness.
"The clinic is air conditioned, why don't you work in there?" Cuddy proposed.
"I would rather sweat in my office than freeze in the clinic."
"Fine, than go, I'll call maintenance to fix your AC," House squints his eyes at her, not believing that she will actually call.
"I will check your phone records when you leave today,"
"I wouldn't expect anything less from you darling," Cuddy smiles at him innocently and blows him a kiss.
"Keep it up Pookie and I will show up to our wedding hammered and hit on Julia all night." As House is walking out, Cuddy can't help but be thankful that her and House are back to their infamous playful banter. After her father's death, House was there for her every step of the way; he willingly became a part of their wedding planning, more than Cuddy had ever hoped. They have all the details planned out; leaving the only thing left to do is final alterations on Cuddy's wedding dress. House and Cuddy are getting married on July 27th at the Four Seasons Hotel in downtown Princeton.
"Cuddy…" Wilson says and takes a seat next to her desk. Cuddy doesn't seem to notice him; she keeps staring at the wall with a dopey grin on her face.
"Cuddy!" Wilson says louder and makes Cuddy jump slightly.
"What can I help you with Wilson?" Cuddy asks and rearranges the papers on her desk.
"We need to finalize plans for House's bachelorette party. Do you have a minute?"
"Yeah of course, I have been so busy lately. What have you planned so far?"
"I made reservations for Friday night at Harrah's in Atlantic City. The only thing I don't know is how we are going to get him there without him knowing." Cuddy sighed and falls back into her chair in a huff.
The phone rings in House's office, cutting right through a differential.
"Are you going to answer that?" Thirteen asks. House looks up from the file and notices his team gazing at him expectantly.
"What?" House barks and Thirteen points to the ringing phone. House leans over the table and snatches the phone off the cradle.
"You have about thirty seconds before I hang up,"
"House," Kim says
"Oh my god! What the hell are you calling me for? Call Wilson!"
"I am not in labor you idiot! I still have about two weeks before I am due,"
"Then I am going to hang up on you,"
"No! I have something to talk to you about, make sure Cuddy isn't standing right next to you,"
"She isn't standing right next to me,"
"Are you lying?"
"No,"
"Fine, you need to plan something for Cuddy's bachelorette party,"
"Why the hell do I need to do that?"
"Because I have on good authority that Cuddy has something planned for you,"
"By good authority, you mean Wilson,"
"He talks a lot after we have sex, it's extremely annoying. That's not the point, now who would she want to be there?"
"Probably you, god knows why,"
"Shut up, I'll set up massages, manicures and pedicures on Friday night,"
"Great, thank you for wasting my time,"
"Your welcome, tell the team I said hello," House hangs up on her and rejoins the team in the conference room.
"Where were we?" House asks.
"You were about to insult us and then embrace your own idea like you always do," Foreman deadpans.
"Right, you are all wrong and the patient needs a liver biopsy. I will go talk to Cuddy, you guys prep the patient." House walks out of the office and into Cuddy's.
"I am back again, but this time for medical reasons," Cuddy throws down her pen.
"Between you and Wilson, I can't get a moment to finish the budget report."
"The one time I have a valid reason to be here, you bitch at me. Wilson on the other hand, needs to talk to a woman who isn't going to cry at the drop of a hat and fits into regular size clothing."
"What do you need?"
"It's not what I need; it's what my patient needs. He needs a liver biopsy to check for cancer."
"What's the problem?"
"He has DIC, he might bleed out if we stick a needle in his liver,"
"So…"
"It's hard to believe you still have an M.D at the end of your name. I was thinking of a transjugular liver biopsy, but due to the administrative crap this hospital has me go through, I have to ask you first."
"I am glad to see that I have finally started to rub off on you."
"Puh, I just don't want to sit through another lame administrative hearing while perfectly watchable porn is being ignored,"
"Do the biopsy,"
"Thank you," House grabs his cane and starts to turn around.
"House, wait!" Cuddy says as he is walking to the door. House walks back to her desk and gives her his full attention.
"What?"
"Do you want a bachelor party?" House doesn't hesitate,
"Sure, do you want a bachelorette party?"
"Sure," Cuddy says after hearing House's immediate response.
"I'll see you at home," House kisses her softly on the lips and walks out.
House solves the case by midnight and comes home to his family. He slips into bed next to Cuddy who is fast asleep. She feels the weight change and immediately moves closer to House. House brushes a few loose curls from her face and kisses her forehead.
"Did you solve it?" Cuddy asks her voice thick from sleep.
"Of course, terminal liver cancer. The patient only has a few months left,"
"I'm sorry," House wraps an arm around her and Cuddy lays her head down on House's chest.
"I'm not; the guy was an alcoholic and wife abuser. He got what he deserved," Cuddy knows that House is shaken by this case because of John. He died from complications of liver failure when Emma was a baby.
"I love you," Cuddy says because she doesn't know what else to say.
"I love your ass," House responds, not liking the seriousness of this conversation. Cuddy laughs and slaps House's chest lightly.
"I love your ass too," Cuddy reaches around and slaps House's ass.
"I am going to go to bed. We have kids to get up for in the morning,"
"Why did we have kids anyway?" Cuddy rolls her eyes and chooses not to answer House's question.
"Goodnight House,"
"Night Cuddy,"
The next day is Friday, the day of House and Cuddy's bachelor/bachelorette parties. House's case is solved and Cuddy told her assistant to not schedule anything past six, in the hopes that House had something planned for her. Around one, Wilson stops by Cuddy's office to make sure she is ready.
"For the thousandth time Wilson, it will work. Do you have a bag for House in your car?"
"Yup, although knowing House, he won't even use it. What time are you going to see him?"
"I told him to do clinic duty before he leaves which I know he won't. So, I am going to surprise him in his office around four. I will text you and then you can come and pick him up. Got it?"
"Okay, I'll have my phone on me,"
"Thanks Wilson for doing this,"
"He's my best friend, and I want to get out of town before we have the baby," Wilson leaves and Cuddy tries to turn her attention back to her paperwork. She hopes this will work and she will finally pull one over on House.
Cuddy shuts her computer off at four and stands up to stretch. She heads down to the cafeteria to buy a garden salad for her and a Reuben with a coke for House.
"Hey!" Cuddy calls out and opens his office door. House scowls and shuts off his computer, not wanting Cuddy to find out he was looking at porn again while he was supposed to be working.
"I was just about to go down to the clinic," House lies lamely. Cuddy gives him a look as if to say that she wasn't buying it.
"That's okay, I bought us a late lunch," Cuddy sets the Reuben and Coke down on his desk and sits down in a nearby chair. House narrows his eyes at her and slowly leans back in his office chair.
"You brought me lunch instead of chewing me out for not being at the clinic. Is there something you want to tell me Cuddles? Oh my god…are you pregnant?"
"What? No, I was hoping that we could eat together since we have been so busy lately. Eat up, I don't have all day." House still doesn't look entirely convinced, but takes a slug of his Coke.
"Actually, I have something to tell you,"
"Oh really?"
"Yes, I have gone out of my way and had Kim make reservations at…shit I forgot where it was…oh well, it doesn't matter. The point is that you and the whale are getting all that girly crap done tonight."
"What exactly does 'girly crap' entail? And Wilson doesn't like it when you call his wife a whale." Cuddy asks, excitedly.
"Wilson can kiss my ass. Anyway, pedicures, manicures and massages, I believe. And you better like it because I gave Kim my credit card to pay for all that." Cuddy beams and gives House a kiss.
"I won't enjoy it just because you paid for it,"
"Ouch, you are one cold woman,"
"You love it," House rolls his eyes at her and the couple fall into a comfortable silence while they eat. Towards the end of the meal, House feels himself getting dizzy and his mouth becoming dry. He looks up at Cuddy who is pleasantly enjoying her meal and notices that she hasn't had any of his drink which is unusual. She never gets a drink for herself because she knows that he will give her a few sips of his. Oh my god! The pieces click in place and House looks up at Cuddy in shock.
"You…drugged…me," House says as he feels himself slipping into unconsciousness.
"Consider it payback from Wilson for all the times you have drugged him," Cuddy says. House's body goes limp and Cuddy feels elated that they pulled this off. She dials Wilson who picks up on the first ring.
"He's out," Cuddy announces feeling a little guilty that she said that with such pride.
"Good job Cuddy, I'm on my way," Cuddy closes the blinds and locks House's office to make sure none of House's team members come in and ask why their boss is unconscious and their bosses boss is smiling about it. Five minutes later Wilson pounds on the glass frantically, as if someone is chasing him. Cuddy rolls her eyes at Wilson's dramatics and gets up to open the door.
"Honestly, I didn't think this would work," Wilson says and wheels in a gurney.
"Help me load him onto the gurney," Cuddy says and walks over to House, putting her arms under his armpits. Wilson swings the office chair around and grabs House's legs.
"On the count of three," Cuddy says and counts. Together they hoist him onto a gurney and Wilson covers House's body with a sheet.
"I'll tell his team that Emma is sick and he went home early," Cuddy says.
"Okay, my car is parked in the back entrance by the dumpster; hopefully no one will stop me."
"They will probably jump for joy at the sight of House unconscious. I think Kim is staying over at my place tonight with the kids if you need to get in touch with her."
"House will keep me entertained enough in Atlantic City, but thanks. I'll have him back in one piece tomorrow afternoon."
"One more thing, please don't let him get arrested, I really don't want to post bail. Keep an eye on him,"
"Don't worry Cuddy, I will," Wilson wheels the gurney out and Cuddy dials Kim.
"Hey, what time is our appointment tonight?"
"He told you?"
"Yup, and thanks by the way, that was really nice of you guys to do."
"No problem, I thought you could use a spa day. Our appointment is at Utopia nails at six."
"Perfect, do you want to pick up the kids and have a sleepover at my house since the boys are gone?"
"Good idea, although I was going to invite myself over anyway," Cuddy laughs at Kim's bluntness.
"Okay then, I'll meet you at Utopia later."
"K bye," They hang up and Cuddy notices that House's team is going to be back from wherever they were soon. Cuddy opens the blinds and leaves House's office not before leaving a note on the table about House's current location.
House wakes up from his drug-induced sleep around five thirty. He slowly opens his eyes and looks around. From what he can deduce, he is in a moving car with Wilson driving through some comatose village.
"If you don't marry Cuddy for doing this, I will," Wilson mutters and turns down the radio.
"She drugged me and you are kidnapping me to…where?" House stares out the window for some clues as to where they are going.
"For your bachelor party Cuddy arranged for us to spend a night in Atlantic City,"
"I am so glad that I am banging her instead of Kim," House says in a slight appreciation of Cuddy.
"We will be there in about a half an hour, why don't you go back to sleep?"
"Nah, I would rather stay up and chat with my BFF," Wilson turns up the radio to unsuccessfully drown out House's singing.
Back in Princeton, Cuddy closes out her files and tells her secretary to schedule sporadic meetings for next week. Before she leaves, she dials home to make sure it's okay for Marina to stay later than normal.
"Hey Marina it's me,"
"Oh hi Dr. Cuddy, everything okay?"
"Yeah, I was hoping you could stay a little later today because House surprised me with spa treatments."
"Oh that's wonderful! You tell Dr. House I approve," Cuddy laughs and tells Marina goodbye. She texts Kim to say she was leaving and hops in her car. The pair meet at the salon and are immediately taken into a quiet room to begin their pedicures.
"This was so nice of House to do this," Cuddy says in the midst of a foot massage.
"I know, it's a miracle that they are even touching my bloated pregnant feet,"
"Just be happy that you are pregnant to begin with,"
"Aw is someone jealous?" Kim asks teasingly.
"No, I have a wedding to focus on,"
"How's that going by the way?"
"Amazing, it's nice for House to have an opinion on flowers and seating arrangements. It's cliché and stupid, but it's still nice."
"When's the wedding?"
"July 27th,"
"Where are you going for the honeymoon?"
"I don't know House is keeping it to himself. Wilson told me that I will find out at the wedding reception."
House and Wilson arrive at the Harrah's Casino. Their bags are taken up to their room which is the penthouse suite.
"Damn, I wonder who Cuddy had to screw to get this place for a night," House muses as he throws his bags down on the bed.
"You are okay with that?"
"If it gets me free stuff then I will let a few things slide," House jokes and collapses on the bed.
"So, casino?" Wilson asks. House nods and the boys head downstairs.
Kim and Cuddy are done with their pedicures and now they are getting massages.
"So do you want another baby?" Kim asks out of the blue. Cuddy pops her head up to look at Kim.
"Did House send you here to be a spy?"
"I wouldn't tell you if he did,"
"Traitor,"
"Cuddy, you are my best friend I am entitled to know things about your life."
"House and I have talked about it, but I don't think it's going to happen. I am 44,"
"You were 43 when you were pregnant with Ian,"
"I know, but I had a miscarriage and go on fertility treatments to even get pregnant with Ian." Cuddy says with a slight edge in her voice. Kim realizes she pushed Cuddy too far and retreats.
"Sorry, I have sadly turned into one of those pregnant women who think everyone should have a baby," Cuddy brushes it off,
"It's okay, I want another baby, but I just don't want the fertility treatments and miscarriages that go along with having a baby in my upper forties."
"It's a bitch, isn't it?"
"If it happens, it happens," Cuddy thinks aloud.
"I wonder what Wilson and House are doing," Kim switches topics not wanting to upset Cuddy any further.
"Knowing House, probably gambling our savings away,"
"Wilson is probably drunk on wine coolers and telling bad jokes," Cuddy laughs,
"We know our men too well,"
"I raise one hundred," House throws in three blue chips and looks at Wilson, trying to analyze his hand by the face he is making.
"Call," Wilson throws in his wager and sips on his gin and tonic.
"By the way you are chugging down those drinks, you will be hammered by eight,"
"At least I will have money to buy my drinks," Wilson retaliates childishly.
"I bet you two hundred bucks that I will get a lap dance before you do,"
"You. Are. So. On." Wilson and House shake hands and lay down their cards.
"I win!" House rakes in his winnings and lights a cigar.
"Of course you do," Wilson mutters and looks at his dwindling stack of chips.
Cuddy and Kim arrive back at Cuddy's place at about eight after stopping briefly at Kim's to pick up her twins.
"Momma! Mommy!" Ian and Emma greet their mother at the door.
"Hey guys! Look who I brought home with me!" Cuddy exclaims and steps aside to let Kim and the twins in.
"Hey Emma and Ian!" Kim says and drops her bag on the couch.
"I am going to put Ian to bed," Cuddy picks Ian up and walks up the nursery.
"Mon boys, let's play," Emma takes the boys upstairs to her room to show them her new toys. Cuddy rocks Ian to sleep and stops in Emma's room.
"Hi sweetie, how was your day?" Cuddy asks Emma who is setting up a tea party for everyone.
"Ian and me goed to the park and we saw birdies!"
"Cool! Emma, it's getting close to your bedtime. Since Kim and the twins are sleeping over we are going to watch a movie in the basement and sleep down there okay?"
"YES!" Emma exclaims with excitement and grabs her pillow.
"Mon boys, let's go in da basement!" Emma leads her "posy" downstairs with an amused Cuddy behind them.
"Emma, pick out a movie for you guys to watch, Auntie Kim and I are going to set up downstairs."
"Kay mommy, we be down soon!" Emma leads the boys over to the TV cabinet in the living room where the DVD's are stored.
"Which movie?" Emma asks the twins.
"Dis!" Daniel points to The Lion King.
"No dis!" Richard grabs The Princess and the Frog.
"Grab 'em both!" Emma, ever the compromiser, says and they climb into the elevator.
"We got movies!" Emma announces as they step off the elevator in the basement.
"Emma, pick one," Cuddy says. Emma acts like this is the most important decision in her life as she looks at the DVD's.
"That one," Emma points to The Princess and the Frog. Cuddy puts in the DVD player and sits down on the couch next to Kim. Emma sits down next to Kim and the twins sit down next to her.
Close to nine, House and Wilson are growing tired of gambling and are looking for where to go to next.
"What's next House? This is your night," Wilson slightly slurs. House, having downed a few drinks himself is aimlessly looking around the casino. He spots a gentleman's club called Bare Exposure.
"Let's go there," House points to the club and wags his eyebrows mischievously.
"Fine," Wilson and House pay the cover charge and enter the club ready for some more fun.
"This movie is ridiculous," Kim whispers over to Cuddy. Kim looks over at her kids who are fast asleep and then to Emma who is still barely awake.
"I kind of like it, the songs are good," Cuddy says and shoves a handful of popcorn into her mouth.
"Is this how you envisioned your bachelorette party to be? Us watching a Disney movie with our kids while our significant others are in Atlantic City?"
"Not really, but I am still recovering from your bachelorette party,"
"Oh please, it wasn't that bad," Cuddy arches her eyebrow and shakes her head.
"We were doing kamikaze shots until we threw up in the limo we rented. Luckily, I didn't have to go into work the next day or I don't know what I would have done."
"That would have been a sight to see, the Dean of Medicine hung over," Cuddy laughs,
"I remember House taking a picture of me hovered over the toilet and then leaving me alone for the rest of the day,"
"If that picture ever sees the light of day, I have a picture of House reading to kids with cancer that can be published all over the hospital."
"You are a good friend Kim," Cuddy and Kim laugh loud enough to stir Emma.
"Mommy?" Emma whispers and looks up at Cuddy.
"Sorry baby, we didn't mean to be so loud. Why don't you try and fall asleep?" Emma nods and climbs into Kim's lap.
"Are you having fun yet?" Wilson yells over the sound of the music.
"Yeah!" House yells back and sends a quick text to Cuddy.
At a strip club with Wilson, try not too much fun with Shamu.
-H.
Cuddy laughs and shows Kim the text.
Tell Caramel I said hello and have fun.
-C.
House smiles and shuts off his phone for the night.
"The girls say hello and to say hi to Caramel!" Wilson laughs and takes a swig of his beer.
About a half an hour later, Emma who is still awake, bursts out laughing.
"What's so funny Emma?" Cuddy asks sweetly, thinking she found something in the movie funny.
"Aunty Kim peed her pants!" Emma says and laughs some more.
"What the…" Cuddy asks and looks up at Kim who has a horrified expression on her face.
"I think…my water just broke…" Kim whispers.
"Shit…" Cuddy sighs.
A/N 2: That's it for now! Next chapter Kim has her baby and they try to get the boys to come back home. Only four chapters left! Thanks for reading and please leave a review on your way out.
