Chapter 7

It was a long, hot summer…in more ways than one.

Alyssa was still at her parents' home…and she and Nadine had some unholy battles.

One day she caught Alyssa looking through the classifieds looking for an apartment…and she flipped out.

"What are you doing, Alyssa?" she asked.

Lyssa calmly laid down the pen she had been using to jot down potential options and gave her mom a level stare.

"I'm looking for an apartment." She replied calmly.

"WHAT? Oh no, missy…you're not going anywhere! It's too dangerous!"

"Mother…I'm thirty years old. I've lived on my own for six years now…"

"And look what happened!" Nadine shouted. "You nearly got yourself killed! You are staying right here…where it's safe!"

"What happened wasn't my fault! I can't give up my entire life because of some deranged lunatic…who happens to be safely behind bars…"

"You can have a life!"

"Not if I never leave this house, I can't!"

The charged words reverberated in the air.

Then Nadine regrouped and tried again.

"Alyssa…I just want what's best for you. You deserve to have a nice life…a husband, children…a beautiful house in a safe neighborhood. If you just call Jonny DiNardo, I'm sure he'll come back…"

"Enough with Jonny DiNardo, Ma! He doesn't want to marry me…and I sure don't want to marry him!"

"But if you just call him…"

"No! Ma! Just stop, already! I'm in love with Kelly! He's the only one I want to be with!"

"He's not the right man for you, Alyssa. He didn't even come to the hospital when you were asleep all that time! What kind of boyfriend is that?"

Alyssa was furious. After all Kelly had done for her…her mother just dismissed it with a wave of her hand.

"Mother…this discussion is over."

"But…"

"OVER! You don't get to choose who I date…I do. And I choose Kelly. He was there for me every day."

"He was not!"

"Every day that mattered to me, Ma…he was there. I don't know where our relationship is gonna eventually end up…but this is what I want."

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Kelly heard the whole story as he drove to the "Friends of Firefighters" BBQ.

They almost hadn't gotten out the door…

When he got to the house Nadine was going on and on about how the picnic was "too much" for Alyssa.

"Ma…stop! I'll be perfectly fine! I'll be with Kelly…he's not about to let anything happen to me!"

"But it's so far! It's not safe!"

"Oh Good God, Mother! You think any place farther than the back yard is too far! And I'll be surrounded by firefighters and paramedics…it's probably the safest place in the whole damn city!"

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He just let Alyssa go on and vent all her frustrations.

"I've got to get outta there, Kelly. I can't take it anymore. I've gotta get back in my own place."

"What about us getting a place together?" he suggested.

Alyssa looked at him in wide-eyed surprise.

He was a little surprised himself.

"Are you serious?" she asked.

"Yeah. I've actually been thinking about it for a while now." He answered. "I just wasn't sure how you'd feel about being alone when I'm on shift. You used to have such a hard time sleeping…before…"

Alyssa was quiet.

"What?" Kelly asked nervously.

"The reason I couldn't sleep…I was always…thinking in the back of my mind…that it was only a matter of time before Brad would find me. I used to think I saw him…places I'd go…the store, whatever. Every time I went out I was looking over my shoulder."

Now it was Kelly's turn to be silent.

"How come you never told me that before?" he asked quietly.

"Because…I wasn't sure what we were doing, Kelly. I knew how I felt…but I wasn't sure about you. And I just didn't want to seem…ridiculously needy."

Kelly didn't know what to say…so he just turned his attention back to driving.

He felt like she'd just thrown cold water on him…and the realization that she'd kept all those fears to herself, because of his inability to express what he felt for her left a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

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He pulled into a parking space near the picnic grounds.

He could see crowds milling around…he could hear kids laughing and shouting as they played…he heard music…and smelled the food cooking.

And he turned the engine off…and just sat there.

"Kelly?" Alyssa said hesitantly.

She wasn't sure what had happened to make him so uncharacteristically silent.

He unbuckled his seatbelt and turned slowly to face her.

She was a bit alarmed by the hurt in his eyes.

"Kelly, what's wrong?"

Kelly took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"I'm an idiot." He said. "I've been trying to convince myself that we just had this casual thing going on…and I was so busy trying to keep my own heart under wraps…that I made you think I didn't care."

"Oh, Kelly…you don't have to…"

"Yeah, I do." He cut her off.

He reached out and took her hands in his and looked deep into her brown eyes.

And even though they were sitting there, having this serious conversation that they really should have had six months ago…he was astounded by the depth of the love he found there. And he finally let it fill the emptiness he'd carried around inside ever since his former fiancée had confessed to cheating on him three days before the wedding.

"You were afraid, Alyssa…and you felt like you couldn't come to me. Well…I'm telling you now. I'm in this relationship 100%. I'm not going anywhere…and you can tell me everything."

She felt like her heart was about to burst.

She felt a tear trail down her cheek…and he reached out to wipe it away.

He gently cupped her cheek in his strong hand…and captured her lips for a soft, tender kiss.

"I love you, Kelly." She whispered. "I love you so…so much."

And then he finally…finally…said the words. The ones she had been waiting so long to hear.

"And I love you."

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Alyssa felt like she was floating on cloud nine as she and Kelly made their way over to the tables where Station 51 had set up camp.

It was the first time most of the team had seen her in the six weeks since she'd been released from the hospital…and she hugged Gabby and Mills and Hermann and Otis…right on down the line.

And while everyone was talking and laughing, drinking and eating…Kelly quietly took Shay off to one side.

"I just wanted you to be the first to know…Alyssa and I are gonna get a place together…so…you'll have to find a new roommate…'cause I'm moving out…"

Leslie just stared at him for a moment…

Then she launched herself at him and gave him a huge hug.

"That's great, Kelly…I'm really happy for you. For both of you."

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But eventually the day had to come to an end.

Kelly threw his arm around Alyssa's shoulders as they headed back to the car.

He felt more relaxed than he had in a long…long time.

As he opened the door for her, Alyssa suddenly turned to him.

"Kelly…can we go back to your place? I just don't want to go back to my folks' house…not now."

He leaned down to kiss her.

"Whatever you want, Babe…"

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He opened the door to his apartment and led her inside.

He tossed his keys on the counter and headed for the fridge.

"Do you want something to drink? Something to eat?" he asked.

Alyssa shook her head.

"I couldn't eat another bite…"

He pulled a beer out for himself, and then turned to face her…

The way the light was hitting…it caught the red highlights in her dark brown hair…and she just looked so…soft…so inviting.

He set his beer down on the counter and quickly closed the space between them. He leaned down and captured her lips with a deep, passionate, all-consuming kiss.

Every sense he had kicked into over-drive…it had been so long since he'd held her in his arms…since they'd really and truly been alone together…it was almost too much.

He started to back her over to the couch…

"Kelly, let's go upstairs…" Alyssa whispered breathlessly between kisses.

She didn't have to tell him twice…he easily lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

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Don't ask how he did it…but he carried her up the stairs to his room…and once the door was closed behind them, he laid her on the bed.

He pulled his shirt over his head before he joined her…balancing himself over the top of her. He felt her fingernails drag lightly across his back…and that only heightened his need all the more.

He trailed hot kisses down her neck and began to fumble with the buttons on her blouse. She quickly came to his aid and in no time at all her blouse was on the floor…followed seconds later by her shorts.

He started to slide her bra straps off her shoulders…when he suddenly stopped.

It was the first time he had actually seen the scars on her body…the incision that went from the top of her sternum to the bottom, and then fanned out in both directions across her abdomen. He knew they were there…he'd heard the surgeon describing the procedure the night it happened. And Alyssa had told him…but being face to face with it brought it all home.

"Kelly?" Alyssa said in a quiet voice…

This is what she had been afraid of…that once he saw her body he would think she was ugly…and he wouldn't want her.

"Lyssa…are you sure?" he asked.

"Do you not want to?"

"No…"

Then he realized how bad that sounded.

"No! Lyssa…I want you more than I've ever wanted you in my life…I just…I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't…you won't."

He pulled back…studying her again…then he pulled her to him and went back to kissing her.

"You're beautiful…" he whispered in her ear. "So…so beautiful…"