Disclaimer: I do not own the teen titans….. But I'm going to ask santa for them on Christmas!!! :D
Chapter 7
Starfire stared out across the bay, she wasn't happy that she had yelled at Robin, she was thinking about apologizing for the way she had acted. She was his girlfriend and she had been treating him coldly for the past several days, she really needed to make up for it. She felt terrible, she had made up her mind she was going to apologize to him and ask for his forgiveness, she hoped he would give it to her.
"We need to talk," Robin's voice scared her, she hadn't expected him to come looking for her. Wait she thought better he must have been angry with her and probably wanted to know what was up. She wondered if she should tell him about Koren.
"About what?" She called out to him letting him do most of the talking if need be. She could feel his angry gaze on her back as she stared out at the never ending water that looked like it went on forever.
"You know what," He said icily. Ok he hadn't meant to come up here to yell at her but he was still a little peeved at the thought of her cheating on him so he kinda let his voice do its own thing.
"I wish to apologize for the behavior I have been exhibiting," She said her back still to him, her eyes were still searching the blackened bay.
He cut right to the chase and blurted out, "Are you cheating on me?"
Starfire grew still at the accusation. She would never cheat on some one, never in a million years. But then the thought of Koren drifted into her mind, she felt as if she was cheating on him not Robin, she was so confused.
"Starfire answer me," He tried to keep his voice from breaking but he couldn't. She finally turned to look at him when she heard his voice that time.
"why would you believe I would do a terrible deed as that?" her voice was small and dumbstruck.
He had to hold his ground and voice what he was thinking, "You've been acting all strange lately. You get angry so easily at me, you storm off and such," He was explaining all this and Starfire knew that if Robin ever acted that way to her she would have thought that he was cheating on her. Yeah she would have been mad but she knew that it would slowly wear away to the point were she would move on and eventually forget about it, but something in Robin's face showed that he would never forget and would probably never move on if she had. It pained to see him love her so much when she wasn't ready to give him her heart yet, she felt guilty and ashamed of herself for leading him on like that.
"I have not done the cheating," She said softly.
"You know what cheating is right?" Robin asked just to make sure. (( No I don't that's rude in my opinion I would have asked the same thing!!))
Starfire's eyes searched his face. She saw the pained expression and she saw how much she was hurting him by letting him love her more than she was willing to give, "Yes I know what the cheating is. And I know I would never do such a thing," Her voice was low and melancholy. She couldn't do this, she was hurting him and herself by holding on to this relationship. There was someone out there who could truly love him and give him every ounce of love they had to him, and that wasn't her. She had already given that and she wasn't ready to give it again. She looked away from him. She felt two arms come around her and a body pressed up against her own, she looked back to see Robin staring at her.
"I'm sorry for accusing you, really I am. Please, please don't be mad at me," He said his tone teasing but his words serious. She just stared at him, thinking. She didn't know what she was going to do, she didn't want to break his heart by breaking up with him, she did love him but not in the way he wanted or the way she wanted to love him either.
"I am not angry," She said looking away from him once more.
"Then why wont you look at me?" he asked her, he did love her but it wasn't the right kind of love, but he still hadn't realized it. He grabbed her chin tilting her head to look at him, "Please tell me what's wrong," His voice was pleading. He wanted to help her, he felt that if she told him what was bugging her he could help her through it.
"You would not be able to do the standing of under," She said avoiding eye contact.
"Please Starfire you seem so- so, agitated I just want to help you," Starfire looked at Robin and saw that had to stop avoiding things or their relationship as friends or anything else would become strained and probably lost. She didn't want to lose Robin no that would just break her heart more than it already was.
"Do not get the upset with me please?" She asked him.
"Promise," he had no clue where this was going and wasn't so sure he wanted to know anymore. Starfire pulled out of Robin's arms and went to sit on the ledge of the roof pulling her knees up to her chin and resting her head on them letting the light breeze whip her hair around her face. Then a thought hit him, "Is this about that Koren person?" He asked softly as he came down to sit next to her, wrapping his arm around her in a comforting sort.
"Yes," Her voice came out almost a whisper he almost couldn't hear what she said, "It was so long ago, but it seems as if it had happened the day of yester." She tilled her head up to look up at the night sky, the clouds hid the shining crescent moon that always brought her comfort on nights she couldn't get Koren off her mind.
"What happened? Was he like a brother, an uncle? Who was he?" Robin was curious and concern at the same time he didn't know where this was going or what it would lead to in the end.
"Neither brother nor uncle, he is not related. At least I hope we were not related," Starfire meant that as a lighthearted joke but it didn't lighten the mood she was in at all.
"Then what was he? Was he someone who wanted to hurt you?" Robin was grasping for answers on who this guy was and why he had such an effect on his star.
Starfire looked at him yeah she was offended by him saying that but he didn't know, she couldn't get angry over that like she would have before, "No, he would never hurt me. It was his duty to protect no matter what, even if it meant ending his life," She was looking back up at the clouded starless sky. Robin looked at her still not grasping at what she was saying.
"Star then who was he?"
"He was my warrior," She couldn't help but let out a snort which Robin smiled at weakly not wanting to offend her on acciendent.
"So what happened to your warrior?" Robin pressed.
"He was a year older than me, it was his day of birth three weeks ago he is the age of 17 I believe." She said, "He was from one of the poorest family's on Tameran but he was also from a family of the best swords men," Robin then knew why that sword he saw her with yesterday was of so much importance, "He had eyes that I will never be able to forget," She stared wistfully into the sky at remembrance, "They changed to the color of his mood. He hated them did you know that?" She looked at him his eyes imploring, "I thought they were beautiful, they were one of the many things I loved about him," robin almost choked on spit. Starfire looked at him with concern.
"Did you just say you loved him?" Robin's eyes grew wide from behind his mask.
Starfire instantly regretted telling him but it was out in the open so she couldn't say no and she would never say she didn't love Koren, "Yes," She said quietly, "He how you say, he was my soul mate in most languages," She wouldn't look at him she grew uncomfortable and wished she could crawl under a rock and hide.
"Soul mates?" Robin really didn't know what he was talking about, he didn't want to know what she was saying really.
"Yes," She still wouldn't look at him.
"Starfire, what do you mean soul mates? Wait like what Raven was talking about at dinner?" He had a sick feeling in his stomach.
"It is much more intense, it is like you have found the one who is the other half of you. The one who looks at you as if you're the only one that mattered, the one who was willing to give up their life to safe your own even if you do not deserve it," Tears were forming in her eyes and Robin saw this, "H-he gave up his life to save me," She said. The tears falling from her face. Robin didn't know what the hell to do, he really didn't expect the conversation to go this way not in a million years would he have guessed it would go in this direction.
She looked at him now waiting for him to say something, "I don't know what to say," He was still letting the information sit with him.
"I knew you would get mad!" Starfire put her face in her hands angry with herself.
Robin on instinct pulls Starfire's hands away from her face and pulls her close to him close to his chest, "I'm not mad, its just a lot to swallow," He whispered in to her ear. He heard as her sobs began to quiet down as she pulled away to look at him. She wiped at her face to get rid of the tears.
"Y-you are not?" She stammered.
"No," he stroked her hair for several seconds. She looked at him confused, "Starfire its ok I get it you don't love me the way I want you to. I don't want to force you to give me something your not ready to give," He stroked her cheek with his thumb making her smile at him a small smile.
"But I do not think I will be able to ever give you all of my love, I still so feel strongly toward him I do not think I could love anyone with all of my heart if it was not him," Her eyes down cast in shame.
"Starfire, come on I just don't want to lose you and if that means we have to go back to being best friends then ok just please no more mood swings?" He asked teasingly. Starfire looked at him.
"I would like that and I will promise you no more of the swings of mood." Robin pulled Starfire to him.
"Just before we go back to being friends can I do this one last time?" He asked softly.
Starfire knew what he wanted and decided she owed him that. She nodded her head, he began to lean in and before she could even lean in he had his mouth was on hers and was moving it back and forth over it. His lips were tender and loving, acting as if he was trying not to break her. It took Starfire several seconds before she responded by kissing him back, she remembered when she used to dream about Robin's kisses but that was when she had thought she was over Koren, turns out she was far from over him. Robin moved his hands to the small her back, she was lost in his kiss. It was amazingly warm, soft, tender, sweet, and it made her not want to pull away. She wrapped her arms around his neck deepening the kiss, everything slipped from her mind. She forgot why she was up there, why she had been upset, and why she was breaking up with Robin.
A moan escaped Robin's lips breaking the silence that had fallen over the two, they hadn't kissed since Tokyo and Robin wasn't to happy that he wasn't going to have more kisses from her, more intement moments with her. He was going to miss those but he couldn't force her to love him no matter how much he would want to, if he wanted them to stay close after this he was going to have to let her do what she wanted. Robin began to move over to Starfire, she was starting to lean back as he began to crawl on top of her. Starfire forgot where she was all that she knew was that she was on the roof and Robin was almost on top of her. Then a prickly feeling made the hairs at the nape of her neck stick on end and the image of Koren flashed through her mind, that made her pull away from Robin. He was panting and she was breathing hard as well, the feeling of that Koren was watching her didn't leave her and it filled her with excitement and guilt.
"I'm really going to miss those," Robin whispered, before he dipped his head back down to brush his lips over Starfire's lips lightly.
Starfire grinned at him, "You are a great friend Robin," She said. She caressed his face with the palm of her hand, "But can you leave me alone I would like to be alone with my thoughts," She said pushing Robin off of her and she pulled back up into a sitting position, turning away from robin so she could look back up at the sky.
Robin rubbed Starfire's back, "What ever you say," He stood up giving her one last look before he walked to the access door and walked into the tower. Starfire took several breaths before she called out into the night sky.
"You may come out, I know you are there!" At first nothing happened and she thought she could have been wrong, but then she heard foot steps and that sound excited her. Man she was mess in her opinion. The foot steps stopped a few feet short of her, she turned over her shoulder to see who her companion was. She searched the roof until her eyes slammed into a strong built figure his cherry coke hair brushed over his dark black sunglasses. She felt her cheeks grow warm and a self conscious and guiltily feel to him have maybe seeing her good bye kiss with Robin.
"Was I interrupting something?" Korwen's voice was rough and husky it held a hint of anger and hurt in his voice.
"OH no you did not do the interrupting of anything," She didn't know why she felt as if that anger and hurt was toward the goodbye kiss. Korwen grunted as if he didn't believe her, but he just walked over to her, he stood right behind her. His nearness sent a shiver of pleasure through her body, she didn't get why but him near her felt right and comforting and she wanted him closer to her.
"Uh huh," the thigh of right leg brushed up against her bare back it made her feel a warm and gooey on the inside, "So why did you send him away?" Starfire twisted her head to look at him with a better view, the moon shone off of his gorgeous features making them stand out and look more defined.
"I just wanted to be alone," She said.
"Oh then I guess I'll go back to my room," He turned back and was about to walk away but when he felt a pull on his hand he stopped to see Starfire grabbing hold of him, a desperate look in her eyes but it soon disappeared and was replaced with a soft warm look.
"You may stay," She said softly turning away from him but not taking her hand from his she loved how warm and soft it felt in hers, he didn't take his hand from her's. He thought it felt good to have her touch him again even if she didn't think it meant anything but it meant everything to him. He had on a black sweat shirt with a navy t-shirt underneath and baggy jeans. He sat down next to Starfire her fingers were intertwined with his and she made no movement to pull away but he did, the image of Robin on top of her kissing her flashed into his mind and he pulled his hand away like he had just been burned. Starfire looked at him concerned, "What is wrong?" Her voice was soft and he could listen to it all day if it wasn't already night.
"Nothing," He said trying at to look at her or think about how much he wanted to be the one on top of her kissing her but he wasn't and his eyes started to turn a rusty red color.
"Oh," She said in a small quiet voice. Koren's arm brushed against her arm sending another ripple of pleasure through her body, and this time Koren saw it and mistook it as the chilly night air.
"Here," He said. He began to pull off his black sweat shirt and handed it to Starfire took it, she put it on. His smell and body warmth clung to it. It smelled of Koren, from when he used to work on the Tameranian fields.
"Thank you but I am not truly cold," She admitted.
"Ok," Koren said nonchalantly as he reached for the sweat shirt Starfire held it out of reach.
"No, I would like to wear it still," She gave him a sheepish smile which warmed his insides.
"Whatever," He was trying to say as few words as possible. He thought that if he said more then he would spill his guts to her and tell her who he was and how long he had been wanting to be near her looking at the stars even if they weren't shining at that moment. Starfire felt that soul deep connection she had felt with Red X not but yesterday, she reached a tentative hand up to Koren's face reaching for his sunglasses. He got defensive, "What are you doing?" He didn't try and hide his surprise.
She stopped her hand in mid air, " I just wanted you to do the off taking of the glasses of solar for the ball of fire is not even shining," She explained become nerves and mad at her self for not being better at English and him probably thinking she was dumb or something. She began kicking herself she barely knew this guy! She shouldn't be acting this way toward she could be friendly yes but she felt as if she was doing the flirting and she wondered if he was feeling the giddiness she felt toward him when he was this close to her.
"Don't," well that was a mood killer Starfire thought. How could she have been so stupid to try and take off his sunglasses, Robin hadn't let her take off his mask for about a year and even then he had not let her do it willingly. She had just met this guy and she should have expected he wouldn't let her take off the sunglasses he wore at all times.
"I am sorry."
"Again I think that is the dumbest word it really doesn't do much. Who was that Koren guy you where talking about?" Koren had heard bits and pieces of the conversation all he heard was his name and her weeping right after she said it.
She looked at him, her eyes searching his face. She felt comfortable with him she felt she could tell him anything but she also felt as though he already knew who Koren was, "Did you not do the under hearing of mine and Robin's conversation?" She asked him.
"I did all I heard was you say Koren then you burst into tears, I'm just curious." he shrugged his shoulders.
"He was someone who does not go a day with out crossing my mind," She said wistfully staring up into the sky pulling his sweat shirt around herself even tighter.
"Uh-huh," He said to her. She looked up at him, even though his eyes were hidden she was sure she was staring directly into them and they held her gaze a steady intense gaze that she couldn't look away from. She felt herself leaning, and she saw him leaning to but before there lips could even touch Koren was standing with a pissed angry look, "I need to go to bed, I have work tomorrow night," He turned from her walking away leaving her alone on the roof enclosed in his still warm sweat shirt. A dumbfound look crossed her face.
What just happened? She asked to her self as she inhaled the earthly, farm land smell bring a wave of comfort but them the thought of him not next to her brought a wave of emptiness.
Koren walked down the hallway tears streaming down his face, he almost kissed her! What the hell was he thinking? Yeah he was still in love with her and it took all of his will power to keep his emotions in check, it was killing him to do so. She had a boyfriend, and it pissed him off that he had found them having a make section on the roof.
Then why did she look like she was going to willingly kiss me? The thought came just as quickly as it left. He finally made it to the room he was staying in, with all that green in the room it gave off an earthly aurora that reminded him of the fields on Tameran and he liked that. But the calming color of the room didn't quench the burning sensation of anger coursing through him, he took one look at the wall and slammed his fist into it, he let one thing run through one thing he never felt for 5 years. Confiendice, when his fist contacted with the wall it created a beautiful hole in the wall, a scowl graced his lips as he sat on his bed placing his face in his hands, and let the tears fall freely down his face until he fell into a comfortable sleep leaving all his stress and worries in the land of the conscious.
Ok not my favorite chapter but heyy I really don' t feel like going back and re-doing it so I'm leaving it as is. Oh and if your wondering why if Robin and Starfire break up in this chapter I gave them such an intement kiss well its because Starfire does care about Robin when kissed her she forgot about who was kissing her and stuff so she just let it go the way it went. So shoot me if you didn't like that… ok don't shoot just review instead :D next chapter coming whenever I feel like typing it and uploading it :P so yepp BYES!!!
