Annie was about a month into her leave. She would be returning to work in another month. Mostly she and Ryan spent nights in, eating simple dinners and sharing favorite movies with each other. It wasn't all about the sex, they would often just fall asleep on the couch, both still recovering from physical and emotion wounds they collected the last few months. They would also work out together, sparring, spotting each other. Annie loved being competitive with Ryan. She was much better at footwork due to her lighter frame and she loved rubbing it in.
Now that her medical condition was no longer a secret, Annie found a local doctor to see. She had Avram transfer all her records to Dr. Wendy Lee. It took a little time to get in, but her appointment coming up later in the week. She hadn't had an episode since her mission in Turkey. Eyal was there to see her through it. He had urged her to consider surgery after her return and she took his advice.
Annie met McQuaid at a bar. She had spent the day house hunting. A bunch of the guys from McQuaid had come back from a successful mission and they were all out to celebrate. It was a joint mission with the CIA's DPD, and Auggie was there too. It was a fun time, all the trash talk and drinking games reminded Annie of her early days at the CIA and nights at Allen's Tavern with Jai and Auggie. Annie shared a quiet moment with Auggie. They hadn't seen each other in a couple of weeks. They were at a couple of debriefs and hearing together, but didn't have much opportunity to chat.
"So, how was working with the guys at McQuaid?"
"Not so bad, bunch of cowboys, reminded me a lot of the guys I worked with while in the Special Forces. A lot of McQuaid's guys were once Army guys, some Special Forces. Guess once you get to know people, they're not so bad."
"Is this you coming around to PMCs?"
"It's all about the common mission Walker."
"Auggie, we haven't had a chance to talk other than work. I mean really talk about everything that happened between us. I want to make sure we're okay."
"Annie, it's all water under the bridge."
"Really?"
"Really. Just like when we came back and told me you wanted things to go back to the way they were when we were operative and handler. I want that for us now. I get what you were getting at the day you returned."
"What do you think I was I getting at?"
"Just that it's hard to do our jobs when we have emotional attachments. For you, the last couple of months have been about completing missions, doing your job. It was all you thought you had left. You didn't think you had me, that I had you, had your back. You wanted to focus on your job and I didn't get that, but I get it now."
"Ok, well, my job won't be needing a handler anymore unless I get cleared to work in the field. So looks like we won't be having much to do with each other at work until that happens."
"Until that happens? You're looking to get cleared for the field?"
"I don't know. I feel lost when I'm not in the field, but the field has cost me a lot. I still have some things to work out. I have been looking at options for surgery. Having a biopsy done soon and with that last piece of information the surgeon can make an assessment."
Auggie liked that she was confiding in him though he knew he was being cold towards her. He was still angry that she didn't trust him and put him in a corner when she returned. Too much had happened between them for her to always choose the job and the mission over him, but she chose her missions and she chose McQuaid.
"I'll be there for you. When will you know?"
"I have that biopsy appointment later this week. I have some more tests to get done before my doctor. . ."
Before Annie finishes, McQuaid had snuck up behind her. McQuaid noticed Annie with Auggie from across the room. He knew they were close, he wasn't exactly sure how close, but he had a suspicion. He made his way over to them, caught up in his curiosity about their conversation. Ryan wasn't exactly jealous, he was still putting together the puzzle that was Annie Walker. He wanted to know her.
"Auggie! Thank you for the tech support on our little joint venture."
"Glad it all turned out peachy!"
"I want to thank you for helping Annie out and giving her leeway to investigate Caitlyn, I don't think I ever mentioned to you how grateful I was."
Auggie is pissed. Who does he think he is? Of course he will always help Annie, he knew her for way longer than McQuaid and they had history together that McQuaid can't possibly know.
Auggie responds with some irritation. "Annie and I go back a long way, I'll always have her back! If you will excuse me, there's another stout waiting for me. Annie, see you back at Langley in about a month? If you get a date on that thing we were talking about, let me know, I'll be there."
"Bye Auggie," says Annie as she gives him a kiss.
Annie turns to McQuaid, "What was that about?"
"What do you mean? Just wanted to thank the man."
"Looked like a pissing match to me."
Auggie knew Annie for years, he worked closely with her, McQuaid wanted Annie to let him in like she let Auggie in. McQuaid had put two and two together and after that exchange he felt his hunch was right, he knew Auggie was Annie's last love. He wasn't one to feel threatened, but where Annie was concerned he wasn't always rational.
"You're reading too much into it."
"I think I'm going to head back to my place tonight, it's getting late, I'm not sure all the fried bar food is agreeing with me." says a tired looking Annie.
"You look far too beautiful to head home alone Ms. Walker, spend the night?" asks Ryan as he puts his curled fingers to her cheek.
Ryan wishes this dance they did would come to an end. Where would he spend the night? His place or her place or alone at home? Annie smiles, hesitant. "There's nothing left to the imagination if we spend every night together."
"I'm still waiting for that answer, there's plenty of room at my place for your few belongings Annie and for you to retreat if you need it. Why don't you just move in before you have to head back to work and get sucked into Langley's hours."
Annie looks down then back up into Ryan's eyes. "Stop pushing Ryan. If you must know, I want to get in to see the doctor first and I'm not sure, this pace. . . I need some more time."
Suddenly it dawns on McQuaid. He realizes the root of her hesitation and he's frustrated and it shows as he pulls Annie to a quiet corner and speaks intensely, "Annie, your heart and your prognosis, doesn't matter. When are you going to realize that you don't have to think about others at your own expense. Don't hesitate on my account. I'm a big boy and what matters is that I love you and I want to us to work, I want us to be together."
It was the first time he had told her he loved her. He didn't quite mean to say it at that moment. He knew he loved her for a long time, but he wasn't planning on telling her at a bar full of half drunk soldiers. He had spent a large sum of money on an engagement ring for Annie just a few days ago. Once McQuaid made up his mind to go after something, he went after it. He hadn't loved another since his wife Kelly and from the moment he met Annie, he had a feeling he had met his match again.
"Everything is happening so fast," Annie whispers. "I'm sorry, I didn't plan on saying 'I love you' in this setting, it wasn't very romantic was it?" Ryan continues in a softer voice. "The pace, doesn't it suit people like us? What I learned over the years and especially recently is that every day is precious, everyday is a gift, wouldn't you agree with that?" She smiles, moves in closer, aware that his employees and Auggie and Calder are still at the bar, she whispers, "Someone else close to me gave me similar advice about enjoying every meal as if it were one's last. I am intense, I'll give you that. I'll meet you at your place." Ryan watches her as she walks towards the exit.
McQuaid is a happy man. He quickly works the room and heads to his car.
On the drive over, Annie hears the words Ryan uttered, "I love you." It makes her smile, but she's still worried about things moving too fast.
Although she was happy, Annie was always cautious after her many failed relationships. The rug was pulled out from under her one too many times for her to let go with Ryan. She had to admit that she had fallen for him.
