chapter7

"Thanks for meeting me Bonnie." The two of them were sitting at a coffee bar and drinking lattes. "Nonsense Kim. I told T..., um, Ron that if he needed a shoulder, I had two, no waiting. The same goes for you." Kim bristled slightly at the close slip of Bonnie's pet name for Ron, but let it go. Suddenly, without her realizing it, everything came rushing out in a torrent. The last two months of irritation and worry and pressure all let loose. "I just want to know Bonnie! He won't let me in at all! Just a smile and a wink and a 'Everything's fine K.P., no problem, can't complain'. I can't take it, I step on eggshells around him anymore. It's just, just, I get so mad, and then I feel so guilty over being mad, and then I get frustrated and that makes me mad and he won't talk to me anymore! Why won't he just talk to me? Why is he doing this? What did I do?" Her hands were shaking and coffee was splashing out and scalding her where it landed. Her vision blurred as her eyes welled up and stung, forcing her to clasp them tightly shut lest she lose all composure. After an awkward moment of squeezing her eyes shut and biting down on her lip, she continued. "It's just that he's so different Bonnie. Everything's so... different." She put her coffee down. Bonnie sat back, then smiled. She grabbed Kim's arm and stood up. "C'mon. If we're going to have this talk, we need the proper atmosphere. And alcohol. In large quantities. With paper umbrellas. And cherrys on plastic swords."

They sat and talked and drank. Bonnie had reassured Kim. "He doesn't hate you, you know." The statement made Kim sit back, a questioning look on her face "How?" "Do I know that's what you were going to ask" Bonnie smiled. "Kim, I've been dealing with people in Ron's situation for a long time. Did you know my dad was on dialysis? That's the reason I went into the medical field to begin with." She picked the olive out of her martini and bit down on it, tasting the bitterness of the gin. Chewing slowly, she sat back and rested her chin between her thumb and index finger, giving Kim a knowing look. "You're a doer Kim, I am too. So let me tell you some advice that you ought to take, but I know you won't. Accept the fact that there's nothing you can do about the situation you're in. Also, accept the fact that he's still Ron. And none of this is your fault. It's not his either, by the way." Kim started to protest, but Bonnie shushed her. "I know you know that up here." She tapped her head. "But in here" She patted her chest. "You haven't come to grips with that yet." Kim sat back and sighed.

"I hated your guts when you and Ron started dating you know. I even knew where I was going to bury the body. I had an airtight alibi and everything." Bonnie looked at Kim, took a thoughtful sip on her drink and smiled warmly as she nodded. "Good. Nice to know my plan worked." At this, Kim sat back and took a deep gulp of her own drink before answering. "You mean you actually did date Ron just to mess with me!" Bonnie gave Kim an arched eyebrow. "Maybe to start off, yeah. A little. There were other reasons. Tweaking you was just an added bonus. Remember, I hated your guts too. Even more so when Ron broke it off." They were sitting in a back corner of the bar, Kimhad been doingher best to act nonchalant. The act faltered as she asked. "Ron broke it off? He never said, I mean, I just assumed ... Huh." Bonnie laughed. "Yeah, he dumped me. Ironic, no? And I couldn't even get mad at him for doing it. He's slick, is our Mr. Ron Stoppable." For some reason, this made Bonnie snort and start to laugh uncontrollably. She wiped a tear out of her eye. "Ok. Let's talk. I know you've got questions and you're frustrated. So use me as a sounding board. Believe me, it really does help to vent, and I promise what you say here, stays here, as long as the same goes for me." Kim sat back and stirred her drink with her straw, thinking.

"I don't know what to say anymore. I never really thought about there not being a Ron in my life and all of a sudden, every time the phone rings, I panic. I get cold sweats. I have horrible dreams about the hospital. I keep thinking that I'm going to wake up and find out he's dead, that he died in that emergency room and I've gone insane and am just in denial. Other times, I forget he's sick, just for a moment. I wake up and think everything really is all right." Kim trailed off and Bonnie reached over to touch her arm. "You watch him sleep, don't you?" When Kim didn't answer, Bonnie continued. "I kinda figured. I do too, you know. He's like my dad was, trying hard to not worry anyone. Kim, you've got to understand, Ron hates the fact that he's hurting you more than anything else. Eventually, he'll try and get you to leave him. He'll say things, do things just to get you angry and he'll be really good at it too." The look in her eyes said that she had experience with this. "Don't you dare leave. He'll think if you do, it'll spare you the pain. It doesn't. It makes it worse, trust me. I'm going to give you my cell number and I want you to call me anytime, day or night. Anytime you need me." She sat back and polished off her drink. "Ok. Your round I think."