"Motherfuck."

After ten minutes of searching, I was annoyed. How the hell could there be no alcohol in this entire bungalow?

I really wanted a drink right about now.

I had been so determined to talk to bobbles after the rose ceremony, but before I could even step off the pedestal Tyler was directing me over to the side to talk about some kind of re-shoot we needed to take of me meeting the host. By the time all that bullshit was taken care of, Bella was nowhere to be seen.

So yeah, I was determined to talk to her, but it looked like I was going to be waiting a while. We had the next day off from filming, and I couldn't think of a way to sneak into the mansion without being accosted by one of the other women.

Where the fuck was the alcohol?

I suddenly remembered the stocked pool bar at the girls' house.

"Fuck it," I muttered as I pulled on my shoes. I should be able to get in and grab a bottle of anything before anyone noticed me. They were all inside anyway.

I made my way to the pool faster than I thought. The houses weren't that far apart, only a couple minutes' walk, but it still seemed faster than when I left. I stuck to the shadows around the pool, trying to sneak over to the bar without drawing attention to myself when I heard clinking glass. I scanned the pool and immediately zeroed in on Bella. She was in the same position she had been in that first night, only her wine glass had been replaced by scotch, and her dress was now a sweater that hung off her shoulder and some shorts that made my mouth water. I tried not to stare but I couldn't even stop myself if I tried as I made my way over to her.

"Care to share?" I asked as I kicked off my shoes beside her.

She didn't answer me, only watched as I rolled the legs of the sweats I changed into up to my knees. I plopped down next to her and let my legs drop into the water next to hers, and all the while she just watched me.

"Bella?"

"Hmm? Oh right, scotch?" she offered, holding out the bottle.

"Gladly," I smiled and took the bottle from her, before plucking the glass out of her hand as well and pouring more than a few fingers. She scowled as I took a large drink from her glass before setting it between us.

"I did ask you to share…" I said, enjoying the buzz from the liquor and the water from the pool and the current I felt radiating off her body.

She just shook her head and stared at my feet

"You have amazing feet." she said. She didn't sound drunk at all, but then I couldn't imagine why she would comment on my feet.

"Yeah?" I chuckled, tapping my foot against hers in the water, "Well yours are pretty damn cute."

She giggled before she could stop herself and I thought it was probably the best sound in the world. Entirely carefree and natural and all the better because I inspired it, but it only made me think back to today-how closed off she was and her confusing words at the end.

I suppose she was thinking the same thing, because something seemed to sober her up as she stared down at our feet.

"Hey, can we talk about today…?" I started, wondering if she was even willing to go there.

"What about it?" she mumbled as she took a gulp of her drink.

Well…to start with—you were distant for most of it. I didn't like it. But then we danced and… afterwards? What's wrong beautiful?" I'd noticed that as I'd talked her face had grown darker.

"Look, you don't have to do that," she finally huffed and looked me dead in the eye.

"Do what?"

"Placate me, or whatever it is you think you're doing. I'm not into polyamory, and we both know I'm not beautiful, so I don't really see why the fuck you're screwing around with me. You do realize no one's filming this right?"

Her words stunned me.

"Look Bella…"

"Nuhuh, don't 'look Bella' me, I'm not here to date you. I'm not here to be famous, or to be the next bachelorette, or what the fuck ever. I'm here because my family signed me up, and I'm too much of a fucking push over to tell them no, so can we please just drop this fucking act, because unlike you I didn't memorize those lines they gave me, and I don't have any fucking energy to adlib tonight. You literally exhaust me."

I was gaping, too shocked to stop her as she started to stand, but I reached out blindly and wrapped my fingers around her calf while I tried to think of what I could say, how I could salvage this.

"Do you feel that?"

It was the first question that came to mind. The only thing I could ask, since it was the only thing I could think about when I touched her. Why couldn't she see that? I looked up at her as she bit her lip, staring at my hand around her calf. I squeezed gently and the thrilling zoom of electricity shot into my body at an even higher rate.

"Do you know what I'm talking about?"

I wanted her to know. She had to feel this. If she could feel this she could get past everything else. All the bullshit we were undoubtedly going to have to face. If she could just see that none of it was a line.

I stared up at her as her eyes drifted from my hand to my face. They lingered on my jaw before locking onto mine. I felt myself being pulled into them, my hand around her leg the only tether I had left to where we were. Please.

She nodded slowly, biting on her bottom lip, and it felt like all the air left my lungs at once.

"I'm not spitting lines here bobbles. I'm not adlibbing either. I'm just here, with you, wanting a drink because I've dealt with this stupid as shit show all day dreading it and acting and hating every second- faking every second- except when I was with you. I don't know where you got the idea that I was faking anything with you from, because anyone with eyes can see how differently I look at you than any of those other women in that house. I just want to talk okay, just stop trying to push me away for five fucking seconds and maybe…" I trailed off, not exactly wanting to get into all the maybes that had run through my mind.

Her eyes were wide and her breathing unsteady as she slowly sat back down next to me; I hoped that she believed me.

"Why do you call me bobbles?"

I smiled at the unexpected question and nudged her foot with mine.

"I don't think you'll like my answer."

She just looked up at me and nodded, handing me the glass.

"Well, you did bobble on those heels a lot," I said before taking a sip of my drink, enjoying the way she scowled and punched my leg a little too hard. I decided to put her out of her misery.

"But that's not the reason."

Her eyes found mine and again I was lost in them, struggling to remember what I was telling her.

I raised my hand up and let my thumb sweep under her eyelashes as I noticed something that didn't strike me until now: she wasn't wearing makeup. None that I could see anyway. I probably had on more tonight than she did, and I smiled to myself at the small irony.

"It's your eyes, really… they just, well my mom used to have these earrings, she wore them all the time, said they were her happy earrings, anyway, I can remember sitting on her lap and playing with them, watching the light shine off them. I guess your eyes just remind me of them, you know? They were brown and big and shiny and I don't know... it's a little silly."

I felt stupid after I lay out all the reasons for her nickname but as I met her eyes, I could see something shining there that wasn't before. Like maybe the wall was down for once or at least starting to be.

"You asked me before if I could feel it too, can you tell me what you meant?"

She nudged my shoulder against hers and I struggled to try to put into words what I didn't know.

"I don't know Bella… it's like, when you touch me, or I touch you, or our skin just comes into contact… but then, that's a bad way to start because I kind of feel it now and we're not even touching… anyway, it's like, the hair stands up on my neck and I feel alert and al—"

"You feel like electricity is shocking you to the core, but it's good and powerful and deep all at the same time. Like your heart gets a little kick and your skin tingles and your breath picks up?"

She felt it, the way she was talking, like she took my words and made them better. I felt my eyes pulled into her and I just wanted to drown in her forever

"Like you could just block out the entire world, like nothing you've ever felt with anyone else you've ever touched right? Like there's something going on and I don't even know what but it thrills me and scares the shit out of me and—"

"Can I kiss you?"

I didn't even register what I was saying before the words were out of my mouth, but I realized I wanted nothing more than her lips in that moment. I wanted it so, so bad and all I could think about was her saying yes.

I was already leaning towards her so when I saw her breath rush out between her parted lips and her head nod slowly, all I could do was bridge the gap between us.

As our lips met, the spark was there, of course it was there… it shot though my whole body, and I felt more alive than I'd ever felt before, but the kiss was so much more than I expected. Her lips were wet and soft and they slid across mine, gentle and chaste and it was the fucking greatest thing in the entire world. I slid my hand along her jaw, holding her neck steady as I deepened the kiss, not even enough to be inappropriate for a first kiss, but still enough. Enough that my heart slammed into my chest and I felt my veins singing underneath my skin. Our breaths came out in pants and mixed between us as I backed off her parted lips slightly, pressing my forehead to hers and breathing her air.

All at once I felt like I could both stay here forever and that this would never be enough. I would never have enough of this woman, never quench this desire.

Suddenly she took me by surprise as she reached up and sucked my bottom lip in between her lips, and I felt my whole body jerk and respond to the sensation. I'm not even sure what sound came out of my mouth, but it was somewhere between a grunt and a moan. I was beyond caring. I kissed her fiercely, sliding my tongue along her lips and returning the favor to her top one. Her hands were in my hair and my fingers wove into hers as I tilted her head back and let my tongue dip into her mouth.

She tasted exquisite. Like wine and scotch and something sweet that managed to hold its own against the overpowering flavors of the alcohol. So good, yet nothing prepared me for the moan that came as I sucked her full lip into my mouth.

It was low and sexy and it shot straight to my core, pulling my already wound up body to a tee and urging me on. But I knew I had to stop soon. I knew that I wanted this to last, that taking advantage of this moment would not help out in the future. And I wanted to know her.

I pulled back slightly, resting my head against hers as our noses brushed and panting breaths mixed.

"Bella… we should stop." I was slightly embarrassed with how out of breath I sounded.

"Oh. Okay. You're right, I'm so sorry. That was so stupid. I'm sorry."

I was in such a different mindset than her, that it took me longer than it should have to realize she was upset. And then I was just confused again.

"Bella what the fuck are you apologizing for? That was the greatest kiss of my life. Of anyone's life I'd bet… why are you upset?"

This woman baffled me, but as I met her eyes and saw the happiness there, I knew that whatever the problems were, we were going to get through them.

"Oh you just… said stop, and I didn't want to make you feel…" she tapered off as she saw the look on my face, and I could only imagine what she saw there.

Bewilderment would be a good guess.

"Make me feel?"

Estatic? Horny? Like my cock was about to bust out of my zipper?

"You know… like you had to kiss me because you felt sorry for me or something. I don't know, forget it…" she said in a small voice.

Something clicked into place with her little freak out, something I should have caught onto by now but hadn't because I was an idiot. She may act confident, and square her shoulders, but she really wasn't, and I planned to do everything I could for the rest of my life to make her never doubt herself again.

Her face was turned away from me, so I took her chin in my hand and forced her to meet my eyes. Her brown baubles almost broke me from the sadness I saw there.

"Bella? Whatever you're thinking right now, you are completely and disturbingly wrong. I kissed you because I wanted to. Because you make my body come alive under your finger tips and my heart race from just eye contact. I'm on this show because my sister is an evil pixie with magical persuasive powers, and I never ever thought I'd be thanking her, but that's exactly what I'm doing tonight, because I would have never met you without this stupid as fuck TV show."

Her lips quivered as she stared at me, and then they were on me again and I couldnt even think with the way she made me feel.

Our kiss is slower this time, and I let myself get lost in it, sinking into the way I felt about this woman so fast.

I pulled back quickly and cradled her face in my hands.

"Will you spend the day with me tomorrow?" I asked like little boy asking his mother for candy.

Please say yes.

"Am I allowed to do that? It's a day off right?"

"Yes exactly! Just us.. no cameras, no competitors.. let me cook you breakfast and you can make lunch, and we'll share dinner duties, and we can watch a movie, or take a nap, or I don't even fucking care but just come to my place tomorrow morning, it would be so, so great to just be with you without having to read a line every thirty seconds."

"Slow down there, you never told me if I was allowed to do that!" she giggled while her eyes sparkled with happiness.

I leaned down until my parted lips hovered around her earlobe before whispering, "Do you care?" into her ear before pulling her lobe into my mouth.

"Mmm nope." She breathed before pulling back and beaming at me. "So breakfast then?"

"Breakfast." I smiled, and then, just because I could, I reached back in to kiss her more.

"So I better go, if I'm going to be MIA tomorrow, I should probably put in a little time tonight." She sighed, and I tried not the pout like a kid when his new toy was taken away.

"Mm if you must."

"Goodnight Edward."

"See you in the morning bobbles."