AN: hey guys, I have a crazy weekend coming up, I'll try to update at least once. If anyone is reading The Outdoor Cat and His Unicorn, I know I am slow with that, it's not coming easily, I will try to catch up next week on it. I hope you like this chapter, let me know what you think:)
I do not own or profit from The Walking Dead
Chapter 7
"Jesus Christ, I don't remember it being this fucking hard to instal a car seat before!"
Carol watched with Judith on her hip ,biting her lip, to hold back a smile as the guys attempted to install a car seat into their SUV. They had been at for over 20 minutes wanting to ensure it was installed correctly and had dissolved into mindless bickering like little old ladies. Mind you little old ladies with extremely foul mouths. Good lord they would give Daryl a run for his money she thought and then cringed internally. She wanted to be able to think of him and smile, to laugh at something he would find funny, but she couldn't. Carol wasn't sure if she ever could. She still could not think of Sophia without a fresh wave of pain consuming her soul, combined with Daryl's loss she felt like she was drowning inside. She just could not see that changing in the future.
An impressive rant of cursing filled the air knocking her out of her melancholy thoughts.
"I could help you if you want" she called.
"Nah, it's alright sweetheart, we almost got this motherfucker nailed down" Paul called out.
Carol snorted and responded "I hope your speaking metaphorically and there are no actual nails involved" she smiled when she was immediately answered by a chorus of "smart ass".
Rick hadn't realized how right he was when he said that she would find another group. One week with this group and she loved them all like brothers. They were nurtures at heart, and the funny thing was they didn't even realize it. Kinda like Daryl she thought with a pang, taking a few deep breaths to control her tears.
They had taken to Judith immediately, especially Perez,whose first name was Tomas which apparently caused mix ups, he said he preferred to be called Perez anyway after a lifetime career in the millitary.
Miller whose first name was John Jr, said he preferred Miller as well."when anyone calls me John I look for my Dad" he said sadly. Carol had wanted to hug him. He was so sweet and innocent in some ways, he reminded her a lot of Beth she thought with a twist of pain.
Thomas said his name was Peter and he just went by his last name because those two other two fucking morons did he'd said with a grin. He was extremely intelligent she'd realized and had a dry sense of humour.
They had been traveling together for awhile, all former military they'd formed there own little family unit as brothers with Paul as the leader. They'd recently stopped at small survivors camp and heard rumors of a safe zone somewhere along border of Tennessee and Virginia and that's where they were headed they'd told her.
They'd been so incredibly kind to her, making runs for supplies for Judith, and iron pills for herself to counteract the blood loss. They'd watched her religiously to make sure that she didn't overuse the hand with the stitches or need any help. Perez seemed to have no problem changing diapers or feeding Judith and she wondered if he'd had a baby at one point but didn't ask, she knew to well that pain without calling attention to it.
She hadn't wanted to assume that they would automatically take her and Judith with them, but she hoped they would. The last week had proven to her that she needed help, she couldn't make it on her own, so she asked,could she and Judith come with them? They been quiet for a moment looking at her in confusion when Paul spoke up " Well of course you're coming with us. Where the hell were you planning to go? You wanna give me a permanent ulcer worrying about the two of you out there on your own or something? Pfft"
She hadn't wanted any lies between them either so she told them, everything. Starting with Ed, to Sophia, Daryl, the prison, Karen and David, her banishment, the fall of the prison, Lizzie, her confession to Tyreese, and finally Daryl's charred body in Terminus to losing Tyreese. She'd felt emotionally drained afterward, but it had felt good to get it out. She had been scared to look at them to see judgement in there eyes when she was done. Her eyes to the floor she'd heard Perez first speak up
"Fuck...I didn't think it was possible but now I like you even more" she'd heard Miller and Thomas mutter "Fuck yeah" and "Me too" correspondingly. She'd looked up to find Paul smiling at her as he spoke "ain't gonna find judgement here sweetheart, believe me in this group innocent little angels, we are not."
"Speak for yourself" Miller piped in with a grin, to which the other three had responded to with groans and profanity laced comebacks, and just like that it was dropped.
She wanted to move forward, she wanted to be at the least happy. She wanted to be able to remember Daryl and Sophia the way they deserved. Daryl's loss was weighing so heavy on her soul right now, the only thing keeping her moving right now was Judith and in a way her new little family. If she had been alone she would curl up on the floor and wither away.
The what if's, what they could have had, were killing her. She would never know Daryl's touch, his kiss, what it would feel like to have him inside of her. That would be her life long biggest regret, she desperately wished life would grant you second chances.
She'd made mistakes, that was for certain, but she knew no matter what Rick said, she wasn't cold, there was no malicious intent to what she'd done. She would have to live with her mistakes forever as Tyreese said.
She did regret losing Tyreese, he had proven to be a better friend to her than she deserved, she hoped he was okay and that he wasn't alone and that he wasn't worried about her. The night she'd told her story to the group she'd found some old stationary in the post office and sat down to write to Tyreese, she 'd ended up writing probably more than what was necessary, Carol doubted he would ever find it, but it made her feel better to write it down. She intended to ask the guys if they could stop at her abandoned car to put it in the car.
"Fuck Yeah! Miller for the win!" Chimed from the car just then and she grinned once again as she heard them start arguing about beginners luck.
Paul popped his head out of the car "You ready to hit the road?"
"Yeah, just have one stop to make first"
