Jake of course flips out when he realizes I'm staying the week and demands to come stay with me. Ha. Not happening.

"Fine I don't know why you hate me so much but you need to let someone stay with you!"

"He's in jail, Jake. And I don't hate you. But this has been my life for over a year, I'm fine, I'm safe and I'm not going to run."

"Embry will come. Shit Bella I will even send Sam!"

"Why would I want you to send Sam?"

"Oh come on, I love you Bella and I know you. I know you like him. He's too old for you but considering you've been screwing your much older boss I guess he's an improvement."

"Leave him out of this. If you're not going to drop this send Embry."

He agrees and I run to check with Esme and she agrees so Embry is all set to be here this evening. Super.

Once he gets here I set him up in one of the rooms and introduce him to my kids. I have to stop thinking about them as my kids. The twins and Edward take to him immediately and Alice comes around.

"So Embry, are you Bella's boyfriend?" Alice asks him as we sit down to dinner.

"Oh no, not for not trying though." He answers and I glare at him.

"What's wrong with you Bella?" Alice asks me and I don't even know what to say.

"Alice, stop being rude." Esme scolds her and Alice tells her to shut up.

"Alice, be nice to your mom." I tell her softly. She's always like this when her mom bothers to be around.

"Why should I be?" She asks and Esme gets up and walks out. Real mature.

"Alice you know I have to leave. You understand that right? Your mom is really trying I think. You're going to need her and you really need to set a better example for the little ones. I'll always be here for if you really need me but you're going to have to give your mom and the new nanny a chance. Please Alice?" This is hard for me already but she's making it so much harder.

Embry is just sitting there like what the hell is going on?

We finish dinner awkwardly with the twins babbling and Edward talking to Embry like he's his new best friend.

After dinner Esme comes back in to clean up and after I get all the kids to bed I go to my room and Embry follows me.

"You want to sleep in here with me?" I ask him. I don't really want to be alone in this room. The last place everything was normal.

"Won't that be weird with the kids?" He asks nervously.

"Seriously? I screwed their dad right down the hall! They sleep through just about anything. No actually anything, except the sun. The sun hits and they are up. And I'm asking you to just sleep Em. I don't want to be alone, not here, not tonight." I whisper and suddenly I'm glad Jake forced me into this and I'm even more glad that it's not him or Sam. Sam…

"What has Jake said about Sam?" I ask Embry as I change clothes with him looking all nervous. He's acting weird. I change in front of him all the time; usually Paul is there too but still.

"Um, nothing?" He tries but I glare at him.

"He's a good guy Bella, Jake likes him but he's old for you. Obviously not as old as Carlisle but still. But he thinks Sam might like you and he knows you like him so he said he won't get in the way but he'll kill him if he hurts you." He tells me.

"It doesn't matter Embry. I don't like Sam. It was all an act." I lie to him.

"I know when you're lying Bella, why?" He asks and I hate how well he knows me.

"Because I don't think I can ever let another man touch me. And nobody's going to want me like that." I whisper.

"Bella, any man good enough for you will wait for you for as long as it takes." Embry holds me as I cry.

"Like you?" I ask him not really thinking.

"I know you'll never love me Bella. I've known that for a long time and it hurt at first but now I don't know. I'll take what I can get, even if it means making sure you don't get too drunk and sitting in the other room when you're Paul. I don't like it at all. I hate it when you drink and I hate Paul sometimes, even if he is my best friend, for the way he is with you. I hope someday I can meet someone to love that loves me but when I look at you I doubt it." He tells me quietly and I feel awful. He is so good just like Jake says but I can't change how I feel.

"I'm sorry Embry. You're a good friend. I'm lucky to have you. And so you know, I'm done with Paul too. Lay with me, just hold me please." I lead him to bed and we lay down.

"I'm sorry I don't love you Embry." I tell him just before I fall asleep.