Not a lot of warnings, just angst!
A shortie for the shorty.
He pushed the thoughts away, keeping them far away before the synapses clicked together and formulated the human transmutation circle knowing full well it wouldn't work.
He yelled at Teacher, blaming her, for what had happened and it was like he was trying to go through the five stages of grief all in a single go. Anger and bargaining battling with each other, suppressing the sad, pushing away the acceptance he needed to embrace. But denial was no problem. He'd seen what happened as if it were replayed in slow motion. That's what he was trying to push back.
Edward could not sleep through the night, exhausted as it was. He tossed and turned on the uncomfortable hospital cot, waking up in cold sweat several times. Though, by the time he really opened his eyes, the sun had traveled far into the sky.
Nobody had woken him up.
Huffing, Ed swung his legs over the bed and slipped on his boots; being treated like a child made of glass was the last thing he wanted. It sounded lively in the hall. Voices crept through the door, garbled;he couldn't make out exactly what they were saying. Ed entered into the hallway and the everyone stopped. It agitated his temper when they turned to look at him and froze as if they were caught doing something they weren't supposed to.
The Lieutenant, loose-haired and scraggly in clothes bigger than her, pushed off the nurses' counter. "Good morning, Edward. We've heated some food if you're hungry," she gestured behind the counter.
Slightly appreciative of Hawkeye keeping her serious disposition. He moved from the patient's room around the counter. May looked down as he glanced at her, briefly catching the puffy eyes and red nose. The Colonel stared forward, bags under his greyed out eyes. Scar and Jerso were nowhere to be found and Teacher -
Well, it seemed like she was avoiding looking at him all the same.
Ed grabbed the warmed can off the counter and plunged a spoon into the beans, but he might as well flung it to the wall. He hated this tiptoeing, this pity. The floor wasn't made of eggshells and neither was he.
"All of sudden everyone is quiet," he scooped in a spoonful of watery beans into his mouth. "What were you talking about?" Ed turned his head, curiously. He looked at the scraps of polymer and metal springs and random clips for ammunition. "What's this?
"Ed," Teacher finally said. "Are you-"
"I'm fine," he snapped, jutting the spoon into his beans. Ed put down the can with enough force to spill some of the liquid out of the lip, suddenly not hungry anymore. His tongue searched for shells of the legumes on his teeth. "What were you all discussing?"
Teacher went rigid.
Hawkeye shifted, after looking across the room, "I proposed leaving the hospital in search of supplies."
"Why?" He asked plainly, glaring into her. "I thought we had enough supplies. It's only been a day. Do eight - sorry, seven people go through that much in one day?"
He should have known better than to challenge the Lieutenant in a battle of stares. She wasn't amused and the Colonel sitting behind her didn't either. "For firearms, ammunition, for when we do leave Central, which we planned on doing soon."
For the first time ever, Teacher looked demure as she spoke, like another layer of her thickened skin had been stripped away. "We figured that lesser populated areas would be safer than being in the city."
Something flared within him, unsure where it came from. "We? Am I suddenly not a part of the discussion? Alphonse dies and -" he choked, placing a fist over his mouth. He cleared his throat straightening himself. His eyes burned and May suddenly left the hall, but she could still hear her sobbing into a cushion.
"We all are very, very sorry for what happened to Alphonse, Edward." Hawkeye started, squeezing her eyes shut and balling her fists against the desk, and he realized it just stung that much more when someone else said it. "Miss Izumi most of all as she feels most responsible."
"How about we don't worry about that for the time being?" He couldn't even begin to prepare to go down that emotional alley. Ed took in a deep breath, blinking at the ceiling, "I'll go."
Simultaneously, the three adults expressed their skepticism, "What?"
"Out there," he clarified. "Just tell me where to go." He chewed on another spoonful of beans.
"It would be reckless to go out there yourself," Teacher warned, but he shrugged off her words. "I'll go with you."
"That's not-"
"I'll go with him too," the Lieutenant said, before he could protest. "I still have an entire clip left and you'll need to know where to go." The barrel clicked as she jammed it into the firearm.
"Lieutenant," the Colonel said, concerned. Ed looked at them, she stared at him. He morbidly wondered if they still did that weird thing where they could look at each other and have an entire conversation by just glancing at each other.
"Then we should leave as soon as possible," Ed interjected into the silence.
"Edward," Hawkeye said warily.
"Why wait? The dead are already dead, it's not like they have weapons."
She gripped him by the shoulder as he walked past her and it grated on him. He tried to maneuver his shoulder to get loose, but she gripped harder. She stepped closer, looming over him even though they were nearly the same height. "Promise me you won't be reckless out there." She looked to the side for a moment and met his eyes again. "Grief can make you do stupid things at the cost of other. Promise me you won't."
"Yeah, yeah." He rolled off her hand. He'd keep his head. He'd keep it under control. He knew he could. What else could he fuck up? "Let's get back as soon as possible then."
Hawkeye nodded in confirmation and let him pass.
He heard all three go back into a conversation he, quite frankly, no longer cared for.
Edward was yanked to the side by his sleeve, the shirt was that much bigger than him exposing his shoulder. He stumbled into one of the patient rooms.
It was May.
She was crying so hard and so silently he was curious where the constant stream of tears came from. Her pet bear-cat sat next her. She was clutching her chest as if it were close to unravelling in front of her. Ed only suspect she had a crush, but she was crying enough for the both of them. For whatever reason, that hurt him. Not just for her, but for a thought he painfully pushed back even further. Vaguely, he realized there would be a point that space would run out.
May pointed to the door and he closed it behind him as she centered in the room.
"May," he said, more annoyed than he intended.
She said something but it came out in squeaks and sobs, falling to her knees.
He crouched down closer to her.
"I - I was saving it for him, I was helping him."
"What are you talking about May?"
"He was getting better, quicker than any of your realized."
He crunched his brow, unable to connect the dots. The muscles on his legs and arms tensed and chilled like when he stepped off for the train for the first time in North City.
May dug into her creases of her robes and it glittered in her head, refracting off the light that slipped in from the slats. A vibrant, red crimson that resembled the blood and soul that was used as sacrifice to make it. Her tears fell on vial only served to make the viscous liquid inside more brilliant.
Mouth gaping, he stared at it, then her. "May..where did you get this?"
She hiccuped from her incessant whimpers. "Bring him back."
A knot formed in his throat, thick and drying. He swallowed, feeling the cold sweat prickle the nerves on his skin. "Where did you…"
"Bring him back, Ed." She looked up and her dark eyes, bloodshot as they were, shook him.
She didn't know, he thought to himself. She didn't know why Al was in the body he was in or why he had an automail arm and leg. She wouldn't have the gall to ask this, but it enraged him all the same. She didn't know. She didn't know.
His automail creaked as it formed a fist.
May's shoulder slumped and she bowed her head - her entire body lowered to the ground like offerings made to gods.
"Get that away from me, May," he growled lowly. "And get up."
She curled her her fingers in and straightened her posture, pleading once more. "Please... I watched him die."
He turned away from her as his brow quivered, hands shaking. Before walking out the door, he told her, "Don't let anyone else see that."
