The Adventures of Super Snape and Malfoy boy
Deep beneath Hogwarts, well, in the dungeons, is the top secret Head Quarters for *Da da da daaa* SUPER SNAPE and MALFOY BOY. Each week, SUPER SNAPE and MALFOY BOY are given a special, and highly important task by someone special and highly important ( He is also very secretive, so he goes by the name of Admiral Important ).
Todays adventure : "THE KIDNAPPING OF PHILIP"
After a week of uneventfulness, Super Snape and his faithful sidekick, Malfoy boy go out in search of trouble.
Malfoy boy: Yeah, you better run away!
Harry: I'm not running! I'm still right in front of you!
Malfoy boy: Well....you should be!!
Harry: Should be what?!
Malfoy boy: You....should....ergh! You're no fun!
Malfoy boy storms off to find Super Snape.
Super Snape: And another thing, you smell !!
Malfoy boy: Er...Sir? Why are you shouting at Mrs Norris?
Mrs Norris: *meow* *walks off*
Super Snape: Stupid cat! I sure showed her!!
Malfoy boy: Erm...Well done. Sir, we haven't had any special and highly important tasks for over a week! The most interesting thing we've done lately was when we cooked those biscuits for Mcgonagall, and she got food poisoning, and we blamed it on the Weasley twins.
Super Snape: Yeah, that was great.
Malfoy boy: But it wasn't highly special and important !
Super Snape: I suppose you're right....
Just then, someone taps Super Snape on the shoulder. Super Snape turns around.
Super Snape: Granger? Weasley? What do you want?
Malfoy boy: Yeah, hmmmm?
Hermione: I, Brain Queen, and my sidekicky friend person, Weasel Kid...
Ron: Hermione! We've discussed this! I'm Ronder boy, ya know, coz it sounds like wonder boy...
Brain Queen: Oh don't be silly, you're Weasel Kid!
Weasel Kid folds his arms and scowls.
Brain Queen: Anyway, as i was saying, we have come to announce that we have kidnapped the Slytherin mascot and....
Malfoy boy: We have a mascot?
Super Snape: Yeah....that stuffed toy snake, Philip.
Malfoy boy: *stares for a moment, then suddenly remembers* You...stole...Philip!?!?? You...you...
Brain Queen: Shut up and let me finish! Yes, we've stolen Philip, and we're not going to give him back until you....
Lupin Lad storms up the corridor behind Super Snape.
Lupin Lad: Hey, you! Malfoy boy! You homewreaker you!
Malfoy boy: Eh?
Lupin Lad: Since when have you been Sevvies sidekick again?
Malfoy boy: Since last week, you retard!
Lupin Lad: Oh! Nice! You could've at least told me about it!
Super Snape: I did!! Many times!! Have you only just put that spoon down??
Lupin Lad: Yes. But thats beside the point!!
Brain Queen: WILL EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!!
Everyone falls silent.
Brain Queen: *Ahem* Thankyou. We will only return Philip, when you give Edward back to the Gryffindors.
Super Snape: Edward?
Lupin Lad: Scissorhands??
Malfoy boy: Who the hell's Edward??
Brain Queen: Edward is our mascot.
Malfoy boy: We don't have your stinking mascot !!!!!
Lupin Lad: So you WEREN'T talking about Edward Scissorhands then?
Everyone: NO !
Lupin Lad: Geez! Keep your knickers on! I'm going, i heard that Harry, Fred and George are having a farting competition! *skips off*.
Everyone is lost for words.
Malfoy boy:....erm....oh yeah !! We don't have Edward!
Brain Queen: Well someone does, and we want him back. Right Weasel Kid?
Weasel Kid: Yeah, right......whatever......
Super Snape: We'll find Edward and give him back to you as soon as we can, okay?
Brain Queen: You have until six this evening.
Malfoy boy: That's only 4 hours !!!
Brain Queen: Deal with it. Come on Weasel Kid, let's go.
3 hours later:
Malfoy boy: We only have an hour left!
Super Snape: Maybe we shouldn't have spent two hours on that pillow fight with Lupin Lad.
Malfoy boy: *shrugs* Maybe....but we did win these smarties!
Super Snape: Okay, where should we start looking for Edward?
Malfoy boy: I could ask Goyle, he seems to have alot of stuff hidden in his robes.
Super Snape: Like Dumbledores amazing SPOOOONS.
Malfoy boy: He also has that romance novel that you lost.
Super Snape: Well get that back too!
Half an hour later:
Malfoy boy: He doesn't have it !!
Super Snape: What ?!
Malfoy boy: And he let Lupin Lad borrow your romance novel.
Super Snape: *folds arms* Today totally sucks!
Malfoy boy: What are we gunna do????
Malfoy boy reaches into his pocket and finds the tube of Smarties he won from Lupin Lad.
Malfoy boy: Hang on a sec....Smarties !!
Super Snape: Huh?
Malfoy boy: Smarties!!! Smarties have the answer!!!!!
Super Snape: What?
Malfoy boy: Remember those adverts?? SMARTIES HAVE THE ANSWER !!!
Super Snape: I don't know what the bloody hell you're on about!
Malfoy boy sets the tube of Smarties down on a table.
Malfoy boy: Hey Smarties, i'm Malfoy boy and this is my crime fighting friend, Super Snape.
Super Snape: Malfoy boy??? What are you doing???
Malfoy boy: Shhh!
Smarties tube: *in a strong cockney accent* 'ello.
Malfoy boy: Do you know where Edward is, Mr. Smarties?
Mr.Smarties: Yeah, i do.
Malfoy boy: Could you take us to him?
Mr.Smarties: Erm....Alright then.
Mr.Smarties jumps off of the table and scurries away. Super Snape and Malfoy boy follow him. Mr.Smarties leads them down, deep into forgotten Hogwarts passageways. Eventually they reach a door.
Mr.Smarties: He's in there.
Malfoy Boy: Thankyou so much Mr.Smarties. Are you gunna come in with us?
Mr.Smarties: I ain't going in there. Somethin' dark and evil lurks there. You be careful my son, watch yaself.
Malfoy boy and Super Snape look at each other.
Mr.Smarties: I'm off! Laters!
Mr.Smarties scurries away, leaving Super Snape and Malfoy boy to face the mysterious evil force behind the door.
Super Snape: After you...
Malfoy boy: No, no, age before beauty.
Super Snape: *glares* Fine!
Super Snape slowly opens the door.
Super Snape: Gasp!
Malfoy boy: Double gasp!
What could be lurking in the room? What will become of poor Philip and Edward? Why did Mr.Smarties have a cockney accent??
Find out in the next installment of :
SUPER SNAPE and MALFOY BOY.
Deep beneath Hogwarts, well, in the dungeons, is the top secret Head Quarters for *Da da da daaa* SUPER SNAPE and MALFOY BOY. Each week, SUPER SNAPE and MALFOY BOY are given a special, and highly important task by someone special and highly important ( He is also very secretive, so he goes by the name of Admiral Important ).
Todays adventure : "THE KIDNAPPING OF PHILIP"
After a week of uneventfulness, Super Snape and his faithful sidekick, Malfoy boy go out in search of trouble.
Malfoy boy: Yeah, you better run away!
Harry: I'm not running! I'm still right in front of you!
Malfoy boy: Well....you should be!!
Harry: Should be what?!
Malfoy boy: You....should....ergh! You're no fun!
Malfoy boy storms off to find Super Snape.
Super Snape: And another thing, you smell !!
Malfoy boy: Er...Sir? Why are you shouting at Mrs Norris?
Mrs Norris: *meow* *walks off*
Super Snape: Stupid cat! I sure showed her!!
Malfoy boy: Erm...Well done. Sir, we haven't had any special and highly important tasks for over a week! The most interesting thing we've done lately was when we cooked those biscuits for Mcgonagall, and she got food poisoning, and we blamed it on the Weasley twins.
Super Snape: Yeah, that was great.
Malfoy boy: But it wasn't highly special and important !
Super Snape: I suppose you're right....
Just then, someone taps Super Snape on the shoulder. Super Snape turns around.
Super Snape: Granger? Weasley? What do you want?
Malfoy boy: Yeah, hmmmm?
Hermione: I, Brain Queen, and my sidekicky friend person, Weasel Kid...
Ron: Hermione! We've discussed this! I'm Ronder boy, ya know, coz it sounds like wonder boy...
Brain Queen: Oh don't be silly, you're Weasel Kid!
Weasel Kid folds his arms and scowls.
Brain Queen: Anyway, as i was saying, we have come to announce that we have kidnapped the Slytherin mascot and....
Malfoy boy: We have a mascot?
Super Snape: Yeah....that stuffed toy snake, Philip.
Malfoy boy: *stares for a moment, then suddenly remembers* You...stole...Philip!?!?? You...you...
Brain Queen: Shut up and let me finish! Yes, we've stolen Philip, and we're not going to give him back until you....
Lupin Lad storms up the corridor behind Super Snape.
Lupin Lad: Hey, you! Malfoy boy! You homewreaker you!
Malfoy boy: Eh?
Lupin Lad: Since when have you been Sevvies sidekick again?
Malfoy boy: Since last week, you retard!
Lupin Lad: Oh! Nice! You could've at least told me about it!
Super Snape: I did!! Many times!! Have you only just put that spoon down??
Lupin Lad: Yes. But thats beside the point!!
Brain Queen: WILL EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!!
Everyone falls silent.
Brain Queen: *Ahem* Thankyou. We will only return Philip, when you give Edward back to the Gryffindors.
Super Snape: Edward?
Lupin Lad: Scissorhands??
Malfoy boy: Who the hell's Edward??
Brain Queen: Edward is our mascot.
Malfoy boy: We don't have your stinking mascot !!!!!
Lupin Lad: So you WEREN'T talking about Edward Scissorhands then?
Everyone: NO !
Lupin Lad: Geez! Keep your knickers on! I'm going, i heard that Harry, Fred and George are having a farting competition! *skips off*.
Everyone is lost for words.
Malfoy boy:....erm....oh yeah !! We don't have Edward!
Brain Queen: Well someone does, and we want him back. Right Weasel Kid?
Weasel Kid: Yeah, right......whatever......
Super Snape: We'll find Edward and give him back to you as soon as we can, okay?
Brain Queen: You have until six this evening.
Malfoy boy: That's only 4 hours !!!
Brain Queen: Deal with it. Come on Weasel Kid, let's go.
3 hours later:
Malfoy boy: We only have an hour left!
Super Snape: Maybe we shouldn't have spent two hours on that pillow fight with Lupin Lad.
Malfoy boy: *shrugs* Maybe....but we did win these smarties!
Super Snape: Okay, where should we start looking for Edward?
Malfoy boy: I could ask Goyle, he seems to have alot of stuff hidden in his robes.
Super Snape: Like Dumbledores amazing SPOOOONS.
Malfoy boy: He also has that romance novel that you lost.
Super Snape: Well get that back too!
Half an hour later:
Malfoy boy: He doesn't have it !!
Super Snape: What ?!
Malfoy boy: And he let Lupin Lad borrow your romance novel.
Super Snape: *folds arms* Today totally sucks!
Malfoy boy: What are we gunna do????
Malfoy boy reaches into his pocket and finds the tube of Smarties he won from Lupin Lad.
Malfoy boy: Hang on a sec....Smarties !!
Super Snape: Huh?
Malfoy boy: Smarties!!! Smarties have the answer!!!!!
Super Snape: What?
Malfoy boy: Remember those adverts?? SMARTIES HAVE THE ANSWER !!!
Super Snape: I don't know what the bloody hell you're on about!
Malfoy boy sets the tube of Smarties down on a table.
Malfoy boy: Hey Smarties, i'm Malfoy boy and this is my crime fighting friend, Super Snape.
Super Snape: Malfoy boy??? What are you doing???
Malfoy boy: Shhh!
Smarties tube: *in a strong cockney accent* 'ello.
Malfoy boy: Do you know where Edward is, Mr. Smarties?
Mr.Smarties: Yeah, i do.
Malfoy boy: Could you take us to him?
Mr.Smarties: Erm....Alright then.
Mr.Smarties jumps off of the table and scurries away. Super Snape and Malfoy boy follow him. Mr.Smarties leads them down, deep into forgotten Hogwarts passageways. Eventually they reach a door.
Mr.Smarties: He's in there.
Malfoy Boy: Thankyou so much Mr.Smarties. Are you gunna come in with us?
Mr.Smarties: I ain't going in there. Somethin' dark and evil lurks there. You be careful my son, watch yaself.
Malfoy boy and Super Snape look at each other.
Mr.Smarties: I'm off! Laters!
Mr.Smarties scurries away, leaving Super Snape and Malfoy boy to face the mysterious evil force behind the door.
Super Snape: After you...
Malfoy boy: No, no, age before beauty.
Super Snape: *glares* Fine!
Super Snape slowly opens the door.
Super Snape: Gasp!
Malfoy boy: Double gasp!
What could be lurking in the room? What will become of poor Philip and Edward? Why did Mr.Smarties have a cockney accent??
Find out in the next installment of :
SUPER SNAPE and MALFOY BOY.
