Chapter 7

"Did we travel a mile yet? My feet are hurting. I need to go to the bathroom. These plants are touching me too much. I wanna go home. Are we there yet?" I whine to Tess as I poke her in the back. We got lost. Plain and simple. But Tess was having none of that. She was still insisting that she knew where we were and that we were going in the right direction. I decided long ago that I was going to bug her the same way my kids begged me. I can see the edge of her mouth curl up in a smile as we continue to walk. I continue my annoying whine until she cracks up laughing, turning to stare at me.

"What the fuck? Who sounds like that?"

"My kids… whenever we went out anywhere that took too long for them. I would hear it all the time. And then, they would gang up on me, echoing each other while laughing. Fuckers."

"Seriously? Wow, that's a pain. I can't believe they would sound like that!" She shakes her head and then stares at me, frozen. "Wait, you have kids?" I burst into laughter. It has become so easy to talk with her now. Things I kept hidden from the gang spill out like water with her around.

"Yeah. I have two. Both are grown with families of their own." Tess is still staring at me.

"How… old are you?" She asks carefully.

"Wow. What a question! Don't you know never to ask a man's age?" She cocks her head and gives me the middle finger salute. "I'm… wait, I need to do the math in my head… I'm 126 years old. Give or take…" I watch her jaw drop open.

"Fuck. Your kids are probably older than me…"

"Yup. They are. Extreme cradle robbing going on here." I laugh as she is still staring at me.

"How old are the guys then?"

"I can't tell you exactly for Mack… but well over 200 years, Groff is around 300 years and Torren is probably closer to 500 years. Why? I bet you really feel like the 'baby girl' now huh?"

"Shit! I honestly didn't even think about that. Rick assumed you guys were human, like him."

"Nope. Each of us are from different races. Torren's planet was destroyed centuries ago. He left with his family and has been busy repopulating the universe with his seed. Groff was born in space without really knowing his home world. And Mack… that's Mack's secret. He doesn't like talking about himself at all. I know Groff knows a bit and Torren knows a bit. I know barely anything. How about you? Have you ever found out anything about your race?"

"Nope. Guy I killed aside, I haven't run into anyone else who bleeds dark blue… that I know of. Rick says he will always look out for any reference. I'm not sure I want to know. My parents left me alone with that… that… Would you want to know?"

"Not sure. I never met the people who donated genes to create me. I turned out alright." I wink at her as she elbows me in the ribs.

"Fuck. No you didn't!" Tess laughs and leans in against me. I put my arm around her and lean her back against a tree.

"We need a break sweetness. Seriously. Let's take a moment, check on where we are and eat."

"Alright… you get the food ready and I'll go up to see where we are."

I unpack supplies and open up the communications relay to contact Mack. It takes a while for him to answer, and when he does, I can tell they are taking heavy fire. Mack's voice comes in short bursts for a while until I hear him curse followed by crashes.

"Fuck Dean… wherever you guys are, remain. Do not return to base camp. There is another facility I need you guys to hit and then I'll relay the next base camp coordinates."

"What's going on?"

"Damned Fed goons found us. Nothing we can't handle. Just a bit noisy right now. Keep her away Dean. Take care of her."

"You know, Mack, she can take care of herself…" I answer back, a bit annoyed. Now I see what Tess means.

"She's our baby girl, Dean. We're responsible for her wellbeing now." More gun fire in the background.

"Fuck Mack, we are not responsible! She can…"

"Dean!" Mack barks out. "You will follow my command. No arguments now." Mack signs off while I curse him. Tess swings from the branch above me, upside down with a thoughtful look.

"You fought for me?"

"Yeah, wasn't heard though. I get why they think the way they do… but you should really work on them seeing you as an adult sweetness."

"This coming from the man, who until recently, treated me like a child as well." Tess pinches me and smiles. I grab her, pulling her down from the branch and into my arms. I set her feet on the ground and yank her against me. I pull the hair away from her face and lay a gentle kiss on her lips.

"I know. I'm working on it." Giving her a hug, I whisper that we have another facility to wipe out. A strong shiver courses through her body as I react to her arousal. "We can't play like we did last time. No mistakes. But we need to find some way to deal with this… urge."

"What do you suggest?" Her voice was silent but filled with arousal. I'm matching hers now… feeling the stronger urge just from the memory of what happened last time. Fuck. We shouldn't be going through this. This is fucked up. I thought that maybe we handled this by giving in; now I am unsure. Maybe we made things worse? I have to voice this.

"Do you think we made things worse by giving in to each other? Do you think we should have just bottled it up? We can try that again…"

"No. I've kept this inside too long. Maybe if we focus on each other and not the… action… of killing… maybe?" Her voice was unsure.

"So, we would recall events and turn it on each other so we become aroused by our partner and not the physical act of killing? Association… I would be associating what I am aroused by and focus on you… This might work. But you need to be alright with this. And we need to have the talk." I bring her down to sit on the ground with me.

"I know about reproduction…" I started to chuckle. "I can't get pregnant anyway…" That was new.

"What?"

"Yeah. Don't know how it happened but that ability was taken from me at a young age." She looks away from me.

"Taken?"

"By my race. Who cares exactly who? I can't and will never… trust me, it hurts." I pull her against me and feel an instant need to call my kids. I can't believe what it would be like to be told you could never get pregnant.

"I bet it does. But the talk I wanted to have with you was around feelings and emotions."

"Oh… well, I'm not falling in love with you, if that was what the talk was going to be about." She winks and I laugh again.

"Fuck girl… you reading my mind? That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I can tell you now that I am not having those thoughts… I'm using you. Plain and simple. Using you. That's it. No more." I keep telling myself this. I know I'm not falling in love. But I do care a lot. And I do want to keep her in my life now. Fuck…

"I totally get it. I'm using you too. Got too many men on my plate. You're just a fuck buddy. Nothing more. I use you for therapy…" We keep a straight face and then both burst into laughter.

"Therapy? Therapy. I love that! That's what we are doing then. Going to therapy."

"So, Mr. Dean, what kind of therapy do you need today?" Tess turns towards me, bringing up one ankle to rest on top of her other knee. She folds her hands on top of her foot and sits with a straight back. She is acting like a professional. I turn to face her, mirroring her posture.

"Well, Ms. Tess…"

"That's Mrs. Sanchez…"

"Excuse me…" I wink. "Mrs. Sanchez… I've been having some bad thoughts lately. See, when I kill people I get a massive hard on. Sometimes I have these dark thoughts of fucking girls to hear them scream… almost a rape fantasy. I would never do that, mind you, but these dark thoughts have been getting worse." I can see her façade drop, fooling set aside due to my seriousness. She placed a hand on my knee. "I'm alright. It has been getting close to this point though. I'm scared."

"What would you want from me? If I was to allow anything… anything in the universe to help appease you, what would you ask for?" I look at her and take this in to consideration. After a long pause I answer. The truth. And it hurts me to say it.

"I want to hurt you. To cause you pain while… not necessarily rape… I want your consent but with pain. You know? I imagine pulling your hair, twisting your arm back and hearing you cry out in pain, biting you, hurting you… But that's a lot to ask, sweetness. You have to trust me fully and we barely have had that much alone… time for you to…" she interrupts me.

"Ok. I trust you. But I want something too." I stare up at her, shocked that she was already willing and trusted me.

"Anything…" It was a whisper. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to give her what she asked for.

"Blood. I need to see it. On you, on me, I…" Her voice cracks.

"Let's set ground rules. Safety words and actions. I need to know that I'm not raping you."

"Alright. Then let's spend some time and talk through this." I smile at her. We spend the rest of the day talking through things. Discussing what was going to happen and what we could do in case things went south… It was amazing how open I could be with her. I didn't feel ashamed about the things that aroused me anymore. The thought of being able to do things to her… fuck, I was ready to go. I listened to her as well, taking into consideration all the things she wanted in return. We worked things out. We were going to try and get this out of us before the fight. See if this helped things out or not. The main point was to not get distracted like last time. Neither one of us wants the outcome we experienced last time. There was already too much blood on our hands without having to add in innocents. Here's hoping this plan worked. If not, we would work on things and tweak it until we figured it out.