Fleur de Cerisier
Chapter 7
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and this story is just a figment of my imagination.
Sai did not visit Sakura again after that day. He passed his days in an almost monotonous routine, giving lectures and attending to other freelance work.
He did read about Sakura's release from the hospital and the court case that condemned her ill-fated miscarriage. The newspapers were vocal about her responsibility as a prominent figure in the medical world. Several journalists, who had caught wind of his art project with Sakura, had sought comments from him outside his apartment, to which he ignored.
A few times, he had reached for the phone and punched in the familiar number. He reasoned that even if she refused to talk to him, they still needed to work on their agreed upon engagement. But, each time, he failed to press the dial button.
There were also his attempts to clear the air with Naruto. The blonde man's temper had led to the failure of several arranged meetings.
Until one autumn evening, he had initiated a meeting through his secretary to his surprise. The formality involved raised his suspicion. Sai wore a white pinstripe shirt and black trousers and arrived ten minutes to his four o'clock appointment. He was ushered in ten minutes after the appointed time.
"Mr… Naruto."
"Please sit, Mr. Sai."
Sai had been unsure if he was addressing the mayor or his lover, but it was clear now he was acting the mayor role. The secretary brought in two cups of tea and after she left, Naruto spoke again.
"How have you been?"
"I'm fine. And you?"
"As usual," he waved a hand in dismissal, "Have you seen Ms. Sakura since?"
Sai felt something grip his heart at the mention of her.
"No."
Naruto gave a disapproving tut at this.
"I trust you remember the project? I should remind you the final two commissioned artworks are due in less than a month."
"I'm aware of that."
"Good."
The blonde man stood up and walked to look out of his window.
"Naruto." Sai tried to talk to him but was interjected.
"Sakura visited me recently."
His heart raced as he wondered what Sakura had said to Naruto.
"Ino forced us to talk and between the three of us, we had a very long conversation."
He felt the annoyance he had felt for the feisty woman replaced with slight admiration.
"Do you love Sakura?"
The sudden change in topic confused him.
"What are you talking about?"
"Answer the question, Sai."
Sai frowned at his persistence and chose to not respond to something he was unsure of. A few minutes ticked by before Naruto spoke again.
"I love Sasuke, I always have."
Sai felt a tightening at his chest at the revelation. He always knew but to have him say it out forced him to face the truth. There was a pause before Naruto continued.
"You could say I've done everything I could, in hopes that he will one day return my feelings. I was ruthless. When he left Sakura, I thought of ways to keep Sakura away. But, he fell for another useless guy and now—," he stopped himself abruptly. There was a choking sound and his shoulders trembled.
Sai recalled the sudden death of the aspiring vocalist of the up-and-coming rock band, Taka in the news a week ago. He stood up and began to make his way over but Naruto suddenly turned around and walked to his table. He opened the top drawer and retrieved a flat material. Taking measured strides, he stopped next to him and placed a key card on his hand. Sai immediately recognised the key to his apartment.
"What is the meaning of this?"
Naruto gave him a sad smile.
"It's been more or less a convenient arrangement between us. This is goodbye, Sai."
Sai felt numb from the cold. He had foregone taking the cab and walked all the way from the mayor's office to the other end of the city. He stopped himself from forming any coherent thought, afraid he would unleash the unbridled anger inside. As he turned into the stairs that led to his apartment, he was startled to see a feminine figure swathed in red at the bottom step. Her short pink hair gave her away easily.
"Sakura."
She jumped at his voice and upon noticing him, quickly stood up.
"Sai."
He gave her a cursory once-over. The colour of her trench coat matched her shoes and there was a glimpse of white hemline underneath the coat.
"What are you doing here?"
"To see you."
She was the last person he wanted to see right then, he thought.
"This is not a good time, Sakura."
"I have a favour to ask of you."
He did not know when her clear jade eyes became his weakness. Closing his eyes, he exhaled exaggeratedly before pushing past her to take a step onto the stairs.
"Come up, if you must."
He was past the first floor when he heard the click of her heels against the stairs. His heart beat a little faster and he continued his climb to the third floor. He left the door open and kicked off his shoes and proceeded to the kitchen bar. Dragging out the brandy warmer and a snifter from the cabinet below, he lit a tea light and warmed the glass half-filled with brandy.
He heard the door lock clicked into place and he looked up to see her at his hallway. He inhaled deeply and slipped off his overcoat before motioning for her to join him at the bar. She moved to stand opposite him and he tested the temperature of the glass with his fingertip and pushed the drink towards her.
"Drink."
She sighed appreciatively after two sips and pushed the glass back towards him, which he finished before pouring a second measure of brandy.
"What is it that you want?" He asked as he placed the snifter on the warmer's frame. She was quiet for a while, a contemplative look on her face.
"I want you to draw my scars." She said just as he took the glass off the frame. Feeling a headache coming his way, he finished the brandy in one go. The burning sensation in his throat made his nose runny but it soothed his mind for a few seconds.
"What do I get out of this?" he asked, not caring to be polite, "I don't paint for free."
He could feel her intense gaze as he pour another shot of brandy.
"I am willing to pay a fee."
Anger welled up in him but he carefully placed the snifter on the frame.
"I don't need, want for any."
His measured tone seemed to alert her as she asked quietly.
"Did something happen with Naruto?"
"My life does not revolve around him, and so should yours."
As he reached for the snifter, her hand shot out to grab the drink. She gulped down the golden liquid and replaced the glass on the table with a small ding. The grimace that followed made him smirk.
"Anything that you want."
"Anything," He mocked her but she only reiterated in a serious manner, "Anything."
There was silence but their deep breathing for a few moments.
"I'll bear that in mind," he grabbed a bottle of water and took several gulps. Closing the plastic bottle, he walked around the counter to stand in front of her.
"Show me your scars."
She removed her coat, revealing the white halter neck dress underneath. Taking a step back, she turned around and he felt his breath caught in his throat. A serrated raised scar ran along her spine. Her hands reached back to loosen the knot of the halterneck and pull at the zipper to reveal more of the scar. The silky material fell into a pool around her feet.
She was naked in front of him, saved for her underwear. He traced the scar gently from the top of her spine to the tail bone and she trembled, goose bumps rising on the smooth skin surrounding the scar where he touched.
"Will it stay forever?"
"Yes," she elaborated almost mechanically, "Not as bad as this, but it will remain."
For a moment, he regretted walking out on her that day. But he pushed the thought aside.
"What do you have in mind?"
She swallowed visibly before replying, "Loss," then, almost as an afterthought, she added, "Atonement."
Ideas crossed his mind in flickering motion. He unbuttoned his shirt and draped it over her shoulders.
"Let's move to the living room."
He spent the next half an hour turning his living room into the desired scene in his mind. He pushed the settee and table out of the way and sat her in the middle of the room. He lit a few tea lights and pulled drapes close to block out light. The Juliet balcony doors were shut to keep the cold air draft out. He found two boxes of tea lights from a previous project in his storage.
As he lit more of the candles in the room, he asked, "How old was it?"
She frowned for a few seconds before responding, "Forty-two days."
She sat quietly while he placed lit candles around her. Soon, the room was bathed in bright yellow glow from forty one candles. He took his time, positioning her to catch the scars at the best angle, moving between his canvas mounting and her. When he was satisfied, he gave her a votive candle and a taper one.
"The interpretation is up to you," he told her before striding back to his seat. He watched her play with the candles and it took a while before she settled in.
"I'm starting," he half whispered.
The sketch itself was easy. It took him half an hour to outline the important objects – the candles, her slim silhouette, the scar on her back and the fainter ones on her arm and upper thigh. The candle in her left hand flickered and he watched a drop of wax fall onto the floor. He left his seat a few times to replace some of the burnt-out candles. An hour had gone by when he had the first two layers of acrylic painted on. He took his shirt and a towel and walked to stand behind her.
"Take fifteen."
She nodded and set the candles down and took the articles of clothing from her. She mopped at the sweat on her body while Sai marked the position with some black tape. After she buttoned up the shirt, he helped her up and held her as she did some brief exercise to relax her stiffened muscles.
"Would you like to see the progress of your painting?"
"No, I trust your judgment."
Settling her down on the settee, he went to the kitchen and brought her a glass of soda water. They sat at opposing angles; she had her legs stretched out in front of her while he sat with his legs apart. He scrutinised her over his brandy and she appeared to be doing the same thing, chewing at the inside of her mouth.
"What are you thinking?"
She pulled at the cuffs of his shirt, and then looked up at him despondently.
"You."
"Me?"
"You're frowning. What are you thinking of?"
Prior to this, he had so much to question her, but in all honesty, he was just content to have her sitting there.
"You."
Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth to say something, when the loud beep from the alarm clock startled them. She looked at the clock and back at him. He made a move to stand up.
"Back to work."
She nodded and wordlessly followed him back onto the set. He repositioned her and worked quick and careful with the subsequent layers. He used shades of blue to define the darkness surrounding the bright glow from the many candles on the floor. He captured the intense emotion on her face, the tightening of the jaw, the lift of the eyebrow from the side; all backlit by the tiny flame of the candles in her hands.
When he finished, he dropped the brush onto the table beside him.
"It's finished."
She looked up at him when he spoke. For a while, they stared at each other. Then she blew out the candles in her hands and he raised from his seat. He heard his own heavy footfall as he stepped closer to her, but he did not stop till he was in front of the balcony. Pulling the door handles inwards, a cold draft came flowing in immediately.
He turned around and noticed most of the candles had been blown out by the initial gust, but some remained flickering in the gentle breeze that followed.
Sakura had put on his shirt and was now perched on his seat in front of the portrait. As he moved towards her, she traced a finger along the acrylic painting.
"It's perfect. Thank you."
He placed his hands on her shoulders and slowly turned her till she was facing him. Kneeling down in front of her, he tried to speak but she placed her finger against his lips and shook her head. He swallowed and when she cupped his face and kissed him, he gave into his desires.
The words could wait.
A few hours later, Sai woke up feeling tired but ridiculously relaxed. The room was still dark and he could see the skyline starting to turn light from the adjacent balcony. Turning to his side, Sai started on the bed when he realised the warm spot next to him was empty. Still dazed, he stepped out of the bed and found his slacks on the floor. As he pulled them on, he barely registered his mussed up hair and the bite marks covering his shoulders in the mirror.
Rounding the corner that shielded the sleeping area, he felt relief wash over him at the sight of her neatly folded red coat on the settee. The candles on the floor were snuffed out and there was a source of light coming from the kitchen area. As he got closer, he saw her sitting on the bar stool. She had changed into her white dress and the tea light was lit to warm a glass of brandy.
She straightened up when she noticed him and he stopped behind her and placed his hands next to hers on the table. Leaning his head on her shoulder, he kissed her neck and felt her closeness warming him from the inside.
"Brandy?" She turned slightly to look at him but he ignored her and traced the visible scar again. He wondered which was more painful – her physical scar that served as a reminder of her loss or her emotional scar. One seemed to lead to the other and the vicious cycle continued.
"Does it hurt?"
"Once in a while."
He broke away when she turned around bodily and he was suddenly aware of the tension in the air.
"Sai, I need to tell you something."
"Right," he sat on the bar stool next to her and took a sip of the brandy. She drew in a deep breath and he braced himself, wondering what he should say if she wanted to discuss their earlier intimacy.
"I'm in love with you."
That was not what he had expected. When he did not say anything, she gave him a brave grin.
"Don't worry about it. I just thought I should let you know. Anyway, I should get going."
She slid off the stool and walked past him. The events from the previous night began to weigh down on him heavily but he could still hear her - the soft padding of her feet against the wooden flooring and the sound of fabric sliding against fabric. He turned around in his seat to see her standing next to the portrait. The sun was beginning to rise, casting her in an orange glow. He recalled that evening at the rose garden where everything had changed for all of them since.
She noticed his gaze and smiled shakily. There were tears in her eyes.
"Could you take this off for me? I'd like to bring it home."
Before he knew it, he had taken large strides and was next to her. When he pulled her into his embrace, she did not pull away and he breathed in her sweet perfume as he tried to form words in the jumble mess that made up his thoughts.
"I don't know if I love you but, give me some time to figure this out. Just… don't leave now. Please."
Those thirty seconds she spent contemplating was the longest wait in his life. When she leaned into him and loosely wrapped her hands around him, he drew in a deep breath and pulled her closer.
