Chapter 7 – Chris McLean's POV

Planes. For me, a plane means one thing – champagne. A cheese board. Big chairs. A pretty air hostess. I slowly board the plane, waiting to see 'economy' class. Rats. Mice. Beggars sitting in the chairs shaking a cup. I can picture it looking just like a sewer. Most of the kids seem to have been in this 'economy' class. But I understand – people just can't afford the things Chris McLean can.

It's worse than I thought.

People sit in their squashed looking seats, smiling, reading that free magazine you get on most planes that isn't really worth reading. They smile at each other and talk to their relatives. They wear average clothing – no big brands. They're smiling, but I know they are just being strong. I grasp a man's wrist as I pass by and tell him quietly, "It's okay. You can cry if you want to."

His face instantly shrivels up as he looks at me in that way that says 'uh – what?' but he can obviously tell I'm first class material so he just smiles.

What a brave man. I respect him completely.

I pass a young child, only a toddler and he seems to be crying. I give him $50 and tell him he's the bravest boy to confess his emotions at such an early age. His mother just yanks the $50 off him and holds it up to the light. I take my shoe off, carefully and whack her on the head with it. She seems to be angry.

"GIVE HIM BACK HIS MONEY!" I thunder, as the woman, obviously frightened, gives him back his money. I smile at her, put my shoe back on and walk on. Courtney, already in her seat, seems to face palm herself in an instant and 'face-palms' herself. I hear Gwen mutter something about being a long journey.

When we are all in our seats, which takes ages, an ugly looking air hostess starts handing us out 'hot' towels. They must not be right, because mine is pretty cold. In anger, I throw the towel at her face and shout at her to warm it up. She smiles, and yanks it off me and walks back. Courtney seems pretty annoyed and starts yelling at me in anger.

See, if I was in first class, this incident wouldn't have actually happened in the first place.

Then we start to be handed out pretzels and peanuts. I happily accept a bag of peanuts to find out that they are actually 'salted' and not 'lightly salted' like they do in first class. I throw them at a random passenger and start screaming at him. Then an air hostess comes and tells me to come and calm down because I'm upsetting the cabin crew. I tell her that she's not very pretty and she should be moved down to third class, until I'm reminded by Courtney that they don't have third class in planes. Then I complain to her that most of these people are peasants and can barely afford to eat two meals, and then the passengers start looking at me as if I'm crazy.

As I wait patiently for the meal at lunch, I think of what it could be. My favourite dish is first class was boiled lobster –

"Spaghetti with no sauce or sauce?" the air hostess speaks in complete monotone.

"Hm," I reply, flicking through the magazine quickly for a menu, "what else is there?"

"A bread roll," she says smiling.

"You know what, I'll just take the bread rolle," I say, trying to pronounce it properly.

"Um, yes sir," the air hostess smiles, and hands me this small roll. Made of bread. I look at her in my disgraced look.

"Surely this cannot be Rolle Bread!" I shout in a French accent angrily.

"It is, sir. It is a roll, made of bread. A bread roll, sir," she says, looking puzzled. I give it to the dude beside me in a red tracksuit in an instance as I feel disgraced by the lack of selection.

I expect some kind of fancy dessert, but there is none being given out. Like the rest of economy class I smile and laugh, but secretly I loathe them, like these beggars loathe each other as they check through each other's wallets.

About half an hour later, I hear that the plane is just about to land. I'm rather proud that this trip is over, because I couldn't bear a single minute more of this disgusting 'economy' class. I wonder how these people survive the trip. As soon as it is over, I rush off the plane, pushing the kids behind me.

I never want to fly economy again.

"Chris, are you okay?" Courtney asks raising an eyebrow as I storm off the plane full speed.

"YES!" I scream angrily, which probably makes me sound more angry than happy. I miss my boiled lobster, I miss the cheese board, and I miss the champagne.

As soon as we collect our baggage from baggage claim, I ask if I can get another flight in economy class.

"Um, why? You hated it," Courtney points out to me, trying to pull up a dude who is lying on the baggage trolley crying and saying that he's about to die or something.

"I WANT ANOTHER FLIGHT!" I thunder, and reluctantly she agrees.

The thing about Chris McLean is Chris McLean always gets his way. NO MATTER WHAT. That's why I'm so talented and I've been on so many TV shows, because if they don't, they'll pay. I text one of my rival TV show hosts, Blaineley to tell her how lucky I am.

HAR HAR. I'M ON BIG TRIP WITH KIDZ.

She'll be well-jel.

A/N – Okay, this was just a really random chapter. If anyone doesn't know, well-jel is another way of saying 'well jealous'. Now Chris is kinda crazy and here might be a few chapters like this to come. I'm warning you.