Hello everyone :D This chapter has been done since the other one got out but I was kind of lazy lol. Sorry.
If you're interested in Fruits Basket; PLEASE read my homepage. If you have a cosplay read my current projects and message me. Also if you're good at editing videos. The information is on my HP and any other questions, just ask.
Dedications: Tori Sohma, Half-a-recess, GoodLuckMotherFuckers
This chapter is pretty intense :D
I woke up slowly and saw that Jin was still fast asleep. His arms were still tight around my waist and he didn't seem to want to let go of me. I don't know what about Jin made me like him. At all really. He was really annoying. He still is actually. But he's Jin.
"Hiei." He mumbled, tired as all hell it seemed. I looked up at him and his eyes seemed to be crusted shut and he rubbed them so his eyes opened and I saw the bright blue. He smiled. "G'mornin' Hiei."
"Hn." I kept a straight face. That's something I'm good at doing. I could hear people walking down the hallway and once they stopped in front of our door I quickly moved to my bed. Jin sat up and Keiko stood at the door, glared at me and motioned for Jin to come out.
I was confused. Why did Jin leave ALL the time. I don't understand.
It was then did I notice that the door was still left open a bit. Nurse Keiko... Dumb bitch. I quietly opened the door and looked around the hallway. The only thing I saw was them bring Jin into a different room and they walked in it too. I got on the ground and crawled to the door, it was like a classroom door. Made of wood with glass showing you what was on the inside. I wasn't dumb enough to look through it though.
I pressed my ear to the door and I heard mumbles. I listened really hard and could barely make out what they were saying. That is until Koenma's loud mouth started to talk.
"Jin are you sure this is okay? You can stop being in the room with Hiei now. He opened up, we could handle it from here." He said and I growled. Asshole.
"No, I think that I cn' help him Koenma. I jus really dun wanna go ya kno? Me n' Hiei are pals n' I dun wanna ruin it. I like Hiei he's n' interestin' person." Jin said and I blushed a bit but most definitely not a lot.
"You and him still can be pals Kurama. Just on different terms." Koenma said simply. Different terms? What the hell did that mean?
"Koenma, I dun wanna. I wanna spend more time with Hiei." Jin said, finally. Koenma seemed to not like this answer. What did they have against me anyway?
"You will still spend time with him Jin! He'll just know you're his THERAPIST not his BUDDY." My body turned cold. So I had to get away.
.:~{In the room}~:.
"I dun want him ta know I'm his therapist tho Koenma..." Jin looked down sadly.
"You're going to have to tell him one way or another." I looked over at Kurama and sighed.
"I kno Kurama but... I dun want that relationship with him. Hes gonna think I only talk ta him cus I get paid... Kurama I dun want yar money. Ya cn' take it. I dun feel right.." Jin reached into his pocket and tossed the money onto Kurama's lap.
"Jin, please take the money, it's no big deal. You're doing your job." Kurama said and Jin smiled and shook his head.
"Jin... Please don't tell me you LIKE Hiei." Koenma said with a sigh and Jin's face heated up rather quickly. "Jin..." Koenma whined and Jin looked away bashfully.
"You like Hiei?" Kurama asked sort of surprised. Jin nodded slowly. "Why?"
"Hiei is different... He's not tryin' ta be like everyone else. He wants ta get better but only at a pace he feels is right. He wants to impress you Kurama. He loves you a lot. He jus wants ya ta be proud of him. I'm sorry... I shouldn't try to take away Hiei from ya Kurama. He's yers." Jin said slowly and Koenma rolled his eyes and Kurama beamed at Jin and got up and hugged him.
"Thank you Jin." He said with his beautiful smile. "It feels so good to know that you care so much about Hiei. I was worried that he wouldn't make progress at all or he wouldn't feel welcomed. I'm sure Hiei cares about you a lot. After all he didn't kill you yet and you two are in the same room." Kurama laughed and Jin smiled softly.
"He trusted me ya kno..." Jin rubbed his arm and Kurama looked at him confused.
"How?" He asked and even Koenma seemed confused.
"Well.." Jin smiled at the thought. "Hiei's dad came on his birthday n' he walked in the room n' he wus cryin' n' I called out ta him n' he looked up at me n' ran over n' hugged me. He cried fer a while n' then he fell asleep."
"That's brilliant." Koenma said with a smile. "I'm glad that you finally broke through to Hiei. I'm sure he'll trust you still even if you're his therapist." Jin frowned. Koenma just didn't get it. Did he?
"Just let him know you care. He'll come around soon enough. Even if it isn't this very minute. Hiei is quite stubborn but he still cares even if he doesn't show it." Kurama said soothingly and Jin sighed and nodded.
.:~{*+*}~:.
I sat in my room looking at the ceiling. I couldn't tell what hurt worse. My heart or my pride. I trusted him. And he probably only talks to me and says nice things because he's fucking PAID to do it!
THAT DICK! I FUCKING TRUSTED HIM!
I kicked a few things around but nothing was hard enough to feel satisfying. Tears of anger streamed down my face. I was shaking uncontrollably. Now I know why I don't trust anyone. Everything is a lie. I collapsed on the ground and punched it but my arms grew weak with each punch. They were too weak to push myself back up so I laid on the ground not moving. Limp on the cold floor with my tears forming a puddle in front of me.
"How could you.. Jin?" I whispered and pressed my forehead to the floor and let the tears drip down. My arms were cradling my stomach. I had a horrible pain now. I didn't know why. Acid bubbled and my throat felt like it was being expanded. I needed to throw up. I wouldn't let myself. I couldn't let myself. I don't want anyone to know how upset this made me. When in reality I shouldn't be upset about this at all. There's no need to... My arms thumped against the floor.
I heard the door open.
"Hallo Hiei!" Jin said happily then paused. "Oh goodness Hiei." He rushed to my side and attempted to help me up and I shook against him.
"GET OFF OF ME DAMN IT!" I yelled and glared at him. I was snarling. "Get the fuck out of here Jin. You don't fucking need to be here." I could see that my words confused him. "I know you're not my friend. You're my fucking therapist. Don't I feel smart. Thanks for lying to me after you told me that I could trust you. Well now I don't! Get the fuck out!" He looked extremely hurt. Probably because he isn't going to get paid anymore. What the fuck ever.
"..." His jaw tightened and his big blue eyes looked so sadly into mine. I didn't have mercy left. I didn't care anymore.
"Out." I hissed and he looked away from my face. He stood up and stared at me.
"Ya cn' still trust me Hiei. I jus wanted ta be close ta ya is all." And he walked out and closed the door slowly. My heart finally broke.
.:~{*+*}~:.
I laid in my bed for a few days. Not really moving. For some reason I wasn't bothered too much. I hadn't seen Jin, I hadn't seen Kurama, Koenma, only twice a day I saw Boton. She brought me food and my meds and looked at me sadly.
Still I laid here. I hadn't had a thought on my mind to get better. I didn't want to live. I didn't want to feel like a human being anymore. I just wanted to die. I know I'm dramatic but I just... I'm tired. I'm so tired all the time and I feel like there's no getting better. That I'm passed help. I'm just a broken shell.
It's been about 13 days since I've seen anyone but Boton. That's okay. I don't mind. I'd rather not see her either but whatever... The only time I get up is to go to the bathroom...
.:~{*+*}~:.
I'm looking at the wall, it's been two weeks and 3 days and I'm still not close to feeling any better. But finally I sat up and sighed. My first time sitting up in a while made me get lightheaded. I pushed myself off the bed and Jin's bed finally caught my eye. I took a step closer to it and slowly... Very slowly... Touched the sheets with my fingers. I was shaking, I felt like I was having convulsions. Finally I sat on the bed and fell so I was laying. I turned my head and inhaled. My heart ached. I smelt Jin.
Maybe it is true that I've been thinking nothing other than Jin. Maybe I'm just too scared to admit it. I'm scared to know I care. I'm scared to be left again. He would have left me anyway. He already did.
I sat up and opened his drawer. I don't know why just out of impulse. There was a notebook. I raised my eyebrow and grabbed it and opened it.
Hiei
I'm not exactly positive about Hiei. He's depressed is for sure but there's something that runs deeper. He isn't depressed for NO reason at all. I just don't know what's bothering him. He seems to be quite fond of his best friend though, Kurama his name is. Maybe Kurama knows what's been bothering him. That's why he put Hiei here. I'm not precisely sure yet. As much as he would hate to admit though, Hiei is really sensitive. I can tell. That's just fine though. It's okay to be sensitive.
I raised an eyebrow. I guess this was my progression book. Each page seemed to be a new day. It looks like he doesn't know dates. Retard. I flipped a few pages in. I only took up about 20 pages. They weren't even filled out all the way. I put the book back not really caring anymore. Jin got everything wrong about me. I'm going to prove it.
I knocked on my door loudly. A minute or two of knocking the door was unlocked. Boton stood there with a smile.
"How are you doing Hiei?" She asked and I crossed my arms.
"Take me to group." I demanded and she brightened up quite quickly and grinned at me.
"Oh Hiei I'm so happy!" She turned around and led me to the room I grew to hate. But finally I had the nerve to walk in. Koenma looked up at me and smiled.
"Why hello there Hiei!" He said and the group welcomed me back. I walked in and saw that one chair was missing. Jin's. I swallowed and sat down on the open seat.
"Why 'ello there Hiei!" Chu said with a thumbs up and a wink. I glanced to the board and saw that Jin's name was erased and everyone was doing much better than I was. Probably because I was gone for ever.
I didn't pay attention in group. It just felt nice to have people around me. I was getting rather lonely. I didn't listen to how anyone was doing or any story they told group or any question they asked me. I spend my whole time looking where Jin's seat should be. I miss him. A lot.
Before I knew it group was over and everyone was being taken to get lunch. I looked up at Koenma who stood in front of me with a soft smile.
"Hiei how are you feeling?" He asked and I shrugged. I could be a lot better that's for damn sure. I hate it here. "You miss Jin?"
My face turned stone cold and I glared at him and hissed.
"Of course I don't." I said plainly. "What would I miss him for anyway? What did he do for me?" ... Well a lot of things but that's besides the point.
"It's okay Hiei. I know you miss Jin. He misses you too. Why don't you visit him?" Koenma offered and I scowled at the very thought and stormed out of the room and went to go eat. Everyone was sitting at the big table but I sat alone. I remember Jin sat with me when I was alone...
"Is this seat taken?" My heart sped up and I looked up and gawked. "Hello Hiei. I heard you're feeling better." Kurama smiled at me and sat down. "You don't look too good though buddy. Go on and eat. I could sneak you in some food if you would like to."
"...Did you know?" I asked in a raspy voice and Kurama seemed confused. "Did you know?" I repeated my question, now glaring a bit. Kurama's confusion didn't seem to fade however.
"Know about what Hiei?" He asked and I started to play with my food a bit.
"Jin." I spat. "Did you know about him?" I looked up at Kurama who averted his gaze and sighed.
"Hiei... Yes I did... I'm sorry. You seemed to like Jin so much. And now you hate him, Koenma says. Jin is really upset Hiei. He truly does care for you." Kurama said softly and I scoffed and ran my fingers through my greasy hair. I really need a shower. I probably smell horrible too...
"So much he had to be paid to pay attention to me right?" I asked and Kurama took my hand and squeezed it.
"Hiei, please don't be like this. There's no need to. Jin wasn't paid to like you. He was paid to help you. And it just so happens that along the way he developed a sense of caring for you. Stop pushing people away. I'm not all you have Hiei. There are some people who want to love you but you simply won't let them. Just go with your heart on this one. Jin isn't going to leave you like everyone else. He isn't everyone else. Even when you get out of here he'll still come see you. It's okay. I promise you that. He's a good person Hiei and you need to sort the good from the bad. People here are just trying to help you. They mean you no harm." Kurama let go of my hand and I frowned and looked up at Kurama and pushed away my food and stood up and walked to the door. Boton stood there.
"Let me take a shower." I demanded and she didn't have room to say no. We both knew I smelt like molded ass cheese.
.:~{*+*}~:.
I stood in the shower for a few minutes just staring down. I felt the water pound on my skin and it hurt. I didn't know why I felt so sensitive. It just felt like I was being shot. I closed my eyes. Maybe Kurama was right. Maybe I do need to let my guard down every once in a while. Maybe everyone isn't out to get me. And fuck, maybe I love Jin.
I'd never ever fucking say that out loud. I'm surprised I thought it.
While sighing I began to scrub my hair and getting the dirty disgusting grease out. The water reminded me that I really needed to pee...
.:~{*+*}~:.
"WOW! I can't believe I'm already on the upper level of 5!" Kuwabara grinned and started laughing his loud obnoxious laugh.
"Can you shut up?" I hissed. "You're voice gives me suicidal thoughts." I said and everyone looked at me surprised and shortly after it was followed by a grin. Then I was hugged by everyone.
"AWWW HIEI IS TALKING AGAIN!" Yusuke shouted with a grin and everyone applauded.
"Congrats lil' Hiei!" Chu ruffled my hair and I stood there and took the abuse of everyone. I don't have a family. Perhaps I never will. But this is pretty damn close.
"GET OFF OF ME YOU BIG OAFS!" I hollered and they continued to ignore my angry yelling.
"HIEI YOU'RE SO CUUUTE!"
"I love you Hiei!"
"Shrimpy is so small-OWWW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR HIEI?"
"Because I hate you!"
It's times like these that make me happy for where I am. Even if I don't show it. But I do know now that no one is trying to hurt me. They are here to help. Even the idiots that are here for being crazy.
For once I know what it feels like to be thankful. Hell no will I voice that. I don't even know why I keep thinking these things but I guess I'm just happy that through my years of living, I finally know what I'm living for. Maybe I need to forgive Jin. Or maybe I just need to forget about him and stop thinking about him all the time.
I closed my eyes and let myself go limp. Everyone was hugging me and it was making me claustrophobic. I didn't like tight spaces but they didn't seem to care too well.
I opened my eyes and looked at the door.
Bright blue eyes, combed red hair, a white suit, a black under shirt.
There was Jin. The real Jin.
Hate me?
Love me?
Read my HP?
Review?
