La Belle Dame sans Merci
Author's Note: Thank you everybody for the kind birthday wishes! I appreciate the continued support for this crazy story even though I am taking our poor characters on a wild ride, and putting them in situations that a lot of us don't like. This chapter is being posted tonight for Lady Irish Rose who has been a wonderful collaborator, and also today is her birthday. Read her story Hatter on a Hellmouth if you haven't been already! Enjoy, guys!
Chapter Six
Hatter shivered, pulling the blanket tighter over his shoulders. He flipped into his side, and reached his arm across to draw Alice closer. Hatter grunted.
He blinked, and glanced at the empty space next to him. "Alice?" he murmured. He looked around the room. "Alice?"
Hatter climbed out the bed, wincing as the muscles in his legs throbbed. "Alice?" His ears perked up at the sound of water running. "Alice?"
He pushed the bathroom door open. The room was filled with steam, and he could make out Alice's bare leg peeking out from behind the curtain. "Hatter?" she called out.
"Yeah, I…you weren't in the bed," he concluded lamely. "Can I join you?"
She moved the curtain to the side, smiling at him. "Sure." Alice stepped back under the shower spray, and rinsed the rest of the suds out of her hair. "I'm sorry. I just felt so gross after not…cleaning anything for days."
"You're lucky there was even shampoo and soap here."
"And razors." Alice grinned. "I feel more human now that my legs and underarms are shaved."
Hatter slowly trailed a hand down her thighs. "Feels good."
"I had trouble with the water at first."
"Ah, yeah." He started to kiss alongside her neck. "My father thought it would be funny to make the cold side hot, and the hot side cold. At least, that's what my uncle told me."
Alice paused. "You know…" She shook her head, and lathered up the soap. "I don't know what this is, but we're taking it home with us. I've never smelled anything so sweet."
Hatter grinned, and took the thick lavender bar from her. "I don't think you really want to know the truth about the soap."
"What? Well, now you have to tell me." Alice giggled, and kissed his cheek.
"Okay, but don't say that I didn't warn you. This soap is made from the secretions of JubJub birds." Hatter scooted over, and ducked under the water. "The sexual secretions of JubJub birds."
"What?" she exclaimed.
"Oh, yeah. It's a whole business here in Wonderland. They breed the birds, and when a male and female mate, or even when a male JubJub bird is aroused, they have these, like, buckets that collect the drippings."
"Oh, my god! So…then they make the soap out of the…stuff?" Alice looked at the bar of soap, horrified.
"JubJub bird semen is surprisingly sweet stuff."
"Wonderland is so weird. You know, finish up, so we can get started with the day." Alice was about to step out when Hatter took her hand. "Yes?"
"No sex in the shower?" he asked.
She gave him a small smile. "We shouldn't have even had sex last night."
"Why? It was bloody amazing, and…I needed it."
"Me too, but, you didn't have a condom, and I haven't been taking my pull since I was, you know, kidnapped, so…"
Hatter paled. "Oh…fuck."
"Exactly." Alice walked over to the sink. "Why are there handles in the shape of hats for the water here?"
"Ah." He chuckled. "My dad again." He rinsed the rest of the shampoo out of his hair, and shut the water off. "He was…odd."
"A bit mad?" she joked.
"Um…maybe."
Alice picked up the lone toothbrush. "Looks like we have to share."
"Oh, no!" Hatter gave her a look of mock terror. "My yucky germs. I don't think your mouth can handle them."
"Ha ha. My mouth has handled worse."
"Ohhhh, right. You kissed Jack. Yeah, that was pretty bad."
She spit out the toothpaste. "I was thinking more like…when you came in my mouth." She giggled as she handed him the toothbrush.
"Alice!"
"I'm kidding." Alice gave him a light pat on his bare butt as she snaked behind him. "Do you have any towels or anything?"
"Oh, I have better." Hatter put the toothbrush back in the cup. "Well, as long as they're not moldy." He playfully danced his way over to the linen closet. "Ta da! Robes! One purple, one blue. Which one do you prefer?"
She crossed her arms over her chest. "Whichever one the girl you brought here didn't wear."
"Right. So, that would be the blue," he muttered.
Alice rolled her eyes. "Lovely."
"Well, you do look lovely in the blue. I know I can make us some tea, and maybe find something edible in the house."
"Okay." She snickered as she watched Hatter tighten his robe. "Beautiful legs."
Hatter glanced down. The bottom of the purple robe stopped just above his knee. "You like them. You think they're sexy."
"Oh…yeah." Alice giggled, and took his hand as they walked down the stairs. "How come you have electricity? I mean, you haven't been here, right?"
"Wonderland is not like your world in people pay for stuff like that, Alice. We never had to pay, it just depended on the kindness of the regime, yeah?"
She scrunched her face up. "I don't understand."
Hatter nodded towards the old table. "Sit down. I'll get the tea ready."
"And…food?" she asked, hopefully.
"I think we're screwed with that." He opened up some of the cabinet doors, and made a face. "So, under the Queen of Hearts we didn't always have power. Well, I did since I was a Tea seller, but, she could take it away from anywhere she chose. Somehow, I don't think that's the case with Jack."
"Don't sound so disappointed," she said wryly.
Hatter set out the cups as he waited for the stovetop to heat up. "Jack will always be a bloody idiot."
She looked around the room. "You know…you told me your parents died, and your brother, but…this house, I don't…"
"Right. Yeah." He poured the hot water into the prepared cups. "I don't have any milk or sugar."
"Hatter…"
He sat down next to her, and handed her the steaming hot drink. "I don't really remember them. I just heard things, or saw pictures. I was three or four when they died. Not sure. My brother was eight." Alice took a sip of the tea, and waited for him to continue. "They were executed, their heads were cut off in a public display for treason, or-"
"Oh…my god," Alice whispered. "The Queen ordered the execution of your parents? No wonder you hated Jack."
"No, it wasn't her. It was…someone else. I think she may have been even more insane than the Queen."
"Not possible."
"Everything's possible. My father…Teas were just starting out, but there was a backlash from the beginning, and he worked for the Resistance because he wanted to help, and then…he tried one of the Teas."
Alice closed her eyes. "Oh, no."
Hatter shrugged. "He got caught stealing some Tea, and um…they came to pick up my mother. I remember the Suits taking her away, but…nothing else. The Queen, or whatever people called the ruler at the time, called it treason, but I think she just wanted to kill someone."
"Sounds like the Queen."
"It does, yeah?" He chuckled weakly.
"So…what happened?"
"My dad's brother and his wife moved in here, and took care of us, sent us to school, and then…the Queen of Hearts took over, and the Teas were everything here, and…they got addicted."
Alice shook her head. "Oh, my god."
"So, my brother and I left the house, and my aunt and uncle died of too much Tea. An overdose or something. I was sixteen, and…" Hatter sighed. "Life hasn't been too happy here, yeah?"
"I suppose my life has been pretty much perfect compared to that."
"I don't think anybody's life is perfect."
She nodded. "No. You're right, but, I have a chance to get some things back to normal. I mean, my dad…"
"Alice…"
"We need to go and find Charlie."
Hatter's eyes widened. "Charlie? What are you, mad?"
"Maybe." She bit her lip. "We need help, Hatter. With Caterpillar being the one who ordered me to be taken…who knows if he did something to Jack?"
"I think he was trying to take down Jack," Hatter said quietly.
"Well, there you go. Look, we know Charlie, we can trust Charlie."
"I don't know if that's the right word," he muttered. "Look, lets just stay here one more night to think everything through."
"One more night?" Alice exclaimed. "No. I mean, besides the fact that we need to eat, I mean, my father is alive. He's being held somewhere out there by Caterpillar, and…I need to get him back."
"But, Charlie?" Hatter moaned.
"I'm going to find him without you."
"Now you're really talking mad."
She pushed her chair back and stood up. "Are there clothes here? I mean, I would love to wear something semi clean."
"Yeah. There's closets upstairs. Alice-"
"You promised me that we would get him back," she interjected.
Hatter stood up, and wrapped his arms around her. "We will. I just think we need to plan this whole thing out better."
"So says the guy who told me that a pink flamingo was our best chance of escaping."
"Ah, you're throwing that in my face, yeah?" He grinned.
"I'm asking you to trust me this time," Alice whispered. She removed herself from his hold, and started to head up the stairs.
"Oh. Right."
The two Suits opened the door, and pushed Robert through. "I have to ask you to tell your minions that I don't need to be handled so roughly," he muttered.
Evredee giggled. "I'm sorry about that, darling. I like thinking of you as my own little prisoner. Is it so wrong that sometimes I like to act the part? I mean…I was your prisoner in a way, was I not?"
Robert stiffened. "Why did you bring me up here?"
"Oh." She winked at him, and gestured to the Suits in the room with her. Many of them were in various stages of undress, some of them were even completely naked as they milled around the room. "I think we can safely say that your whole idea of poisoning the water with the Teas was quite, um, successful." Evredee sidled up next to one of the Suits. "You love me don't you?"
"I adore you," the man replied fervently.
"It worked," Robert whispered.
"Why do you look so surprised? I mean, are you losing faith in yourself?" Evredee jumped over to him, and began to stroke at his beard. "I'm feeling like a visit to the city is in order. I think you need to start the program for the Teas to be sent through the pipes there."
"Why?"
"Oh, you know why." She smiled. "What Teas did you add to the water here?"
Robert swallowed. "A combination. Loyalty, Love, Patriotism."
"Send them through the pipes to the city."
"No…"
"Yes! It worked this fast here, think of all the people in the city of Wonderland who'll be under my control. By the time I get there," she rubbed her hands together. "it'll already have started. And as for those who resist the change, well, I have always loved public executions." Evredee licked her lips. "I remember the last ones I ordered. The Hatters. You know, I wonder if they had any descendents. I mean, that would be kismet, would it not, to start my rule again by executing the son or daughter of the ones I finished on before."
Robert whipped his head up. "Stay away from that idea," he hissed.
"Stay away? What are you hiding?"
"I'm not hiding anything."
"Oh, but you are. What about the Hatters?"
He closed his eyes. "Our daughter is engaged to one."
Evredee froze. "Right. I met him. I mean, Carol met him. I remember…oh. That little bitch. That sneaky little bitch." She laughed. "All along. I had a Hatter in my house. You know, it's really unbelievable to me."
"What is?"
"Oh, well, Alice is rather homely, isn't she? I think she took after your family in looks, sadly. Hard to believe that she managed to land someone like him." Evredee smirked. "I suppose she must have some tricks in the sack, like her mother."
Robert shook his head. "What is wrong with you?"
"Nothing. In fact, I think I'm completely sane. The rest of you are mad. I'm going to send some of my lovely Suits out to find this young Hatter."
"Why? What are you planning to do?"
"Do? Lets see, a relatively good looking young man…I think I'll have a bit of fun with him, show him a couple of things in the bedroom that even Alice couldn't do." She grinned. "Poor Alice. She'll cry, and cry once she realizes that I've taken him for my own."
"How do you even know he's here?"
"Oh, but he is. The so-called love of his life has been taken back to his world…he'll be here."
"You're sick," Robert spat out.
Evredee flew at him; throwing him against the wall. "I'm sick? I'm not the one who changed someone's personality, and created this whole little fake family life. You did. You're the sick one. You made me be someone I wasn't, and you enjoyed her didn't you? Carol? You enjoyed what you created, sticking your cock in there?"
"Shut up," he whispered.
"No. Because it's the truth, and you know it. If I'm sick, then you're just as sick as I am." She giggled. "Poor Alice. That doesn't bode well for her state of mind. Now, go."
"I can't let you do this."
"Uh, yeah you can. Because if you don't…Alice dies. If you do, I'll keep her alive, maybe not so happily, but, she'll be alive."
He shook his head. "You couldn't do that. Not to Alice."
"Wanna bet? There were some lovely Diamond girls here earlier, I suppose they came to see their boyfriends or whatever." She shrugged. "They were too pretty so I killed them. I didn't know them. I can kill Alice. So, I'm going to leave for the city soon. You, um, better go and set everything up."
"No…no…no!" he yelled as she nodded at the Suits to drag him out.
Evredee rolled her eyes. "Seriously? He's so overdramatic. So! Who's up for a threesome?"
A/N: More stuff is getting revealed! I hope you guys are able to follow along with the jumping back and forth. Please let me know if there are any questions that you have and I'll do my best to answer them. I have quite a few chapters plotted out just so I can keep myself straight as well :) Let me know what you think!
