This chapters for LadyLiterary, who seemed very insistent on a quick update!

Chapter Seven

Let us help

I dropped yet another deer carcase to the ground and sucked in an unnecessary breath, Jasper was still watching me from a small distance and I knew that I had to try and calm myself before I went too far. My throat seemed to have returned to its constant tingling sensation and I resigned myself to the fact that it wasn't going to get better than this, even if I drank another seven deer's it wasn't going to make it stop.

Edward and Emmett had made their excuses of getting their own dinner about twenty minutes ago but I knew there had been no truth to their words. They had gone hunting only last night and I had known them long enough to understand that they only hunted every week or so. The unspoken truth was that they had just wanted to leave; unlike some people they gave me privacy as I ate.

I looked down at my dress and almost smiled, there were still blood patches here and there but it was a big improvement to the last few times I had fed.

I was getting better.

As soon as I looked up at Jasper my small feeling of pride at such a simple thing melted away, he didn't look angry like I thought he was going to. His look reminded me of the first one Diego had given me. Pity. He was standing there watching me, he was always watching me.

"Well?" I asked when a moment had passed of us simply looking at one another "Isn't this the part where you say I told you so?"

He frowned and turned his head slightly; almost like he thought doing so would help him see me better.

"Why would I do that?"

"You said I wasn't ready to go out on my own" I shrugged and looked around at the dead deer that were scattered around the clearing we were in, now that I looked at them it seemed like there might have been a few more than seven "and you were right. I wasn't even near a human, all I did was get one smell of them and I went nuts. I guess getting close to them right now really isn't an option"

"I know"

I narrowed my eyes at his tone of voice and he held up his hands in a surrendering gesture and smiled. It was odd when I thought about it; in all the time we have known each other he had never truly smiled at me in till now.

"I only agreed to what you said Bree, I never said I told you so. I would never say that about this. With time it will get better"

I rolled my eyes and wished that I could stuff those words back down his throat, every day he said the same thing and every day I kept waiting for the burning to get better, for some kind of sign that one day it would. So far I had seen nothing, I was feeling this hunger for nothing.

"It will" Jasper insisted when he felt my emotions. I turned away and tried not to scowl, the longer I spent here the more annoying his little trick was becoming. If I wanted him to know how I was feeling then I would tell him. There was no need for him to read into them every two seconds.

In a flash too fast for even me to see Jasper was standing in front of me. I went to crouch defensively when I realised that he wasn't moving, he was simply standing there. His arms were folded and he had his familiar frown on his face as he looked down at me.

"You really don't like us do you?

I kept my face blank as he asked the question but I knew he could feel my disbelief that he had even bothered asking. Why would he care how I felt about them? Why would any of them? They were babysitting me because their leader had been too kind to kill me, something I was sure he was starting to regret now that he realised how much trouble I was.

"My family care about you Bree" he hesitated for one fourth of a second "I care about you too"

I said nothing and simply gave him a disbelieving look; I was willing to believe a lot of things but them caring for me weren't one of them. I knew they had done a lot for me and I was thankful that they had saved my life and helped me but I had lived with Vampires enough to know what they were like.

What we were like.

I thought of all of the people that I had seen ripped apart and burned for pointless reasons and I knew that I was right. People like us would turn on others for their own amusement if the mood took them.

I doubted we were even capable of caring unless it was our mate.

Then what about Fred?

The question entered my mind so suddenly that it took me by surprise; he had come back for me even though he knew that he was putting himself in danger by doing so. Even when he had realised that I was in trouble he had helped me and left with the cloaked figured in order for me to live.

Fred had cared.

"Bree?" I nodded to show that I was listening and he carried on "I know I don't always act like someone who cares but I have my reasons for doing so. I'm simply protecting my family and I know they would do the same for me. As they would do for you"

I shook my head.

"Don't confuse me with your family Jasper. One way or another I'm not staying here, even if the cloaked figures let me live I wouldn't stay. I can't live like this and I know I don't belong here. I'm a vampire, nothing more. I know my place, even if your family don't seem to understand theirs. I'm not going to try and be something that I'm not"

He considered my words for a moment before he nodded.

"If you want to go then go"

My gaze snapped to his at his words and I watched his expression to try and see if he was lying, when his face gave away nothing I took a step back.

"You'd let me go?"

"Of course" he nodded, trying to prove his point he took a step to the side and cleared the way for me "If you feel like a prisoner with us then I'm not going to make you stay. I was a prisoner once. I know what being trapped is like. I can't say it's something that I would like you to experience like I did"

I looked straight ahead to the deeper part of the forest, the path that would take me further from the yellow eyes home. It took everything I had not to run right that second, I had never been that far away from the house before but I had always wanted to.

There was so much that I had yet to see and I longed to see what laid beyond these woods, as long as I stayed here that was a good chance that it would be years before I would even see the outside world without a member of their family standing by my side. Years before I knew what freedom would really be like.

For reasons I didn't understand I stayed where I was and looked at Jasper instead, his face was giving nothing away but somehow I knew that he was telling me the truth, if I really wanted to leave here he would let me go.

"You'd be putting your family in danger" I couldn't stop myself from pointing out "if they found out that you let me go they would punish you all"

"We'd think of something. My family has a knack for getting out of trouble. We'd handle it I'm sure"

I looked at him in confusion and tried to understand.

"Why would you do that? You've spent all this time guarding me to keep me away from your family and now you would simply ruin all of that by letting me go? Why?"

He smiled away but this time it was different, it reminded me of the smile that Riley had given me when I had met him but at the same time it was completely different , the warmth I saw in his smile was real.

"I told you: I care about you" when he saw that I need more he carried on "I wasn't protecting them from you Bree, I was protecting you from yourself. You're a good kid, I know that and deep down I know that you know that too. But when we're turned we become different people if we let ourselves. Our human sides blocked out and all that's left in the end is hunger and death"

I thought of my own hunger and silently agreed.

"That's why we live this life Bree, so that we can try and hold onto who we really are and not who our hunger makes us. I know I don't leave you alone but I promise you that I was doing it for your own good, I was trying to help. I wanted to help you remember what it's like to be human. Once you start to remember your hunger gets better, easier to keep under control. Instead of looking at them and seeing your next meal you see someone's mother, father, daughter, son...you start to see that people out there need them more then you need their blood"

I remembered the night Riley had taken us to the boat and all of the people that I had killed, for all I knew I had killed whole families that night. Were their people out there right now morning the loss of a loved one that had been on that boat? Before then I had only ever killed drugies, hookers...the ones that no one had missed. But people on that boat would be missed; their families would wonder where they were when they didn't return home.

Not sparing Jasper another look I ran away before I could change my mind.

I was free.

And yet I felt more trapped then I had done before.

Let me know what you think ~Haraldzidla