Questioning Caleb yielded no revelations as Tanis had been tight-lipped with regard to what Kraven's intentions might be. It seemed unlikely that this boded well; particularly when Li's violent reaction was taken into account. I reconvened with Raze and a few of our scouts and tried to ascertain the true extent of our losses at the periphery. It seemed that the borders were indeed retracting, a fact that filled me with icy apprehension.
When the sun crossed half of its path across the sky, I returned to find Li still in the bedchamber. She was standing by the window, the length of her hair falling most of the way down her back. Her fingers were digging into the backs of her crossed arms. I approached slowly expecting her to turn at any moment, but she waited until I was at her side before she acknowledged my presence.
"I apologize for my outburst earlier sir," she began, her voice hard. "Sometimes I'm overcome by what I see – I can't seem to predict when that is going to happen."
"Don't give it another thought," I said matter-of-factly, sensing that any attempt on my part to comfort would embarrass her further. She was after all a warrior at heart, and as such I understood that to show vulnerability of any kind would go against the grain of her composition. "I am appreciative of the information that you gleaned. I would be interested to hear more…if you are ready."
"Of course," she stated, turning to face me sharply and standing at attention almost as if on a pin. Her eyes were stony, as if the silver had been leached and replaced with something harder. "You have to understand that it only comes to me in pieces, so unfortunately I cannot give you a full picture. Nothing that I see is definite or written in stone. Choices can always be made at the last moment that will alter the course of what I have seen."
"What do you mean?" I asked, genuinely intrigued.
"Well for one, I saw myself living a long happy life with my lover and our child," she sighed, her voice dropping low with regret. "I curse the day that I had that vision…it made what happened in reality a harder burden to bear."
We were silent for a time, but she went on before long.
"I saw a meeting between you and Kraven, but it was wrong…it was not a clandestine encounter as was alluded to by Caleb. The air smelled of blood, both vampire and Lycan. I saw you marked by Kraven, though how or by what I do not know. And then the fortress was in flames." She stopped, her body visibly shaking. I reached for her arm and gently led her to the bed, pressing her to sit. She did so grudgingly, looking up into my face with a mixture of foreboding and reluctance.
"Is there more?" I asked.
"There is, but it is even more puzzling. I saw you alone following a shadow into the wilderness. I do not know what the shadow was Lucian, but it filled me with a terrible dread. I have felt it before…" She stopped.
"What?" I asked. "When did you feel it?"
"It was when I was alone in the woods. Remember that I told you that I lived unseen among other creatures too terrible to name?"
"Yes."
"They were something different from us, Lycans and vampires I mean. They were more subtle, existing not quite in the physical realm, but also not entirely in the ether. They were darkness. I avoided them as much as possible."
"And you saw me follow them?"
"I don't know, like I said all I saw was a shadow. But it filled me with a foreboding."
I walked away from her, pondering this new information. What would possess me to leave my pack; especially now when they needed me the most? I had so many grand designs for the future, ways of defeating the vampires that would take decades, if not centuries to reach fruition. It seemed unlikely that I would leave.
"I have to think about this," I said, more to the corner of the room than to Li. "I will have to depend on you, my friend, to not allow me to go wandering off into the wilderness following some siren song." I turned back to her with a smirk, only to see that her face was grave, her eyes turned down to the floor. "What is it?" I walked toward her and kneeled at her feet.
She was reluctant in her answer, refusing to meet my eyes.
"I will not be here…we will part company before you leave the fortress," was her enigmatic reply.
I felt a sting in my chest, my breath caught momentarily in my throat. A pain that was unexpected and yet familiar crept into my heart.
Careful Lucian.
I maintained my calm, but my mind was flooded with questions, and the pain in my chest spread slowly up to my throat and down my torso into my gut.
Do you feel pain at the thought of losing this woman? How can you betray Sonja?
I stood up, straightening to my full height but remaining standing in front of her. She looked very small sitting on the bed, her gaze continuing to remain aloof. I wanted her to say something, anything that would explain this strange admission, and yet I felt powerless to press the issue. To do so would be to admit that the thought of her absence would bother me, and to speak those words out loud would be an affront to my beloved.
The silence became pervasive as it seemed that neither of us was breathing. Finally after an eternity Li reached out tentatively and took my hand. She brought it to her cheek where I felt the moist trail of a tear. My resolve deteriorated somewhat, as I was suddenly struck with an overwhelming thought. Would Sonja want me to be alone forever? Had the tables been turned would I have wanted her to mourn me indefinitely? This time the voice in my head was not my own, but that of my beloved.
Enough is enough Lucian. Take comfort in her, and allow her to do the same.
I knelt in front of Li again, placing my other hand on her face and gently lifting her gaze to mine.
"I want to tell you Li," I began, my voice barely a whisper. "I too had a great love. What we had was forbidden and for it we paid the ultimate price: she with her life and the life of our unborn child and for my part I was left with an eternity to mourn them. I have never spoken of this to another. I have been surrounded by my kinsmen for nearly two centuries and yet I have been alone…that is until I met you."
I stroked her hair gently, allowing myself to remember what it felt like to touch another being in kindness and not in battle. My hand slid down and rested in the crook between her neck and shoulder. The skin there was bare, and I was captivated by the warmth and softness of her skin. Sonja's skin had been smooth and cold, a thrilling contrast to my own warm, pliable skin. I found comfort in the fact that Li was different. I was not replacing Sonja. I was simply allowing for the existence of someone else.
"I do not wish to be parted from you," I said quietly, rubbing my thumb along the line of her jaw. "So if we can make decisions to stop what you have foreseen from happening, I would be grateful."
Her brows furrowed ever so slightly and something dark passed through her steel-colored eyes, but then she sighed and allowed her countenance to ease.
"We shall do our best, my dearest friend," she said softly, a faint smile gracing her lips. She placed her hand gently on my cheek. I turned my face, placing my nose and mouth in her hand, kissing her palm and breathing in the scent of her. We both perfectly still, and it seemed like the room was humming with the energy between us.
"Lucian!" Raze's voice called from the corridor, moving quickly in our direction. I stood, reluctantly retreating from her touch. Her hand remained hovering in the air where my face had been, but she allowed her arm to drop when Raze entered the room. He was in such a state of agitation that I felt a swell of apprehension, and Li was on her feet by my side in an instant.
"What is it?" I asked, the edge in my voice betraying my disquiet. I saw Li stiffen out of the corner of my eye.
"There is some…thing outside of the fortress. It is asking to speak with you," Raze said, his voice full of fear, an uncommon emotion in the big Lycan.
Li growled. I did not need to consult her because I already knew…the darkness had come for me.
