Hey! Sorry this update took so long, life is hectic right now and I needed to do this chapter justice. That being said it's a bit shorter than the others but I think it encompasses everything that needed to be in it! So please enjoy.

WARNING! this chapter ratchets up the rating to like a T to possible M because of content and adult themes. Many of you may have already guessed Quinn's secret so this chapter will get mature due to that type stuff, yeah.

Sorry don't want to reveal too much!

Final A/N- there are flashbacks that will be in italics so don't get confused!


Quinn took a deep breath and pushed herself fully upright. If she was going to tell Rachel what happened she needed to collect herself first. Rachel, for her part, was patient. She just sat there giving the blonde concerned looks out of the corner of her eye.

"It was over the summer." Quinn began. She tried to meet Rachel's eyes but she couldn't. She felt broken, dirty, like if she looked at Rachel she would ruin her too. The blonde nervously picked at grass, creating a small green pile.

"Santana dragged me to this concert for a band she loved. It was downtown. At that super old venue they almost tore down two years ago because of the health department."

Rachel knew the place well. When she was younger, before her fathers moved out of the city, she would bike to the theater and sneak in so she could sing on the stage. The place was disgusting and always looked like it was ready to collapse, but she loved it nonetheless. She got the feeling Quinn was about to change her perspective on it.

"You know Santana, she doesn't do anything small so from the second we walked in, people knew we were there." Rachel saw Quinn's eyes get a far away look in them and her hands stilled in their grass shredding. Quinn wasn't really there anymore, she was back in that theater.

Santana walked in with Quinn right behind and immediately almost got into a fight over getting closer to the stage. Once they got situated and the first openers came on stage- some techno group nobody really cared about- two guys approached them. They were moderately attractive, not enough so they attracted attention but not ugly either.

The taller of the two, a man who seemed to be in his early twenties with short blonde hair, walked up to Santana. "Hey, my name is Blake, this is my friend Jackson. We were wondering if we could buy you lovely ladies a couple of drinks."

Santana turned to Quinn and they shared a quick look before the Latina brushed the men off. She held up her hand, displaying the black X's that had been sharpied on them like they had been on all of the underaged peoples' hands upon entering, "No thanks, we're fine."

They guy didn't seem to get the hint, "You sure? We won't tell anyone."

By now Santana's naturally short fuse ran out, "Look I tried to be nice but now your just getting on my nerves. So why don't you take your creepy friend and get the hell out of our faces?"

The other man, the 'creepy' one, narrowed his eyes at her. He was slightly shorter but had a sturdier build, like a football player, and had close cropped black hair. He did indeed give Quinn the creeps.

Quinn was landed back in reality when she heard Rachel draw in a sharp gasp, the brunette knew where this story was going but she needed to hear Quinn say it to really believe it. Just like the blonde needed to say it to really move on from it.

"It was a lot of fun for a while. Concerts with Santana always are. But I had to go to the bathroom. Santana offered to come with me but they were playing her favorite song and I didn't want to take her away so I went on my own."

Rachel was surprised when Quinn let out a hoarse laugh, "Do you know how filthy those bathrooms are?" the blonde never expected an answer, she just kept on going, "I can't imagine how long it's been since they've cleaned those mirrors. I remember there was this crack right eye level in front of the sinks and it's got a bit of a red stain in it. The whole time it happened I just looked at that stain and wondered if it was blood or lipstick."

The brunette didn't even want to know what Quinn was referencing when she said 'the whole time it happened' but she knew whether she wanted to or not, Quinn would tell her.

"I went there and it was empty. Which wasn't surprising I guess, good band, nasty conditions, the night wasn't that far along so everyone was listening to the music. I was fixing my hair in the mirror when it happened."

Quinn trailed off again and Rachel's only prompting was to put a reassuring hand on the blonde's arm. The faraway look returned to the runner's eyes and Rachel knew she wasn't being talked to so much as through.

The music was pounding one of the catchy songs Santana was always humming on runs. The song was interrupted when the door banged open.

"I'm sorry, I think you may be in the wrong place." The figure standing in the doorway was the man from earlier. The 'creepy' one Santana had brushed off.

He came fully into the bathroom and shut the door behind him, locking it menacingly. "I'm exactly where I need to be sweetheart."

The name 'sweetheart' sent chills down her spine and she recoiled against the sinks, shrinking in on herself. The man pushed off the door and slowly began walking towards her. As he drew nearer Quinn could clearly see his unshaven stubble, his bloodshot eyes, his uneven yellow teeth, and she could smell the alcohol on his breath. More importantly she could see the way his muscles rippled under his shirt. She stood no match for him.

"Remember me from earlier? My friend offered to buy you a drink?" he waited to continue until Quinn nodded. She had to shake herself from her apparent paralysis that the shock of being locked in the bathroom with such a man put her in, "You know when I was in school, that was how every day went. Perfect pretty girls like you just pushed me off without a second glance."

His talking distracted Quinn and before she realized it, he was upon her. He grabbed her wrists and spun her around so she was facing the mirror. His hips trapped hers against the counter, hard. She had bruises for a week afterwards.

From her hips on the counter, from his fingermarks on her wrists and forearms, from his hands on her neck. The purple marks and his hands were everywhere.

Quinn's head was forced forward so she was face to face with her reflection. She couldn't bring herself to make eye contact with her reflection but the man, Jackson, forced her to keep her eyes open.

So the entire time she could do nothing but look straight ahead at the tears slowly dripping down her cheeks, smearing her makeup and making her eyes red. That was the image she was faced with when he started pulling at her jeans and when she heard him pull down his own zipper.

Throughout it all he was talking to her, whispering in her ear. 'This is your fault' 'You're not so perfect now.' 'You're a dirty slut like all of the other ones who turned me down before.' 'You're so worthless, and there's nothing you can do about it.' 'If you weren't such a perfect cocky bitch this would never have happened.'

When he was done he fixed his own clothing and punched Quinn square in the jaw. The blow caught her by surprise and she stumbled into a hand dryer. She tried to grab onto it for support but slipped down the wall. Once she hit the floor Jackson kicked her, hard in the ribs- that bruise lasted for weeks after- and she was knocked unconscious.

She felt like she was out for hours but when she cam to they were still playing that same damn song. So she picked herself up off the ground, straightened her jeans, wiped off her eyes and face but did everything she could to avoid looking in the mirror. She made sure her sleeves were pulled down over her new bruises and her hair hid the ones forming on her neck.

When she rejoined Santana, the Latina asked Quinn if she was alright because her face seemed flushed but after Quinn reassured her she was fine, the subject was dropped. It wasn't hard to hide from Santana after that, it was the summer so she only saw her at cross country practice where she could disguise her bruises with makeup or clothes or pass them off as an encounter with a hard object when she wasn't looking.

Santana didn't raise any concerns because she trusted Quinn. It wast that Santana was careless or a bad friend, she was just one more failure to save the blonde from herself.

But Quinn knew, in her own mind at least, she couldn't let Santana know what happened and she couldn't tell anyone else. What is he was right? If it was her fault and she could have prevented it if she had been a different person.

Now that the truth was out, there was nothing Rachel could say. Nothing she could do. She was frozen in the shock of Quinn's confession. The blonde misread the hurt and anger in Rachel's eyes for disgust and immediately regretted telling the soccer player.

She tried to get up and leave. Just to go home, curl into a ball, and not move for a long time. But Rachel prevented her. She got up too and pulled the blonde into a hug. Rachel got over her shock to try to comfort the girl, "I'm so sorry that happened Quinn. There has to be something we can do."

"No, I just want it to go away." Quinn shook her head against Rachel's shoulder and was surprised when she saw dark blotches appearing on Rachel's shirt, but then she realized they were from her own tears.

"Alright." It was, in fact, extremely far from 'alright' but Rachel wasn't going to push the issue now. She just rubbed Quinn's back and kept telling her everything would be alright.

After a while the blonde's tears subsided and they were just left hugging on the track.

"Do you need me to drive you home?" Rachel asked. The last thing she needed was the Quinn getting into a car accident.

"No. I'll be fine." She pulled back from the hug and went over to the bleachers to retrieve her shirt- it had been off ever since she was running laps- and used it to wipe her tears.

They collected the rest of their belongings and started the trek to the parking lot together. When Quinn made it to her car she paused and turned to Rachel, whose car was not parked that far away from her own, "I still don't know."

"Know what?" Rachel was so surprised at the blonde's comment that she nearly dropped her keys.

"If that stain was blood or lipstick. Now I realize it could be either."


When Quinn arrived back at her house her parents were gone- as usual- and she was alone. She headed up to her bathroom as she had so many times before and didn't even pause before she reached under her sink and grabbed the small hair cutting scissors.

Her tears started falling fast and heavy, blurring her vision. She swiped out with her scissors, cutting her thighs, stomach, hips.

Jackson's words were echoing in her head. Each comment was punctuated with a cut.

'You're worthless.' cut.

'This is your fault' cut.

'You're not so perfect now.' cut.

'You're a dirty slut' cut.

'If you weren't such a perfect cocky bitch this would never have happened.' cut

In the end she only actually had a few cuts that were more than white scratches. But what was worse was the sinking feeling in her gut and the question that kept creeping back into her head since it happened.

If I looked like this when it happened, if I looked as bad on the outside as I feel on the outside would this have happened?

It was the question bouncing though her head when she tried to fall asleep that night.


The next day in school Quinn walked into Calculus alone. She was early so nobody else was around and she sat down, laid her head on her desk, and fell asleep. She had not been able to sleep much the night before so she was running on fumes.

When Rachel arrived she saw the sleeping Quinn and she tried not to grimace at the long sleeves and pants the blonde wore though it was still hot outside. She was going to help Quinn though this, even if she couldn't help herself.


Hope you all enjoyed it. Review and tell me what you thought! I'm thinking about ending this story here but I might continue it if there's interest for an epilogue what happened next type of thing or simply another couple of chapters.

Thanks for reading!

P.S. Special thank you to- LionAgron, CorruptedXAngel (soon is now :)), rizzlescalzonafic (I'm happy you are enjoying the characters, I was trying really hard to develop them in this chapter, especially Quinn), and 'Guest' (was Quinn's secret what you thought it was?) I loved all of your reviews!