I wonder what her wish was…
I smoothed the freshly changed bedsheet as I ran my arm on it while lying down on my back.
That day of Tanzaki Festival, I secretly followed Kumiko around just like Sapphire and Hazuki, yet I tried my best not to make it obvious as to let her notice. But she quickly vanished during afternoon practice and I was slow to be aware of her absence. I can't skip practice, and because of that I never saw her wish, although it may seem rude to be scheming for something so private, and possibly trivial. Still, it nagged me so badly. Even I am surprised with how I acted. It could have been something simple, like playing euphonium better. But it didn't feel that way to me. If it was even that, she would never try to hide it. It felt important to her, something she can't tell, even to me. It was something she could not confide in anyone, not even to her friends. It was a part of her, and a really special one. I want to get ahold of it in the hopes that it will somewhat fill the emptiness inside me. I want her to let me in. I want to take a peek inside her mind. I want her everything. Because ever since she started avoiding me, the hollow and strange feeling never went away. I feel utterly changed by it. I feel like I'm not as independent as I thought I am. Without Kumiko…
I sighed. "If I'm going to be like this, then please make my wish come true."
I instantly thought of Taki-sensei. I have to talk to him.
I still can't figure what these feelings are, but if I wrote such a thing as a wish…
"My wish, huh…"
I should have searched for it when I had the chance. But I am not fully capable of searching through tons of wishes to find Reina's. Besides, her handwriting is hard to recognize. Not because it's ugly or anything, but because of my unfamiliarity to it. It's improbable to find it in the short amount of privacy I had, which was just enough for me to hang mine and stride away. Most of my time was taken up by the task of finding the bamboo trees, because they moved it somewhere else that afternoon. Asuka-senpai was quite pissed when I refused to show up, even when Taki sensei was not around. I told her I practiced on my own outside but I could tell by the way she looked and scrutinized me that she didn't buy it. But it was more surprising that Reina didn't become hostile at the fact that I skipped practice, the cute perfectionist of a musician that she is. She only stared at me blankly, deep in thought. Then there was Hazuki, whose expression I can't quite place. There was a mix of fury, pain, and confusion in her eyes as she held my gaze. I dismissed it largely as disappointment of not being able to grab hold of my tanzaku. I swear the only thing left for her to do was to sniff every inch of that paper and bury her eyes on the three letters I wrote. Maybe even taste it and tell me what kind of tree it was made out of.
She didn't talk to me much as we went home that day. She must have been really furious. I wish tomorrow would be different.
The moment Hazuki's eyes and mine met the next morning told me that she still didn't forgive me. There was something more those eyes gave away other than fury. Something like mistrust. But I feared confrontation with her and guess what? I'm the best at running away. No sweat. (But it'll probably bug me for the next few hours.) She didn't try to talk to me all morning. She was normal around others except me. I tried to think it was okay. I'm also good at pretending, thank god.
"Hey, Kumiko," Reina whispered to my ear too closely. I could feel her warm breath across my ear and suppressed a blush.
"Uhh, yeah?" I replied without looking back.
"Mm, nothing." She said, smiling while looking into my eyes, and I could have sworn that my eyes screamed, 'Help! Death by cardiac arrest!' I smiled back and wanted to kiss her badly.
"You okay?" She asked, her fingers circling the back of my hand. HELP TOO MUCH SKINSHIP! But damn, I love it.
"It's nothing, babe," I said teasingly while playing with her fingers.
"Is it because of Hazuki?"
"I don't know… Maybe?"
"It's gonna be okay," Reina whispered reassuringly. She let her fingers' touch linger before she went back to her seat. I found myself wishing she could have stayed longer. I followed her with my eyes even as she arrived in her seat, and a shadow loomed from my blind side. Before I could look to see who it is, a note skidded on top of my desk, my name written on the outer side. I looked up and Hazuki was walking back to her seat.
After school, meet me later at the school gate, let's grab some food and talk.
Hazuki's not usually the serious type, but this note sure makes my skin tingle. Is this some sort of death threat or what?
I motioned an okay with my hand in her direction, keeping a straight face.
Hours passed painfully slow during the morning, with Mathematics as deathly as ever. Ever since the incident of forgetting my textbook, that teacher made sure to glance at my direction to check me. I'll say she's itching to catch me. Then it was lunch, and Reina was the first to come to me, her lunchbox carefully wrapped in a piece of cloth.
"Wanna eat together?" She asked.
"Can I even say no?" I replied with a grin, and she couldn't help but smile back. We begin to trudge our way to the rooftop. It was one of my favorite places to be in because of the gentle breeze and the sense of being away from everyone else. No one ever likes to go to the rooftop partly because they found it a burden to walk there, when they can just hang out wherever they please. The stairs are a little staggering, but personally it's worth it. A bead of sweat trickled down Reina's face as we climbed the flight of stairs. I took out the handkerchief and wiped the side of her face. She jerked at the unexpected touch and as she reached out to touch my hand holding the hanky, she hesitated and reached out to touch my face. Electricity seemed to have sparked the second her touch met my cheek. Her hand is warm, her touch gentle. Her eyes locked onto mine and I couldn't look away. I drowned in her gaze, consumed by the battle of fierceness and serenity in her eyes. My heart skipped and thumped violently in my chest, but I willed myself to speak.
"Reina…?"
"Kumiko…" Her whisper almost inaudible. She still looked into my eyes. There was something there… something that I hope it is. Reina opened her mouth to speak but she hesitated.
"What is it?" My voice was low like we're hiding from someone who wants catch us. If you tell me now that you love me, I swear I will tell you how I feel. I swear I will be honest with my feelings, just give me even the slightest bit of affection that I can cling to.
"Will you… Can you accompany me later to Taki-sensei? There's…" She stopped, her gaze falling, "There's something I wanted to tell him."
I could almost hear my heart drop to the pit of my stomach. I feel like the color is draining from my face, the energy leaving my body. What was I thinking..? Of course, it will be him you're looking for. It was never me. If it's going to be a confession, then I'd rather not be there. It will be like…
Watching my world fall apart.
"I'm sorry I can't come with you today. Hazuki asked me to spend the afternoon with her. She said she wanted to talk about something." It was a good thing I had an excuse, because I don't think I could have said no even when I know it will hurt.
"Oh, that's too bad." There's a distant look in her eyes as she stared ahead, like she's seeing something I could not. Reina… what are you thinking of right now?
Lunch didn't feel as fantastic as I imagined it would be, and my appetite just left me. I feel sad how I just hoped she felt something between us. The way she looked at me was mesmerizing, and I thought she felt the same when our eyes locked onto each other. I'm just so miserable and pitiful at this point.
Afternoon classes went by pretty quickly. The orange hue of the setting sun washed over the classrooms, and it had a happy and melancholic feeling to it. I leaned on my own desk and watched Reina gather her things and tidy her place. All the others have either gone home or attended their afternoon practices, so the place was fairly deserted. She took her bag and slung it on her shoulder, and turned to me to wave goodbye. I smiled and waved back. Reina turned and walked away, and I watched her until she turned round the corner.
Someone cleared her throat behind me. I whipped around and saw Hazuki sitting on her chair, gaze locked onto me. She was watching me the whole time. She stood up, pushed her chair under the desk and
"Let's go and take a table at McDonald's where we can talk a little more… privately."
Is she that pissed?
"Look if this is about the wish, I'm so sorry I didn't te—"
"It's not really about it. It's partly that but there's an entirely different matter you're not telling me." She snapped. "If we're really friends, then you should have told me."
"But there's nothing else! It's just a stupid wish, Hazuki!" I threw my hands up in exasperation.
"Then what was that about?! The way you looked at Reina… You think I didn't notice?" She half-shouted through gritted teeth.
What..?
I blinked at her. She was dead serious. The setting sun's dying rays embraced her, and her striking eyes were glinting in the fading sunlight.
"What… are you talking about?" I can feel the quickened heartbeats in my chest, and the cold that crept to my stomach. I was afraid.
"You love her, don't you Kumiko?" She still stared into my eyes, searching for a yes. But I couldn't speak. My legs couldn't quite support me now, and I gripped the side of the table that I may not stumble. My head swam, my vision blurring a bit. I couldn't think straight. The fear consumed me.
I didn't want them to know, not yet. But how did she know? There's so much more than she's letting on.
I opened my mouth but no sound came out.
"If you want to know how I knew and what I personally think, then let's go." Hazuki shouldered her bag and walked to the door. She looked back, and I found myself following her.
I don't understand what's happening, but I was so gripped with fear, that it felt as if I was being kidnapped by my own friend. I can't escape.
I can't deny anymore. I don't have enough choices.
If I was accused of loving her, then I am indeed guilty.
Guilty of the innocent love I felt for her.
A.N.
Good day! Just wanna say the bold parts sucked! I tried editing it over and over but it didn't go away. :/ Until now. -.-' Hope it didn't bother you too much T-T
Anyway, thank you for your reviews! It encourages me a lot to continue. I thought about discontinuing this but when I read your comments it made me so happy that I continued anyway.
Also, I already made a draft for Citrus! I won't publish it before I finish this nor before I visualized the chapters. It's going to be my first story containing *cough* "mature content." It's my first time writing such a scene -o.o-
Thank you for reading this story!
