Disclaimer: As you know... blah blah blah... own South Of Nowhere... Blah blah blah... Copyright laws.. ladida
Authors Note Pre-Story: I know some people were a little weirded out by the Short. Yes, unnecessary, but all the same, it was fun and honestly, I wouldn't have kept writing the story if I hadn't. I somehow managed to piss myself off. But anyway, I felt bad for those who felt jipped of an actual chapter, so I wrote the next actual chapter for you while listening to my Veronica's playlist. Your Welcome! Now read it. XD
It was hard to watch that. To see Ashley so easily just kiss Katie. To look at me and then just go and do something like that. It hurt more than it should have, and I had found myself turning away from them, turning away from Ashley.
No, I wasn't a lesbian. I know, at thins point, it totally seems like I am. I never think like this about other girls. Just Ashley. Maybe I'm gay just for Ashley. I told my mum about it yesterday after it happened about what I saw and how it made me feel, and she told me the same thing she always does. Being gay is unnatural, and its like a sickness, and over time, these feeling should heal. But a feeling like this... there is no way that these feelings are temporary. They're way to strong to be wrong, and it's not in my head. It's in my heart.
Okay, I know how it sounds. Just a few days, I was in complete denial, and totally agreeing with my mother. What changed? I got sick of ignoring these feelings. Literally. I came home angry and crying and threw up in the bathroom. It's not something that wants to be ignored. It's big, and beautiful, like a black tiger, but painful and aggressive. And knowing that Katie was with Ashley, not me, made me want to kill her. Grab the stupid katana that Glen is always talking about and just cut off her head.
I slammed the butchers knife through the head of lettuce sharply, cutting it neatly in half. Clay, who was sitting in the living room, walked in looking worried.
He looked at the lettuce and relaxed. "Spencer, your alright. I though you cut your hand off." He said, picking up a piece of lettuce and taking a bite out of it.
I ran my finger along the back of the knife and growled. "I wish I could cut Katie's hand off."
Clay took the knife from me and raised his eyebrows. He set it on on the counter behind him and leaned against it, folding his arms against his chest. "This wouldn't happen to be the same Katie who is currently dating Ashley, would it?" he questioned.
I froze, looking cautiously at my adopted brother. I inhaled at looked at the ceiling.
He chuckled and put a hand on my shoulder. "It's okay, you know. I mean, why wouldn't it be okay?"
I exhaled and shook my head. "Because Mum would never accept it. Because she told me it's wrong, and I believed her for so long." I looked at the knife again. "And because she's with freaking Katie."
Clay moved to the island in the centre of the kitchen and started sifting through the vegetables in the basket. "Did you ever stop to wonder why she's with Katie? Did Ashley ever feel the same for you?" he asked, picking up a red pepper and sniffing the top.
I fidgeted with my fingers, picking at the skin around my thumb. "I thought she did. I mean, she flirted and stuff. But then I saw her making out with Katie the first time." I dropped my hand in frustration and crossed my arms. "She's toying with me. She draws me in, then turns away at the last moment."
Clay set the pepper aside and grabbed a cucumber. "Do you think that that was how she felt? And that Katie was the only option?" He gave me a look from the corner of his eye and picked up the pepper.
I turned it in my hands and thought for a moment. I had gone along with it for a while. I mean, I never acted on it, and I was with Aiden, I could see why she thought Katie was the only other option.
"So I need to get rid of Katie." I said out loud. Dropping the pepper to the floor and rushing out of the kitchen.
Clay, surprised, put the cucumber back on the table and walked after me. "Spencer! That's not what I meant!" he yelled after me.
I grabbed the car keys and opened the door, ignoring Clay coming after me. I opened the car door and stuck the keys in the ignition.
Clay opened the door as I put the car in reverse. "Spencer, you can't just go after Katie. She isn't going to give up Ashley just because you asked." He gave me a look, and I started to feel bad.
Of course she wouldn't just give up Ashley just because I asked he too. She would realise that Ashley was something worth holding on to. Which is why I needed to change her mind. Or change Ashley's mind.
I grabbed the door handle and shut the car door, leaving Clay stunned in the driveway. I backed out and started to head in the direction of Ashley's house. Ashley used to live in a big mansion. Like, it was huge, and gorgeous. Her dad was a rock star, dead from drug overuse. Her mum a gambler after his death. It was sad to see them stripped of the good life. The only thing Ashley really has left is Kyla and their trust funds.
I turned onto her road and spotted Katie walking down the pavement, unaware that my car was slowly creeping by. She looked up and saw me through the window and gave me a nasty smile. I opened my door and walked over to her.
"Katie!"
She stopped on the pavement next to my car and rolled her eyes. "Yes, Spencer? Did I miss cheer practice again because I was kissing a girl? Are you going to kick me off the team because I'm gay now?" She hissed, dropping her knapsack on the ground.
I paused, confused. "Why would I do that?" I asked.
She rolled her shoulders and shook her head. She chuckled. "See, this is what I don't get, Spencer. When I chased you, you burned me. Repeatedly. On the grounds of homophobia. I've been waiting for you to jump on me, kick me off because of my perversion." She practically spit the words at me, she was so disgusted.
"Your so hypocritical, because I can see the want in your eyes when you look at her. Your not gay, because you can't be, but you want Ashley. Your going to have to suffer, Spencer, because I know you have no chance. She's done with you." She gave me a smug look and reached down to pick up her bag.
I walked closer and tilted my head, curious. "How do you know she's done with me?" I didn't think that Ashley was completely through with me. Part of me was still hanging on to that last glance that Ashley had given me. Katie was just trying to rile me up, but she could just as easily be telling me the truth.
"Because you don't want her like she wants you, and she knows that. So she gave up. She's with me. And there's nothing a god-botherer like you can do about it." Katie turned around with a nasty look on her face and started to walk away.
Seriously, this girl was starting to get on my nerves. She was so self-righteous and rude. I walked up and spun her around. "First off, don't make decisions for Ashley. Second, there is nothing wrong with being a fucking god-botherer." I pulled my arm back and nailed her in the face.
Katie sunk to the ground, clutching her nose. I shook my hand, knuckles starting to throb. I never thought that it would hurt to punch someone in the nose. It kinda felt like I hit a wall. I walked back to my car and started back up the wall, leaving Katie on the pavement, blood dripping down from her nose. It wasn't really necessary for me to have hit her, but it felt great. Not as great as cutting her head off would have been, but definitely satisfactory. [Frank cuts in: Actually I wasn't very satisfied. It was way too easy. Symph: Frank. Stop interrupting the story. Frank: Sorry. But still DX]
I pulled up to Ashley's house and pulled up into her driveway. It was similar to mine, a simple two story modern suburban home, complete with a porch and a few shrubbery in the front. A small path lead from the driveway and the pavement, carefully costructed out of cobblestone. I walked up to the front door and rang her door bell.
A few seconds later, the door opened, and a surprised Ashley greeted me with a quiet "Oh."
I gave her a small wave and stood awkwardly on the porch. I didn't plan this far ahead. I didn't even expect to make it as far as I did.
Ashley cleared her throat and moved aside, motioning for me to come in. "Um, hey Spencer." I walked in and stood in her front room silently, looking at the furniture and portraits. "Did you give up on my locker and decide to come to my house?" She asked.
I shook my head. "Honestly, no. I actually came to get something off my chest, but now I'm beginning to think this was a really bad idea." I said, turning to face her, unsure.
Ashley bit her lip and placed her hand on a table next to the door. "Well your here now. I can't really imagine anything bad happening." She cocked a eyebrow and looked at me, expression coy.
I folding my hands behind me, trying to make up a plan quickly in my head. "Yeah well one of us is going to get hurt."
Ashley walked up to me, parking herself right in front of me, staring at me in the face. "Spencer. Stop playing games. What is this really about. What are we doing?" I looked down at the floor, and Ashley followed my gaze, leaning down to catch my eye. "What is it?"
I looked up and ran a hand through my hair. I looked to the side. I was too hard to really look at her. "Ashley, I'm..." I paused, the words lodging themselves in my throat. I scratched nervously at my arm, trying to catch the courage to just spit it out.
"Spencer, for Peter's Sake, spit it out." She said. She tried to sound irritated, but I knew that she was just as anxious as I was, almost like she really wanted to hear what I was going to say. Like she knew.
"Ashley, I think I'm starting to..." I found myself once again trying to say it, but I knew that if I said it, then it would be true, that I'd be going against everything that I believe, that I was finally accepting the unacceptable.
"Ashley I really like you, and more than I'd like to."
She looked confused at first, then her look turned conflicted. She looked away, suddenly looking upset. She put a hand over her mouth.
I started to freak out, and I rushed to clarify. "I can't help how I feel. I can't stop thinking about you. I want to kiss you, but I can't stop myself from running away. I've tried pretending that I can't feel it, tried to lie to myself." I stared at her, but she continued to look away, and I found myself more determined to get her to look back.
"I know that you feel this too, and I know that you want me too. But your always confusing me, and I don't know what to do. I'm giving up everything I believe in for this, but you need to look at me and see what I'm telling you, Ash. Please?" I moved closer and raised my hand to her cheek. I turned her face slowly and she closed her eyes, shut from me.
"Ashley, I'm done running. But why are you? Why are you shielding yourself from me with Katie? Why can't you just love me like you want to?"
Ashley sniffed, and I thought for a second that she was going to start crying and I started to lower her hand, but her hand caught mine, trapping it against her face. She opened her eyes and stared into mine, her liquid brown eyes filled with emotions, thoughts, and regret. I felt myself lean into her, and her leaning into mine. I closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of Ashley.
She touched her forehead to mine and opened her mouth to speak. "You were right when you said that someone was going to get hurt, Spence." she whispered painfully. It was like it hurt her to say it, and it wrenched my heart. I went to pull away, but she leaned forward faster than I could pull away, and I felt our lips connect.
I froze, shocked. The moment I had imagined, but never thought would happen, just happened. It felt different then the times I've kissed Aiden. His lips were chapped, rough, but Ashley's... Her lips were warm against mine, soft, and it felt like they melted into mine perfectly. I found myself gasping in shock. Ashley, as if suddenly coming to her senses, jerked back and stepped away from me, a finger touching her lips. I licked mine, tasting the ghost of her lips, a soft vanilla of the clear gloss she uses. "So that you can kiss someone, and not leave a trace" I heard her say to someone once.
She opened her mouth to say something, but the doorbell cut her off. She closed her eyes and stayed still, mouth moving as she silently cursed. It rang again, and again as if the ringer was in a hurry and she turned around.
I watched as she opened the door, and a tall man, with dark wavy hair stepped inside. "Ashley? Right? And Kyla. My name is Jeff Davies. And I think you two owe me something." He growled, moving forward and forcing Ashley to back up next to me.
"I'm not..." I started, but Ashley cut me off.
"Kyla, I don't think now is a good time to interrupt Jeff," she said, voice quivering. She looked frightened, and I was pretty sure that she had no idea who this guy was. And if he was some axe-murderer, it's best if the real Kyla was still alive. Then a thought occurred to me.
"Wait, did you say Davies?" I questioned cautiously.
He grinned, large teeth a bright white. "Yes. Jeff Davies. The brother your father clearly never mentioned. And I think your father, and you, owe me big time."
A/N Post-Story: See! I'm happy, because now the story is getting ready to escalate. And we are now guaranteed more Spashley time, and a few unexpected turns, and people (which may be confusing, but oh well! That's the game XD) Prepare yourself mortals.
Also, Shorts will not always be about destroying Katie. Some might actually be relevant to the story, Like to clarify an element or might even hint on the story coming after this (which is a Skins story, for fans of it).
