A/N: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR its CHARACTERS, BUT IF GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY I CAN'T SAY THAT I WOULDN'T HOLD A COUPLE OF THE MEN HOSTAGE! ;)

SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY IN UPDATING. MY LAP TOP DIED SO I'M NOW SHARING WITH MY HUSBAND AND I ALSO TEND TO WAIT FOR SOME SORT OF EPIPHANY OR INSPIRATION TO STRIKE INSTEAD OF JUST TRYING TO FORCE A CHAPTER OUT. BUT I WILL TRY TO GET CHAPTERS OUT A LITTLE CLOSER TOGETHER. I APOLOGIZE.

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS. IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME, TO READ THE KIND WORDS THAT YOU SEND ME. IT LETS ME KNOW IM DOING ATLEAST AN OKAY JOB. KEEP 'EM COMING!!!

I got home and collapsed onto the sofa. What was I doing? 24 hours ago I had decided that I was going to attempt to reclaim my "balls to the wall" persona, but where did that get me? I know where. I wanted to crawl under a rock and disappear. Let's recap today shall we:

First I decided that I was going to, in a smart assed way, let the Cullen's know that I was aware of what they were, and that I to was immortal. Which seemed to piss off some members of the "family". (That sounds kind of mobbish doesn't it? The family.)

Secondly, I got into a somewhat epic stare down with a vampire that was referred to "God of War" which, to me, was funny. Even if no one else got the joke.

Third, I find out that some of the Cullen's are gifted. Jasper has now felt my attraction, but I don't know if he can tell if it's for him or not, and Edward got a glimpse into my head when I was thinking about Jasper.

Fourth. For the first time in this century I was once again the butt end of humor because of my blush. I wish I had power over it. How stupid is it to be immortal, lived longer than vampires have existed and be made fun of for blushing? STUPID!

Fifth, which is finally something on a good note, I seem to be becoming friends with Edward. It's nice to make friends, ones that I don't have to be completely closed off to. Friends that I could share with, the things I have seen in my long existence, without scaring the crap out of them. Some things though, are too disturbing to share, even with vampires.

And last but not least, I am attracted to Jasper! It has been a long, long time since I have felt anything other than friendship towards anyone. But for all I know he may have a mate, which would really suck. No pun intended.

All this thinking and reflecting must have taken awhile. I chance a glance outside to find that it is late evening and clock on my wall confirms that its 8:45. I'm hungry and make myself a Greek salad. I know what you're thinking. Greek salad, Greek Goddess….. But can I help it if the mixture of spinach, tomatoes, cucumbers, feta cheese and olive oil call to me? Don't knock it until you try it!

After I finish my salad, pack the rest for lunch tomorrow and clean the kitchen I go back to thinking about Jasper. He has an air about him, and a look in his eyes. Like he has seen so much. A look much like the one I wear. We've seen too much, so much more than others around us, and the others would never understand. I can't help but to wonder what his story is. Maybe someday we can share our stories with each other, after we have formed some sort of relationship.

I won't lie. I'm lonely. Everyone, human or mythological searches for that someone to share their version of forever with. I would give my immortality for it, to share a bond so great with another. But sometimes I can't help but wonder if maybe it isn't for me to find that in this life. Baby steps. Hell, I don't even know if he is single, I don't even know him. Sure he is easy on the eyes, but that doesn't make us compatible. I guess only time will tell.

I'm emotionally exhausted and my brain feels like jello. Emotionally exhausted…. That reminds me of a line from M.A.S.H. "Emotionally exhausted and morally bankrupt" I change into a t-shirt and pajama pants and climb into bed. I write about the things that have happened since school has started in my journal. It's relaxing, and sometimes writing things out just helps. Puts them into perspective. When all is said and done I still get a solid nights rest before my alarm goes off and it's time to once again to face the hell that is Forks' High School.

I pull up, climb out and take a glance around the parking lot and notice that the Cullen's don't seem to be here yet. I decide to wait a couple of minutes to see if they show up and it doesn't really take more than two minutes before the familiar shiny Volvo pulls into next to me. I wonder if it's a tight fit for the five of them to squeeze in there and how unfortunate for Alice that she seems to be stuck in the back seat while her mate drives, not to mention that Rosalie and Emmett have the small pixie between them. It's like a group of graceful clowns crawling out of a clown car. Jasper seems like he is unfolding his legs as he climbs out of the passenger seat. I wonder if he rides motorcycles. I'll have to ask, and if he hasn't really tried I can offer mine. Nothing special, just a red and silver BMW HP2 megamoto.

I walk around my car to the Volvo and am greeted with a chorus of "hey Bella's'" and we head towards the school and our classes.

The first part of the day passed quietly, just creepy, stalker like staring from Mike and the continuous dirty looks of every girl around me but nothing major. Soon enough its lunch and I head to the now familiar table to sit with the Cullen's, who are all present and seem to be waiting for me this time. I plop down and pull out my salad and sit back. Lunch time is an unpaid break, think about it. Classes, unpaid lunch/break, classes, homework, sleep and then you start it all over again. Too bad you can't get paid for going to high school. Think about what that income would add up to if you were like me. Why would I ever need a job?

I look up as I start eating my salad and Alice is looking up at Edward as she curls into his side and he's nodding, a silent conversation seems to be taking place. The look happy and content together, two pieces of the same puzzle. It must be nice. Emmett and Rosalie appear much the same way as I look at them. Emmett catches my eye and a small mischievous smile forms and he winks at me and all I can do is shudder. Who knows what that look means but I can't help to fear it a little.

As if sensing my fear Jasper turns towards me "are you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, Emmett just gave me a creepy smile, that's all."

"Be careful, he's feeling mischievous for some reason."

"I figured as much" I respond and start eating my salad again while keeping an eye on Emmett.

While watching Emmett I'm broken out of my gaze by Rosalie, maybe she doesn't have as big of a problem with me as I thought she did.

"So Bella, can you tell us about yourself?" she asks.

I swallow and look at her for a moment "um, I guess so. What do you want to know exactly?"

"Anything really, we don't know much about you. Where are you from?" she says.

"What makes you immortal? "Comes from Edward.

"How long have you existed?" Asks Jasper

And Alice just sits back and smiles at me. There is something up with her, and I'm going to find out what it is…

"Okay. Okay, one at a time, please. I'm from Greece. As for what makes me immortal, I was born this way, I guess you could say." Born works right? I was created or born, however you choose to look at it.

"How old are you?" Jasper must really be hung up on age or something. That whole "balls to the wall" thing coming back to play and I say, straight faced and completely serious "Old enough that compared to you I am a cougar and you are the prepubescent, pimpled face high school boy."

"So you could be my sugar momma?" Emmett. Enough said.

I turn towards Emmett, I can play his game. Sultry smirk on my face, raised eye brow and I lean forward across the table towards him. "Baby boy I could show you things that have been outlawed for centuries, all you have to do is ask."

Emmett is speechless, mouth hanging wide open. Rosalie reaches over, places her fingers under his chin and helps him to close his mouth.

Alice is giggling while clinging on to the arm of a quietly laughing Edward.

"I think I like her." Rosalie says to no one in particular. I smile at her and offer my thanks.

"If you like her, can we bring her home? I can be an eager student." Emmett asks, which Rosalie answers with a smack to the back of his head.

"You can't handle me Emmett, trust me."

The entire time Jasper has been quiet through the entire exchange. I wonder what's going through that mind of his. I turn to look up at him and he's just quietly looking at me. It looks like he's trying to find something; like I'm hiding a secret and he would be able to figure it out by looking into my eyes.

"Does that answer your question Jasper?" I ask him quietly. He continues to look straight into my eyes.

"I was kind of looking for a number, but I realize that that is sort of rude of me to ask." He says sheepishly.

"Does it matter? I'm older than you." I respond, as we carry on our quiet conversation.

"How do you know you are older than us? Do you know how old we are? I could just look really good for my age." Emmett exclaims. Always curious.

It's obvious that Emmett and Jasper aren't the only ones who are looking for a number, and I realize that I am going to have to tell them more than I was really wanted to right now. I hope Jasper can feel how conflicted I am about this, that I'm willing to give into their request if it means that they would trust me and that we can possibly be friends.

"Before I tell you how old I am can you tell me how old all of you are? It's only fair." It's a simple request and they all comply. These guys are all children compared to the vampires I have known.

"I don't know how old I am." It's true. I have been since the beginning of time as far as I know. People didn't even count years. Jasper raises an eyebrow at me; he's still looking down at me, searching for who knows what. I hope he can feel the honesty behind my words and how uncomfortable this is for me.

"How do you not know how old you are? That's ludicrous. Everyone, every being must know how old they are."

"Rosalie, she's telling the truth." Jasper says softly, eyes never leaving mine. I offer a small smile in thanks.

"But that doesn't make any sense." Now Edward is showing his curiosity. I'm shifting in my seat, I'm so uncomfortable. What if they don't want to talk to me after this? Things were going good, until all of this age business came up.

"If you're uncomfortable Bella then you don't have to answer." Jasper whispers.

"Its okay" He nods slightly. There is some emotion in his eyes that I can't put my finger on. Does he find me attractive like I do him? Is he interested? He probably won't be after this.

"I am older than all of you, in fact I am older that all of you combined. I was created in a time when years were not kept track of yet and vampires didn't exist yet." I whisper. I know they can all hear me and I notice that they all visibly stiffen. Its' a freaky thing, I get that. But it just adds to my discomfort. I can't take their rejection and disgust. I gather up my things and stand to leave. This is the second day in a row that I am walking away from them.

"I'm sorry." I'm not entirely sure what I'm apologizing for. Maybe for being old? For being a freak even amongst the immortal community? For disgusting them? I'm not sure but I need to get out of here. I need to go home.

"I'll come by and pick you up at 9am tomorrow morning. I've got your address. If that doesn't work let me know." They are all looking at me with large eyes and seemed to be confused as I turn and walk away. I was hoping today would be better but that doesn't seem to be working out so well now does it?!

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I am going to find out what the deal is with Alice.