Disclaimer: all i own is my sad lil charectors here...
I continued to cry on the porch until I could summon enough control to walk inside. I don't know how long I was there but it had been too long. I got up from my sitting position and slowly made into my home. I shook slightly and opened the door to my house. I new wave of despair crashed through me when I heard my parents yelling upstairs. My own sobs must have drowned out the sound while I was outside.
"Nothing is wrong with her! You can not and will not do this to her!" my mothered screamed at my father.
"It's not natural! Girls are for boys and boys are for girls! We can't just sit around and let her continue these disgusting fantasies!" They were talking about me. My mom found out. And she wasn't mad at me, she was mad at him. She was going to stop him! I could apologize to Vikki and everything would be okay! I wiped the tears from my eyes and lifted my head high, refueled by new hope.
"That's it! I'm going to go find her right now and you're leaving!" My mom started running downstairs and I went to meet her.
"Fine! Good! I don't want to live with a fucking dyke anyway!" my father screamed after her. My mother turned around to yell back but she stopped. I assume she had heard me coming.
"Mom?" I called out to her softly. She turned around and came towards me with open arms. We met at the bottom of the stairs and she gave me the most comforting hug I had had in the longest time. It felt as if nothing bad had ever happened and nothing bad ever would happen. She apologized profusely for my father and said he was out of line and that nothing was wrong with how I felt. We heard thundering footsteps above us and we broke apart. My father was standing above us at the top of the stairs. He was visibly shaking and the vein in his forehead was pulsing. Just the sight of him turned my blood cold. It was something out of a nightmare.
He stomped down the stairs and with giant, loping steps, left the house, slamming the door hard enough to knock down several pictures. I look back at my mom and she wipes the fresh tears from my cheeks.
"Oh, baby." She says softly as she pulls me in for another hug. She leads me to the living room and we sit on the couch and I tell her everything. She never showed one sign of anger or disgust. She nodded and listened to every word I said, comforting me when tears broke through again. When I was finished and there was nothing left to say about my feelings, or my father, or Vikki, she held me. I felt like I was a little kid again. I got hurt, but it's okay because my mommy is here to make it all better.
We sat on that couch for hours, simply enjoying the comfort we gave each other. Or it could have been minutes but soon I knew I had to call Vikki. I stood up and looked down at my mom.
"Call her." She told me and smiled calmly. I returned the smile and looked for the phone. I picked it up off it its receiver and a memory caught me by surprise. My dream last night. My heart quickened as I dialed her cell phone number. It rings several times and my imagination creates a million dreadful reasons as to why she hasn't answered.
"Hello?" The relief I felt from the fact that she was okay was quickly over shadowed by a new set of emotions her tone gave me. It was hoarse, like she had been crying for hours. She sounded so pained it hurt me.
"Vikki!"
"Rach?" She sounded so unsure. Like I was the last person she would have expected to call her. I suppose I'm a better actor than I thought. But the amusing thought was replaced by a tremendous guilt that washed over me.
"Vikki oh my gosh I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it! Please forgive me I swear I didn't mean anything I said! I'm so sorry! I'm s-sorry." My voice broke and I was surprised as new tears made tracks down my cheeks. I had thought there was none left.
"Just stop Rachel. Its okay, I get it. You hate me. It's fine. I always knew you would hate me in the end so just forget about me." She was so calm. Like she had given up. I was way too hard on her. The Plan worked to well. How could she possibly believe I hated her? I would just have to tell her how I really feel. But something wasn't right. What did she mean 'in the end?' she couldn't possibly be thinking what I thought she might have been.
"In the end? Vikki what are you talking about?"
"I'm done Rach. I'm giving up." Giving up? Giving what up? I thought for a moment. Oh. My. God. She was going to kill herself. I began to hyperventilate.
"No…Vikki you can't! Please, p-please don't!" I was desperate. My nerves were shot from such a hard day. I looked back to the couch for my mom and she wasn't there. She must have gone upstairs.
"Why Rachel? Why can't I? What difference does it make? What does anyone care?!"
"I care Vikki! Please don't, for me!" I was begging. Sobs had begun to break free from my throat at the possibility of losing her.
"Give me one good reason. One good reason why I shouldn't just do it right now. Why I shouldn't just slit my wrists or stab myself. Why not Rachel?" I wanted to scream at her 'because I love you, you idiot!' but revealing my feelings over the phone didn't seem right. And she may not believe me.
"I'll give you one. Just not right now. Come over to my house and I'll show you." I needed her here. Now that my mom knew and my dad was gone for now at least I could be true to her.
"Why can't you just tell me? How do I know that you even have one? Why should I trust you? Not even an hour ago you hated me so why should I believe you?" I couldn't believe her logic. It didn't make any sense and she was completely wrong about the time.
"It's too important. You have to believe me. Even if I did hate you why would I try to stop you right now? Please just come over so I can show you in person." Both of us had started to calm down and felt a bit more normal.
"Okay, just hold on while I get down." I silently thanked God and let out a sigh of relief. Her curious side outweighed her suicidal, illogical one. But where was she that she needed to get down?
"Get down? Vikki, where are you?"
"Uh, I'm on the roof. I wanted some privacy."
"Ohh, Vikki…" I felt guilt to the very of heart of my soul and wished she was here so I could reach out to her.
"I know, I know, just hold on." Both of our voices were back to normal. But I thought of her on the slippery shingles and that rusted old fence below and I got chills.
"Okay, but be careful."
"Dude, chill. I'm not gonna fall."
"Alright, alright. Just hurry okay?" I was getting antsy. Whether it was because of the thought of her falling or knowing that I was going to tell her I loved her, I don't know.
"Yeah."
Then, my worst nightmare had come true. Vikki shrieked and I heard scraping that sounded like she was clawing for a handhold. The phone dropped to the ground and her screams became more distant. She screamed my name and I screamed for her as well. My heart seemed to be trying to jump out of my chest and panic over took me. I heard a terrible crack and thought once again of the fence bordering her apartment. Sheer terror overtook me as I realized what had happened. She had been impaled. My best friend and the love of my life had been impaled on a fucking fence. I screamed the words I wanted so badly for her to hear just three words. I love you. Then everything went quiet for a moment. I could hear the wind rustle leaves and I dropped the phone.
A/N: man, this one really made me cry...why must my masochistic mind come up with such sad things?
