From: Derek Christopher Shepherd
Department of Neurosurgery
Seattle Grace Hospital
Seattle, Washington, USA
To: Addison Forbes Montgomery
Oceanside Wellness
5th Floor, 600 Ocean Ave
Los Angeles, California, USA
Addison,
I need you to come to Seattle. I need you to. It's urgent. Forget about the stupid practice and the stupid co-op doctors who don't give a crap about your expertise. They don't know what they're missing. Come to Seattle right now. I'm serious. I feel like I'm on the edge of this huge cliff and if I don't have my arms wrapped around you in the next 24 hours, I may jump.
Meredith Grey and I broke up. We went to Palmilla; it was supposed to be our dream vacation. I planned it so carefully! I picked our hotel; I had French champagne delivered to our room… I fucking paid for the presidential suite, Addison!
We got there Friday night. She loved the room, she loved the spot and I was looking forward to spending the whole weekend in bed. But, as the weekend progressed, I found myself in the midst of too much talking and too little sex. No problem for me, I love talking to Meredith. But, all she could talk about was Mark! She was telling me that she thought I shouldn't have folded like that. She said I was a pushover for letting Mark take the crap out of me and then forgive him, she said he wasn't a friend and I should see that already… And the weekend went on. I was expecting to have the perfect weekend with the woman I love and all I got was crap and drama.
Around Sunday afternoon, she got the guts to tell me that she was getting more and more disappointed at me. She said I changed since you left. She said that in the short period of two and a half weeks you've been in L.A., I've already have the time to become a pushover who doesn't give a crap if people mess with me. She said that, in contrast to my "old" strong personality, I'm now this weak guy. And worst of it all: She said I'm still in love with you and that she's not ready to be with someone like me.
Can you believe it, Addie? Can you fucking believe it? Because it took me a while to believe I was actually hearing those words. Coming from the woman I love!
You know what I think sometimes, Addie? I think that you and Mark were right to call Meredith the twelve-year-old. Sometimes I feel like she is so immature and comes with such a heavy and underdeveloped emotional baggage that I'm not in shape to bear! I've been with a girl for so long, that she is making me a boy. I need to be with a woman, Addie. I need to be a man again.
So, come to Seattle. Just do it. Don't be afraid. I'm willing to pick up where we left off. And, maybe, we were meant to be from the start. Maybe Mere was the rock in our way. Maybe the Addison and Derek chapter of my life didn't end after all.
Waiting for you,
Derek C. Shepherd.
From: Mark Sloan
Department of Plastic Surgery
Seattle Grace Hospital
Seattle, Washington, USA
To: Addison Forbes Montgomery
Oceanside Wellness
5th Floor, 600 Ocean Ave
Los Angeles, California, USA
Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd,
You know I was never very good at writing, but if this is how you wanna play the game, this is how the game is gonna be played. I'm writing this letter to ask you to come to Seattle as soon as you can. I'm not asking you to move here, just get on a plane and come to Seattle.
We need to talk. And we need to talk in a non-voicemail and non-letter way. I need to see you again. I need to be blinded by the redness of your hair and the greenness of your eyes again. I need to smell you again, I need to feel you again, right here. Close to me.
Seriously, Addie. I said things and you said things that we can't take back. And we can't ignore. Were you just gonna pretend that I didn't say I love you to your face just now? You know me, Addison. You know it took a lot for me to get the courage to tell you. Asking me to come to LA, is that an "I love you too"? Or is it "I don't love you, come to LA so I can slap you in the face"? Stop giving me mixed signals!
What I need you to know is: I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you! And I will always love you. Whether you choose to come to LA or you don't, I'll still love you. I'll love you with you near me or with you far from me.
So, what I'm asking you here is to put an end to my misery. Let me love you near. Because if a decade with Derek didn't make me stop loving you, it won't be miserable eight hundred miles that will.
With love,
Mark
P.S. By the way, Red, I've slept with like three nurses since you left. None of them compares to you in bed. You're like a sex queen! Come to Seattle!
