Thanks again, glad my blurring of the lines hasn't put you off, this one is definitely across the line but still very much in the realm of fiction although based loosely on some facts gleaned from interviews, rather than the show. No disrespect is intended, nor do I claim to be privy to any of this; it's just as made up as the rest of my stuff. Hope you're all still laughing - do let me know.


CROSSED LINES

SCENE 6 EXT: OFF SET - FILM PEOPLE BUSILY MOVING ABOUT – 1.57

Cut to: WHITE OUT Bright sunlight, we can't see anything. Gradually the scene appears; we are made aware first of the bright sunlight, then the colourful clothes worn by the rest of the crew. It is a stark contrast to the muted colours and gloomy internal scenes. The catering truck comes into view, boom operators, cameramen etc. moving about. External noises, birdsong, shouts between the people.

CUT TO: TOM and EMILIA as they walk away from the set doors. Their clothes seem dull and unsuitable to the late autumn sunshine. They walk separately, more distance between them than we are used to on set.

TOM

You going to be alright?

EMILIA

'Spect so.

A beat.

Do you want some lunch?

TOM

What the only day,

You can genuinely leave

early and now you want to stay?

EMILIA

Well?

HARRY checks his watch and shifts his weight between his feet.

EMILIA

I know, if you leave now,

there's a chance you'll make

school pick up.

Go on. Go!

You big softee!

TOM

You don't mind?

EMILIA

Of course not.

TOM (eyes lighting up)

Jack's in a match,

I'll catch the end for once.

Oh that reminds me,

I've got a car full of kiddiecrap

for you.

NIKKI

I beg your pardon?

TOM

Kiddie- oh you know STUFF.

A couple of boxes of long

haired plastic ponies, and

overpriced furry forest

families. There's

a couple of dresses

and other clothes too;

if you want them?

EMILIA

And you're not taking it

to the dump?

TOM (interrupting and incredulous)

NO! Tabitha is on

some eco-warrior school

committee, everything gets

recycled in our house.

NIKKI

Glad to hear it

HARRY

…and they've

all seen Toy Story 3 too

many times. Besides

Tabitha wanted Rose to have them.

EMILIA

Tell her thanks.

TOM

You should both

come down for the weekend.

Get out of London for a bit.

EMILIA

We'd like that,

Now go on go; or you'll

get told off by the teacher.

TOM

Wouldn't be the first time.

Do you think she'd give me lines?

EMILIA

Even if she did,

it's not like you'd take any notice.

TOM

(laughs and pulls at his hair

in a HARRY like gesture.)

Harsh, but fair.

EMILIA

You parked in your usual space?

TOM nods.

EMILIA (Cont'd)

I'll bring mine over.

She turns to leave.

CUT TO: TOM is standing at the boot of his car; he is trying to shield the contents of the boot with his body. The boot is open and there is obviously a plethora of pink storage boxes crammed in the back along with a variety of different sized wellies, riding boots, child sized musical instruments and a box overflowing with old scripts.

EMILIA

So when you said a 'few…'

TOM

I lied.

EMILIA

Would it matter if I

took them straight to the dump?

HARRY opens his mouth incredulously again, but he realises she is joking.

TOM

You could at least take

it to a charity shop the envir…

EMILIA

You can spare me the environmental speech.

TOM

Oh yeah, er sorry.

I guess Tabitha's

speeches rubbed off on me.

I can't think where

she got all those statistics from.

NIKKI looks pointedly at her feet.

TOM (Cont'd suddenly knowingly)

Oh!

TOM starts loading the storage tubs into her boot, bits of pink Duplo scatter over the car park.

TOM (Cont'd again)

Sorry

He stoops down and collects the bits of plastic and scoops them into the back. Her boot is now crammed, as is the back seat as the baby stroller was still in the boot. HARRY looks up a serious expression on his face.

TOM (Cont'd again)

No really, I'm sorry.

EMILIA

It's ok. We're happy.

TOM

I'm glad.

EMILIA

Bye then.

TOM

Bye.

They kiss continental fashion on both cheeks.

CUT TO: camera pans back, we watch them walk around to climb into their respective cars calling across to each other louder and louder as they get further and further away from each other.

EMILIA

I'll send you a picture

of Rose playing with a pony.

TOM

Thanks, Tabs'll love it.

EMILIA

Love to Emily and the kids.

TOM

And to Rose.

A beat

TOM

You're not still

pounding the streets in

your pyjama's?

NIKKI

No; she's sleeping much

better now thanks.

HARRY

And don't lose any more weight!

EMILIA

And don't forget to keep dyeing your hair!

She runs her finger across the top of her cheek by her ear. TOM put's his hand up to his sideburns and ducks down to take a look in the car's wing mirror. He pops up again.

TOM

What?

EMILIA

Gotcha!

TOM laughs.

EMILIA

You know we're being watched.

TOM

We're always being watched.

She gestures up to the building behind her.

TOM looks up and see's WILLIAM watching them out of a window. TOM comes back around his car and stands next to EMILIA. He gives a finger wave up at the window.

EMILIA

At least he's smiling now.

TOM

That'll be The Joy of Life.

EMILIA

I thought he was depressed.

YOU said he was having a

mid-life crisis.

TOM

No not that.

A moment.

TOM

His painting.

EMILIA

I beg your pardon?

TOM

His new painting.

You didn't recognise it?

EMILIA

I don't know, Gauguin, Chagall?

TOM

Matisse: Le Bonheur de Vivre

A beat and he translates for her.

TOM (Cont'd)

The Joy of Life.

EMILIA (pointedly and impeccably pronounced)

Merci bien

Have I told you recently

you are a very sad man?

TOM

About five minutes ago,

I think.

EMILIA laughs, a full bellied, face crinkled laugh. TOM looks on triumphantly at a job well done. He takes advantage of her being distracted looks up at the window, waves again and taps her on the cheek, just as he did earlier. Then quickly runs round and jumps into his car, locking the doors ostentatiously. She laughs again.

EMILIA

I'll get you next time.

TOM

You can try.

EMILIA

Go on get out of here.

You'll miss the match!

CUT TO: TOM's car driving out of the car park. EMILIA still stood by her's laughing.