Disclaimer-All Characters unless posted otherwise are Stephenie Meyer's and NOT mine, No matter how much I wish I owned them. Apologies for all spelling, grammatical, and any other errors that have occurred.

A/N: I'm gonna speed this up just a few weeks, to approx. the middle of June.

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I woke up one morning to a giddy spiky haired vampire bouncing on my bed. I tried to ignore Alice and wondered if horse tranquilizers would have any effect on her what so ever. If there was even the slightest chance then I would be talking to Carlisle immediately.

Edward only pulled me closer, encouraging me to ignore her. I knew she wouldn't give up until I acknowledged her existence. Grudgingly, I sat up in bed, and eyed Alice with a violent air.

"O.k Alice,I'll bite. What is it, dear sister-to-be, that you want at," I looked at the clock, which read "9:23 am.?" I couldn't help being grumpy, I had had nightmares all night long and had only received about five hours of sleep.

Alice beamed, playing up her innocent side. Oh she had one, but it was smaller then a pinhead.

"Today, Bella darling, we are going to plan your bridal shower, which is going to be thrown for you at the end of this month." I groaned at this, and flopped back into my previous position under the covers.

"Alice, I trust you entirely with this. Go ahead, It's really too early for me to deal with this wedding stuff." I said, hoping that I didn't hurt her feelings.

"Well of course I'll be doing most of the planning," She said in a matter-of-factly tone, "I only need you opinion on a few small things. Guest list, and for you to go with me to Seattle to register for your wedding gifts. Or at least to tell me what you want." She said, figuring that the less I had to do with it the happier I would be.

"O.k one, I trust you to invite all the right people. And two, I don't need anything; Edward and I are staying with you guys. We don't want to leave your family. Not now, anyways. If you go overboard we might have to reconsider." I said, looking at Edward who had been strangely quiet. He smiled at me, and nodded in what I assumed was approval.

"Oh come on Bella, can you just please play along? Besides, I think you and Edward should get your own house..." Alice said strangely. Too strangely.

I had no recollection of Alice ever saying that she wished Edward and I would leave and get our own house and live our own life. If anything, she had communicated the opposite. I think she would have loved nothing more then for us to stay with the rest of her family for...well eternity. So you understand why this comment seemed so strange to me.

And it appeared to be strange to Edward to; he looked at me with confusion on his face. It was his turn to sit up and look at Alice. I sat up too, and Edward seemed to be regarding Alice like she was crazy.

"Alice... what did you d- and WHY are you trying to recite To Lucasta, Going to the wars in Slovakian?" He asked, and silence was Alice's only response. "Answer me now Alice, what did you do?"

Alice's expression changed from beaming to sadness and sheepish at the same time.

"Edward, I just want you to be happy. You should be able to live the life you want, and not worry about something like this. We're not going to be offended if you go live with just Bella... And don't deny you've felt that way, Jasper is NOT an idiot." She said, giving him an indignant glare. Edward had the grace to look embarrassed.

"Edward, we can always work something out. Like, separate lives with lots of visits for 50 years, and then all of us living together for 50 years. No one is going to make you choose between your family and your love." Alice finished, looking exasperated that Edward could even be thinking something like that.

"Edward,"I started, turning to look at him. When he didn't look at me, I took his face in my hands and turned his head towards me. "Have you really been feeling this way? Edward? I need to know." I said, as I searched his eyes.

What good was being immortal and married to the love of your existence when he couldn't communicate the simple things? From what I had seen from the dismal relationships at school, they all started to crumble the moment one person stopped sharing. When you think about it, communication is, well pretty much one of the most important things in a relationship. Think about it, if something was wrong, much like it was now, if you didn't communicate, how could the other person try to fix it? This scared me in ways that I didn't want to think about. I had just gotten used to the fact that Edward wasn't going to leave, that he would make me immortal, and that he wanted to marry me of all people. And now there were deep things going on in his head that he didn't want to tell me.

I stared at him, waiting for him to reply.

"Alice," He started,"Can you give Bella and I some privacy? Please? Don't go far just...wait." Edward asked, looking at her.

Alice didn't say anything as she slid gracefully off of my bed and went to the window.

I could have sworn Alice said "God Edward you're a git." on her way out, but I'm not entirely sure.

Edward looked back to me. He sensed my escalating heart rate and put on a soothing smile.

"Bella relax. I'm sticking to my promise, I'm not going to leave you. Calm down. There are a few things..." he faltered, " Things that I haven't told you... Not bad things," He added in regards to my frightened expression, "Just... Feelings." He finished lamely. I waited, to see if he was going to share with me or not.

He sighed.

"O.k Bella. So maybe I want a life away from my family... but not like that. Never like how it sounds. I don't want them gone, forever. I suppose this is rather selfish, but I have been thinking for a while that maybe it might be nice to... to live on our own for a while. You know, like a real married couple would. It would seem that I want you all to myself, but it's not true. And it's the same vice versa, I'm not trying to keep my family all to myself. Everyone pretty much considers you family anyways, so that's kind of silly. Oh, I don't know Bella," He said, now beginning to get exasperated with him self for thinking these things, "I just want to have a... life. How ironic. The vampire wants a life," He added bitterly "I don't know if you've been able to understand any of my babbling, but mostly what it boils down to is that I just want to share my life with you... and only you for a while. So we can have time together, with out six other vampires around and no privacy what so ever. You know how Alice can be. Not for forever of course, I couldn't stand to leave my family permanently, and I don't think you could either." He sighed. "Do you understand any of that? Or does it just sound silly? I feel ridiculously selfish, but on the other hand I'm not so sure that I care." Edward said, smiling a little bit.

He waited. Now he was the one searching my eyes with his own. When the first traitorous tear slid down my cheek, and I saw Edward get that soft look in his eyes, I realized that he had described what I wanted. Only I hadn't known I had wanted it until he had said it. It was also then that I realized that he loved me more then I knew. Maybe even more then I deserved. Only Edward could love someone totally and irrevocably. What's more is that he was the only person whom I could love totally and irrevocably.

"Oh Edward. I understand. I really do." I said, and smiled, despite free flowing tears on my cheeks that dripped off of my chin and onto my bed sheets.

"Then... why are you crying love?" He asked, eyes frowning.

"Because I just realized that that is exactly what I want too. I love your family like they were my own...They are my own... But I need time to be with you... and only you. And only you could make me realize it. For the first time, I am actually getting really excited about marrying you, Edward." I said. Well that had come out kinda wrong.

Edward just laughed, and kissed me, knowing that I didn't mean it like that. After brushing my tears away and a few soothing words, He called Alice's name, and before I could count to two mississippi she was shutting the window behind her.

"Everything straightened out?" Alice asked, amusement all over her face.

"Yes." Edward said, pulling me closer, if that were possible. "So Alice, care to tell me what you did? Bella just had another love related epiphany, I'm less likely to be mad." He teased, and Alice bit her lip.

I sighed. Why was no one in this family EVER just straight forward?

"Alice, out with it, NOW." I said in a surprisingly authoritative tone. Edward's eye brows went up in surprise, but kept looking at her.

"O.k, well... I've been looking at houses. For you. After the wedding. Nothing in a big city, mostly along the coast in small woodsy towns... so hunting wont be a problem."

Edward snorted. "I'm surprise you haven't just started to build one."

"Well," Alice said, choosing to ignore Edward's last comment, "I think I've found it. If you want, after we finish wedding stuff Bella, we can go take a look at it, and see what you think..."Alice trailed off. "What do you say?" Alice asked, looking nervous.

I thought for a moment. Then I smiled. What the heck. What could be bad about that?

"I say lets get this stupid bridal shower planning done so I can see it." I said, Getting off the bed to go shower as Alice squealed in delight.

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Here's Lucasta for you, so you know what's in Alice's head.

To Lucasta, going to the Wars, By Richard Lovelace.

TELL me not, Sweet, I am unkind,

That from the nunnery

Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind

To war and arms I fly.

True, a new mistress now I chase,

The first foe in the field;

And with a stronger faith embrace

A sword, a horse, a shield.

Yet this inconstancy is such

As thou too shalt adore;

I could not love thee, Dear, so much,

Loved I not Honour more.

There you go, a nice long chapter.

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