A baby.
Maria wondered if there was a word to describe feeling ecstatic and terrified at the same time. She felt as if she were sliding backward into a tunnel as she processed the realization.
A baby.
Her hands instinctively moved to her lower belly. Only vaguely could she hear Liesl's voice calling her.
"Fraulein Maria? Fraulein! Are you all right? You're very pale." It wasn't until Liesl touched her arm that she turned to look at the young woman who had become her friend.
"What? Oh….I'm….yes, Liesl, I'm fine." She smiled weakly. "I've just got a sour stomach today, is all." Maria looked out at the lake, taking a count of the other children. "Would you mind if I went to get a cup of tea? I'm sure your brothers and sisters will be fine, but just in case…" her voice trailed off as Liesl responded.
"Yes, of course." She looked quizzically at her governess. "Would you rather I go get it for you?"
"Hmm? No, no thank you…." Maria rose, already lost again in her thoughts.
"Fraulein?"
Maria turned. "Yes?"
"I don't mean to pry, but….did Father say something in the letter to you? Is there reason to worry?" The words rushed out of the teen's mouth before she could stop them.
Goodness, these children are all far too observant, she thought. "How did you know he wrote a letter to me?"
"I saw you take it out, then put it right back into the envelope. I thought maybe it was something bad, that Father didn't want us to know," she admitted, sheepishly.
"No, Liesl, nothing like that. It was just a reminder for me, of something he'd asked of me. There's no need to worry." She hugged Liesl as she sat, then squeezed her shoulder. "Everything is fine. I'll be back in a few minutes."
Fortunately, it was that time in the afternoon when there were no servants in the kitchen. Maria waited for the water to boil for tea, took the letter from her pocket, and read it again. Several of the words jumped out at her. Proposal. Yes. Love. Mere minutes ago, she could hardly wait for Georg to come home, accept his proposal, tell him how much she loves him. Now, what she'd been afraid people would assume-he was marrying her because she was carrying his child-was true. Even if the two of them knew their intentions, no one would ever believe otherwise.
The whistle of the kettle broke into her thoughts. She set the tea in the pot to steep, then folded the letter and put it back into her pocket. Georg didn't know of her decision. Would he think she was only accepting his offer of marriage because she was expecting his baby? What would he say? How would he react? Did he even want more children?
Stop, she told herself, before her imagination completely ran away from her. She poured her tea and returned to the terrace, praying all the while that Georg would return quickly.
XxXxXx
Summer ended, and school began. There had been only one more telegram from Georg, indicating he was expecting to return by the end of September. Days that had been filled with lessons in the mornings and outings or games in the afternoons now were long and lonely propositions for the governess. Even though Gretl arrived home several hours earlier than her siblings, she was so tired from the morning at school that she would now fall asleep after lunch.
The solitude was something Maria didn't particularly enjoy, but she did put the time to good use. Most of her dresses were now far too tight across her growing breasts, and even though her abdomen remained taut and flat, the waistbands of her skirts wouldn't close. She sewed several full, pinafore style aprons to wear over them, to avoid questions from the children and the staff. It would keep her secret for a while, at least, until Georg returned home. Maria also began knitting items for the baby's layette, usually while Gretl was sleeping, as the soft click clack of the needles was far quieter than the mechanical sewing machine.
One rainy afternoon as Maria finished a tiny hat, she was surprised to hear a little voice behind her. "Fraulein, I'm lonely here all by myself."
"You're not by yourself, I'm here," Maria answered gently.
"It's not the same. I miss everyone when they are at school. I wish I wasn't the youngest."
The governess smiled at her. "Next year you'll be at school all day like them. It will come quicker than you think." The little girl looked around the room as if searching for something to do. Maria followed Gretl's eyes as they landed on her own lap.
"Oh, Fraulein, is that for mine and Marta's dolls? It is so pretty and tiny," Gretl exclaimed. "Marta would like it better if it were pink, but I think yellow is nicer," she added, after noticing the color of the yarn.
Maria was caught entirely off guard. "No, I...I mean, it is something I'm...ah….making for the…for the foundling hospital at the orphanage." She breathed a sigh of relief at her own quick thinking.
"What's a fountlink, Fraulein?" As Gretl moved to climb into her lap, Maria set down her knitting on the table beside the rocking chair, and pulled the girl into her arms.
"A foundling, sweetheart. Well, you see, sometimes a lady….has a baby, and can't take care of it properly…"
"Why not?"
"Oh, lots of different reasons I suppose…" Maria didn't offer any of them. "Anyway, the babies go to a special room at the orphanage, where they are cared for until a new family can be found for them."
She watched as the five-year-old processed the explanation. "I wish we could get a baby here. Then I wouldn't be the youngest anymore."
Maria hugged her and placed a kiss on her head, as Gretl rested against Maria's shoulder.
XxXxXx
Maria had tucked the children in for the night, and returned to her own room. After changing into her nightclothes, she took out a small calendar she'd taken from the nursery. Counting through the weeks told her she'd now missed three cycles. How she wished she had someone to confide in, ask questions, be reassured that everything would be all right. She missed her mother with an intensity that she hadn't felt in years. The only doctor she knew of was the one Georg trusted to care for the children; besides, she wasn't sick she was just pregnant.
A book. Somewhere in his vast library, Georg must have a book that would tell her something about what was going on in her body. A glance at the clock on her bedside table told her it was late enough that Franz had locked up the villa and no one would be awake. Not bothering with her robe, she crept barefoot down the back stairs to the study. Quickly finding a book with a section on maternity-this time, she was thankful for his military precision, at least as it applied to his bookshelves-she just as quietly snuck back up the heart skipped a beat when she reached the top of the staircase and turned the corner. There, in front of the now-open door to his suite, stood Georg.
She must have audibly gasped, for he turned, dropped his bag, and swept her into his arms. The book fell to the floor, forgotten, as she embraced him. Bag and book were left behind, as he pulled her inside and closed the door.
XxXxXx
No words were spoken, nothing needed to be said. Tears spilled from Maria's eyes, Georg kissed them away. Grasping and fumbling, clothing was unfastened and pushed aside without a care until they lay side by side, skin to skin. Georg began whispering to his love.
"I am so sorry, Maria," his voice was low and husky, as if he was afraid someone would hear. "I never meant to be gone for so long." He kissed and nipped at the sensitive skin at the hollow of her throat, as if daring her to respond.
"I missed you so much," she cried into his shoulder, her tears overwhelming them both.
"I'll never leave you again, if I can help it," he promised, his desire to make passionate love to her taking a backseat to the need to comfort and reassure her. For the moment, he simply held her close, allowing her the time needed for her emotions to spend themselves.
At last the heaving of her sobs slowed, her mouth meeting his, at first gentle and slow then more intensely as Georg slipped his tongue between her swollen, pink lips. As he made love to her mouth, his hand found her mound of Venus and the spot just below, that with the slightest bit of pressure melted her completely. By this time Maria knew exactly what to do with her hands, and took his aching shaft between them, alternating strokes between left and right until Georg was groaning with pleasure. Tenderly he entered her, and after she wrapped her legs around his hips his hands moved to her backside, lifting her just enough to change the angle to drive himself deeper within her. Georg more than filled her, and again she was overcome with emotion, tears spilling from her eyes.
He slowed his rhythmic movements, pulling her close. "Maria, are you all right? I'm not hurting you, am I?"
It took a moment for her to compose herself enough to reply. Her voice was rough and lusty. "No, not hurting….oh, God!" she exclaimed, grinding herself closer. Georg once more began thrusting, harder and faster until he joined Maria in the throes of her orgasm, releasing himself into her and filling her completely. They lay together until they parted naturally; she running her hands across his chest; he stroking her back from shoulder to hip.
"I have to say, that was quite a welcome home, my love," Georg teased her. She blushed in his arms, and moved to pull away. He simply pulled her closer, kissing her forehead. "And I'm very glad I found you when I did. If I'd had to go to your room, we might have woken some of the servants."
Maria looked at him, horrified, and he quickly reassured her that he was teasing."But even if I wasn't, they'll find out soon enough, yes? I mean, after that, you can't help but accept my proposal."
She met his brilliant blue eyes with her own. "Well, I intended to say yes, but-"
Georg wrinkled his brow. "But, what?"
Maria took a deep breath. "But, remember when I told you that I know what people would think, if you were to marry me?"
"Yes. But I don't care what people think."
She closed her eyes. "But now they won't just think it." When she heard no reaction, she opened her eyes.
Georg was staring at her, expressionless. Maria watched as he finally understood what she'd just told him.
"You mean-?"
"A baby." Maria blurted it out.
She watched as a smile spread across his face.
