A/N: Hola everyone. Sorry it took so long to update, but things came up (like Christmas…it happens), then school started urrggg.
True story: I keep a pile of books, notebooks, pens etc beside my bed, because I do all of my writing in my very tiny room. The first draft of this story was on a bunch of loose-leaf on top of that pile. I've been quasi-sick for the past few days, but I must have been totally delirious last night, because I woke up and the first draft was in my bed right next to my face. It was like the fanfiction gods were telling me to update. Weird, yeah?
So, here is chapter seven. The last one!!! I still can't get over the fact that I've actually finished something. Extra thanks to my reviewers. You guys rock my small literary world.
Warning: is this even necessary? Yep still slash.
Disclaimer: contrary to popular believe, I don't own harry potter. Shocker, I know…
Le chapter:
VIIxoxoxoxVII
Year Seven
I board the train
And know I have to tell you
The idea haunted me sixth year
And all summer
It rubbed my insides raw
And made me want to throw up
This has to end
You have to know
I find you with Peter
James is Head Boy
--Amazing I know—
So he doesn't join us
The train ride is torture
Filled with forced laughter
And silences so saturated with emotion
That I want to disappear.
xoxoxox
This is our last year
That terrifies me
No more Hogwarts
Time is running short
I have to tell you
But excuses paralyze me
And days turn into weeks
xoxoxox
Lily and James grow closer
She even smiles at me sometimes
I think James tells her things about me
And my horrible life
But I don't mind
It's good to have her encouragement
However silent.
xoxoxox
N.E.W.Ts make you stressed
Sometimes you snap at us
And you're always exhausted
The anguish comes out during the full moon
Some nights we don't dare leave the shack
You tear yourself apart
And all we can do is watch.
Even when you're human
You're edgy all the time
You've always been endearingly sarcastic
Now you're practically caustic
Your unnatural bitterness
Hurts you more than us
I see it in your eyes
And it kills me.
xoxoxox
One night I wake up
Your bed is empty
I find you in the Common Room
Your books piled around you
And you're crying
I sit beside
And ask you what's wrong
You look at me with dark puffy eyes
And tell me
No matter how well I do
I'll only have a half-life
With a second rate job
And I'll be alone
Because of the wolf
And I'll watch everyone
Be happy and move up in life
And I'll be left behind
Until I fade away.
So why should I even bother
With these stupid books
And stupid grades
That won't mean anything
Because no one will care?
My heart breaks
I hold you
And kiss your hair
You don't move away
You cry against me until there's nothing left
Then I tell you
You have to do well
So you can fight
Because things won't be like this forever
And you have to be ready
For when the world changes
Until then, you have to work harder
To get what we take for granted
And no matter what
I tell you
I'll never leave you
And I'll always care.
You break away a little
Your eyes are a question
You wonder how much I mean that.
Before I can even think
I kiss you.
Then I realize what I'm doing
I break away violently
I can't stop apologizing
There are tears in my eyes now
I want to run away
But I'm babbling
I'm on my feet and trying to flee
Your voice rises over my ranting
Sirius, stop being an idiot!
You take my hand
Touch my cheek
And you kiss me
And you keep kissing me
I can't breath
I want to cry
And the moment is perfect.
xoxoxox
I have never been happier
And the whole world knows it.
James just rolled his eyes and grinned
When he saw us holding hands
Peter looked surprised
Then shrugged.
I can't stop touching you
And you can't stop touching me
The Slytherines hate us more than ever
But I love kissing you in front of Regulus.
xoxoxox
By Halloween James and Lily are dating
James got one chance
One Hogsmeade visit
That's really all he needed anyway
And Lily relented.
They're beautiful together
xoxoxox
Life is still hard
It still hurts us
But we aren't alone
And that makes all the difference.
xoxoxox
You taught me how to speak basic Meremish,
That time can belong to two people for a little while,
What it's like to dance
With someone's hands in my back pockets
And head on my shoulder,
That honesty can make you weightless.
xoxoxox
Do you remember when
We first kissed in the corridor
The world stopped and starred
But they accepted it rather quickly
Or when we had that snowball fight
And James ran into a tree
We couldn't stop laughing
Lily was so concerned about that gash
On his cheek
But when it scarred over
She said it made him look roguish and sexy
And when I went to your house for Christmas
Your mother looked at you and me
She smiled so knowingly I blushed
I love your mum.
And those nights
Staying up late watching the fire die
Sometimes all four of us
Sometimes just you and me
But you were always beside me
Remember lying under our favorite tree
Heartbeat to heartbeat
Those memories are forever.
xoxoxox
The train stopped for the last time
We stepped off into the world
I would go home with James again
So I kissed you long and slow
Savoring your taste and scent
And the feel of your hair between my fingers
I saw my parents looking
Horror stricken.
I hope they saw how much I love you
I kissed you again
Then left with my new family
I would miss you
And it hurt
But I'd never been so happy
Nor felt so loved.
VIIxoxoxoxVII
A/N: So that's it. I hope you all enjoyed this. I have lot stuff going on, so I don't know when I'll be writing anything else, but I'll definitely try my hardest. I know I've neglected my other stories. Anyway, thanks for keeping with me throughout this story. Until we meet again, ciao.
