Copyright disclaimer: Twilight and all recognizable characters are sole property of Stephenie Meyer.
Chapter 7: New beginnings, Old Memories
Emily gave her the strangest look when she entered the bakery the following morning.
Bella looked down at her top, "What, did I spill something on myself?"
"I wasn't expecting you after the morning you had."
"That son of a bitch. I swear he should start up his very own gossip column. I told him to keep quiet. It wasn't any of his business." Of course, Bella was referring to Paul checking in on her in the predawn hours. He walked in while she was starting coffee. She hadn't had a chance to air out the place or Febreeze the furniture. He went completely berserk, called Rachel over and disclosed what had occurred according to his nose.
Rachel was horrified. "How could you...with him, of all people and in my brother's house?"
Bella told them both to leave, but they intended to a have a long talk with her that evening. She was considering spending the night at Charlie's. She did manage to tell Rachel, perhaps a long talk with her father was what she really needed before she lectured Bella again. She couldn't understand why Rachel was left in the dark. The animosity and secrets had allowed her to develop an unfair hatred for the only brother she had left. Billy and Embry needed to tell her and Rebecca the truth.
Emily pulled her into the office away from curious employees. "I thought I was your best friend?"
"You are, Emily. You know that."
"Do I? Because if I ever had sex with someone else, you'd be the first to know. I'm not and never would, so scratch that example, but damn...Embry. I can't believe it. Sam told me a long time ago he had a crush on you, but that was it."
Bella told her a little bit of the history, leaving out the brother part because really that was only Billy and Embry's secret to tell. She tried to distract her with work, but Emily said they had at least thirty minutes before customers arrived and they had enough hired help, they could stay in the office and talk.
"This doesn't sound like a fling."
"It wasn't. Do I seem like the fling type?"
"I pushed you to go out with Bret."
"I like Bret, he's nice."
"But you love Embry. I feel like such a fool and a rotten friend. It's written all over your face. I have no idea how I missed it."
Bella assured her she was a great friend and it was true, she didn't know how to stop loving Embry, but it wasn't enough. He thought she needed something different. Continuing a relationship with him wasn't possible.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure that I love him with all my heart and that he loves me, but he still walked away. That's all I'm sure about."
They got to work and Emily didn't press her too much more, but she told Bella to expect some repercussions. Paul did have a big mouth, so they all knew. However, they all genuinely worried about her, it wasn't purely gossip. None of that mattered to her. She'd made up her mind, she was moving. She found a place she really wanted to see. Charlie was accompanying her the next afternoon, because it was a private sublet and he didn't feel comfortable with her going alone. The pack was always going to be her second family, but she was tired of them treating her like a child. She needed her independence.
She got her dad's seal of approval on the apartment. He checked the crime statistics and was satisfied it was a safe neighborhood. The landlord was a middle-aged man with a family. His cousin was studying abroad and leasing it out for six months, maybe longer. Bella thought the six month lease was a good starting point and it was walking distance to the bakery. Charlie hinted around he knew something had gone on, but was trying to give her a chance to come clean. She finally did over dinner. He was understanding as usual, but was a little worried about the date she accepted so suddenly.
"Bells, don't rush. You seem like you're coming out a very emotional relationship. I hate that you felt like you needed to conceal it. We love you. I wouldn't have judged you. I have half the mind to pay that man a visit. You deserved so much better, especially after what you went through."
"There's no reason to see Embry on my behalf. I was a willing party. I made just as many bad decisions that hurt me, but I think this new friend might be exactly what I need right now."
"Why don't I run a background check?"
She gagged on her water, "Please don't, that's embarrassing and totally unnecessary."
"He'll never know. Humor me and give me the okay because you know I'm going to do it regardless." Bella wrote his full name down on a napkin. She fully expected Bret to come out squeaky clean.
Before they left the parking lot, he pulled a folded envelope of his pocket. He said he debated it for many weeks. He rented out the old house in town, but sometimes letters came and the couple that lived there would drop things off at the station, occasionally.
"Bells, it doesn't say so. Look, it's only your name and address in fancy lettering. There wasn't even a postmark. I think it's from the Cullens. I debated whether I should throw it away, but I decided to give you the chance to decide." She couldn't believe after all the time that had passed, the Cullens would have the nerve to make contact, but her curiosity got the best of her and she took the letter. She opened it and Charlie's instincts were spot on. Bella held her breath, but relaxed slightly when she realized it was from Alice not Edward.
"It's just Alice."
He asked if it was okay for him to start back and she nodded her head up and down. Her voice was stuck in her throat. She sat in the passenger seat and scanned the words. Alice rambled quite a bit. She told her about their travels, and mentioned several places they'd lived and visited. She even bored her with some fashion discussions. She didn't name them one by one, just that everyone was fine. She eventually made an apology, but said Edward convinced them there was no other way. She wasn't safe with their family. Alice couldn't help herself, she checked on her when she could. He told her not to. Most of time there was nothing. Carlisle elaborated on the new pack. He had checked back in the area several times. They'd all come to the conclusion, the wolves inhibited her visions.
Occasionally, I saw. You're beautiful, you've grown into a lovely young woman. I've seen many things: happiness, laughter, extreme sorrow, ups and downs, fear, anger, and joy. I believed it was all part of a normal human life. You were living, and that's what we hoped for. However, the last time I checked, the scenery had changed dramatically. Bella, I saw you in a lovely home. It was the longest vision I'd witnessed in years. The others were all so brief. You were surrounded by beautiful things. I didn't see them, but there were children nearby. Colorful artwork was on the walls and various toys littered the table. A bat and ball were propped up in a corner. All those things looked exactly the way I imagined a typical family's home would, but you...you were just there. You were existing, but long gone were all the emotions, I'd seen before. I eventually lost the vision. I don't know what it means, but I had to write. If you are at a crossroads in life, please be careful. I didn't like seeing you that way. It was more encouraging to not see you, like most times. It was one of the rare times, I wished I could cry real tears, because I don't want you to ever feel like that. Don't worry, I'm doing my best, I won't show Edward. You know I'm not always right. You're still in control of your own destiny. Please take care and know that I will always care about you...we all will.
Your friend always, Alice
"Is everything alright, kiddo?" Bella wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "She upset you. I should've tossed it. I'm sorry."
"No, it's no biggie. It's just Alice, she'll never change. None of them will. She said she only wanted to check-in, no idea why she waited so long to do so. But if any other letters, come...please, toss them. There's nothing left for us to say to each other."
"Will do."
"Thanks, Dad."
She wasn't going to dwell on Alice's strange vision. It had no bearing on her new decisions. Those were pretty much made for her and she was determined to make the best of it, no matter what.
Bella was finally satisfied she looked as good as she could. She tried on about ten different outfits, put her hair up then back down. He saw it up all the time, so she thought she'd be different. Bret had texted when he was on the way. She was expecting him any second.
Of course, she hadn't heard from him. He left her after the first completely honest time they'd ever shared. Her heart broke in a million pieces, but by the next morning she gave herself a pep talk in the shower even though Paul and Rachel had read her the riot act. She felt defeated briefly, like giving up but that would dishonor Jacob's memory and she refused to give up. She had to make her own choices and not be influenced by anyone else. She needed to look ahead to the future once and for all. No more living in the past or dwelling on what ifs.
She heard a car, but decided to stay put and let him come to door. She didn't want to seem too eager. It was more like, let's get this over with, so he finally realizes she wasn't that great.
He knocked in a perfect rhythm, not too hard, not too soft.
She was greeted by a large bouquet of flowers, probably the biggest she'd ever seen.
He pushed them towards her. "For you. Hope you're not allergic."
"No, not at all. These are great. Hold on, while I put them in some water."
Bret looked more casual than she was used to since, he was normally in a suit for work. She really did think that he was handsome, and his blue eyes actually twinkled in the light. He stepped inside the living room, while she looked in the back of the cabinet for a vase. She couldn't remember the last time fresh flowers were in the house. Briefly, a memory flashed. It was their anniversary, right before he was taken from her. She wasn't going to do it. Anything could remind her of Jacob if she let it. She came back from the kitchen to find him holding a framed photo.
"I'm sorry. I hope you don't mind."
"No it's okay. It was our engagement picture."
"Nice couple. You don't ever have to hide what you felt about him. I get it. He was your husband. That'll always be a part of you."
She thanked him. Bret seemed almost too good to be true. She didn't know why she always felt at ease with him. She rarely spent any time around anyone outside the pack. He seemed like the real deal. He never acted like he was pretending.
They walked outside and she closed her eyes once, then twice to see if they were playing tricks on her. The front end of Embry's car was peeking behind a tree on her road. He showed up at the exact time of her date. What did it mean? She tried not to react as Bret escorted her to his car. What if Embry stepped out? She didn't want to hurt or embarrass her date, but she was almost certain she'd break up on the spot if he came back for her. Bella wasn't even sure that it was necessary to break up, it was only their first date. It was better to do it before, rather than after the date. He probably already had the wrong idea just because she finally said yes.
She urged him in her mind please...please get out of the car, but it wasn't meant to be. The car backed up and turned around and went in the other direction, most likely towards his father's house. He left...he came, but he left her again. She promised it was the last time. Bella leaned back against Bret's seat and buckled up. He asked if she was reading.
"Yes, I'm ready." What are you ready for? She asked herself. Bella glanced again at Bret. He smiled and so did she.
Once they started driving, she relaxed and stopped second guessing herself. Bella stared out the window as a familiar voice spoke through her memory, reminding her once again, "Get busy living or get busy dying."
~Thanks for reading.
In all honestly, it was my original plan that this was a one shot and would end right there. I hope some of you are happy, I changed my mind and added to my idea. I have a plan. It's not a quick fix by any means, but if you're still interested, I'm continuing the story.
