And the soul afraid of dying
That never, never learns to live


My dearest Detective,

There's something going on. I can't place it or figure it out yet. "Third time's the charm." I know it's a really old saying but there was something in the way you said it. Maybe it's a joke. Or maybe you just said it because it was me. Or was it hope, perhaps? You really are a mystery I'll never be able to solve.

Speaking of which, that was a really crazy case. Page Six may say I'm a playboy but it's mostly publicity. Our victim is over-the-top. I can't handle that many women.

Which makes me remember…

The first time I suggested that we are married, you wanted a divorce right away. Now, when you made an example out of us, it seemed that you wanted it to last forever.

As I've said. Mystery.

Anyway, thank you for being my "plus one". I enjoyed dancing with you during the reception. You know, there is something in that song that I like it a lot. Perhaps it's the melody or perhaps it's the lyrics. Maybe it is telling our story so far. Anyway, it was extra special tonight because we danced to it. Maybe some other day, we'll dance to it again.


Thank you for giving me another chance. I know I'm biased when it comes to friends, like my high school friend (you were right on that one but thank you, too, for letting me investigate and find out for myself). You know, I would do the same for you. But working on this case made me remember that Montgomery had a friend who is helping me to keep you safe. In time, I will let you know about him. Just not today because if I do, you will dive into your mother's case again and they will come after you again.

I cannot let that happen.


I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that Clara Strike was based on a real person. In my defence, you didn't ask!

Anyway, I thought I was going to lose you again when I found you nearly unconscious inside your submerged car. I panicked for a second that I almost didn't manage to shoot the windows and your seatbelt loose. At that moment, I thought that I need to save you even if it meant that I wouldn't. I don't want to die yet but if it meant saving the one I love, I would have.

I didn't tell you but when Sophia went to the loft the night she gave me Blakely's account numbers, she saw my murder board. I told her I'm doing this because you are different. I think she knew what you mean to me.

Because I would never have done it is it was her. Or any other, for that matter, barring my mother and Alexis.

Just you.

Speaking of Alexis, you really didn't have to shout to the whole morgue that Sophia and I slept together. The good thing is we both got embarrassed and you look cute. So, you're cute when you're both angry and embarrassed. Since Alexis knows that I have feelings for you, the look on her face when I glanced at her tells me that she thought you're jealous. And you were.

What I told you about Clara – starting out as Sophia, ending up being like you – is true. Whilst we dated for a year, she was nothing like you. She could be sweet but when it means business, it's business. She couldn't take a little joke when times got rough and when you suggested a little thing that could have been helpful, she shut it down. Meanwhile, you accept my crazy theories. I know what I told you about the dress and the rose being wrong in the Tisdale case helped you or else you wouldn't have kept investigating. Then I see you smile.


I heard it all, Kate. Why did you have to lie to me? I can take that you are healing but lying to me? If you aren't ready, you could have said so and I will wait. I will always wait because for you, I can.

I don't know what to do now. I've been hurt by you before, when I saw you with Tom or with Josh but this is a low blow. Yes, I am keeping something from you, too, but it's for your sake because I can't watch you…

You lied because you can't handle it or because you don't feel the same. Or maybe because you thought I can't handle what you're going through. Did you really think I'm that…shallow that I can't handle something, or someone, complicated?

You know what? If you think that, then I'm going to show you that. I don't want complicated right now. I need to go away for a while. I'm flying to Vegas for the weekend to clear my mind. Gamble, sight-see, hook up with someone uncomplicated. I know it will help.

I really thought we were building something.